


Safe, Consensual and Comfortable.

by NeverBeenAWriter



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, BDSM, Blow Jobs, Bottom Dan Howell, Consensual Kink, Deepthroating, Denial of Feelings, Dom Phil Lester, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enthusiastic Consent, Explicit Consent, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Kink Negotiation, Light BDSM, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Oral Fixation, Oral Sex, Pet Names, Porn, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, Protective Phil, Rimming, Safe Sane and Consensual, Sex Work, Slow Burn, Smut, Social Anxiety, Spanking, Sub Dan Howell, The sex and smut is really not the focus here, Top Phil Lester, pornstar AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-28
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2019-11-06 20:45:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 36
Words: 87,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17946818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeverBeenAWriter/pseuds/NeverBeenAWriter
Summary: Dan is a struggling actor who gets scouted by an adult entertainment company. There's no harm in just going to an interview right? It's not like he'd accept the job.AKA: A pornstar Phan AU no one asked for ^^;This is way more fluff and character building than it is about the porn. Just a heads up cause a lot of readers said they at first skipped it assuming it would be all about porn haha.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As always, I am making no claims about the real people Daniel James Howell and Phillip Micheal Lester. I don't know their relationship status or sexual preferences this is just a work of fiction.

Dan shifted in his seat nervously as he waited for his Uber driver to pull up in front of the coffee shop that he had requested to be dropped off at. He wasn’t actually going to the coffee shop but it was the closest place to where he was having this interview, and he was not asking this stranger to drop him of at a place known for porn shoots. No way, that wasn’t happening. So instead, he got out and paid the man, waited for him to drive off, and then set out on foot towards the building.

 

He hoped walking in the cold air would calm his nerves. It didn’t. He was barely twenty and this was his first gig of this kind. He’d wanted to get into acting from a pretty young age and had been trying since he’d finished high school, but it wasn’t going as planned. He’d done some bit parts, as well as a few commercials before he got scouted by a company who thought he’d do well in the adult entertainment industry.

 

At first he had instantly turned it down, knowing it wasn’t something he’d be comfortable with, even if he had no moral objection to the idea of porn. But once he’d emailed back and forth a bit with the director, he’d felt a bit more comfortable and was told to come in and speak with them in person before declining the offer. He’d gone over it in his head many times, going back and forth about whether he should go or not, but the pay was good and it was just a meeting. In the end he decided it was worth a shot.

 

That’s how he ended up inside the door of a building that was mostly used for porn shoots. It was clean and brightly lit, with surprisingly colorful décor. Not at all the sleezy, back ally place he’d been expecting. He saw a woman at a desk in the corner and approached her. “Umm.. Hi, I’m Daniel.” He stuttered as he spoke. He wondered if she knew why he was there, but then again, why else would anyone be here?

 

“Hello, I’m Cynthia, can I help you?” she asked, her kind smile lighting up the room. Dan shifted his weight from side to side. “Are you looking for work?”

 

“No.” Dan said defensively before remembering why he was here. “Well, maybe…?” He said it like a question and Cynthia let out a light laugh. “I was asked to come speak with the director for SCC.”

 

“Oh, lovely, he should be done with his lunch break in a few minutes if you’re able to wait,” she responded. “I’ll let him know you’re here. Daniel, was it?” Dan nodded and she smiled, gesturing to the couch against the large window. “Take a seat and make yourself comfortable.”

 

Dan smiled back at her, glad she was at least kind and not making this more awkward than it had to be. He took a seat on the bright orange couch and pulled out his phone to distract himself. He had barely had the chance to bring up Instagram when the woman behind the desk spoke to him again. “Mr. Lester said you’re more than welcome to join him for lunch if you’re comfortable with that.” She looked at him expectantly, waiting for an answer.

 

“Yeah, I guess that’s fine,” Dan replied, getting up and putting his phone back in his pocket. He looked around a bit. “Which way is it?” he asked.

 

“His office is this way; follow me.” Cynthia got up and led him down a soft blue hallway and pushed open a sliding door. Behind it was a small but cozy office, with a window, two couches, a desk, a bookshelf with trinkets, and many plants. The office was nice, but Dan’s eyes were more caught by the man sitting on one of the couches eating pizza.

 

The man looked up and smiled. “Thank you Cynthia,” he said gesturing for her to leave. She nodded and left, leaving the door open behind her. “Welcome, Daniel,” he said, turning his attention to the brunette. Dan’s feet and eyes shifted, finding it hard to stay still and keep focused, his anxiety getting the better of him. The man stood up and approached him, a kind smile on his face. “Are you alright?” he asked gently.

 

“Just nervous,” Dan answered honestly.

 

“No need to be,” he replied. “The doors open so you can leave at any time, no pressure,” he added. Dan nodded, taking some comfort in that. “Come sit?” Dan followed the man back to the couches and sat on the one across from the other man. “I’m Phil Lester, the man you were speaking to over email.”

 

“Dan Howell,” Dan replied. “I guess you know that though,” he added, mentally slapping himself for his awkwardness. He was thankful Phil didn’t offer him a handshake, he’d never been a fan of those.

 

Phil nodded. “How are you doing today?” he asked, sitting back against the couch.

 

Dan almost laughed at how casual the other man was, he was sitting cross legged on the couch, his long legs taking up a good section of it, he also wasn’t wearing shoes and had brightly colored mismatched socks. “I’m okay I guess,” Dan answered. “How are you?” he asked, feeling it was the polite thing to do. He didn’t know how he was supposed to speak to a person who was possibly looking to hire him as a porn actor.

 

“I’m doing pretty well,” the man replied. “Do you eat pizza?” he asked.

 

“Yeah, normally,” Dan replied. “Unless it has weird toppings.”

 

Phil chuckled, turning the pizza box to Dan. “Feel free to have some,” he said with a smile. “Do you want Cynthia to get you anything to drink?”

 

“No, I’m alright. Thank you though,” he responded. He was too nervous to eat, scared that he’d get sick.

 

“Of course, if you need anything just ask,” Phil said. He put his piece of pizza down and leaned forward, focusing his attention on Dan. “So,” he said making sure he had the other’s attention. “Do you have any questions you want to ask?”

 

Dan looked down for a moment, trying to think. He hated how his brain didn’t work as well when his anxiety spiked. “I don’t know,” he answered, looking back up and seeing the bright blue eyes looking back at him. He blushed lightly.

 

“Okay, no problem,” Phil replied. “I’ll just go over some of the basics, yeah?” Dan nodded. “So, as you know the company I run is called SCC, do you know why that is?” Dan shook his head no, a bit embarrassed that he hadn’t researched it before coming. “It stands for ‘safe, consensual and comfortable’,” he explained. “That is the main focus here, I want everything to be as comfortable for everyone as it can be.”

 

“That sounds like a nice concept, but like, why? If I may ask,” Dan replied.

 

“I used to work in the industry and things are not always so above board,” Phil answered. “I put the people who work for me above the content, always.”

  


“Oh, I guess I don’t know much about the business, so I just assumed most of it was ethical,” Dan responded.

 

“You’d be surprised,” he said, leaning back a bit. “Speaking of which, may I see your ID?”

 

“Yeah sure.” Dan reached down into his bag that he’d put down beside him, finding his wallet and pulling out his ID, passing it to Phil.

 

The older man scanned it before passing it back. “Perfect, just needed to make sure you were of age, people sometimes lie about that.” Dan nodded in understanding. “I have a couple more questions. You do not have to answer any of them, but if you choose not to, I cannot work with you. Is that alright?”

 

“Sure, whatever,” Dan replied with a shrug. “I don’t have many dark secrets so I should be able to answer them.”

 

Phil smiled. “Okay, so first off, do you do drugs, or drink to the point of lowered inhibitions?” he asked, his face becoming more serious than it had been before.

 

“Nope, I’m scared of getting high, and I don’t like drinking more than a glass of wine or a cocktail now and then,” Dan answered. “I could give those up if I needed to though.”

 

“No, that’s fine, I just need to know you’re in your right mind to consent at all times, drinking off the clock is fine.” Phil pulled a piece of paper off his desk, glancing at it before speaking again. “You would need to be tested for any STI’s, though you’ll never be expected to have unsafe sex, as that goes against the whole concept.”

 

Dan nodded. “I got tested last month and was fine, but I would do it again if this was something I was actually going to do.”

 

“Perfect,” Phil replied. “Are you interested in men, women, or both?” he asked, grabbing a pencil off the desk and writing on the paper from before.

 

“Men preferably, but I’ve been with women before,” Dan answered.

 

Phil nodded, writing down a few more things before turning his attention back to the brunette. “Okay, I guess that’s all the questions I need to ask for now, if you did decide to take the job there’d be a few more, but those can wait.” Phil put the clipboard and pencil down beside him. “Are you interested at all? If not, no hard feeling.” Phil smiled at him.

 

“I’m more interested than when I came in,” Dan answered. “I was expecting something else entirely.”

 

“Thank you,” Phil replied. “I take that as a high complement, I want this place to be much different than what people expect.”

 

“I know you said the pay is ranged, can I ask what that is about?” Dan questioned.

 

“Of course,” Phil responded. “The pay depends on a few things, first off, you get to approve the final cut, and if you’re not comfortable with it being released then that will affect the pay quite a bit as the work of everyone involved is wasted.” Phil explained. “That being said you are always encouraged to speak up, never consent to something you don’t want.” Dan smiled, he wasn’t sure if Phil was truly this kind person, or if was a really good actor, but something about him just screamed trust worthy.

 

“The pay is also affected by the length of the shoot. We do full movies as well as smaller clips. Kinks can also make a difference in pay, as well as who you’re willing to film with,” Phil explained farther. “So like, if you’re only willing to film with one or two people and are only comfortable with a few kinks, you may be needed less often, therefore affecting the monthly pay.”

 

“What do you mean by ‘willing to film with?’” Dan asked.

 

“I mean exactly that. I will not pair you up with anyone, you will get to meet some of the other guys and see who you like, I don’t see the point in faking sex with someone you dislike,” Phil answered.

 

Dan nodded. “I guess that makes sense, I never really thought about it. I guess it would be hard to pretend to be into someone if I knew they were racist.”

 

Phil laughed. “Exactly,” he agreed. “That being said I wouldn’t keep someone on staff if I found out they were racist, cause that would make others uncomfortable, as well as myself.”

 

“So….” Dan paused. “If I am considering this job, what else would I need to answer?”

 

Phil smiled wide. “I have a couple forms you can fill out.” Phil got up and went behind his desk to grab another clipboard, this time with a decent stack of forms clipped to it.

 

“Wow this is a lot of paperwork,” Dan mused as he took the clipboard from Phil.

 

“Consent can’t truly be given without information,” Phil replied. “Oh and also, nothing there is a contract, we would go over that together, with a lawyer if you’d like.”

 

“Okay,” Dan replied. “I have to get through all this stuff first, but if I did sign a contract what is required of me?” he asked, his nerves returning at the idea of selling his body.

 

“Nothing,” Phil replied. “It’s mostly just a contract that says you have to inform me if you are sick or have an STI, if you’re drunk or high, mostly things we’ve gone over. It’s there more for your protection than mine,” Phil explained.

 

“Can I ask how you’re possibly able to make money with the way you run things?” Dan asked, knowing it wasn’t something you should ask in a job interview, if that’s even what this was.

 

“It’s not that hard,” Phil answered. “Porn is a huge industry that makes billions, you can do it ethically and still make money, just not to the same degree. I may not drive a sports car, but I can sleep at night.”

 

Dan nodded. “Can I take these home with me to go over?” he asked, holding up the papers.

 

“Of course.” Phil smiled at him. “If you have any questions you can email, or my cell number is on the first page,” he added.

 

“Okay, thanks,” Dan said, getting up from the couch.

 

“Not a problem.” Phil walked with him to the office door. “Really think it over, don’t do anything you’re not okay with,” he added. “Oh, and we can do a trail of anything if you’re unsure.”

 

“What does that mean?” Dan asked.

 

“It means you can see where we shoot, how that all works, see how you feel in the make-up and under the lights. Whatever you feel you might need to make up your mind,” Phil explained. He was standing close to Dan now and he was surprised they were about the same height. Somehow the other seemed both smaller and larger at the same time.

 

“So, I can test what it’s like to have sex with a stranger in front of a camera while a bunch of people watch?” Dan asked with a chuckle.

 

“If you want to,” Phil replied. “I’d recommend starting off with something less intense than that, but whatever you want.”

 

“So like, making out with a stranger in front of a camera while a bunch of people watch?” Dan questioned.

 

“Yes, something more like that,” Phil replied with a chuckle of his own.

 

Dan nodded and smiled. “I’ll think about it, thanks for giving me your time, Mr. Lester.”

 

“Phil, call me Phil, we are on even footing,” Phil replied.

 

“Right, thanks Phil.” Dan smiled and gave a quick wave before exiting Phil’s office. Cynthia gave him a smile and a wave as he walked past as well, and he felt surprisingly less anxious than when he’d walked in.


	2. Chapter 2

 

Over the next week Dan went over all of the papers. Filling out all the forms and checking off the boxes that applied to him, while he watched TV. He was surprised by how welcoming everything was worded, no shame or harsh language. He could tell Phil had definitely written it himself, as it had that same gentle nature. He told himself he was just filling out the papers because he was curious, he still wasn’t intending to take a job in porn. He wasn’t confident enough for that.

 

He placed them down on the coffee table in the middle of his small apartment, putting the thought aside. Every time he walked past them he debated about it again, weighing out his options. He’d made a pros and cons list, but the only real con was the simple fact that it was porn, something he’d never considered, something he didn’t even watch much of.

 

After a few days of them sitting on the table, he picked them up, looking them over again before deciding he might as well drop them off at the SCC building, maybe Phil would tell him he wasn’t a match anyway, then he wouldn’t have any decision to make. Deciding that was the best idea, he got dressed in his normal attire of black skinny jeans and a black jumper, before calling an Uber to again take him to the coffee shop.

 

It was early afternoon when he was dropped off, and the cold morning chill was still in the air. He paid the driver and headed inside the small café to get a green tea to warm him up. “Thanks,” he said to the person behind the counter who handed him his drink, taking a sip and almost spitting as the taste of hot chocolate hit his palate. He didn’t hate hot chocolate, but when he was expecting tea it was a shock. He heard a small chuckle. “I think you may have taken my drink instead,” a male voice said.

 

He spun around quickly. “Oh my, I’m so sorry,” he said quickly. “Here I’ll buy you another,” he added, reaching into his jean pocket for his wallet.

 

“It’s fine, Daniel.” Dan looked up at the sound of his name, seeing Phil. “Didn’t expect to see you here, though I can’t say it’s unwelcome.” Phil smiled.

 

Dan blushed and stuttered. “Umm… I was just, ah, coming to drop off the papers…” he muttered, thrown off his game by running into Phil unexpectedly. It was one thing now that he knew what to expect from the other man, but he didn’t like this kind of surprise interaction.

 

“Oh, really?” Phil replied. “I am glad to hear that, would you like to walk back with me?” he asked, passing Dan the tea he was holding.

 

“Oh right,” Dan took the green tea, but didn’t know what to do with Phil’s drink, he’d already drank from it, surely he couldn’t just hand it to his potential new boss. Phil chuckled taking the cup from his hand. “I drank from that,” Dan stated, as he saw Phil go to take a sip.

 

Phil laughed. “Been in the business quite a few years, sharing a drink is nothing,” he replied, taking a sip and smiling at the familiar taste of his favorite hot chocolate. Dan couldn’t help but think about the fact that it was an indirect kiss, years of anime, teaching him that was something of note, though in reality he knew it wasn’t. “So? Care to walk back with me?” Phil asked again.

 

“Yeah, okay,” Dan agreed. They walked out of the coffee shop and continued side by side down the sidewalk, shoulders almost brushing a couple times. “So, uhh… I filled out all the papers, but I’m still not really sure,” Dan admitted, glancing his eyes at Phil.

 

“No worries,” Phil replied, seemingly not annoyed with Dan’s uncertainty. “Was there anything in the papers that you took issue with?”

 

“No, not at all. Actually, quite the opposite, I really like the policies you have in place and the way you run things,” Dan answered, he admired the honest way Phil ran the company and it clearly showed.

 

“Thank you Daniel,” Phil replied. “I really appreciate that.”

 

“It’s Dan,” Dan corrected. Phil smiled and nodded. “I was wondering if you could just go over the papers and let me know if you think I’d even be what you’re looking for.”

 

“I most certainly can, but I can also tell you with confidence that without even reading those I know you would be perfect,” Phil answered, holding open the door to the SCC building to let Dan inside.

 

“Thanks,” Dan said quickly, stepping inside. “Really?” he questioned. “I don’t think anyone has ever had confidence in me,” he added with a laugh. Phil laughed as well.

 

“Cynthia,” Phil said, getting the attention of the receptionist. “Can I have a copy of the contract brought into my office, please?”

 

“Of course,” she replied with a warm smile. “That will just be a minute. Can I get you anything else?”

 

“No, thank you,” Phil replied. “Unless you need anything?” he asked, turning his attention back to Dan.

 

“I’m good, thanks.” Dan shifted his weight from side to side, again slightly nervous to be here, even though it was one of the most welcoming places he’d been.

 

“Come with me to my office?” Phil asked. Dan nodded and they headed off down the hall together, entering back into the room they’d met in before. “Is it alright if I close this?” Phil asked.

 

“Sure,” Dan replied with a shrug.

 

Phil smiled and slid it shut. “I just don’t want anyone overhearing your personal business, there are a few people around today,” he explained.

 

“That’s fine,” Dan responded. He hadn’t thought about the fact that other people might see him here, suddenly his nerves increased again.

 

Phil seemed to notice and gestured him to sit down, sitting on the couch across from him. “You don’t have to worry Dan, everyone here is very understanding and won’t discuss you or your business outside of the building.”

 

Dan smiled sheepishly, a bit embarrassed that Phil could tell he was worried, and also a bit embarrassed that he cared what people thought of him that much. “Yeah I know, I read that in the papers, I just…” He paused. “Never mind, sorry,” he said. “Here’s the papers.” He reached into his shoulder bag and pulled out the stack of papers, holding them out to the other man.

 

Phil took the papers from him, putting them down on the table. “Da-“ He opened his mouth to speak, but stopped when the sliding door opened and Cynthia came into the room. “Here you are,” she said, passing Phil the contract. He nodded in thanks and she quickly left, closing the door again behind herself.

 

“Sorry about that,” Phil said, putting the contract on the table in between them as well. “As I was saying. Dan, I’m not willing to look over these if you’re this uncomfortable,” Phil said softly.

 

“I’m not,” Dan defended. “I’m just really awkward and have social anxiety,” he admitted. “I’m not any more uncomfortable here than anywhere else.”

 

Phil chuckled. “I have generalized anxiety disorder so I understand,” he replied. “Are you sure you’re okay with me looking these over?” he asked, knowing they contained very personal things about the younger man.

 

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Dan confirmed, taking another gulp of his tea.

 

“Alright then, I’ll give these a quick read. If you’d be willing to sign a nondisclosure agreement stating, you won’t out anyone who works here. I can give you the file of the other actors and see if any interest you to work with,” Phil said, getting up and walking behind his desk to look over the papers.

 

“Sure,” Dan replied. Phil passed him a piece of paper that was a simple NDA without much confusing language. He read over it quickly before signing it and passing it back to Phil.

 

“Are you sure you don’t want a lawyer to read over that?” Phil asked, before he took the paper.

 

“I did a year of law, I’m able to understand enough to sign that with informed consent,” Dan replied with a smile.

 

Phil smiled back. “Lovely,” he replied, taking the paper. “Also, I am impressed you took law,” he added. “May I ask why you dropped out?”

 

“I came out as gay and my parents stopped paying for my school,” Dan answered with a shrug. “I also hated it, so it’s not a big loss,” he added with a laugh.

 

Phil nodded. “I am sorry to hear your parents aren’t supportive,” he said, passing Dan the file.

 

“It’s fine,” Dan replied. “Never had that close knit kind of family anyway.” He opened up the file and started looking at some of the profiles.

 

Each profile had a name –though clearly a fake one based on the sounds of them- along with a picture, a quick bio about who they were, and their sexual preferences and kinks. “If you have any questions about any of the guys feel free to ask, I know them all quite well,” Phil said. Dan nodded, focusing on the pages in front of him.

 

The guys were all very different, ranging in body types and skin tones, there were even some trans guys and non-binary people and Dan was very impressed with the diversity. They also all looked so good and confident, he wondered if he could ever be that confident in his body. He laughed as he read some of the profiles. “Did the guys write these themselves?” he asked, not recognizing the writing style as Phil’s.

 

“Yes, the bio sections they get to write themselves, the rest is filled out with the info from their papers,” Phil answered. “Which, speaking of those, you filled in the name section with your real name, is that a mistake or do you want to keep your name? I wouldn’t recommend that for safety reason.”

 

Dan looked up, his attention back to Phil. “Oh, no, I didn’t realize I was supposed to make up a name, I just assumed you would assign me one,” Dan answered.

 

“Well, that wouldn’t be consensual at all,” Phil replied with a laugh. “Any idea of what you’d want? We can always change it later.”

 

“I don’t know, what are porn names normally like?” Dan asked, not having memorized enough pornstar’s names to have any idea.

 

“They can be pretty much whatever you want, there’s examples on the pages in front of you,” Phil reminded. “Look over those and then think about it.”

 

Dan returned his attention to the profiles in front of him. Some of the names sounded like actual names, and some were more what he thought of as names of drag queens. He was flipping through the profiles quickly just to see the names, when he saw a familiar face and stopped. “AmazingPhil?” he read aloud.

 

Phil looked up from the papers that he was going over and laughed. “Ah yes, that is in fact my current name,” he answered. “I used to be Phil Striker, but I changed names now that I work for myself,” he explained. “The name sounds a bit conceded, huh?”

 

Dan laughed. “Maybe just a bit,” he answered truthfully. “But I can’t disagree that it suits you,” he muttered as he scanned over the bio and facts about ‘AmazingPhil’.

 

**AmazingPhil:**

 

 **Age:** 27

Gay, Top/verse, Dom.

 

 **Kinks:** Consent ;) Dirty Talk, Praise, BDSM, Humiliation/Teasing, Spanking, Roleplay, Katoptronophilia, Sensation Play, Exhibitionism, Daddy Kink.

 

 **Up for discussion kinks:** Electrostimulation, Gagging, Choking, Impact Play, Urophilia, Sounding, Voyeurism, Group Sex, Wax Play, Age Play.

 

 **Safeword:** Red/Yellow/Green AKA Stoplight system AKA color system.

 

 **Bio:** I was formerly known as Phil Striker, and have been in the business since I was 19. After spending a few years working for people I couldn’t trust and being in situations that were unsafe, uncomfortable, and occasionally barely legal, I decided to start my own company where I could know that everyone is safe and everything is as enjoyable as it can be. I enjoy cartoons, anime, video games, cult classic movies, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I don’t like to party but I do enjoy hanging out with friends.

 

 

Dan laughed again, Phil was a very odd person, but he quite enjoyed it. “Why do you have a profile in here?” he asked.

 

“Well, I may run the place, but I got into porn because I liked the work, though a lot of the time it kind of sucked. But now that I know it’s above board I am able to enjoy it,” Phil replied. “So I am also one of the actors, which is why I insist we are on even footing.”

 

“Wait, really?” Dan exclaimed. “I didn’t realize that.”

 

“I understand it’s a bit weird, but I make sure to have very clear lines I assure you. I am careful who I film with because I recognize no matter what I do there is still that built in power imbalance,” Phil explained. “I rarely film because most people are just a tad nervous of the boss, but I completely understand.”

 

Dan’s eyes were glued to the page in front of him, he didn’t feel the need to look over the other profiles, not when Phil’s was everything he wanted. “What if I wanted to film with you?” Dan asked.

 

Phil looked up at him, eyes widened with surprise. “If you ended up taking the job we could arrange that, it would be on a trial basis first though, if I thought the power imbalance was becoming an issue I wouldn’t continue with you.”

 

Dan nodded. “I don’t think it would be an issue, you seem really chill,” Dan replied. Only now really noticing that he didn’t have anxiety tugging at his mind anymore. “But I mean, if I’m not your type that’s also fine,” he added. “You’re just the only person I’ve met so I’d be more comfortable with you.” That was partially a lie, he doubted that he’d feel as comfortable with the other guys, even if he did meet them. Phil just had a calming way about him.

 

Phil smiled. “I don’t like to use the word ‘type’ as it seems a bit personal, but our preferences line up quite well,” he said with a smile.

 

Dan looked confused. “So wait, does that mean you would be interested or not?”

 

“Well, you’d have to decide if you’re taking the job or not first,” Phil answered. “But, if you’re profile was in the book I would select you, yes.”

  

Dan smiled, feeling oddly confident. The idea that this gorgeous man would pick to have sex with him felt like quite an accomplishment. “Good to know,” he replied. “So, can we look over the contract?”

 

“Of course,” Phil replied, getting up from the desk and bringing a clipboard of papers over to Dan, sitting beside him on the couch so they could go over it together. Dan felt the warmth of the man beside him and he knew, at least part of him had made up his mind.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I did in fact have to look up the proper names for a lot of kinks and now my search history is even more incriminating than it was before. Just in case anyone was wondering haha.
> 
>  
> 
> Feel free to leave comments with anything you would like to see in the upcoming chapters, I always appreciate reader input ^^


	3. Chapter 3

After going over the contract with Phil, Dan was encouraged to take it home and read over it in his own time, or with a lawyer if desired. He did just that, taking it home and looking up any of the legal terms he’d forgotten or missed when he’d skipped class. There wasn’t anything scary on the contract and as Phil had said, he wasn’t required to actually act in any of the films even if he signed it. So he might as well, right?

 

He signed the papers, and a few days later he was back outside the SCC building. This time having had the Uber driver drop him off out front, a little less concerned about his image. It’s not like he’d ever had a good one anyway. He’d always been teased and bullied and didn’t have many close friends so he didn’t have much to lose.

 

He headed into the building, again dressed in his normal black on black style. “Hey,” he said with a wave in Cynthia’s direction as she looked up. 

 

“Welcome back Mr. Howell,” she responded, with her welcoming smile. “Can I get you anything?”

 

“No, I’m just here to drop this off,” he said, passing her the contract file.

 

She glanced at it quickly before her smile returned. “Lovely,” she replied. “Mr. Lester likes the contracts delivered in person to be sure everything is legitimate.”

 

“Okay, no problem. Is he in?” Dan asked, looking down the hall to where he knew his office was.

 

“He is, but he’s currently in a shoot, it should be over soon if you’re able to wait a bit,” she answered, looking at the clock on the wall. “I’d say half an hour at most.”

 

“Yeah, that’s fine. Thanks,” Dan replied, taking a seat on the orange couch and waiting.

 

“If you want anything just ask.” Cynthia returned to her receptionist duties and Dan tuned it out. Scanning through social media apps on his phone. He noticed that the building had wifi named ‘free to use’ but it was password protected. He could ask Cynthia for the password but that wouldn’t be fun, instead he tried to think of what Phil would use. He tried “SCC” but that wasn’t it. He tried “Amazingphil” but that also wasn’t it. He rolled his eyes typing ‘consent’ into the password bar, and chuckling to himself when he got in. Phil really was an easy person to understand.

 

He was playing on his phone, minding his own business when he heard a bell noise and looked up. “It’s just Mr. Lester letting me know the filming is done,” Cynthia said, seeing the way Dan’s head shot up at the noise. “I am going to go bring them some water, just watch the place for me,” she added, getting up and exiting down the hall. 

 

Cynthia returned a couple minutes later. “I’ve informed him you’re here, he said you can wait in his office,” she said, looking to Dan. “Do I need to walk with you, or do you remember where it is?”

 

“I know where it is. Thanks Cynthia,” Dan responded with a smile that matched hers. She nodded at him and returned to her work. He headed off down the hallway and into Phil’s office, leaving the door open as it felt weird to close it when it wasn’t his office. Instead of just sitting down like he had before, he took the opportunity to look around the room at some of things Phil chose to keep in it. 

 

He laughed, noting that almost all of the plants were fake and the only live one was slowly dying. He checked the soil finding it was dry. There was a glass pitcher full of water on the coffee table in the middle of the room, so he took it and slowly poured a bit of water into the planter. “There you go little guy,” Dan said to the plant, watching as the water turned the soil dark.

He heard a gentle laugh from behind him and turned around. Almost dropping the glass pitcher, but catching it just in time with a thankful sigh. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” Phil said, going over and taking the pitcher from Dan’s hands.

 

Dan got a good look at Phil and bit his lip subconsciously, his hair was tussled, his shirt unbuttoned at the top and he was wearing glasses that made him look so respectable. Dan stood and blinked, his mouth and brain not working together to say anything. “Thank you for watering him,” Phil said, bringing Dan back to reality.

 

“No problem, he was thirsty,” Dan responded. He was starting to feel almost as thirsty as the plant, but he kept that part to himself. “So umm… Cynthia said I should give these to you directly,” Dan said, shoving the papers at Phil more forcefully than he intended to.

 

Phil smiled, opening up the pages and seeing them signed. “Are you sure?” he asked.

 

“Yeah. Like you said before, it doesn’t require me to do anything, so there’s no harm in it,” Dan answered.

 

Phil nodded in agreement. “Are you interested at all in trying it out?” Phil asked, taking a seat on one of the couches and pouring himself some water, drinking it down quite quickly. Dan watched as his adams apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed.

 

“Yes,” Dan answered, taking a seat on the couch opposite Phil. “I would be interested if you still are.”

 

Phil grinned. “Of course,” he replied. “I will need your test papers first though.”

 

“They’re in there,” Dan answered pointing to the file with the contract.

 

“Oh, really?” Phil opened it up and flipped though, he read over it quickly and smiled again. “Perfect,” he said, looking pleased. Dan could help but smile back at him, his smile was infectious.

 

“Are you saying you’d like to try today?” Phil asked, looking at him questioningly.

 

“No, I don’t think so. I would need to do like prep and stuff first,” Dan admitted, blushing lightly.

 

Phil tipped his head to the side. “Only if you want to,” he replied. “We have a shower if you just want to clean up, but I don’t mind prepping you if that’s what you mean.”

 

Dan coughed to try and cover the low moan he almost made at the thought of Phil fingering him open. “I meant like, shaving and stuff,” Dan responded. 

 

Phil shrugged. “Again, only if you want to,” he replied. “I’m sure whatever you look like under your clothes is beautiful,” he said with a genuine expression. Dan fidgeted with his hands, not knowing how to respond to that. He wished he was as confident in his body as Phil seemed to be. “I’m sorry, am I making you uncomfortable?” Phil asked. “I meant it in a professional way.”

 

“No, it’s not that. I’m just a bit insecure,” Dan answered.

 

Phil nodded knowingly. “I understand, I’ve never been the most confident person either,” he replied. “Doing this work kind of gets you used to seeing your body from every angle though, it makes you appreciate it for what it is.”

 

“A meat suit that carries around your brain?” Dan questioned with a chuckle.

 

“Well, I meant more like a work of art that can do incredible things. But sure, that,” Phil agreed, laughing along with him.

 

“I guess I will have to get used to it, hard to do porn fully dressed,” Dan mused, pulling at the strings of his ripped knee jeans. 

 

Phil paused, thinking for a moment. “We could try,” he offered with a soft smile. “I mean fully dressed kind of doesn’t work, but we could try mostly dressed.”

 

Dan laughed. “Okay I know your motto is to make everyone comfortable but you’re pushing it Phil, that goes against the whole point,” Dan pointed out, rolling his eyes teasingly.

 

Phil laughed. “I know, but I think even clothed you could fulfill someone’s sexual fantasy.” Phil said it like it was nothing, but Dan took it as everything. Phil just called him a sexual fantasy and that was oddly empowering.

 

“Phil?” Dan asked softly.

 

“Yes, Dan, what is it?” Phil replied, meeting Dan’s eyes.

 

Dan forced himself to keep his eyes on Phil’s despite his instinct telling him to look away. “You said I could practice something if I felt I need to, right?”

 

“Yes, anything at all. Well, within reason,” Phil answered.

 

He needed to know that he wouldn’t take off his clothes for a shoot and be rejected. “Can I practice undressing in front of someone, and by someone I mean you, and by practice I mean like, I’ve done it, but like-?” He was cringing internally and willing his mouth to shut but he kept rambling until Phil cut him off with a laugh.

 

“I understand what you mean,” Phil assured. “And if you think that will help, then of course,” he replied with a smile. “Not here though, this room has a glass door,” he reminded, pointing to the open door that was see-through even when closed.

 

“Right,” Dan agreed with a nod. “Somewhere else?” he asked, wanting to get this over with before his nerves took control of him. He knew he’d be freaking out until it was, so he wanted to get it over with as soon as possible.

 

“We can move to one of the filming room,” Phil replied. “Would you like to inform Cynthia?” he asked.

 

“Why would I do that?” Dan asked, looking oddly horrified. “I don’t need the whole building to know I’m getting naked.”

 

Phil laughed. “I just meant if you were uncomfortable with being alone with me in a closed room,” Phil responded. “I can also have one of the other guys join us, whatever makes you feel safe.”

 

Dan smiled. He hadn’t thought of that. But it now made sense why Phil left the door to the office open unless felt it needed to be closed to protect privacy, and even then he’d ask. Dan mentally slapped himself for not realizing it till now. “I feel safe with you Phil,” Dan answered.

 

Phil’s face lit up in the most genuine smile he’d saw in a long time. “Thank you Dan, that means a lot,” he replied, getting up of the couch and stretching. “Come with me?” 

 

Dan nodded and got up as well, following Phil farther down the hall and into an office space that had been made to look like a posh hotel room. “This is nice,” Dan mused, looking around the room. It was mostly all white and impeccably clean.

 

“I have cleaners come in often,” Phil replied. “As for the decorating, I did that myself,” he said proudly.

 

“The whole building?” Dan asked.

 

“Every room,” Phil answered. “I wanted it to be inviting and cozy which isn’t what a corporate decorator would generally do.”

 

“You did a really good job,” Dan responded.

 

“Thanks.” Phil looked just a bit flushed and Dan wondered if he was making the other blush, or if he was just still winding down from filming what was most likely some hardcore sex.

 

Dan chuckled awkwardly, closing the door behind him. “Oh wait,” he opened it again. “Can I close this?” he asked, looking to Phil. 

 

Phil grinned wide and nodded. “Good job,” he said, not at all patronizing.

 

Dan felt his cheeks heat, he had a praise kink, which Phil knew if he’d read over the papers he’d filled out. “Are you okay with me undressing?” he asked, feeling shy and awkward and not at all sexy.

 

“Yes Dan, is there anything I can do to make you a bit less nervous?” Phil asked, tipping his head to the side in curiosity. 

 

Dan shook his head no. “Just let me get through it,” he answered. Phil nodded and sat down on the bed, gentle smile on his face as he watched Dan.

 

Dan had been naked in front of people before, he’d had sex with a few girls and a few guys. As well as going skinny dipping once and playing a few rounds of truth or dare, which often lead to clothes coming off, but this felt different. He wasn’t getting naked in front of a few people, he was getting naked in front of one, to become comfortable enough to be naked in front of anyone who clicked the watch button. He took a deep breath and pulled his t-shirt over his head.

 

Dan didn’t meet Phil’s eyes, or even look in his direction but he knew he was there by the slight noises he made, finding it hard to sit in silence. “May I comment?” Phil asked.

 

Dan looked to him and covered his chest subconsciously. “Yeah, that’s fine,” Dan answered, he knew Phil would most likely tell him the things he needed to change about himself if he wanted to do well in the industry.

 

“You look beautiful,” Phil said. “Your skin is so smooth and the freckles make your body more interesting.”

 

Dan looked to him, and felt a bit better about himself, he didn’t see judgement on the other’s face, if anything he saw curiosity and fascination. “Thanks…” he muttered quietly, toeing off his shoes.

 

He undid his belt –his useless belt, as he wore his pants to tight and low for it to actually do anything- and the fly of his jeans, hesitating for a second before pulling them off. Leaving him standing there in socks and black boxer briefs, he felt exposed but not as uncomfortable as he was expecting. Seeing how comfortable and unfazed Phil was, calmed his nerves. 

 

Phil stood up and got closer to him, walking around him before returning to face him with a kind smile on his face. “You look even prettier they I’d have guessed.”

 

Dan knew he was bushing but he hoped Phil couldn’t tell. He let out a gasp of air he didn’t know he’d been holding and smiled back. “I don’t feel too bad,” he said with a laugh.

 

“You shouldn’t feel bad at all!” Phil insisted. “Every body is unique and special; you should be proud of it.”

 

“Geez, I wish I had that kind of attitude,” Dan replied with a laugh. “Would have saved me many years of hating this thing,” he added, gesturing to his own body.

 

Phil pouted. “That’s why I want everyone to know their body is perfect as it is,” he said. “I hated mine for a while as well and that’s no way to live.”

 

“Well, if I looked like you I wouldn’t hate my body,” Dan replied with a chuckle.

 

“Nor would I had, had I looked like you,” Phil agreed. “That’s the thing, we judge ourselves more harshly than anyone else. Maybe you’re just not your type,” Phil replied.

 

“Yeah, guess I’m not,” Dan agreed with a laugh. “I see what you’re saying though, I’ll work on it.”

 

“Good,” Phil replied, his smile returning. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about,” he added, noting the red on Dan’s cheeks and chest.

 

Dan chuckled. “So does that mean I can take these off?” he asked playing with the band of his boxers. Again just wanting it over with. But also not being as scared as he thought he’d be. Phil’s calming nature making him also feel calmer.

 

“If you’d like,” Phil replied, returning to his place on the bed.

 

Dan looked at him once more, seeing his soft smile and feeling relaxed. He pulled the boxers down and off quickly, moving to cover himself. “Be honest? Is this the weirdest thing anyone you hired has ever done?” Dan asked, trying to make himself more comfortable by joking around.

 

Phil shook his head no. “Definitely not,” he replied. He watched him brunette for a moment longer, taking in as much of him as he could, before standing up and going over to him again. “You really are absolutely gorgeous, I’m sure everyone will want to work with you,” Phil mused. Dan tensed, he hadn’t thought much about working with anyone besides the man standing in front of him. Phil put his hand on his arm and smiled. “Only if you want to though.”

 

Dan smiled. “This is actually oddly liberating,” he said with a laugh. His anxiety going away and bringing his brain back to the reality of the situation. 

 

Phil laughed as well. “I told you,” he said with a grin. “It helped me a lot, hopefully it can do the same for you.”

 

“I’d like to try and see,” Dan replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really enjoying writing this, but I also feel like it's really weird and I don't know why I'm doing it XD


	4. Chapter 4

Phil had discussed with Dan more about the process of how things were filmed at SCC and told him to go home and let him know when he wanted to plan a film session. So with a little more confidence and subtle excitement, he did just that. He waited two days, so he seemed a bit less eager and texted Phil.

Dan: Hey, It’s Dan. I’m free most of the week so I was wondering what would be a good day for you.

Phil: Let me check.  
Phil: I am not needed for any shoots tomorrow if you’d be ready that soon.

Dan: Yeah, that works for me. Should I do anything first?”

Phil: No, everything can be done here.  
Phil: Actually, yes.

Dan: What should I do?

Phil: Do you have a full length mirror?

Dan: Yes….  
Dan: Why?

Phil: Go stand in front of it and list five things you love about yourself out loud.

Dan:…….  
Dan: You’ve got to be joking.

Phil: Nope, serious as can be.  
Phil: Just do it for me, yeah?

Dan: You’re the boss.

Phil: We’re coworkers, not boss and employee.

Dan: So I don’t have to do it then?

Phil: Of course not, but I’d like you to.

 

Dan sighed, rolling his eyes and chuckling to himself. If he wanted, he could just lie and say he did it, but instead he got up off the sofa and walked over to his mirror. He looked at himself and shrugged. Phil had said to list things he loved, but he settled for things he at least somewhat liked for now. “I like my hair, when it’s straight…” Dan laughed, playing with the curls that were about as straight as he was. “I like my fashion sense… Does that count? Yeah sure, it counts.” 

 

He spun around and looked into his own eyes reflected back at him. “I like my eyes, I guess, though they’re not like Phil’s.” He scanned his body again and sighed. “This is stupid,” he said to himself, returning the to couch and seeing another text from Phil.

 

Phil: I can list five, if you can’t.  
Dan laughed, as much as he wanted to ask Phil to do it, he also knew that wasn’t really the point.

 

Dan: I got three, does that work?

Phil: It’s a start :)   
Phil: If you ever need help thinking of some let me know.

Dan: I’ll keep that in mind.  
Dan: What time should I come in tomorrow?

Phil: Anytime between 10AM and 5PM works for me. We can do a trial shoot and keep it short. It shouldn’t take more than an hour at most but if you could be here a bit earlier so we can go over everything first that would be great.

Dan: Okay, I’ll be by around 1:00.

Phil: Perfect, see you tomorrow :)   
Phil: Oh, and I don’t keep much in the way of wardrobe here, so wear whatever you’d like to film in.

Dan: Got it. See you tomorrow ^^ 

 

Dan got dropped off at the coffee shop again, but this time it wasn’t because he was embarrassed, it was because he wanted to bring Phil the drink he liked. He got himself a tea along with it and walked down the street to the SCC building. “Hey Cynthia,” Dan said with a smile.

 

“Welcome back Mr. Howell,” she replied. “Mr. Lester is expecting you in his office so you can speak before the shoot.”

 

“Okay. Can I just head back?” Dan asked.

 

“Yes, you know where it is,” she answered. “Let me know if you need anything.”

 

“Will do,” Dan replied with a quick nod, heading off down the hall. The door to Phil’s office was closed, so he knocked lightly, careful not to spill the drinks in each hand. “It’s me,” he said. The door slid open a couple seconds later, Phil’s brilliant blue eyes meeting his own. “I got this for you,” Dan said, passing him the hot chocolate. “To make up for last time,” he added.

 

Phil laughed, taking the cup. “Thank you, but you didn’t have to make up for it,” he assured. “Come sit,” he added, taking a seat down on the couch.

 

Dan chose to sit down beside him instead of opposite him. “I guess I should get used to being closer to you,” he said with a chuckle.

 

Phil smiled. “Are you still feeling good about everything?” he asked, taking a sip from the cup and letting out a contented sigh.

 

“Yeah, I trust you,” Dan replied. “Don’t know if I trust my ability to turn someone on, but there’s no harm in trying.”

 

“Don’t worry about anyone else, just focus on your own pleasure,” Phil said. “Do you want to do something scripted? Or are you okay with just making it up as we go?”

 

“I hate cringey porn writing,” Dan said with a laugh. “No offence,” he added quickly. “I’d rather just make it up as we go.”

 

Phil laughed along with him. “No offence taken, I’m not a fan of it either,” he agreed. “I was thinking he would keep things quite simple and just test the waters, we can cut around anything that doesn’t work.” Dan nodded. “Why don’t we move to the filming room so you can meet the camera man.”

 

“Okay,” Dan replied. They both got up and walked down the hall to the white room they’d been in together last time. “We’re filming in here?” Dan asked.

 

“That was plan, assuming it’s alright with you,” Phil answered. “I think you’d look incredible against all the white.”

 

Dan blushed. “Yeah it’s fine,” he said quietly. 

 

Phil hit a little button the night side table. “This button calls Cynthia,” he explained. “It’s here for if you need anything during a shoot, like water, or if we run out of lube or condoms. But you can also hit it if you feel unsafe and she’ll come make sure everything is okay.”

 

Dan nodded, listening as Phil explained. “Alright,” he replied. “She seems to do a lot around here,” he mused.

 

“She’s an angel, honestly, if I was into women I would marry her,” Phil replied with a laugh.

 

“If I was in to men I might just say yes.” Cynthia entered into the room with a chuckle. “What do you need?” she asked.

 

“Can you go get PJ please?” Phil asked, not wanting to leave Dan alone since he didn’t know this room as well and could possibly be nervous to be there alone.

 

“Sure thing, I’ll send him over,” she answered. Exiting the room again.

 

Dan took a seat down on the bed and smiled when Phil sat down beside him. “You look very good by the way,” Phil said, looking at him. “I like what you chose, it suits you.”

 

Dan laughed. “It’s black on black, what I always wear.”

 

“Well, it looks good,” Phil insisted, reaching over and pushing Dan’s fringe from his face. “Have you thought of a name yet?”

 

“I was thinking of Daniel DreamX,” Dan said, feeling silly saying it out loud.

 

Phil beamed at him. “Perfect, you are very dreamy.” Dan blushed, but before he could respond another man entered into the room, the cameraman Dan assumed by the large camera in his hand. He was also quite tall and had cute glasses and curly hair. 

 

“Hey, you must be Dan,” he said, putting out his hand. “I’m PJ.” Dan shook his hand despite not liking handshakes, he knew it was just to be friendly.  
“PJ is the only other person that will be in the room with us unless you choose to have someone else,” Phil said. “He is very kind and gentle and sees this as a form of art, not a voyeuristic thing,” he added.

 

Dan laughed. “That is oddly comforting.”

 

PJ smiled. “I promise I’m only here to be of help, no judgement, no creeping. I’ll try to be as out of the way as possible so you can forget I’m here. I won’t give cues or try and change angles or anything,” he explained.

 

“That being said, if you are more interested in doing a voyeuristic shoot you can look at the camera and talk to the viewers,” Phil added. “But if I recall correctly that is not one of your kinks.”

 

“Definitely not,” Dan replied. “I’d much rather try to forget it is there all together. No offence, you seem like a nice guy.”

 

PJ laughed. “None taken,” he replied. “I get a bit uncomfortable with people looking into the camera myself,” he added with a chuckle. Dan nodded, he could only imagine how awkward it could be to film that kind of porn.

 

Phil tipped his cup of hot chocolate, downing it before throwing the paper cup into the waste bin. “You ready to get into it?” he asked, his attention on Dan.

 

Dan flushed, he hadn’t really thought about how this stuff started. “I guess so,” he replied.

 

“PJ, let me know when you have the equipment set up,” Phil said. PJ nodded and focused his full attention on the camera and setting it to work right in the white room. “Dan, ‘I guess’ isn’t enough,” Phil said gently. “If you’re not ready that is completely fine, but I need to be sure before I will do anything.”

 

Dan nodded, he understood but he wished they could just get the start over with. Dan leaned in close to Phil, but quickly pulled back. “I should go brush my teeth, cause I smell like green tea,” he said with a laugh. “Is there a place to do that?”

 

“Yes, there is a bathroom right across the hall with brand new brushes and everything else you will need,” Phil replied.

 

“Be right back,” Dan got up and headed out of the room, quickly finding the decently sized bathroom. He decided to pee before filming, not risking needing to in the middle and then washed up quickly and brushed his teeth. He returned to the room a couple minutes later and saw Phil lounging on the the bed talking to PJ. Phil looked up when he entered the room. “Can I close this?” Dan asked, motioning to the door.

 

“Yes, of course,” Phil replied. “I’m not worried about anything you could do to me,” he teased.

 

Dan smirked. “Oh, you don’t even know what I could do to you,” he replied, matching Phil’s teasing tone. He walked over to the bed and leaned down, his lips close to Phil’s. “Can I?” he asked softly. Phil leaned in the rest of the way till there lips met. Soft lips moving against slight anxiety bitten ones. After a quick moment they pulled apart. “Yeah, okay, definitely ready,” Dan said.

 

Phil laughed. “Good, get on the bed,” he replied. “Color system. Call red as much as you like and we will cut around it. If I find out you wanted to safeword out and didn’t, we will be done working together. Understand?”

 

“Yes, I understand and agree to the terms,” Dan responded with a smile.

 

“Perfect,” Phil replied. “You can talk as much or as little as you want, just be true to you. And let me know when you do, or don’t, like something, it makes the process so much easier.”

 

“Okay,” Dan agreed. “Will you do the same?” he questioned, climbing onto the bed and looking up at Phil who was now standing in front of the bed.

 

“Of course,” Phil replied. 

 

“Everything’s good here,” PJ said, letting Phil know the camera was up and running.

 

Dan and Phil looked at each other, nodded, and smiled. “Scene start,” Phil announced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should state here that Cynthia is a character made up for this story and not based on anyone. PJ Is my OOC kickthePJ though XD
> 
> Also I want to thank the people reading doe being supportive of this story so far! This is the only fic I've written so far that I fully didn't intend to post. I only posted it so my friend could read it, but the support has been really nice! ^^
> 
> Thanks <3


	5. Chapter 5

Phil could see the nervous expression creeping onto Dan’s face, he bit his lip as he looked to the older male for guidance. “Don’t worry darling, I’ll be gentle,” Phil assured, leaning over Dan, who was sitting up on his knees on the bed. Phil kissed his neck first, listening to the puff of air Dan let out. Phil smirked against his skin, pleased to find he was so sensitive there. He put his hand on the youngers cheek, their lips meeting in a heated kiss.

 

Their lips moved together, tongues joining in and making Dan feel a heat he hadn’t felt in quite a while. Phil was clearly very experienced with his mouth and it made Dan think about how experienced he must be in other ways. “You’re really good at that,” he mumbled quietly when they pulled apart, his breath already uneven.

 

Phil gave him a soft smile. “Oh sweetheart, I assure you I am better at other things,” he replied with a light smirk, pressing their lips together again in a chaste kiss. 

 

Dan pulled on the collar of Phil’s button up shirt, wiping the smirk off his face as their lips met again, pulling him down so he had some of the control. Phil leaned over him, pushing him with one hand so he fell back on the bed, the older male climbing on top. He held his weight off of him, holding himself up on his elbows, their faces inches apart. “Gosh you’re pretty,” Phil mused. He leaned down and placed a quick kiss on the tip of the youngers’ nose. 

 

Dan blushed, looking up at him with wide eyes. He wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him back into a heated kiss. It was easy to kiss Phil, they fit together perfectly and Dan quickly forgot that PJ was even there, just letting himself get lost in the moment he was getting to share with this gorgeous man. In the back of his mind he knew what it was though, he wasn’t delusional enough to think this was a real thing with feelings involved.

 

Phil tried to hold back a laugh at the cute way Dan grabbed at him, it was oddly adorable, and perfect for the character he had imagined Dan would play in his mind. Almost innocent, yet also extremely handsy. His laugh was quickly forgotten though as Dan kissed him and he lost himself for just a second in the way the other man felt. He felt Dan trying to undo the buttons on his shirt, feeling around and slowly but surely getting them undone without separating their mouths for more then a few seconds to breath on occasion.

 

As soon as the shirt fell open, Dan’s hands were on Phil’s body, running down his sides, then back up his chest. He could feel the light chest hair and his hardening nipples and pulled away, wanting to look and see with his eyes, what his hands were currently exploring. He wasn’t at all subtle in the way he eyed Phil’s body. “You’re really hot,” he stated, his hands still on the other.

 

Phil sat back on his knees to allow Dan’s hands to roam freely. “You think so?” he asked, seemingly genuinely curious, though Dan couldn’t tell anymore what was actually Phil and what was for the camera.

 

Dan hummed a yes, pushing the shirt off Phil’s shoulders. He leaned in, placing kisses down his neck, across his shoulders and down his chest. He’d forgotten to ask Phil if he had sensitive nipples or not, so he took a chance and mouthed at one, gently biting with lip covered teeth. He heard Phil’s breath hitch but he wasn’t sure if that was a good sign or one of pain. He felt worry for a second but trusted Phil would tell him if it was pain and let it go. He kept his mouth traveling downwards, kissing his stomach and lightly defined abs. He looked up at Phil when he reached the denim of his jeans.

 

Phil smiled at him, placing his hand behind the youngers head and bringing his face up for a soft kiss. “I love how eager you are, but I think this needs to come off first, wouldn’t you agree?” he asked, pulling at the hem of Dan’s black jumper. 

 

Dan did agree. He was getting much to hot and bothered to be wearing a knit jumper. He nodded. “Yeah, want to feel your skin against mine,” he replied, kissing him again. It was hard to be this close to his face and not feel the desire to kiss him. Especially now that he knew how it felt.

 

Phil pulled the jumper up and over his head quickly, their mouths meeting again as he pulled it the rest of the way off, freeing Dan’s arms which quickly found their way back around Phil’s neck. Phil hooked his arms under Dan’s hips and pulled him up onto his lap, wrapping his arms snuggly around the other to hold him in place. Dan let out a gasp as he felt himself be lifted, but he wouldn’t complain, they were now chest to chest and skin on skin. Exactly what he’d asked for. 

 

Dan swore he could feel signs of Phil being hard, but he doubted that. Surely someone with this as their profession wouldn’t be able to be aroused that easily. He did wonder though if Phil could feel that he himself was definitely aroused, far past just slightly turned on. Phil put his hand on Dan’s hardening cock, pressing on it through the layer of denim and cotton. Dan moaned out, not expecting it.

 

Phil chuckled and pulled back kissing his forehead. “Looks like someone needs something,” Phil mused. “Care to tell me what you need baby?” he asked, looking at Dan with a soft expression.

 

Dan felt his cheeks heat up. He hid his face in Phil’s neck. “Don’t make me say it,” he said, hoping Phil would let him off the hook. He had a slight humiliation kink, but he couldn’t decide if it was too much or not enough.

 

Phil chuckled. “Okay,” he agreed, running his hand though Dan’s hair comfortingly. He pressed his mouth to Dan’s ear speaking low enough that only he’d be able to hear. “Sorry, too far?” he whispered. Dan could hear the concern, could almost hear Phil calling cut.

 

“No, not really,” Dan whispered back. Kissing nibbling on Phil’s ear to cover to action. “Want you so bad,” he said louder, meeting Phil’s eyes.

 

Phil smiled at him, pecking his lips again. He adjusted them so that Dan was laying on the bed again. Lightly tanned skin looking radiant against the white duvet cover. Phil returned to the younger’s neck, kissing softly, then biting gently. He’d discussed with Dan in advance how he felt about bite marks and hickeys and Dan had assured him it was fine. He felt Dan’s fingers tighten in his hair and he bit harder making the other groan. “You make the most beautiful noises,” Phil said, lifting his head just enough for their eyes to meet. 

 

Dan pulled him up roughly, smashing their mouths together again in a wet needy kiss. “Pretty sure you can get me to make a lot more,” Dan replied, hungry eyes staring into Phil’s still calm ones. Phil grinned, determined to do just that. He moved to Dan’s obscene collarbone, running his tongue along the deep grove and kissing around the solid bone. He placed his hand on Dan’s chest and felt his heart beating fast and hard. He leaned up again and whispered in ear. “Calm down, breath.”

 

Dan took a deep breath and smiled, he hadn’t realized he’d been holding his breath. He moved his hands from Phil’s hair down his back, clawing very gently at his skin as he moved down. He slid his hands under Phil’s jeans, rubbing the globes of his firm arse. Phil took that as a hint to keep things moving and ducked his head down to kiss down Dan’s stomach, stopping to nip at the slight bit of chub in his mid section. He took the button of Dan’s tight black skinny jeans in his mouth and looked through his lashes at the younger male. “Please,” Dan muttered out, Phil’s chin was pressing against his cock that was already feeling restrained inside his pants and he was not above begging at this point. 

 

Phil smiled softly, lacing the fingers of one hand with one of Dan’s, rubbing his thumb along his knuckles to keep him grounded. It took a few tries, but he got the button open with his tongue and slid the zipper down with his teeth. Keeping his eyes locked onto Dan’s as he went. Phil paused for just a second and smirked at the pout that quickly formed on Dan’s lips. He really was perfection, a beauty made for the camera. 

 

“Stop being a tease,” Dan pleaded, gripping the hand not locked with Phil’s into the other’s dark hair, trying to encourage him to do something. At this point Dan would be fine with anything, he just needed.

 

“I suppose you’ve been patient enough,” Phil replied with a teasing tone, quickly leaning up to kiss him once more. Dan’s kisses were getting progressively more desperate and Phil would admit he loved it. He loved knowing that he was bringing such pleasure to the beautiful creature below him. When Phil pulled away again, Dan’s mouth chased him and he chuckled lightly.

 

Dan reached his hand down, gently cupping Phil’s crotch, he was definitely half hard, but Dan doubted he was fully erect, meaning he’d have to do a bit of work before they could get to the part Dan desperately needed. He wasn’t sure how to ask it though, not when in front of a camera. Surely just asking ‘Can I blow you?’ wasn’t really appropriate for the scene. He grinded his hand against Phil. Taking the other hand that was locked with Phil’s and bringing it to his mouth, sucking on both his and Phil’s fingers, looking at Phil with wide eyes hoping he’d get the hint and take the lead.

 

The glint in Phil’s eyes assured Dan that he understood where he was trying to take things. “Think you can make better use of that pretty mouth?” Phil asked, watching intently the way his fingers slid past Dan’s lips.

 

Dan grinned internally, it not really showing on his face since his mouth was occupied. He slipped the fingers from his mouth, ignoring the trail of saliva left behind. “For you?” Dan questioned innocently. “Of course,” he added.

Phil smiled wide and laid down on the bed beside Dan, back resting against the headboard. Dan got up, moving to sit on top of Phil’s legs. Phil hooked his finger under his chin and brought their mouth together again. He kissed his jaw, whispering to him again. “Good boy,” he said quietly, clearly having remembered Dan’s praise kink. Dan flushed, hearing those words from Phil was a new kink all of it’s own.

 

Phil moved his hand to cover their mouths from camera for a moment. “Condom?” he asked low enough for only Dan’s ears. Dan subtly shook his head no and Phil nodded. Dan kissed him once more before sitting back on his knees and working open Phil’s jeans. Dan climbed off him to pull the denims off his legs and over his feet, tossing them on the floor. “Yours to,” Phil said. Dan quickly did the same for himself adding to the pile of clothing on the floor, before returning to Phil. 

 

He leaned down and pressed his mouth to the fabric of Phil’s boxers, feeling the heat radiating through them. He felt a bit self conscious of the angle, wondering how he’d look on camera but relaxed when he felt Phil’s hand in his now slightly curly hair. He mouthed at Phil’s length through the thin fabric, eyes focused on Phil’s. His tongue ran the length as well, leaving a wet trail of quite a decent size. Dan was curious if Phil had what he’d always considered a porn star dick, far too long and thick to be reasonable for the average person to expect. 

 

Dan found out pretty quickly that Phil was at that unrealistic yet possible size and flushed. He pulled his boxers down slowly and watched as Phil’s cock became unrestrained. “Woah,” he muttered quiet enough that he hoped the mic wouldn’t pic it up. He leaned up kissing Phil again. “Could’ve warned me,” he teased, voice whisper quiet. 

 

“Do you want to stop?” Phil asked seriously, his voice matching Dan’s level of volume.

 

“No, just might need a bit more prep,” Dan replied, jacking Phil slowly with his hand.

 

“Of course. Don’t worry, I’ll be really slow, promise,” Phil assured. 

 

Dan smiled and pecked his lips again. “Trust you,” he said softly, before pulling away and bringing his attention back to the now exposed and fully hard cock in his hand. Phil reached over to the side table and put a bottle of lube on the bed near Dan, leaving his options open. 

 

Dan smirked pushing it away and taking Phil’s member into his mouth, he sucked on the tip slowly, getting used to the taste and feel of the soft heat. He hummed as the got used to it, pulling off and kissing up and down the length. He had always enjoyed giving head, maybe a tad more than the average person, but his partner’s never complained and Phil was definitely not complaining either. He tightened his grip in Dan’s hair, though didn’t try to guide him, he just needed something to so he didn’t lose his metaphorical footing.

 

Gaining his composer back, Phil tapped Dan’s cheek lightly, causing the younger to release him and look up. “Can you take off your boxers and turn around for me baby?” he asked, gesturing Dan to spin with his hand. 

 

Dan nodded and got up, quickly removing his boxers and getting adjusted so he was facing away from Phil, feeling a bit uncomfortable with Phil being that close to such a private part of his body, but he tried to relax, focusing instead on Phil’s cock. He wrapped his lips tightly around the head and worked on slowly bobbing up and down. He heard the lube bottle click open and felt himself twitch, body already bracing for the cold gel. He flinched when he felt warmth instead, his sex fogged brain thinking Phil had heated lube before he realised that was most definitely a tongue. He pulled off Phil quickly. “Red!” he called, pulling away from Phil’s mouth.

 

“Cut,” Phil said to PJ, watching as he put the camera down. “Are you okay Dan?” Phil asked, rushing his words and bending awkwardly so he could see Dan’s face.

 

Dan nodded. Taking a breath. “Sorry,” he said quietly. 

 

“Don’t be,” Phil assured running a hand down his back. “Just tell me what’s going on?”

 

“I’ve never had someone do that,” Dan explained.

 

Phil looked confused for a second before realization flashed across his face. “Oh my gosh, Dan I am so sorry, I just assumed it was okay,” Phil put his arms around him from behind, placing his head on Dan’s shoulder. “I’m truly sorry, I should have asked,”

 

Dan shook his head. “It’s okay, it’s just new and I’m not really comfortable with it,” Dan replied. “Is that okay?”

 

Phil nuzzled into his neck. “Of course it’s okay, geez Dan, you know I wasn’t trying to push you, right?”

 

“Yeah, I know,” Dan assured with a smile. “Just don’t want my first time experiencing that to be on camera,” he added with a chuckle.

 

Phil nodded. “Completely understood. Do you want to stop?” he asked, voice calm and questioning, no anger or annoyance behind it.

 

Dan felt comfort in the way Phil spoke. “No, definitely not, unless I completely killed the mood,” he replied. Laughing because it was so typical of him to get so in his head that he ruined things.

 

Phil laughed with him. “You could never,” he replied. “PJ?” he asked, turning his head to the cameraman that was sitting in a chair in the corner waiting to make sure everything was okay. He looked up and Phil spoke again. “You good to continue?”

 

“Yeah, as long as Dan’s alright,” PJ replied. “You good?” he asked gently, approaching Dan.

 

Dan smiled, not feeling all that embarrassed about the fact that he was naked because the others weren’t making it seem like something to be embarrassed about. “Yeah, I’m good, thanks for checking with me,” he replied. PJ nodded.

 

“Roll tape,” Phil said teasingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was super hard to start, how does one start porn? Like actually porn must have a start but like I don't know what it is... >.< So yeah that was why this took awhile haha. I decided to break it into two pieces because it was going to be really long and also because it's my friends birthday and I wanted to at least have a chapter up for her. (Weird thing to do for a birthday I know ^^; Don't judge me.... >.>)
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway thanks for reading! I have been getting a lot of support for this series and it means a lot to me, I appreciate you all so much <3
> 
> Oh and as always I am still rusty with smut stuff so feel free to offer advice in the comments!


	6. Chapter 6

PJ helped them get back into a similar enough position that he could make it look like there wasn’t a cut, and they continued. Dan playing with Phil’s cock in his mouth and Phil slowly pressing a lubed finger inside of Dan, rubbing his back comfortingly as he got used to the pressure.

 

A few minutes past of them both working on their goal. Dan’s goal was to deepthroat Phil, though he was starting to doubt the possibility of that without practice. Sheer willpower could only get you so far. And for Phil, his goal was to carefully prep Dan to an extent that there wouldn’t be pain. Phil moved the three fingers he had inside Dan around, testing. “Think you’re ready, baby?” he asked gently.

 

Dan pulled off with a wet pop, his mouth staying connected to Phil by a string of saliva until it broke. “Yeah,” Dan answered. “How do you want me?” he asked, quite open to any position that involved Phil finally getting inside him.

 

“Back, or hands and knees. Whichever you want,” Phil replied, smacking Dan’s butt teasingly. Dan decided Phil was a better view then the duvet and climbed off him, laying down on his back, feet flat against the bed and knees up, his body automatically getting into a position to protect his modesty even though he was currently having sex for the sake of porn.

 

Phil smiled, adjusting himself on top of Dan. “Glad you picked this way, I want to watch your face as you come undone,” he said, kissing Dan, open mouthed and messy, neither of them caring about maintaining a clean look at the point.

 

Dan blushed. He’d never really seen what he looked like mid orgasm and he was suddenly very aware of PJ and the camera again. In between kisses he spoke quietly to Phil. “What if my O face is weird?” he questioned. 

 

Phil did his best to suppress a laugh, mouthing at Dan’s shoulder to cover it up. “It won’t be,” he assured. “But also if you don’t like the end result we dump it,” he added, reminding Dan again why he felt comfortable here. Their lips met again and Dan smiled into the kiss. “You ready?” Phil asked.

 

“God yes,” Dan replied with an excited expression. Phil grinned at him while reaching for the condoms. He ripped one open with his teeth and carefully worked it over his cock, which was still very hard thanks to the gorgeous man looking up at him, naked and sprawled out on the bed. Phil felt almost flustered, it had been awhile since he’d been with someone who looked at him the way Dan did. Especially someone who wasn’t playing it up for the camera. He knew if his confidence slipped that Dan would get insecure, so he did his best to hide his bit of nervousness.

 

He pressed his fingers against Dan’s rim, pushing in just enough to make sure everything still felt right before he lined himself up. His eyes met Dan’s and he reached up putting his other hand on Dan’s cheek. “You sure, baby?” he asked.

 

Dan tilted his head so he could kiss Phil’s wrist. “Yes,” he replied, pulling Phil’s hand closer to his mouth to play with his fingers.

 

Phil lined himself up carefully before placing his hand on Dan’s waist. He pushed in as slowly as he could manage, watching the younger’s face for signs of discomfort or pain. He heard little noises and puffs of air fall from Dan’s lips, but by the way his eyes were closed calmly, he assumed it wasn’t from pain. He’d have to trust in the fact that Dan would tell him if it hurt. 

 

After Phil was fully inside, Dan let out a moan. He reached his arms up automatically, like a child wanting to be picked up and Phil quickly leaned down wrapping his arms around his waist and feeling Dan’s arms lock around his neck. “Fuck…” Dan muttered.

 

“Good or bad?” Phil asked, kissing his chest.

 

“So good,” Dan replied. “Amazing actually,” he added with a smirk. Phil chuckled and bit his shoulder lightly. “You can move,” Dan said after a moment. Phil pulled back just a bit so he could see Dan’s face, but not enough to knock the youngers hands off him. He pulled out slowly and pushed back in at the same pace. Hearing Dan whimper and moan again made him feel a lot more confident. He repeated the movements, speeding up as he went and as Dan continued egging him on with his beautiful noises. 

 

As he’d promised his noises did become louder and almost constant as Phil fucked him fast. He gripped into Phil’s hair tightly, biting his lip to keep some of his noises in. He was loud in bed and he knew it, a past partner making him feel very insecure about it. “You don’t have to try and be quiet, baby,” Phil reminded, kissing him again. “Make all the noise you want.”

 

Dan flushed, be he had to admit that was exactly what he wanted to hear. He let out a loud moan as Phil bit his neck while shoving into him. “Fuck, you’re so good,” he said, reaching down to stroke himself a few times to relieve some of the pressure.

 

Phil kissed him again, messy, uncoordinated but great all the same. “You’re so perfect baby, so good,” Phil said sweetly, kissing his cheek, then his forehead. “Such a good baby boy,” he said quieter, only to Dan. Dan felt himself flush, Phil knowing his kinks really did make this experience a hell of a lot better. He wasn’t sure if Phil was being honest, doing it for the camera, or just to get Dan off but whatever the reason, Dan wasn’t complaining. 

 

Phil replaced Dan’s hand with his own, working it in time with his trusts and making Dan almost scream. “I’m gonna come,” Dan said, remembering hearing people announce that in porn he’d watched. 

 

“Me too,” Phil said, looking down and smiling at him. His hair was mostly back to it’s curled state, tussled and mussed from Phil’s hands. He was flushed and covered in a thin sheen of sweat. His lips were red and prominent from the kissing and the blow job. Even with all that Phil could only think of one word when he looked at him. Perfection, in every way he was perfection. He kissed him again, suddenly needing Dan like he was air and Phil was suffocating. 

 

Phil felt Dan tense and felt the warm sticky liquid run over his hand. Dan cursing out, though it was muffled by their kisses. He looked up and saw Dan’s face, scrunched up for a second before his eyes became soft and he got that blissed out post sex look. Phil, being a pornstar and having done this many times, was not at all affected by that face. At least, that is what he’d tell himself later, but right now he was pulling out and quickly jerking himself off over Dan’s stomach. He leaned down whispering in his ear. “Is this okay?”

 

Dan smiled at him, eyes only half open. “Go for it,” he replied, cupping Phil’s face gently and kissing him, soft and sweet. For a split second Phil felt something besides with sex, but it was replaced by the feeling of his climax hitting him. He came across Dan’s stomach and chest with a loud groan. Resting his head on Dan’s shoulder as he came down from his high. Dan kissed his neck, his cheek, his shoulder, any part of Phil that he could reach without jostling the other. 

 

Phil took a deep breath and lifted his head, kissing Dan’s lips again, soft and chaste. “Have fun?” he asked, cheeky grin on his face.

 

“Yeah,” Dan replied, running his hand through his hair, blue eyes meeting brown and staring openly at each other. They kissed once more, before Phil pulled back and sat up. “Cut,” he said, looking to PJ, who nodded. 

 

Dan continued to stare at him for a moment longer before moving to get up himself. “Don’t move, I’ll get a cloth to clean you up,” Phil said, getting up off the bed and tossing on a robe. “You okay being here with PJ for a minute?” he asked.

 

Dan nodded. “Yeah,” he answered. Phil smiled and headed out the door to the bathroom across the hall. Dan looked to PJ and flushed. “So… um…” He wasn’t actually sure how to talk to a person who just watched him have sex.

 

PJ laughed. “Awkward, yeah?” he asked. Dan laughed and nodded. “It gets less weird over time, I used to find it really uncomfortable and wouldn’t talk to the models much.”

 

“Understandable,” Dan agreed, lifting his legs to cover himself again. He hadn’t realized he’d dropped them at some point. 

 

“You did good by the way,” PJ said. He said it like he was telling someone they got an A in maths and not at all like he was discussing sex. He passed Dan a bottle of water. “You should hydrate,”

 

“Thanks,” Dan said with a smile, taking the bottle and opening it to chug some. “And thanks for filming and not making it weird.”

 

“No problem,” PJ replied. “I’m going to go look over this and do a rough edit. You okay being alone till Phil get’s back?”

 

“Yeah, I’m good,” Dan replied, sipping at the water. 

 

PJ smiled and nodded. “Hope I’ll be seeing more of you,” he said with a wave, exiting the room. He was careful to open the door only enough to slid out, making sure that no one could look in and see Dan.

 

Only a second after the door closed, it opened again and Phil entered. “Sorry about that, Cynthia had a question.” He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. 

 

“It’s fine,” Dan replied. “PJ is nice,” he added. Phil nodded.

 

“Do you mind if I clean you?” Phil asked, being sure before touching Dan. Touching off camera was a totally different thing then touching when filming.

 

Dan shook his head no. “I don’t mind,” he said, watching and feeling a tad embarrassed as Phil wiped off his stomach. He sipped at his water and sighed.

 

“You tired?” Phil asked, moving the cloth down between his legs and being extremely gentle.

 

“A little bit,” Dan admitted. Watching as Phil threw the cloth in a laundry basket in the corner of the room. “Also a bit overwhelmed.”

 

“Anything we need to talk about?” Phil asked. Crossing his legs and resting his head in his hands, attention fully on the younger. Dan sat up and tried to cover himself. Phil chuckled and got up again passing him another robe. “Here.” Phil smiled at him then turned away, giving him a second to stand and dress. Dan couldn’t help but giggle at the gesture since they’d been fucking minutes ago.

 

Dan got comfy on the bed and Phil sat down beside him again. “So?” he questioned, returning to his previous question.

 

“No, I don’t think so,” Dan replied. “I have no complaints,” he added.

 

Phil laughed. “Well I appreciate that. But I meant more so on an emotional level. Like, how do you feel?”

 

“Ten out of ten, would bang again,” Dan replied with a laugh, which Phil joined in on, rolling his eyes teasingly, but also blushing a bit. “Seriously though, I feel good.” Dan answered.

 

“I’m glad to hear that,” Phil replied. “After PJ does the rough edit, we can go over it together and you can decide if you feel okay about it.”

 

Dan nodded. “Sounds good,” he replied. “I guess I should get dressed and get out,” he added with a chuckle, looking on the floor for his clothes.

“Up to you,” Phil replied. “I always give the models at least a couple hours in the room in case they want to nap afterwards.”

 

“Really?” Dan asked, a bit surprised.

 

“Yeah, sex can be tiring,” Phil replied, nodding.

 

“I don’t find it tiring, it’s more like I feel calm and my brain can stop overthinking for a few hours and let me sleep,” Dan replied. “Can I get in the bed?”

 

“Of course, I clean the bedding after every shoot,” Phil replied. “Can we talk for one more minute before I leave you to rest?”

 

Dan nodded. “Sure, what’s up?”

 

“I just wanted to say I am sorry again for earlier,” Phil said, looking down. 

 

Dan thought for a second, trying to think about why he’d be sorry. “You mean the rimming thing?” he asked. Phil nodded. “Phil, I am over that, it’s not a big deal,” Dan assured. “It’s not like it hurt me, if anything it felt nice. I’m just a bit embarrassed by it.”

 

Phil nodded in understanding. “I know; I just feel bad about it.”

 

“Don’t,” Dan replied with a soft smile. “You made me feel great, focus on that.”

 

Phil laughed. “I’ll try,” he replied. “I also have no complaints. Just, for the record.”

 

Dan smirked, feeling proud. “I could improve my performance, but I’ll work on it,” he replied with a shrug.

 

“You did great, don’t stress yourself,” Phil responded, getting a water bottle for himself and taking a sip. Dan nodded but he didn’t fully agree. He wanted to work on being able to deepthroat Phil, assuming they ever did this again. 

 

“I’ll let you sleep,” Phil said, getting up the bed. “You can lock the door if you want, but no one should bother you either way.”

 

“It’s fine, just close it,” Dan replied. 

 

“Lights off?” Phil asked. Dan grunted a yes and Phil flicked the light switch. “Come see me before you leave.” Again Dan made a noise of agreement and Phil chuckled to himself. “Sleep well,” he said quietly before exiting the room and softly closing the door behind himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got through the first porn scene! This is an accomplishment for me since I still don't really get porn at all ^^; Though I've been trying to research the industry some and have now discovered some pornstars who seem really nice and may make appearances in this story haha. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading! :D  
> Also yes I did change the total chapter number count because I can't keep anything short, I have tried and failed many times XD


	7. Chapter 7

Dan groaned, groggily waking from his comfortable sleep. He was dazed, looking around the dark unfamiliar room, remembering he’d fallen asleep in the filming room. “What time is it.” He felt around on the side table trying to find his phone, picking it up and bringing it to his face to check the time. It was a little after 5:00, he was surprised he’d slept that long, but he did need it, not always sleeping the best in his empty apartment, often nervous from the dark and the fear of things he didn’t even believe in.

 

He heard a knock on the door. “Coming in.” It was Cynthia’s voice. She opened the door and poked her head inside. “You called?”

 

Dan sat up, scrunching his eyes shut when she turned the lights on. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to,” he replied. “I was reaching for my phone; I didn’t remember there was a button.”

 

Cynthia laughed. “No problem,” she responded with a kind smile. “Can I get you anything, since I’m here anyway?”

“No, I’m good. I’m going to get dressed and go see Phil before I head out,” Dan answered, getting up and looking around for his clothes.

 

“Alright, Mr. Lester is in his office.” Cynthia turned and headed back out of the room and down the hall. Dan found his clothes and quickly pulled them on, not caring that he looked dishevelled and thoroughly fucked. He left the robe on the bed and headed out of the bedroom and towards Phil’s office, knocking lightly on the closed door when he reached it. 

 

The door slid open and he was met with a smiling Phil, back in his glasses and casual clothing. “Did you have a good rest?” he asked, stepping aside so Dan could join him.

 

“Yeah, I haven’t slept that good in quite some time,” Dan replied, entering into the small room and dropping down on one of the sofas, he realized how casual he was being and sat up, fixing his posture.

 

Phil looked at him and giggled. “You can relax Dan, you’re off work,” he said, taking a seat across from the other. 

 

“Right, sorry, habit to try and look put together in front of the boss,” Dan responded, letting himself slip back into a more comfortable sitting position.

 

Phil chuckled. “I can’t say you look the most put together, but you certainly look cute,” he mused, leaning over to play with one of Dan’s curls.

 

Dan looked up, forgetting his hair was completely back to it’s natural state. “I hate my hair like that,” he said, trying to push it flat with his hands, knowing it didn’t work.

 

“Really?” Phil questioned, eyes wide. “I think it suits you,” he added, leaning back into the couch. Dan blushed. “Are you still feeling okay, mentally?” Phil asked.

 

“Yeah, I feel good,” Dan replied. “Should I not?” he questioned with a chuckle.

 

“Well, I would hope that you do, but it can take a bit of time for emotions to catch up. I had someone I worked with go home and have a major panic attack once he realized what he’d done,” Phil explained. “He called me, crying and freaking out, and ever since I am extra careful.”

 

“Was he okay?” Dan asked, suddenly feeling empathy for this person he knew nothing of.

 

“Yes.” Phil answered with a smile. “I talked with him until he calmed down and then he came in and we deleted all the files and I made sure he was okay before he left.”

 

Dan nodded. “You’re a good guy,” he mused. “Most bosses don’t care that much,” he added with a laugh. “I called into my old work cause I was so anxious I couldn’t function and my boss just told me to either be at work in twenty, or get fired. Spoiler, I got fired.”

 

Phil sighed. “I am sorry to hear that, it’s hard when people don’t understand.” He leaned forward again and took Dan’s hands in his own. “I need you to understand that once this goes up it is very hard to take down, so I want you to think long and hard about it, okay?”

 

“Yes Phil, I know. We’ve gone over this a bunch of times,” Dan replied teasingly. “I do want to see the final edit but I’m sure it will be fine. I felt more comfortable doing it than I expected to honestly.” He didn’t pull his hands away from Phil’s, liking the feeling of the contact, he always did like contact after sex.

 

Phil grinned. “That’s wonderful,” he said cheerily. “You were better at it than I expected,” he added. His face blushed and he sputtered. “I meant, like at filming, not at sex, I hadn’t expected you to be bad at sex, or good at sex, I hadn’t thought about-“ Dan cut off his rambling with a laugh, pulling his hands away to cover his mouth to try and stop the obnoxiously loud sound of his real laughter. Phil pouted. “It’s not nice to laugh at me,” he replied, mock sadness.

 

“Sorry, you’re just cute when you get nervous,” Dan responded, only noticing his words once they left his mouth. “Sorry, I meant like cute in a childish way, not like a ‘I think you’re hot way’,” Dan clarified. 

 

Phil chuckled. “Wouldn’t really mind it either way,” he said with a grin, again making Dan feel flushed. “I’ve called you pretty probably a dozen times so I see no issue with it as long as we both understand it’s just business.”

 

Dan nodded. “Right,” he replied with a smile. He was glad that they were comfortable enough with each other to use those kinds of words. But he also maybe wished there was something behind it. Something besides just business.

 

Phil smiled wide. “Also, you don’t have to try to suppress your laugh with me,” he said, his eyes meeting Dan’s.

 

“Old habit,” Dan replied. “A previous guy I was with got on me about being loud and I am kind of self conscious about it now.”

 

“That’s too bad,” Phil said, his tone cold. “He really missed out.”

 

“On what?” Dan questioned, confused by Phil’s statement. 

 

“On getting to hear your contagious laugh and of course the other noises too,” Phil said. “Such a shame. He seems like a dick though so I’m glad he’s not in your life anymore.”

 

Dan realized having a blushing face has just a side effect of being around Phil, a man who was comfortable just saying what he felt without much forethought. “Yeah, me too,” Dan replied. “I should get going and let you finish your work,” Dan said, after a moment of comfortable silence.

 

Phil nodded. “I suppose it is getting late,” he agreed. “I will let you know when PJ is ready for us to go over the video and then maybe you can come and make sure you’re comfortable with it? If not I can just send it to you, I just prefer to only have one copy and to know where it is,” Phil explained.

 

“Yeah, makes sense. Just let me know and I’ll come in,” Dan replied, getting up off the couch.

 

Phil followed suit, standing to properly see Dan off. “How do you feel about hugs?” Phil asked, his expression neutral, but Dan could see a bit of something else behind his eyes.

 

“Depends on the person,” Dan answered honestly. “If you mean ‘how do I feel about hugging you’, then that’s a different question than just about hugs in general,” Dan replied, being a tad annoying on purpose.

 

Phil laughed. “Good to know. I was asking for a friend so I will let him know,” he replied, teasingly. Dan rolled his eyes and put his arms out to Phil, feeling a sense of warmth and safety as soon as the older male put his arms around his waist and pulled him close. “See you soon,” Phil said as they parted again after a brief yet somehow long moment. 

 

“Yeah, text me when I can come in,” Dan responded, pushing the door open.

 

“I will, but you’re welcome here whenever,” Phil said with a soft smile. “Text me if you need to talk about anything, yeah?” Dan nodded. “Goodnight Dan.”

 

“Night,” Dan replied, with a wave as he headed off down the hallway to the main entrance. Cynthia gave him a smile and a wave as he walked by, which he returned before stepping outside into the cool evening air, an unexpected smile plastered on his face.

 

He walked barely a minute to the closest bus stop and felt his phone vibrate, he pulled it from his pocket, seeing a text from Phil.

 

Phil: I meant it Dan. Anything, anything at all.

 

Dan smiled at the phone screen for a second before putting it back in his pocket. He didn’t have many friends to talk to and he knew he couldn’t ask that much of Phil, he was just trying to be nice and Dan respected that. He would make sure not to get overly attached.

 

He got home and ate dinner in front of the TV, glancing at his phone. Contemplating if he should respond. He didn’t want to rude, right? He convinced himself he was just doing it to be nice when he texted Phil back.

 

Dan: Well, I’ve been watching this new anime lately, but I doubt you want to talk about that.

Phil: What’s it called?

Dan: Food wars.

Phil: Oh yes! I’ve been watching it too, what do you think so far?

 

They ended up spending the next few hours texting back and forth. Learning random things about each other. From their favorite food to their most irrational fears and everything in between. It was getting into the morning hours when they finally said their goodbyes.

Phil: Wait, before you go, can I ask you to do something for me?

Dan: Depends, is it something stupid?

Phil: Mean :(  
Phil: I want you to tell me five things you like about yourself. They don’t have to be physical this time.

Dan: This again? Really?

Phil: You can say no.

Dan: Sigh…  
Dan: Fine…

Dan paused, trying to think of things about himself that he thought seemed normal to say he liked. He could just make some up, but he liked being honest with Phil. Minutes passed. He tried to type a few things but erased them seconds after.

 

Phil: Need help?

Dan: No, this is just silly.

Phil: Okay, no problem :) I won’t bring it up again. Sorry if I pushed you. 

Dan: It’s okay.  
Dan: Actually….  
Dan: A bit of help might be nice…

Dan blushed, feeling like a needy little brat seeking compliments, but in reality he was just insecure and dealing with a lifetime of self hating thoughts that made it hard to see the good in himself. 

Phil: :)  
Phil: Your sense of humor is great. You’re kind and caring. Your voice is melodic. You have strong opinions. And you’re open minded.   
Phil: I’ll stick to five.

Dan was impressed with the speed at which Phil could come up with that many positive things about him. He debated over each one in his mind. Phil wasn’t wrong on any of the points, Dan tried to be kind and open minded, often had strong views on major issues and he found himself funny. The voice thing he doubted though. He had an annoying voice and hated hearing it back.

 

Dan: I find these debatable but it’s too late for a decent debate.

Phil: Good :) Then for now I win.

Dan: I suppose so.

Phil: Goodnight Dan.

Dan: Night, Phil. And thanks.

Phil: No problem ^.^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it did cause me physical pain to type that Dan has an annoying voice. I love it so much and it brings me so much joy but I hate my own voice and I think most insecure people do ^^; 
> 
> Just a heads up that anything said negative about either of the boys in this fic is just the way I am writing them to feel about themselves. It is in no way me making a claim that I actually agree with the statement. I don't have anything I could say negative about either of them <3


	8. Chapter 8

It had been a couple days since the day Dan had filmed with his new co-worker Phil. He hadn’t texted him since that night, not wanting to bother him, just because Dan didn’t have a life and spent most of his time on his own, bored and a bit depressed, doesn’t mean that Phil had the time or desire to text with him all day. 

 

He was jittery every time his phone went off, wondering if maybe it was Phil telling him to come in to go over the footage with him. Ending up both relieved and disappointed every time it wasn’t Phil. He was excited to see Phil again, and also curious to see how everything looked, but he was nervous; not so much of seeing himself in porn, he’d spent a lot of time thinking about that and was getting more comfortable with the idea. 

 

The thing he was most nervous of was the fact that he’d be watching porn of Phil and himself while sitting next to the other man, most likely alone in a room. He was nervous he’d get aroused because he didn’t have the best control over his body in those situations. 

 

He was spending another day at home, not having left the house since the day he’d filmed with Phil, bored and lonely as he scrolled through social media. ‘I wonder if Phil has social media?’ he thought to himself. He brought up twitter first and typed in “Phil Lester” he found quite a few results but none that seemed like the Phil he was looking for. ‘I guess for safety reasons he’d probably have a private account…’ 

 

On a whim Dan tried typing “AmazingPhil” into the search bar. He was brought to a verified profile, the profile picture most definitely of the Phil he knew. Dan smiled at the picture of his face and blushed. He scrolled down to read the bio. 

 

“Hey Guys! :) This is Amazing Phil, formerly known as Phil Striker, I may be a pornstar but I still expect you guys to be nice and respectful, I will block you otherwise ;)” Dan laughed, it still had Phil’s same energy as anything else he’d written but he could tell it was old, like Phil hadn’t updated it recently. 

 

The tweets on the other hand were recent, he’d seemed to tweet and retweet a couple times a day. He had a decently large following and Dan was a bit jealous, he also wanted to follow the account but he didn’t want to seem like a creep so he didn’t. Instead he scrolled through the tweets. A lot of it was silly meme’s and pointless tweets about food or cute dogs, but he saw a tweet that interested him. 

AmazingPhil (@AmazingPhil)  
Sometimes I get to meet really nice people through my work and for that I am very thankful <3

Dan checked the date, it was the day he’d gone in to bring Phil his hot chocolate. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t hope the tweet had something to do with him. He wanted to be someone Phil was thankful to meet. He scrolled through more of his tweets and saw him interacting with other models/actors, as well as fans of his work. He was happy to see that everyone did seem respectful and Phil seemed to enjoy getting to answer questions and speak to people.

 

Dan went to the top of the page again and saw a link to an Instagram account. He debated about clicking it for awhile. He promised himself he wouldn’t watch any of Phil’s old work, something about it just seemed wrong and like a huge invasion of privacy, but Instagram was okay, right?

He talked it over with himself and decided that he could at least check, it was public so clearly Phil wasn’t too worried about it. As soon as the account loaded Dan’s face went red. None of the photos broke guidelines, they weren’t nudes of overly suggestive pictures. But there were pictures of Phil laying on beds in some of the different rooms of the SCC building. He saw the white room they’d filmed in and felt his heart skip. The pale skin of Phil topless torso almost blended in, but his dark hair and brilliant blue eyes stood out and stole the show. The red rose petals around him bringing color and life to the photo. 

 

Dan’s eyes were glued to the screen. As well as some clearly staged and professionally photographed pictures that took his breath away, there were also silly selfies he seemed to take and post without much thought. They weren’t meant to be sexy like the others, they were normal pictures. Him pulling funny faces, struggling to get his hair to stay right, pictures of him in his glasses holding up a cactus that he’d managed to keep alive. Dan was overwhelmed, Phil was so gorgeous. Sure, he had noticed it before, but seeing it from an outside view it really hit him that he’d slept with possibly the most attractive man to ever walk the earth. 

 

He felt aroused, which then made him feel guilty, even though Phil’s job was to turn people on he still felt it wasn’t right for him to view the content in this way. He looked away and mashed the screen until Instagram closed. He sighed dropping the phone on the couch and getting up. He needed to go for a run and clear his head.

 

He left his phone at home and went for a short run around his apartment building, he felt better with a bit of sun on his skin. The cute dogs playing in the park nearby also didn’t hurt. He stopped and watched them for a minute, a smile on his face. “Hey,” A young women said, coming over to stand beside him.

 

Dan looked up and put effort into not just pulling away, his natural instinct telling him to avoid conversations. “Hey,” he replied awkwardly. The women was cute and looked to be close to his age, but he wasn’t at all interested in getting to know her.

 

“Which ones yours?” she asked, pointing to the heard of dogs playing in the middle of the field.

 

Dan chuckled, uncomfortable. “None of them,” he admitted. “I was just going for a run and I stopped for a second,” he added, hoping to be left alone.

 

She laughed, putting a hand on his arm. “You must really like dogs, huh?” she said with a bright smile. “That little cutie over there is mine,” she added, pointing to a small fluffy dog chewing on a stick.

 

Dan lifted his arm and brushed his hair back, using it as a cover to knock her arm off him. “Cute,” Dan replied. He regretted not having his phone, he wanted to fake a call, he was so awkward and bad at leaving social situations, his fear of seeming rude stopping him.

 

“Do you live around here?” she asked casually.

 

“Uhhh, yeah,” Dan replied, he smiled wide, he’d thought of a way to get out of this. “Me and my boyfriend live in an apartment a block down from here,” he added.

 

“Oh,” she exclaimed, seemingly a bit surprised.

 

“Yeah, I should probably be getting back to him,” he said with a laugh. “I accidently left my phone at home and he gets worried if I don’t pick up.”

 

“Understandable,” she replied with a kind smile. “Have a nice evening,” she added.

 

“Thanks, you too,” Dan replied. He quickly spun around and quite literally made a run for it. He sighed a sigh of relief when he saw his apartment building in sight again, the streets quite empty with no one who looked like they wanted to start a conversation. 

 

He was even more relieved when he got home and closed the apartment door behind him. He laughed at his own awkwardness, he really needed a friend so he didn’t have to deal with being alone in public. He reached for his phone, wanting to check it before jumping in the shower. There was a message from Phil.

 

‘Oh shit’ Dan thought to himself. Of course, the one time his phones not on him is when Phil wants him to come in. He quickly clicked the call button and wanted for Phil to pick up. After only one ring Dan heard the click of an answer.

 

“Hello Dan,” Phil said into the phone.

 

“Phil I am really sorry, I left my phone in my apartment so I didn’t see your text,” Dan responded. 

 

“It’s not a problem Dan, I told you it was fine,” Phil replied with a laugh.

 

“What?” Dan questioned, confused. “I can come in now if you want to talk,” he added.

 

“We don’t need to talk about it, it’s really fine,” Phil replied.

 

“No, Phil, I still want to. I haven’t changed my mind or anything,” Dan replied.

 

Now Phil sounded just as confused as Dan did. “Are we talking about the same thing?” he asked.

 

Dan blushed. He hadn’t read Phil’s text, he’d just assumed what it was about. “I’m not sure, what are you talking about?”

 

Phil laughed. “I saw you liked one of pics, I just texted you as a joke, I wasn’t serious.”

 

Dan felt his face flush. “Oh god, Phil I am sorry I didn’t mean to,” he said, stumbling over his words. “I just got curious so I looked you up on twitter and it linked to Instagram and again I got curious so I looked, but I didn’t mean to like anything,” he rambled a bit as he explained, trying to calm his racing heart.

 

Phil chuckled. “Dan relax, it’s not a big deal,” Phil replied. “Though…” he paused. “If it was an accident it might seem weird that I went through and liked a bunch of your cute pictures.”

 

Dan almost choked but regained his ability to speak. “Oh, um… No that’s fine,” he replied. “I just didn’t want you to think I was being creepy and stalking you.”

 

“Dan, why would you think my first thought would be that you’re a creep?” Phil questioned with a laugh. “I thought it was kind of nice, though I guess if it’s a mistake then that’s kind of awkward,” he added. Dan could almost hear him blush through the phone.

 

Dan chuckled this time. “I mean, it was a mistake to click the like button, but I did like all the photos,” he admitted. “You’re really pleasing to look at,” he added, feeling a bit bolder.

 

“Thank you Dan, I appreciate that,” Phil replied. “I enjoyed looking through your pictures as well.” Dan smiled wide and felt himself calm down. “Feel free to follow my account if you want, I don’t mind,” Phil added.

 

Dan nodded, then remembered Phil couldn’t see him. “I’ll do that,” he replied. “You can too, if you want,” he added.

 

“Okay,” Phil said, sounding very happy. There was a small moment of silence before Phil spoke up again. “What was it you thought I was texting you about?” he asked.

 

“I thought it was about the film being ready,” Dan answered.

 

“Oh, it is ready actually.” Phil replied. “Let me know what day your free this week and we can make a plan to go over it together.”

 

“Are you free tomorrow?” Dan asked.

 

“I can be,” Phil replied. 

 

“Okay, text me the time and I’ll come by,” Dan said with a smile.

 

Phil said he would check his schedule and get back to Dan by the night, then they said their goodbyes and hung up. Dan felt a bit overly excited to see Phil again, but he thought he seemed reasonable enough since he didn’t get much time socializing with people he actually enjoyed the company of.

 

He checked his texts, just to see what Phil had texted. 

 

Phil: Guess someone got curious? 

Then only a few minutes later Phil texted again.

Phil: I also got curious ^^; 

 

Dan brought up Instagram and looked through his likes, seeing he’d liked one of the most suggestive pictures. He slapped himself and rolled his eyes, he was so thankful that Phil understood and didn’t make him feel embarrassed about it, it even ended well, and part of him was thankful for his flustered mistake. Especially when he went to his notifications and saw Phil had liked almost every photo of Dan, making him smile wide and feel a boost of confidence like he’d never really felt before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went back and switched the drinks in the earlier chapters when I realized that even younger Phil didn't drink tea. For some reason I thought he did when he was younger. So yeah Phil now drinks Hot chocolate and I switched Dan's coffee for tea, though I think he drinks both? Anyway, totally pointless but I thought I'd mention that I changed it.


	9. Chapter 9

Just as they’d decided the day before, Dan was on his way to the SCC building to go over the film with Phil. His anxiety slowly eating away at him as he sat in the back of an Uber with a headset on just to avoid conversation. His anxiety only increased when he saw the building in his sight. “Can you drop me off here?” Dan asked, removing his earbuds. He decided walking the last few minutes might help him calm down a bit. 

 

The car pulled over and Dan got out, paying the driver and then slowly walking the rest of the way towards the building. He wore black ripped skinny jeans as always, but this time he wore a large oversized black and white striped jumper, knowing it would help hide his arousal if he did accidently get turned on. He stopped into the coffee shop, buying a pack of donuts because he needed something to do while he watched the film with Phil. At least having his hands occupied for a couple minutes while he ate would mean they wouldn’t be nervously fiddling with the hem of jumper the whole time.

 

He arrived at the building and stepped inside, greeted with the welcoming gentle scent the place had. Dan was becoming fond of the familiar scent, especially since it reminded him of Phil. “Hello, Mr. Howell” Cynthia greeted with a bright smile. 

 

“Hey,” Dan replied, smiling back. “Phil said we could go over the film today,” he explained. 

 

“Yes, he did tell me you’d be stopping by. He said you could just head down.” Cynthia pointed down the hall even though they both knew Dan was well acquainted with the location of Phil’s office. “Let me know if you need anything,” she added as Dan turned to walk down the hall.

 

“Thanks, I’m good for now,” Dan replied before heading towards Phil’s office. He knocked lightly. Through the fogged style glass, he could see Phil sitting at his desk. 

 

Phil looked up and quickly stood, coming over to open the door for Dan. “Thanks for coming by,” he said, his sweet smile making Dan feel comforted almost instantly. 

 

“Not a problem,” Dan replied. “I brought donuts,” he added with an awkward chuckle, placing the box down on the table.

 

“You didn’t have to do that,” Phil insisted. “You don’t have to bring a gift with you when you yourself are gift enough,” he added. Dan blushed, annoyed that no matter what Phil said it affected him. If anyone else said something like that he’d roll his eyes and possibly smack them, but Phil said it so genuinely that he just smiled. “How are you feeling today?” Phil asked.

 

“I’m good, a bit nervous, but also a bit excited,” Dan answered. “Is it weird to be excited about it? I always get excited when I see the final cut of a commercial I was in or something. I guess this isn’t all that different.”

 

Phil smiled. “Of course you can be excited,” he replied. “I’m excited to, I haven’t seen it either,” he added, taking a seat down on one of the couches. Dan stood awkwardly, not sure if he should sit across from him or beside him, his nerves making every simple decision seem complex. Phil looked up and noticed Dan standing, pulling at his sleeves. “Dan, we can do this another day if you’re not ready,” Phil suggested.

 

Dan chuckled. “I just don’t know where to sit,” he admitted. “Before it was easy, cause I knew I was supposed to sit across from you, but now we’ve had sex so sitting beside you shouldn’t be a big deal, but I don’t know if that’s weird off camera…” Dan muttered.

 

Phil reached out and took Dan’s hand, pulling him over to the couch and directing him to sit. “Better?” he questioned, hoping he’d ease some of Dan’s worry by taking control.

 

“Yes,” Dan replied, feeling a bit flustered at the way Phil so easily took control. He looked over at Phil and saw his gentle smile and he felt his heartbeat slow down again and his breathing even out. He sighed, closing his eyes and letting his posture go, sinking into the couch. 

 

Phil sensed him relax and smiled wide. “Good,” he replied. “So, do you want to talk for a bit first?” Phil asked. “I made sure the rest of my day was free so I wouldn’t have to rush you.”

 

Dan opened his eyes and looked at Phil. “Thanks, I appreciate that,” he replied. “I think I’m good to watch it now,” he answered. “My anxiety is back at it’s normal levels.” Dan didn’t tell Phil that he was the reason that his anxiety calmed, it was still so weird to him that Phil had that affect on his mind and body.

 

Phil nodded and reached for the laptop on the table, opening it up and logging in. “Do you want anyone else to join us? I made sure PJ was around just in case.” 

 

“No, I’m more comfortable with just you,” Dan said absentmindedly as he reached for the donut box. He realized what he said and got flustered. “I mean like not you specifically but like, the less people the better,” he corrected.

 

Phil laughed. “Relax Dan, I know what you mean, you don’t have to watch your words that carefully. I know I said the lines between filming and not filming need to be clear, but unless you tell me otherwise I just assume you mean everything in a professional or friendly way.”

 

Dan felt relieved. “Okay, good to know,” he answered. “I wasn’t sure which donuts you liked so I got a bunch of different ones,” he said, holding up the box with 12 different kinds of donuts to Phil. 

 

Phil laughed. “You got all of these for just us?” he asked.

 

Dan laughed as well. “Hey don’t shame me,” he teased. “Trust me I can go down on a pack of donuts.”

 

“Oh, I believe you,” Phil replied with a teasing wink. “I have a weakness for sugar so I’m not complaining,” he added with a smile, reaching for a donut with white glaze and sprinkles. 

 

Dan held back from saying how adorable it was that he picked the rainbow one he associated with children. “It’s not fair that you have a weakness for sugar and still look like that, naked,” Dan mused, pointing to the paused video up on Phil’s laptop.

 

Phil blushed. “I have a fast metabolism,” he replied shyly. “And anyway, you don’t look like a person who downs 12 packs of donuts either,” Phil added.

 

“That’s cause I’m bad at feeding myself and don’t eat much outside of snacking,” Dan replied. He saw Phil’s face and quickly spoke again. “I know it’s unhealthy I’m working on it.”

 

Phil took his hand and met his eyes. “If you need help, you can ask for it,” he said sweetly.

 

“It’s not like that,” Dan assured. “I’m just forgetful and since I live on my own there’s no one to remind me to eat.” He laughed, knowing full well how silly it was that at his age he needed someone to tell him to eat.

 

Phil nodded. “Okay,” he replied, taking a large bite of the donut, his eyes wrinkling a bit as he smiled at the sweet taste. He got glaze on his cheek and for a split second Dan debated about licking it off, but then he remembered he wasn’t bold like that, he was shy and awkward. 

 

“You have glaze on your cheek,” he said, picking up a napkin off the table and bringing it to Phil’s cheek. He blushed, realizing that although this was definitely less weird then licking him it was still weird. “Sorry, don’t know why I did that,” he said, taking his hand away.

 

Phil laughed and smiled. “Cause you’re sweet,” he replied. 

 

Phil thought he was sweet... This news made Dan happier then it ought to. But Phil had just said how much he liked sweet things and Dan couldn’t let that go. “We should probably start watching,” he said, wanting to change the subject before his mouth said the words in his head.

 

Phil nodded in agreement. “If you want to stop at any point just say so, and also if there is a section you don’t like then let me know and I’ll write down the time stamp and edit it out.”

 

“Okay,” Dan agreed, taking a bite of his own donut, a simple honey flavoured one. Phil played the video and instantly Dan was hit with a bunch of feelings, hearing his own voice was weird. Also, had Phil really sounded that husky and deep? Did he really look that good? They were less than a minute in and Dan was already feeling things he was hoping he wouldn’t feel.

 

Dan looked at his own face on camera, he could admit that he looked good with the lighting and editing, his nerves making him look innocent and cute. But his focus was still on Phil, on the fact that Phil’s lips were on his neck then his lips, the Dan on screen making noises that Dan didn’t want to cut out, despite finding them embarrassing. 

 

Dan leaned over and paused the video turning to Phil. “Do my noises make this weird?” he asked curiously. He knew people in porn made tons of noises, but they were normally planned and acted, meant to sound breathy and sexy, his weren’t planned and thought out, he just hadn’t been able to control himself.

 

Phil looked to Dan, his face tinted red in a subtle way that Dan noticed. “No, Dan, your noises make this,” Phil reassured. “Trust me, on that.” Dan nodded, content with that answer and hit play again.

 

Dan relaxed back on the couch, finding it weirdly not that strange to watch porn of himself. It kind of made him cringe whenever he spoke, but the visuals were good and he mentally thanked PJ for picking good angles. 

 

The weirdest part of it all was that if he didn’t know who these people were he would think they were dating. The chemistry they had on screen was good, the way they seemed to know each others bodies, the gentle kisses and soft touches. Dan had never seen porn where he believed that the people were actually into each other, but somehow that’s what came across. Though maybe it was just his mind wanting to think that Phil was as into him as he was into Phil.

 

Dan watched as ‘on screen Dan’ took Phil’s shirt off and ran his hands down his chest, suddenly just a tad jealous of his own self. He paused again. “I never did ask; do you actually have sensitive nipples?” Dan asked casually, feeling more comfortable with this since it was clear where the lines were on what was business.

 

Phil held up his hand to let Dan know he needed a second to finish the bite of donut filling out his cheeks and Dan laughed nodding, telling him to take his time. After he swallowed he brought his attention back to Dan. “First off, these are really good,” he said gesturing to the box of donuts. “And yes,” he answered. “Not overly so, but it depends on how into the scene I am. If I’m turned on enough everything is sensitive,” Phil explained with a chuckle.

 

Dan nodded in understanding. “It’s weird that you know all about my body cause you read my file, and yet I’m still learning yours,” he mused.

 

“Well, you’ve seen my bio, but I do have an extended file like the one you filled out. I don’t mind you looking at it,” Phil replied.

 

Dan thought about it for a second and shook his head. “It’s kind of fun getting to learn,” he said, deciding reading it wouldn’t be nearly as interesting as getting to test things out.

 

Phil smiled and nodded in agreement. “You can always ask any question, nothing’s off limits.” Part of Dan’s brain told him to ask if Phil was single, but he didn’t let that part speak. Instead he pressed play again and leaned back.

 

When his shirt came off Dan flinched, scared to see himself topless on camera, but again PJ did good angles and the lighting was right and somehow wrapped in Phil’s arms he didn’t mind the way he looked. He thought he almost looked sexy. Dan wanted to ask if Phil had actually gotten aroused, but even though he’d said there was no limits to questions Dan couldn’t bring himself to ask.

 

Dan noticed that not much had been cut yet, a couple seconds here and there to switch angles, but nothing that actually shortened the film time by any noticeable amount. Even the moments he knew they were whispering to each other didn’t stand out, somehow fitting in and not messing up the flow.

 

This time it was Phil who paused bringing Dan’s attention to him. “I really meant what I said there,” he stated. “You really do make the most incredible noises. It’s hard to find someone who makes noises like that naturally, and when they’re faked you can always tell. It adds so much to the film,” Phil praised making Dan blush even more if it was possible.

 

“I mean, I’m not normally that loud,” Dan replied. Phil looked at him and quirked an eyebrow. Dan’s eyes slid to the side to avoid eye contact. “You’re really good at what you do, you made me feel better then anyone else ever has, so yeah I made a lot of noise.” Even though Dan wasn’t looking he could feel the beaming smile that spread across Phil’s face, along with the blush.

 

Dan hit the play button again and only seconds later was reminded of the way he’d almost begged for Phil to touch him. He would be embarrassed by it if that wasn’t one of his kinks. But since it was, he instead found himself getting aroused and pulled his long jumper down to cover any signs of an erection he might get.

 

“Thanks for reading my cues there,” Dan said, motioning to screen where he had brought Phil’s fingers into his mouth. This time Dan spoke without pausing since he only needed to make a quick comment.

 

“Of course,” Phil replied. “I do my best to pay attention and take cues,” he added. Dan couldn’t disagree, Phil was really good at that.

 

Dan could see it on his face, the moment Phil called him ‘Good boy’ he knew no one else would know since it couldn’t be heard, but he could see the way his own eyes changed. He watched as he removed his jeans and was again not overly bothered by the way he looked. Now realizing the fears he’d felt while filming about if you’d be able to see small rolls if he bent too much was silly. He was human so of course lines showed up when he bent over, but he realized it wasn’t actually off-putting like he’d assumed it would be.

 

Dan and Phil’s eyes met and they both let out a small chuckle at the slight ‘woah’ that could be heard from Dan’s mouth when he’d seen the size of Phil’s cock. Dan leaned over and paused the video again. “Okay, you can’t blame me for that,” he said teasingly.

 

“I wasn’t,” Phil replied. “Do you want to cut it?” he asked.

 

“I don’t care, so whatever you think is better,” Dan answered.

 

“I think it’s quite cute,” Phil admitted sheepishly.

 

“Then leave it in,” Dan responded. “Let the world know I was surprised by the sheer size of y-“ Phil cut him off by shoving the donut he’d been eating into Dan’s mouth. Dan took a bite and enjoyed the taste, laughing once he’d swallowed. He saw Phil’s face was as red as his own and grinned, pressing play on the video again.

 

Dan saw Phil shift on the couch beside him as ‘on screen Dan’ took Phil’s cock into his mouth. Suddenly Dan got a bit curious, maybe he wasn’t the only one finding this arousing. Dan had always been proud of his blowjob skills but watching the way Phil unraveled on screen in front of his own eyes made him feel a sense of pride unlike he’d felt before.

 

Dan did feel a bit self conscious when he watched himself get completely naked, but it somehow didn’t feel terrifying like he thought it would, he’d be lying if he said part of him didn’t get off on the idea that people might watch him to get off.

 

“Wow you don’t even see the cut,” Dan said as they got to the point where he knew the section they’d cut out would have been.

 

“PJ is really good at what he does,” Phil replied. Dan nodded in agreement, chuckling slightly as he watched himself try really hard and yet still fail at taking Phil all the way down.

 

As the scene got more intense and Dan watched as Phil pushed into him he felt his cock stiffen, he was fully hard at this point and he was so thankful that his sweater hid it. He looked over and noticed Phil looked unaffected except for his red cheeks. Dan envied his control over his body.

 

Dan again felt envy at his own self when he watched himself reach down and stroke his cock to relieve pressure, something he really wished he could do right now. Again, Dan could see it in his face when Phil called him a ‘good baby boy’ he really wanted to hear those words again. 

 

Dan had a hard time keeping his eyes on the screen as he watched himself come, his face scrunching and his body tensing up. He didn’t mind the way it looked though, especially when he heard a small noise that he was sure wasn’t from the Phil on screen with him, but instead the Phil sitting beside him. Maybe he was also a little turned on. Dan watched as the camera zoomed in to show Phil’s come across Dan’s stomach. His body so on the brink that he didn’t even know what to do with himself. He finally got relief though when the video ended moments later.

 

They both sat in silence for a minute staring at the black screen of the ended video. Phil turned his head to Dan, his knees pressed to his chest as his feet were flat on the couch beside him. “So, what did you think?” he asked.

 

Dan willed his brain to say something, but he was beyond horny and he didn’t know how to form words. “That was really hot….” He muttered.

 

Phil chuckled. “See? I told you you’d be perfect for it,” he said, proud that Dan was seeing what he’d envisioned.

 

“Seriously Phil, fuck…” Dan muttered again. He didn’t know what to do with himself, he’d never been this horny around another person when they weren’t planning to have sex. At this point he wasn’t even sure if having sex with Phil, or the act of watching it back was more arousing, but he did know he wasn’t able to form words either way.

 

Phil gave Dan a gentle smile. “Do you need a minute?” he asked, his voice both deep and soft. 

 

Dan blushed and hid his face. “God, I’m sorry Phil,” he muttered. 

 

Phil laughed. “Why? It’s natural,” he replied with a shrug. “The room across the hall is all clean if you want to go be by yourself for a bit, we can discuss the rest later.”

 

Dan actually considered Phil’s offer, but he was too embarrassed knowing that Phil would know exactly what he was doing. He took a deep breath. “I’ll be fine,” he said pouring himself a glass of water. Phil always had the pitcher of water and glasses on the coffee table.

 

Phil nodded, not bringing it up again, he didn’t want to embarrass the younger man, even though he himself was in a very similar state and he was glad Dan hadn’t seemed to notice. “So, is there anything you want cut? Or do you want to delete it all?”

 

Dan gulped down the water. “I’m happy with it,” Dan answered. “I didn’t think I would ever feel confident enough to do something like that, but I think it looks good.”

 

Phil grinned. “I think it turned out incredible, we have great on screen chemistry,” Phil replied. Dan glad that Phil thought the same thing he did.

 

“Yeah, if I didn’t know us, I’d believe we were together,” Dan agreed.

 

Phil chuckled and nodded. “So there’s nothing you want changed?”

 

“Nothing that can be changed in post,” Dan replied.

 

“Well, we could reshoot if there’s something wrong,” Phil reminded.

 

Dan laughed. “Nothing wrong, just still annoyed that I couldn’t take you all the way down,” Dan replied. 

 

“Dan, I didn’t expect you to d-“ Phil spoke but Dan cut him off.

 

“I know,” Dan replied. “I’m not annoyed because I think you’re mad, I’m annoyed because I know I can do better.” He smirked. “I’ll practice and next time do better,” he added with a wink.

 

Phil took a pillow off the couch and hid his face. “Sushh, you,” he said, hitting Dan with it. Dan grinned widely. Phil laughed, “You’re a very odd person, Daniel Howell,” he stated.

 

Dan laughed with him. “You’re just now figuring this out?” He shoved Phil teasingly and Phil shoved him back. Dan enjoyed this kind of playing teasing, it was something he hadn’t had in a long time.

 

“I think I’m just learning to appreciate it,” Phil replied with a fond smile. Dan smiled back. “So, you actually think they’ll be a next time?” he asked, more serious.

 

“If you want to hire me again, then yes,” Dan answered. “So far this has probably been the most fun job I’ve ever had.”

 

Phil lit up, and it made Dan feel proud that he could make the other man that happy. “You should go home and think about everything, and in a week we can decide how you feel about posting it. After the first time it won’t be this long of a process, but for now with this being your first role of this kind I want you to have no regrets,” Phil explained.

 

“Okay, I will go home and think it over, but I’m pretty content with my decision,” Dan replied. Phil looked pleased with his response. Dan looked down and chuckled. “If we don’t have anything else to discuss right now I think it’s better that I get home,” he said, feeling less awkward since Phil didn’t seem to care. He wanted to stay and hang out with Phil, enjoy the time they spent together more than he enjoyed the time they spent apart, but he knew he was close to crossing a line he didn’t want to cross.

 

Phil laughed. “No, I think we’re good for today,” he replied. 

 

“Alright then.” Dan got up from the couch, keeping his jumper in place. “I guess I’ll see you next week,” he added.

 

Phil got up to see him out even though it was only a few steps. He passed Dan the donut box. “Here.”

 

“You keep them,” Dan replied. “You look cute eating them I can’t take them from you.”

 

Phil flushed but he smiled. “Thanks Dan.”

 

“No problem,” Dan responded. He put his arms out and Phil quickly embraced him. Dan missed the feeling of his arms around him. When they pulled apart he felt a little bit lonely. “See you soon,” he said with a smile, opening the door to leave.

 

“Text me sooner,” Phil replied. Dan nodded in agreement, happy that seemingly Phil enjoyed their conversations as much as he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was kind of a weird chapter to write was it's like sort of just going over chapter 4 and 5 (or was it 5 and 6? I don't actually know aha ^^;) but anyway it was also kind of different and fun. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! ^^ 
> 
> Oh and I know this is marked as only having 10 chapters but that's a lie I will be changing it to like 20.


	10. Chapter 10

Just as Phil said he would, he gave Dan a whole week to think over his decision and be sure, even though Dan had made up his mind fully by the third day. 

 

What Dan hadn’t expected though was to wake up every morning to a text from Phil telling him to eat. Then one of the afternoon saying the same and one again in the evening. Every single day, like clockwork Phil sent him reminders to take care of himself. Dan insisted he didn’t have to, but Phil continued to do it anyway. Who was Dan kidding? He really liked Phil’s attention and his reminders were sweet.

 

Plus, it really had helped him. Eating more regularly gave him energy and he started going for short runs, which made him sleep better, improving his mental health. It was a cycle of good that he hoped to keep up.

 

It was almost the end of the week and Dan got a call from Phil. “Hey Dan,” Phil said cheerily as Dan answered.

 

“What’s up?” Dan replied, as he put the phone on speaker and changed from his workout clothes, having just returned from a run.

 

“I was wondering if you had any plan this evening,” Phil responded. “A friend and someone I used to work with is in town and I thought it might be good for you to meet him.”

 

“I don’t know…” Dan muttered. “You know I’m not the best with meeting new people,” he added with a chuckle. 

 

“I promise he is really kind and easy to talk to,” Phil assured. “I think it would be good for you to speak to some more people in the business,” he added. “Might open more doors for you in the future if you want to branch out.”

 

Dan felt his stomach flip. He didn’t want to branch out, not really. He liked working with Phil, in his safe space he’d created. “I mean, I guess it can’t hurt,” Dan agreed. “You’ll be there right? I don’t want to be left to socialize on my own.”

 

Phil laughed. “Of course,” he answered. “We were going to meet at a bar downtown around 7:00.”

 

“Alright, text me the address and I’ll swing by,” Dan agreed. 

 

“Great,” Phil replied, smile apparent by the tone change. “I’ll see you tonight.”

 

“Yeah, see you,” Dan replied, before hanging up the phone. It was only just after lunch so he had a lot of time to get ready, which was good, but also bad. When he had too much time he got jittery, changed his outfit 15 times and then normally decided to just stay at home. He needed something to pass the time so he played a game for a couple hours, letting his mind travel into a fantasy world where his anxiety and depression didn’t exist.

 

He was pulled out of the fantasy world when his phone went off. He checked it seeing Phil had sent him the address. It was closer to 5:00 five now, so he saved his game and turned it off, going into his closet to pull out everything he owned to try and find something he wanted to wear. 

 

He looked the place up to see what the dress code was like. Not wanting to risk showing up in jeans and a t-shirt to some fancy place. Seeing it was a small place where people wore whatever they wanted relaxed him some, but it also made picking what to wear harder. Jeans were easy since he mostly just had all the same style of black skinny jeans, so he started with those, picking the pair with the rips all across the thighs. 

 

After that he tried on a bunch of different shirts, thinking that none of them looked right. It was times like this that needed someone else to tell him he looked okay. Part of him wanted to send Phil a picture and ask, he hated that part of him. He couldn’t just rely on Phil for everything. He sighed, pulling on a shredded looking sweater with a lace mesh underlay, he’d bought it on a day he’d felt confident, but hadn’t actually worn it out because he realized he wasn’t that kind of confident person. But for one night, maybe he could fake it.

 

He went with it, not wanting to try anything else on and then moved to the hall closet to get shoes. He picked a pair of black sneakers, not wanting to look too dressed up. He straightened his hair, applying product to try and keep it that way, though it always ended up back to it’s natural curly state after a little while and finally he looked in his full length mirror. It almost made him laugh that this was the same person he’d watched having sex almost a week ago. That person seemed so much more confident, he wanted to be that person. 

 

He checked his phone seeing another text from Phil and texting him back.

 

Phil: You still planning on coming Dan?

Dan: Yeah, I’m heading out now.

Phil: Okay, I sent a taxi to come get you.

Dan: You didn’t have to do that, I could have taken and Uber or the bus.

Phil: It’s for work, I don’t mind paying for it.

Dan: Alright, fine then. Thanks.  
Dan: I’ll see you in a bit.

Phil: Can’t wait.

 

Dan smiled, Phil made him feel like he was wanted somewhere, which is a feeling he rarely felt. He checked himself over once more before grabbing his bag and going downstairs to wait for the taxi. He didn’t have to wait long, barely five minutes passing before he was inside the nice car and on the way to meet Phil and his friend.

 

When the taxi driver dropped him off Dan went to take out his wallet, assuming Phil would reimburse him later but the taxi driver stopped him. “Your friend paid me already, with tip,” he said with a warm smile.

 

“Oh, okay then,” Dan replied. “Thanks, have a nice night.” The taxi driver thanked him and drove off after he was out of the car with his jacket and bag. Dan could hear the music from inside the bar but it wasn’t obnoxiously loud, it sounded like a live jazz band which was something he could get behind.

 

There was a man dressed all in black by the door. “I.D. please,” he said as Dan approached. Dan felt nervous even though he had no reason to be, he was old enough to be in a bar but his hands still shook as he pulled out his wallet and showed his drivers license. The man nodded and opened the door letting him inside. Dan sighed in relief.

 

Once inside he scanned the bar for any sign of Phil. Not seeing him anywhere he sent him a quick text.

 

Dan: I’m here, I don’t see you.

Phil: We’re in a booth at the back.

 

Dan headed to the back, where the music was quieter and the lights less bright. He scanned the comfy couch-like seats until he heard Phil’s laugh, following the noise to the very back booth. Dan approached the table, unnoticed for a minute as Phil and his friend laughed and smiled at each other. Phil was dressed in dark jeans and a button-up short sleeve that had the top buttons undone, his glasses perched on his face. The harsh lighting made the bone structure of his face really stand out, making him look gorgeous as he laughed and sipped at his fruity drink.

 

Phil’s friend was also cute, with a soft round face and large eyes. He looked younger, closer to Dan’s age than Phil’s. His skin not nearly as pale as Phil’s but still light, his dark hair framing his face with it’s choppy emo cut, his fringe longer on one side, partially covering his face. He looked tiny next to Phil, his 6,4 height towering over the 5,4 male beside him, the male currently pressed against him as they sat side by side, clearly comfortable in each others personal space.

 

Phil looked up and noticed Dan, his smile widening. “Dan,” he said enthusiastically, sliding out form the booth to give him a quick hug. He pulled back and gave Dan a look over. “You look good,” he stated.

 

Dan blushed. “Thanks,” he replied. “So do you,” he added, trying to play it off as just being nice even though he thought Phil looked ravishing. 

 

“Come sit,” Phil said, returning to his seat beside his friend and making room for Dan to slid in beside him. “Dan, this is my good friend Kyler, Kyler this is Dan.” Phil gestured to them both even though it was obvious who he was referring to based on the fact that no one else was there.

 

“Nice to meet you Dan,” Kyler said with a warm smile. His smile was sweet and Dan couldn’t help but smile back. Giving a quick wave, unsure of what to say. Kyler was very relaxed though and didn’t seem at all bothered by Dan’s awkwardness.

 

“Can I get you a drink?” Phil asked, turning his attention to Dan.

 

“Vodka and soda is fine,” Dan answered. Phil being in the middle would need one of them to move for him to stand up so Dan went to move when Kyler stood instead.

 

“I’ll go get it,” Kyler said.

 

“You sure?” Phil asked, looking to him, their heights less different now that Phil was sitting and Kyler was standing.

 

“Yeah,” Kyler replied. “The bartender’s cute,” he added with a wink, heading off towards the bar.

 

Phil turned his attention back to Dan. “How are you doing?” he asked, noticing Dan was quiet.

 

“Good,” Dan replied. “I just don’t know how to act around other people in the business,” he explained. “Should I be professional and treat him like a co-worker?”

 

“Kyler?” Phil laughed. “No, definitely not,” he replied. “He’s one of the most chill people you will ever meet. And also he is out of the business now.”

 

Dan chuckled. “Shame, he’s quite cute,” he teased, easing his anxiety by joking around.

 

Phil grinned. “Right?” he agreed. “Good at his work also,” he added. “I was lucky enough to get to work with him quite a few times in the past.”

 

“I would say I was the lucky one,” Kyler chimed in, placing Dan’s drink down in front of him. “As you probably know Phil is one of the best,” he added, turning his attention to Dan and he sat back in the booth, this time putting a bit of space between himself and Phil.

 

Dan flushed but he couldn’t disagree. “I haven’t worked with anyone else so I’m biased,” he replied. “Thanks,” he added, taking a sip of his drink.

 

“Well, from experience I can say with confidence he’s one of the greats,” Kyler replied. 

 

Phil shoved him lightly. “This is not a conversation about me,” he said.

 

“I’d beg to differ,” Dan replied. Him and Kyler shared a look and laughed. 

 

“Okay, well I am changing the subject,” Phil announced. “Did you get the bartenders number?” Phil asked, looking to Kyler.

 

Kyler sighed. “He said he’s into taller guys,” he replied. “You might have a shot,” he added. “Either of you I guess.” He laughed. “I feel so small next to both of you.”

 

“Not interested,” Dan replied quickly. “I don’t like guys who body shame.” Phil nodded in agreement.

 

“Are you seeing anyone Dan?” Kyler asked.

 

Dan had taken a sip of his drink and almost spit it. He swallowed and laughed. “I haven’t ever really been ‘seeing someone’ since high-school” he replied, making air quotes. “I guess I look like the one-night stand type.”

 

Phil pouted and turned to Dan. “That’s not true at all,” he said defensively.

 

“It’s fine Phil,” Dan assured. “I’ll find someone at some point.” He shrugged, not over concerned with finding a boyfriend right now.

 

Kyler smirked. “Phil’s old and he hasn’t found anyone yet, you have time,” he responded.

 

“Shush,” Phil replied. “I am only three years older than you,” he reminded.

 

“But I still look eighteen,” Kyler replied with a teasing smirk.

 

“I’m surprised, I assumed you were in a relationship,” Dan stated, looking to Phil. He couldn’t help feel just a bit pleased that Phil was single. The same way you get excited to find out your celebrity crush is single, even though you know you still have no shot with them.

 

Phil sighed. “I was focused on work through my early 20’s so dating took the back burner,” he explained. “And also, it’s hard to find someone who’s willing to date someone in the porn business,” he added.

 

Kyler lifted his drink to clink with Phil’s in a cheers. “Ain’t that the truth,” he said with a chuckle.

 

“Couldn’t you just give up the acting part? You said you do it rarely anyway,” Dan questioned.

 

“Doesn’t matter, most guys don’t trust you. They think if you spend the day with mostly young attractive people that you’ll cheat,” Phil replied.

 

“People also think all the models are just sluts, throwing themselves at anyone,” Kyler added in. “In reality doing porn and being slutty are two different things, when the camera’s on I’ll play the role, but once it’s off I’d rather lay on the beach and read a book.”

 

“That sucks,” Dan commented. “Do you regret doing porn?” he asked, looking to Kyler.

 

“Not at all,” Kyler replied. “It paid well, was fun and I got to meet a lot of wonderful people.” He paused, smiling at Phil. “People do still judge me for my past, but I’m not that bothered by it, pornstars are just normal people at the end of the day.”

 

Dan listened intently and nodded along. “I’m glad,” he replied. “Do you have any advice for someone starting out?”

 

“Well, you’re already working in a safe place so that’s a good place to start,” Kyler replied. “You have a great boss and wonderful co-workers, and I’m sure Phil has explained most things to you.” He paused, thinking for a moment. “If I had advice it would be to be careful who you associate with and don’t read comments.”

 

“I need to approve comments before they show up on our page so you should be mostly safe from that if you continue to work with us,” Phil responded.

 

“Yeah, I’m not ready to work anywhere else, I’m just starting to get comfortable there,” Dan replied.

 

“Well, I can’t say I’d be happy to see you go elsewhere anyway,” Phil said. “I get protective of my models.”

 

Kyler chuckled. “He really does. We filmed a three-way with another guy once and they other guy didn’t stop when I said it hurt and Phil literally shoved him off and carried me off set.”

 

“I would do it again,” Phil replied with a satisfied smile.

 

“See, that’s why you’re one of the greats,” Dan said with a wide smile.

 

They all spent the next two hours drinking and chatting about anything and everything. Phil and Kyler telling Dan about some of there wildest shoots and answering any questions as they came up. Dan realized he liked Kyler, Phil was right, he was relaxed and easy to talk to talk to. He didn’t start drama, he had political and moral views that Dan shared and he seemed kind and genuine. 

 

By around 10:00 they all headed out of the bar together. “It was nice meeting you,” Kyler said, his attention on Dan.

 

“Yeah, you’re way nicer then I was expecting,” he replied, honestly. 

 

Kyler laughed. “I’m glad,” he replied, he put his arms out and Dan gave him a quick hug. “Next time I’m in town we should all hang out again.”

 

“Call me whenever, I can always make time for you,” Phil responded.

 

“I can always make time to, cause I have no life,” Dan agreed making the others laugh.

 

“If you’re ever bored feel free to give me a call,” Kyler said with a wink, passing Dan a piece of paper with his number on it. “I’m not in the business anymore, but I could make an exception.”

 

Dan blushed but put the paper in his pocket. “Thanks,” he replied. He watched as Phil embraced Kyler, bending over to properly hug him. They said their goodbyes and Phil hailed a passing taxi for Kyler, who got in it and left them with a wave.

 

Phil turned his attention back to Dan, the streetlight above them making him look like some kind of angel. “Thank you,” Dan said quietly.

 

“For what?” Phil asked, stepping up in front of Dan.

 

“I don’t know yet,” Dan said with an airy laugh. “I guess just everything you’ve done.”

 

Phil smiled at him and put his arms around Dan, hugging him close. “You’re welcome Daniel, but I have just as much to thank you for.”

 

They should have talked more, said the things on their minds. Admitted to the fact that they were both lonely and needed the friendship they’d developed as much as the other did, that they felt comfortable in the connection they shared. But they didn’t, instead they said goodbye and went their separate ways off into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey ^^ Kyler is based on former model/actor(pornstar) Kyler Moss because he is cute and sweet and genuinely seems like a really nice guy. I'm not a watcher of porn but I came across him researching for this story (Yes I researched porn for this and my history is now filthy, you're welcome XD) and he really helped me see more sides of what porn could/can be. I do not have his consent to put him in this story (I wanted to ask if he's okay with it but that feels so embarrassing to do) so if somehow he sees this and asks for me to remove him I will definitely do that, but he seems like he'd be okay with it. 
> 
> His character won't make many apprentices but is relevant to the story and also I just really like him and it's my story so I can add him haha. 
> 
> Anyway thanks for reading <3 And if you do end up looking up Kyler, just know that it will be 100% 18+ results so don't do it if you're a kid (if you're a kid why are you reading this? No judgement though ^^;) and if you come across his social media be nice to him <3


	11. Chapter 11

It was only two days later when Dan was called back into the SCC building to sign the papers confirming he was okay with the release of the video. Though he and Phil had been texting all throughout the last couple days, he was still excited to see him in person again. 

 

Outside of his now daily runs, and short trips to buy groceries, Phil was really the only person he talked to and sometimes texting just wasn’t enough. He wanted to hear someone’s voice and look them in the eye when they spoke, and maybe, just maybe, he wanted to feel Phil’s arms wrapped around him again as he greeted him with a warm embrace.

 

When he arrived at the building Cynthia informed him Phil was in a shoot and told him to wait in the office, so of course he did. He sat on one of the couches in Phil’s office and played on his phone while he waited for Phil to enter. About half an hour passed when he heard the glass door slide open, causing him to look up. He saw Phil in jeans and a t-shirt, telltale signs of his recent sexual activities clear from his hair and face down to the rumbled clothes and lack of socks.

 

Phil smiled wide as soon as he saw Dan sitting on the couch. “Hey Dan,” he said, pushing his feet off the couch so he could sit down beside him.

 

“Rude,” Dan muttered teasingly. “You look like you had fun,” he added, running a hand through Phil’s once styled but now unkempt hair. 

 

Phil laughed. “It’s work Dan, I wouldn’t say I was off having fun,” he said, but his smile stayed. “Sorry it took longer than I thought, we had to reshoot something because we had an issue.”

 

“It’s fine, can’t be helped,” Dan responded understandingly. “Everyone’s alright though, yeah?”

 

“Yes, of course,” Phil answered. “If not, I wouldn’t be here with you,” he added. “Not that I don’t want to be here with you, but pressing matters come first.” 

 

Dan nodded. “How often would you consider often when it comes to doing porn shoots?” he asked, seemingly out of the blue.

 

“Depends on the actor I guess,” Phil mused. “I’d say more than once or twice a week is often. Why?” he questioned, his eyes on Dan’s.

 

Dan flushed. Phil’s eyes were otherworldly when he was post orgasm and it was easy to get distracted and lose track of time when staring at them. “Umm…” Dan muttered and tried to get his brain to function again. “It’s just… before, when we first met you said you didn’t do shoots often anymore and yet it seems you’re doing them most of the days I’m here,” he responded, trying to keep his tone neutral, though admittedly there was an emotion he was feeling but it was one he tried to hide. He got jealous easy and he knew it.

 

Phil laughed. “Dan, most of those shoots I’m just sitting in on,” he answered. “Anytime I’m working with a new model I like to be there to make sure everyone follows the rules,” he explained. “I don’t want to leave PJ alone to make the call if something seems wrong because he’s not liable if we were to get sued, and I wouldn’t want that on his conscience either.”

 

Dan hadn’t realized that, but it made sense. Phil was protective, overly so, of course he’d want to sit in and make sure everything went to plan. “If it’s some of the actors I’ve worked with for awhile than I can let them do their thing without me, but otherwise I’m in there just to be safe,” Phil said, finishing his explanation.

 

“That makes a lot of sense,” Dan replied. “Though how does one end up looking like that if all they did was watch?” he said with a chuckle, gesturing up and down Phil’s body.

 

Phil laughed. “Well, on occasion I will still film,” he replied. “Is that an issue?” he asked.

 

“No, of course not,” Dan answered quickly. He knew this was Phil’s work and he didn’t mind it, plus it’s not like he had any claim to the other man. There was just this little nagging voice that felt entitled to him. It wasn’t healthy though and Dan knew it wasn’t right.

 

“It’s okay if you want to know the people I’m sleeping with so you can be aware of risks if we film together again,” Phil replied. “I can give you a list of the models I’ve been with and their test history if you need.

“No Phil, that’s fine, I trust you,” Dan replied. “I know you wouldn’t knowingly put me at any kind of risk,” he added, smiling at him. Phil smiled back, widely, and put his arms out. Dan moved close to him on the couch and accepted the warm hug. Phil decidedly gave the best hugs. 

 

“Thank you for having such trust in me,” Phil replied. He kept his arms around the younger male so Dan made no moves to pull away. They’d had sex before, so surely this was acceptable.

 

“You give nice hugs,” Dan muttered, not sure why he felt like that was a normal thing to say. He blushed and went to pull away and Phil held him tighter.

 

“I think it’s cause we’re a good size for each other,” Phil responded with a laugh. “Sometimes I have to bend over so much to give hugs that I get a sore back.”

 

Dan laughed. “Stop hugging people so much then,” he replied, finally pulling away when Phil loosened his grip. 

 

“I can’t say no when someone asks,” Phil responded with a blush. “I am really bad at saying no unless it’s business related.”

 

“People ask for hugs?” Dan asked, perplexed. “Is that something that just happens when you’re good looking?”

 

Phil laughed. “Surely if that was the case you’d have to deal with it more than me,” he responded, making Dan blush lightly. “But no, they ask cause they are fans of my work,” Phil explained. “Porn actors do have fans, which can be a bit weird admittedly, but most of them are nice.”

 

“Is it mostly weird older men?” Dan asked, honestly curious.

 

“Not really, especially with what I do now, it’s actually a lot of teens who’ve seen some my educational sex videos and more realistic porn shoots,” Phil said proudly. “It’s really cool to know I helped people understand sex in a healthy way.”

 

“Wow, Phil,” Dan said, staring at him in awe. “You really are an impressive person,” he added.

 

Phil flushed. “I won’t say that, but I definitely try,” he replied. “Anyway, enough about me, weren’t you here to sign the papers?” 

 

Dan realized that Phil almost always switched the topic off of himself whenever possible and although he understood it, because he also hated talking about himself, he also wished Phil could see how amazing he was. “Yeah, I asked Cynthia but she said they were in here,” Dan answered.

 

“Right,” Phil muttered, getting up and looking around on his desk. “Sorry, I’m a bit scattered today,” he added, flipping through a large stack of papers. “Here we are.” He brought the papers to Dan, along with a pen and clipboard. 

 

“Everything okay?” Dan asked, suddenly worried about Phil, it was normal to worry about a friend and by this point Dan was comfortable calling what he and Phil had, friendship.

 

“It’s fine,” Phil replied. “Just tired from filming, and maybe a tad overworked,” he added, his smile returning once he was sitting beside Dan again.

 

Dan quickly signed the papers, he knew what they said and didn’t need to read over them again. Dan handed the signed papers back to Phil, a question on the tip of his tongue. “Do you, maybe want to hang out?” he asked, the hesitation more obvious in his voice than he wanted it to be.

 

Phil placed the clipboard on the coffee table and beamed at Dan, “I would love to,” he responded. “Drinks?” he questions.

 

“Pizza and games?” Dan countered. 

 

“Sounds perfect,” Phil replied, smile still plastered on his face. “Want to come to mine?” he asked, his eyes wide and awaiting an answer.

 

“Yeah that sounds fun,” Dan replied, trying to play it cool. He was much more excited than he let on, he hadn’t just hung out with anyone in awhile and he liked the idea.

 

“I don’t have any more work that I can’t do from home later,” Phil replied. “Want to ditch and head over now?” he asked.

 

“I got nowhere to be,” Dan replied with a smile, getting up off the couch. 

 

“Okay, I’ll let PJ know I’m heading out, can you go tell Cynth?” Phil asked, getting up as well.

 

“Yeah, sure,” Dan replied. They exited Phil’s office together but Dan went right, towards the entry and Phil went left, towards the back where Dan hadn’t ever been. Dan approached Cynthia’s desk and waited till she looked up before speaking to her. “Phil’s ditching out early and he wanted me to let you know,” he said.

 

Cynthia smiled. “I’m glad to hear that, he’s been working a lot of overtime lately,” she replied. “I’m assuming I have you to thank for this?”

 

“I don’t think thanks are in order but yeah, I think it’s my fault he’s leaving early,” Dan answered.

 

Cynthia nodded, her smile remaining. “Be careful,” she said. “Phil is extremely kind and easy to fall for, just be aware of your feelings and don’t be afraid to talk them out.” Dan gave her a confused look but before he could ask anymore questions he saw Phil come down the hall.

 

“Justin is still in the blue room, but he’s just dressing now, so you’re welcome to leave after him,” Phil said, speaking to Cynthia. “PJ left out the back,” he added.

 

“Alright, thanks,” she replied casually.

 

“Have a nice evening,” Phil said, as he walked towards the doors. “Coming, Dan?” Dan nodded and quickly followed him, stepping outside when Phil held the door for him. “I live close by; do you want me to call a cab? Or are you okay with a 20-minute walk?”

“Walking’s fine,” Dan replied, it was colder now than when he’d come to the building. The sun having gone down, making the wind brisk; each blow sending a small shiver down Dan’s spine, even though he was dressed in a large jumper.

 

They headed off in the direction of Phil’s apartment building, comfortable silence between them, filled only by the passing cars and few nature sounds you get in a big city. “Dan?” Phil said, breaking the silence.

 

Dan was focused on staying warm, his brain taking a second to realize he’d been spoken to. “Yeah?” he replied.

 

Phil stepped in front and turned to face him, walking backwards. “You look cold,” he muttered pulling his scarf off and wrapping it around Dan’s neck.

 

“I’m fine Phil, really,” Dan replied. “I’m an adult I can deal with the side effects of being too lazy to bring a jacket,” he added with a chuckle.

 

Phil pouted, he reached in his jacket pocket and pulled out a warm knit hat, pulling it over Dan’s hair. “You look cute in hats,” he mused.

 

“I’m going to look awful when this comes off and my hair is all messy and gross,” Dan replied, but he didn’t make any effort to take the hat off, it was warm and smelled of Phil.

 

“You’ll still look good,” Phil replied, stepping back in line with Dan again. “A bit better?” he questioned.

 

“Yeah,” Dan replied. “If only my hands weren’t so cold,” he said, pulling his sweater sleeves down to cover them.

 

“Daniel James Howell, are you asking to hold hands?” Phil replied, teasingly.

 

Dan flushed at the use of his full name, forgetting he’d even given it to Phil. “What if I was?” he said, playing along. “What are you going to do about it Phillip Lester?” Dan didn’t know Phil’s middle name, or if he even had one. He’d have to remember to ask.

 

Phil grinned. “This,” he said simply, taking Dan’s hand into his own. 

 

Dan blushed and pulled his hand away. “I was teasing Phil,” he said quickly.

 

“I know,” Phil replied. “It just seemed practical,” he added. “Sorry if I crossed a line.”

 

“I’ve just….” Dan ducked his head. “I’ve never held hands with a man in public,” he said, happy the cold would hide his reddish cheeks.

 

Phil laughed. “You’d never shot porn before either,” he reminded. “There is a first time for everything.” Dan laughed and rolled his eyes. “Try new things, Dan,” Phil said, holding out his hand again. 

 

Dan took his hand and smiled, Phil was good for him, opened up his life and made it more interesting. Dan had been getting by and surviving, but he hadn’t been living in quite a long time. Phil was helping him remember what living was like, he hoped he could do the same for Phil in some ways, even if only small ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phil new "Try new things" merch came out today so I had to fit that in there, sorry not sorry. I want to say a special thanks to my readers 8BitCow and AutumnHearth for teaching me Seen VS Saw, I really didn't know this was a thing ^^; I am still learning English even though it is my native langues and I am very thankful for anyone who takes a minute to help me out <3
> 
> Thanks for reading! ^^


	12. Chapter 12

Once they’d reached Phil’s apartment Dan wasn’t sure how to conduct himself. Phil was friendly and told him to treat this place like his own, but Dan had doubts. Phil was his boss despite the fact that he insisted they were on even footing. On top of that they were newly friends and shot porn together. It was a relationship unlike anything Dan had even experienced.

 

“Can I get you anything to drink?” Phil asked, once he’d welcomed Dan inside and shut the door behind him.

 

“I’m alright for now,” Dan replied. “Thanks though,” he added, glancing around the apartment. It had the same vibe as the SCC building, clearly decorated by the same person. But where the office was bright, lively and professional, even with it’s relaxed atmosphere, Phil’s apartment was different. It was still colorful and lively, but it also had a ton of personality shoved into every corner. Each shelf a bit cluttered with figures from games and stuffed toys. DVDs and books packed in among the quirky objects.

 

“Sorry it’s a bit messy,” Phil said as he noticed Dan looking around. “I don’t have company often,” he added, taking his hat and scarf off Dan and hanging them on the coat tree by the door. 

 

“Neither do I,” Dan agreed, unsure if he should enter more into the apartment and take a seat on the couch or continue standing around in the small hallway, awkwardly pulling at his sleeves.

 

Phil put his arm around Dan’s waist from behind and lead him into the apartment. “Take a seat,” he said warmly. “I’m going to go take out my contacts cause they are getting annoying,” he added, giving a smile before walking off down a different hallway to where Dan assumed the bedrooms and bathroom must be.

 

Dan did as Phil said and took a seat on the comfy sofa, he felt safe in Phil’s quiet apartment. The whole place smelled fully of Phil which was oddly comforting. Still a bit cold from the chilly air, he took a fluffy fake fur throw of the couch and draped it over himself, snuggling into it with a contented sigh, felling the tension leave his body.

 

Phil returned only a quick minute later with a wide smile and his glasses on his face. “Glad you made yourself comfortable,” he said, coming over to sit beside Dan on the couch. “You look cute,” he added, playing with one the curls of Dan’s hair that had fallen in his face.

 

Dan blushed, suddenly thinking back to what Cynthia had said. Phil really would be easy to fall for, gentle, sweet, and touchy, all things Dan looked for in a partner. The fact that he was incredibly gorgeous was just an added bonus. “I’m not cute,” Dan replied, tone neutral.

 

“Agree to disagree,” Phil responded with a grin. “Want me to order pizza?” he asked. 

 

“Yeah sure,” Dan replied. 

 

They went over all the pizza toppings, happy to know they agreed on what was good and what wasn’t when it came to the oh-so important discussion on what should and shouldn’t be on pizza. They made a decision on what they wanted and Phil called in to order. Dan insisted on getting potato wedges and the full selection of dips. 

 

“Yes, I want all of the dips,” Phil said into the phone, finishing up the order. “I know, but I want all of them. Yes, I do realize that, okay, thanks.” Phil hung up and turned to Dan. “That guy must think I’m crazy,” he said with a laugh.

 

Dan shrugged. “Not my problem,” he responded with a chuckle. Phil shoved him gently and he smiled wider. “Want to play a game while we wait for it to arrive?” Dan asked, feeling the warmth of Phil’s closeness coming through the blanket. Part of him wanted to snuggle closer, but he resisted that part of himself.

 

“Sounds good,” Phil replied. He climbed into the floor and opened a cupboard under his TV. “What do you want to play?” he asked, moving to the side so Dan could see the selection of games. 

 

“Woah, you have a lot of games,” Dan stated, looking at Phil’s large selection. He seen they ranged from old NES games all the way to the most current systems. 

 

Phil laughed. “I choose to spend my money on weird things,” he replied.

 

“I appreciate it,” Dan responded. “Games are way better than a fancy car or something.” He climbed onto the floor beside Phil to get a better look at the game selection. “I have an idea,” Dan said. Phil looked at him in interest. “How about we play Mario kart and the loser has to answer the door.”

 

“That sounds fair,” Phil replied. “I don’t want to answer it and see the judgemental look on the person face when they have to deliver an entire bag of dips.”

 

Dan laughed. “They shouldn’t dip shame me,” he replied. “Dips are the best part, the potato is just a carrier for the dips,” he explained, acting like it was very important and also a known fact.

 

“Whatever you say,” Phil replied with a chuckle.

 

They spent the next half an hour playing together. Dan won the first set of four races and Phil won the second. “All or nothing!” Phil declared seriously as they started the next set of races.

 

“I will take you down Lester,” Dan responded, taking it as seriously as Phil. They realized they were both competitive and getting way too invested in such a silly game, which just added to the overall fun of it. Dan hadn’t met someone in a long time who was as into games as he was and Phil was a nice change.

 

Dan cheered loudly when he pulled ahead of Phil at the very last second and won the last set of races. “That’s not fair,” Phil said with a pout. 

 

“What’s not far is the fact that you got a bullet-bill three times and a blue shell twice,” Dan responded. “If you’d won, that would have been bullshit.”

 

Phil laughed but conceded. “Fine, you win,” he agreed. “I’ll go get us some drinks for when the food arrives.” Phil got up off the floor where they’d stayed seated, and headed to the small attached kitchen to pour them drinks. “Is coke fine?”

 

“Yeah, that works,” Dan replied, turning off the TV so the menu song wouldn’t play on loop while they ate. 

 

Before Phil’s feet hit the kitchen the buzzer went off letting them know the food had arrived. Phil buzzed the person into the building and waited by the door for the food. Dan listened as the man arrived and Phil chatted with him. He couldn’t hear most of what was being said, but he heard them both laugh. When Phil stepped back into the main room a couple minutes later he had a wide smile.

 

“You better not have been laughing at my dips,” Dan said defensively, moving to sit up on the couch.

 

“No, not at all,” Phil replied. “He was actually an old friend of mine,” he added. “Well, not so much a friend as someone I went to school with.”

 

“Oh, that’s cool,” Dan replied. “Hey, Phil?” he questioned, turning around on the couch so he could watch the other man.

 

“What?” Phil replied, looking at him from across the room as he got their drinks ready, placing the food on the counter for a minute. 

 

“Would you consider us friends?” he asked, casually. He had assumed that Phil shared his feelings about them being friends but he hadn’t considered that maybe Phil was just this friendly with everyone.

 

Phil chuckled and approached him, passing him one of the glasses of Coke. “Of course,” Phil answered. “Do you not consider us friends?” he questioned.

 

“I hoped we were,” Dan answered honestly. “I just wasn’t sure if you acted this way with everyone, you’re a very friendly person Phil.”

 

“I try to be,” Phil replied. “I’m actually nervous around a lot of people, so although I am friendly I don’t have many friends,” he explained. “I feel like I can be myself around you though,” he added with a smile, coming over and placing the food and drinks on the coffee table.

 

Dan turned back around to face the food. “Yeah,” Dan agreed. “I feel the same,” he added.

 

Phil grinned. “Want to do this more often?” he asked, opening up the food boxes and shoving a potato wedge in his mouth.

 

“Yeah, I’d like that,” Dan replied, reaching into his bag and taking out all of the different dips, lining them up in a row across the front of the table. Phil started laughed and he pushed him, starting a small play fight that only stopped because they almost tipped over the small ranch pot and Dan realized the risk of play fighting around food.

 

They ate and talked for awhile, no pressure to keep a conversation going as they happily made their way through the whole pizza. Somewhere in the middle of it they put on Netflix and clicked some random show for background noise. By the time the food was just empty boxes they were invested in the show and sat in silence as they watched it together. 

 

Dan wasn’t sure when it happened exactly, but they ended up under the same blanket, pressed together in a half cuddle. He might not have known when or how it happened, but he knew he liked it. Liked the feeling of safety he got from being beside Phil. They both lost track of time until Netflix popped up with it’s annoying “Are you still watching?” menu, shaking them from their state where time didn’t move.

 

“It’s getting late,” Dan mused, looking at his phone.

 

“I didn’t realize that much time had passed,” Phil replied. 

 

“Neither did I,” Dan agreed. “Guess we got sucked in,” he added with a chuckle. “I should head out though. I don’t have anywhere I need to be tomorrow, but I don’t like taking the bus in the early hours of morning.” Dan reluctantly moved away from Phil, standing up and stretching his arms.

 

Phil nodded. “You see the weirdest things on the bus in the early hours,” he agreed. “I can drive you home,” he added, getting up from the couch as well.

 

“It’s okay, I’m a grown man I can handle it,” Dan replied. “Thanks though,” he added.

 

“Are you sure?” Phil asked, his expression showing his concern.

 

“Yeah, I used to do it all the time when I stayed out late,” Dan answered, grabbing his bag and heading to the door.

 

“Okay, text me when you get home?” Phil questioned.

 

“Will do,” Dan agreed, it was cute that Phil worried over him. “Thanks for having me over,” he said with a smile. “It was really nice.”

 

“Anytime,” Phil responded. “Really, anytime, I am home alone pretty much whenever I’m not working,” he added with a laugh. 

 

“I would make fun of you if I wasn’t in the same boat,” Dan replied, laughing with him.

 

“We’ll have to do this often then,” Phil said. He put his arms out and Dan quickly stepped into his embrace, hugging him tightly for a moment. “See you soon,” Phil said as they separated. 

 

“Yeah, If I’m bored I might come bug you at work tomorrow,” Dan teased.

 

“Please do,” Phil replied with a wide smile. 

 

Dan gave him a smile and a wave, heading off towards the elevator to leave and head home. The fact that Phil wanted him around was nice, Dan had never felt so wanted, not even in his own home growing up. Was It so wrong for him to want that? 

 

When he got home he texted Phil to let him he’d made it home and got an instant reply from Phil, telling him thanks, and that he should get some rest. Dan was exhausted and didn’t even changes his clothes, he just pulled off his jeans and jumper and climbed into bed. Thoughts of Phil still on his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been feeling a bit unmotivated creatively because of stress so chapters might be bit slower while I work though it. Thanks so much for all the support though, it really does mean the world to me. Nothing makes me happier then seeing people tell me that my writing made them smile, sometimes when I'm really feeling unmotivated I go back and read comments to remember why I do this. 
> 
> Love you all and I hope you're well <3


	13. Chapter 13

Dan woke up quite late the next day, stumbling out of bed and taking a shower before starting his day. He got breakfast -which as always was a bowl of cereal- and sat down on the couch to check his phone for the first time that day. He seen a bunch of messages from Phil and read them as he ate.

Phil: Hey Dan, just wanted to let you know his video is up for those who have the subscription to our website.

Phil: If you want access just let me know and I’ll make you an account.

There was a break in the timeline of the texts, those had been sent in the early morning hours at around 9 and the rest were sent only a bit ago at 11:30

 

Phil: I don’t recommend reading the comments, even though I delete any that are negative because I don’t put up with that, it can still be weird to see people talking about you sexually.

Phil: That being said, I just want to let you know it’s been really well received.

Phil: Everyone likes you and they think we have good on-screen chemistry :)

Phil: There is already a good amount of demand so if you want to film together again just let me know. Also I sent your paycheck to your Paypal account.

 

That was the end of the text chain so Dan flipped from his messaging app to his email, curious about the paycheck. Phil had discussed the payment with him but he wasn’t sure what the actual amount would be. He seen a deposit of $1200 and almost dropped his phone. That was what Dan was used to making in a month, and he barely worked more then 2 hours. 

 

On top of that it was the most enjoyable work he’d ever done, all he had to do was have sex with a gorgeous man. He knew a lot of porn stars worked hard and didn’t have it as good as he currently did, but he barely considered what he was doing work, it was something he liked doing which had never been what work was like for him before.

 

He texted Phil back quickly. 

Dan: I got the payment. Thanks so much!

Dan: I really wasn’t expecting that, I will be able to pay my rent now, maybe even catch up on back pay haha.

Phil: No need to thank me, that’s the pay.

Phil: It is a bit higher though because it is your first time, the extra $200 is a first time bonus.

Dan: Okay, that’s fine! I’d still love to film again.

Dan: Let me know when works for you :)

Phil: I’m currently out to lunch but when I get back to the office I will check my schedule and let you know :)

Dan: Great! Enjoy your lunch! :D

 

Dan sent half the payment to his landlord right away, not wanting to be tempted to spend it. He wasn’t used to a check of this size and part of him was telling him to go buy some nice clothes. He’d always been a fan of the finer things in life, he’d just never had the income to support it, but maybe he could now, if he kept this up.

 

Phil called him later that day and they made arrangements for the Monday which was four days away. Dan wrote it down on his calendar and then they spent the next few hours talking on the phone while Phil did paperwork and Dan painted his nails.

 

When Monday came around Dan was definitely excited. Besides wanting to see Phil again, he also had that nervous excitement at the idea of getting to be intimate with him again. He hadn’t had sex with anyone besides himself and his small toy collection since the last time they’d filmed and he was more than ready to feel that with another person again. 

 

He’d gotten a text from Phil that said to just head back to his office when he got there, so he bypassed Cynthia, just giving her a quick wave and headed straight to Phil’s office. “Hey,” Dan said with a smile as he slid open the glass door.

 

“Hey, Dan” Phil replied, getting up from behind his desk. He approached Dan and they hugged for a moment before pulling apart. “How are doing today?” Phil asked. He noticed Dan had left his hair curly and he smiled widely as he played with one of the curls.

 

“I’m good,” Dan replied. “Excited to film again,” he admitted. “Is that weird?” he questioned.

 

“Not at all,” Phil answered. “I’m excited to film with you again also,” he added. “I like the hair,” he mused, running his hand through it once more.

 

“I’m not so sure about it, but I thought maybe something a bit different might be nice,” Dan replied. “I brought my straightener just in case though.”

 

“No, I think it’s perfect like that,” Phil responded. “Take a seat and let’s discuss,” he added, taking a seat on the couch and gesturing for Dan to sit down beside him.

 

Dan didn’t hesitate anymore, after hanging out with Phil at his place, sitting together seemed normal. “What are we discussing?” Dan asked, taking a seat and turning to Phil.

 

“Well,” Phil said. “I was wondering what kind of scene you might want to do. We can stick to something plain and simple like last time if you want, but I think if you’d be willing, it might be nice to try something a bit different,” he explained, pushing up his glasses and looking over a piece of paper in his hand.

 

“Sure, I trust you,” Dan replied. “What did you have in mind?” he asked, trying to glace at the paper Phil had in his hand. He noticed it was his Daniel DreamX Profile and blushed slightly, it was weird to see someone looking a list of your kinks. 

 

“Most of our kinks and preferences overlap so I was wondering if you’d be comfortable doing something with more of a kink focus?” Phil questioned. “Nothing hardcore,” he added, comforting Dan’s nerves before they had a chance to cause him distress.

 

Dan flushed. “Yeah, I’d be okay with that,” he replied. 

 

“Why don’t you tell me what you might want to try?” Phil asked. “I’ve done pretty much everything, so I think you should choose.” 

 

Dan fidgeted with hem of his t-shirt, wishing he had long sleeves so he could make himself feel more hidden. He still felt shy discussing sexual things with Phil, despite knowing it was silly. “Dan, this is a safe space, it’s only you and me,” Phil reminded with a kind smile. “No one’s judging you in here.”

 

Dan nodded. “Could we do something where you’re the dom?” he questioned, voice soft and timid.

 

Phil smiled wide. “Of course,” he replied. “Do you want to elaborate on what you want?” he questioned. When Dan gave him a bit of a confused look he spoke again. “Do you want more of a soft gentle dom, or something that feeds more into your dirty talk and humiliation kinks?”

 

Dan felt his face go red. “Phil!” he whisper-shouted. “Do you have to be so blunt? Geez.” He dropped his eyesight, not wanting to look at Phil’s gorgeous eyes behind his sexy glasses.

 

Phil chuckled. “I could try to use metaphors but I am very bad at them and often make things sound filthy by mistake,” he answered. “It’s not a big deal though, either way is perfectly fine,” he added. “And you have nothing to be embarrassed about, remember these are my kinks to.”

 

Dan nodded, a small timid nod. “I’d rather more of a strong dom than a gentle one,” he muttered, still feeling shy about it. No one ever let him be open about that side of himself so he’d never really spoken the words out loud.

 

“Okay,” Phil responded, his voice gentle. “I would love to be your dom for this evening,” he added. He cupped Dan’s face and lifted till there eyes met. “Are you sure about this?” he questioned, seeing the hesitation on Dan’s face. “You can back out, no hard feelings.”

 

“I’m sure,” Dan replied. “I want this,” he added. “I’m just going to be nervous until we get into it,” he explained. “Right now it’s hard to picture because I see you as the dorky guy I’m friends with, but I know once we get started I’ll feel comfortable in a more submissive role.”

 

Phil smiled. “I promise I will take good care of you,” Phil replied. “Only the best for my baby boy,” he added with a wink.

 

“Don’t start with that until we start filming or I will have problems,” Dan responded with a pout. “It’s not fair to take advantage of my kinks.”

 

“I wouldn’t recommend telling me what to do, darling,” Phil replied, his tone dark, but his eyes letting Dan in on the joke. 

 

“I fucking hate you,” Dan replied, his voice soft and teasing. 

 

“Noted,” Phil replied with a warm smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have realized this is probably going to be even longer then originally intended because I am the WORST at sticking to any kind of writing outline even when I do write them (which is rarely) but anyway. Not so sure how the next chapters gonna go as I'm not the best at writing anything BDSM-ish but I'm excited to try! ^^
> 
> Oh and I do realize that $1200 is a lot for a first time male actor in porn (Yes I researched this, my search history is filthy from this story ^^;) but because this is more specialty porn I'm having them pay more. Also in an ideal world people would be properly compensated for their work and my story takes place in an ideal world.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! <3 
> 
> And to anyone to said they hoped I felt better soon I am definitely doing better and excited to get back to writing! ^^


	14. Chapter 14

Phil took Dan into a different room then the one they’d used before. This one had a dark duvet and an assortment of black throw pillows. Glass side tables bracketed the bed; roses and candles placed on top of them. The walls were still pale, not white but a pale grey. The whole room had more expensive feel to it, dark and romantic. 

 

“Do you need to do any prep before we start?” Phil asked as they entered into the room.

 

“No, I think I’m good,” Dan replied, taking in the room. “This room is really nice.” Unlike the other room that Dan thought looked like a fancy hotel that would be lovely to stay in but not something he’d want to live in, this room was his taste, looking more like the bedroom he’d want to have if he had money.

 

“I thought the dark colors might suit the scene more,” Phil stated. “Do you agree?”

 

“Yeah, I think it will help me get in the right headspace,” Dan agreed. He flopped down on the large comfy bed and stared up at the fancy light fixture on the ceiling.

 

“I’m going to go change before we start filming but I’ll be back in a minute, is it okay if I send PJ in?” Phil asked.

 

“For sure,” Dan replied, curious as to what Phil was going to put on. He was currently dressed in pretty basic clothes, black jeans and a blue button up, similar to Dan’s own outfit of black jeans and a grey t-shirt.

 

Phil nodded and smiled. “Okay, I will be back, hit the button if you need anything,” he reminded, gesturing to the button that was in the same location despite the room change.

 

Dan made a noise of agreement and Phil left the room, leaving the door open. Dan looked around while he waited for PJ to join them. He found out the flowers were fake, which wasn’t surprising, based on the plants in Phil’s office, but they looked real enough. “Hey,” PJ said as he entered into the room with his camera equipment.

 

Dan turned to face him and smiled. “Hey,” he replied with a wave. “How’s it going?” 

 

“Good,” PJ replied. “This is my last shoot for the day and then I got dinner with my girlfriend,” he added, taking his place in the corner of the room and starting his set up.

 

“You’re straight?” Dan asked. He hadn’t thought much about PJ’s sexuality since it wasn’t his business, but he wondered if shooting gay porn was weird for a straight guy.

 

“I’m currently in a committed relationship with a female,” PJ answered. “Labels don’t matter to me much,” he explained with a smile.

 

“Understandable,” Dan replied. “Just wondered if that made shooting this stuff a bit weird.”

 

“The opposite actually,” PJ replied. “I work here only shooting male porn,” he added. “I personally find it a bit weird filming naked women so I stick to men.”

 

Dan nodded. “Makes sense,” he replied. “Can I help with anything?” he asked, gesturing to PJ’s camera set up.

 

“Yeah, actually, I could use another set of hands,” PJ answered with a warm smile. Dan moved down on the floor and helped him with his tripod.

 

Phil returned only a minute or two later, the door opening and alerting them of his entrance. Dan looked up and for a split second his brain turned off. Phil was dressed in a skinny tailored black suit, the jacket left open and the crisp white dress-shirt underneath tucked in, the top buttons undone. His hair was extra styled and his glasses had been replaced with contacts. 

 

“Damn,” Dan said, not trying to hide his staring. “You can work a suit.”

 

Phil chuckled. “Thank you,” he replied. Dan could pick up on his slight voice change and the way his mannerisms were just a bit different. He was getting into character and his character was one Dan was extremely attracted to. “Do we need to go over the rules again?” Phil questioned, leaning against the tall dresser by the door.

 

Dan got up off the floor and climbed back onto the bed. “Red means stop, yellow means slow down, green means I’m into it. If I have any issues I need to speak up right away or else you’ll call it quits and we can’t work together. If I have an issue the button is there to call Cynthia, and we can cut around anything that doesn’t work so I shouldn’t be afraid to speak up.” Dan recited the spiel to the best of his ability.

 

Phil grinned and nodded. He took a lighter off the dresser and approached the left nightstand “Is it okay if I light these?” he asked, gesturing to the candles. Dan nodded, feeling oddly shy speaking to this person. This person who was familiar and yet different, it was exciting.

 

Phil lit the candles, the subtle vanilla scent adding to the atmosphere. When he came around to the side of the bed Dan was on, their eyes met and the tension between them was palpable, Dan swallowed and blinked, every action seemingly forced despite it’s normality. 

 

“This is ready whenever you two are.” PJ spoke, breaking the tension and bringing Dan back to reality. 

 

“Are you ready Daniel?” Phil asked, his accent thick and his voice deep and husky.

 

Dan liked when this version of Phil called him Daniel, the way he said his name like he owned him. It was a unique feeling. “Yes, sir,” Dan replied, feeling his face heat. Phil went to speak, but Dan cut him off. “Wait,” he said quickly, pulling Phil a bit closer. “Can I kiss you before we start?” he asked quietly, embarrassed for PJ to hear.

 

Phil smiled warmly and cupped Dan’s face, pressing their lips together, firm but also gentle and soft. Dan had almost forgotten the way his lips felt pressed to his own. The memory distant yet feeling like yesterday. It had been awhile since he’d kissed someone else, but he was sure that kissing had never felt like this before. It never felt so right. Their lips moved together for a brief moment before Phil pulled back, giving Dan another smile. Dan smiled and nodded. “We’re ready,” Phil said, turning to PJ who gave a thumbs up and clicked the record button. 

Again Dan felt nervous at the start, feeling his anxieties and self imagine issues gnawing at his mind. “Daniel, look at me,” Phil said sternly from the end of the bed. Dan snapped his head up, his eyes meeting Phil’s. Phil smirked. “So you’re going to be good tonight?” he asked, eyebrow raised.

 

For a split second Dan wanted to call red, he didn’t think he could be this open with anyone, not even with himself. He had never let himself have this and everything in his mind was fighting against it. His eyes were still glued to Phil’s and after a second without a response his eyes softened and he gave Dan an encouraging smile. “Yes sir, I will try,” Dan replied with a firm nod.

 

“Try?” Phil snickered. “Well then, I will try not to punish you,” he replied. Dan felt his heart skip, they had barely started but this was already thrilling. Phil stepped up closer and placed his hand on Dan’s cheek, coaxing him up into his knee’s so their lips could meet again. Phil smirked against Dan’s lips, already feeling the change in his demeanor, he was pliant and willing to follow without resistance wherever Phil wanted to lead.

 

“I will be good,” Dan corrected when their lips separated. “I will be good for you, sir,” Dan flushed at the name, he and Phil hadn’t discussed what Dan was to refer to him as during a scene like this, but Phil had gone along with it so he stuck with it, assuming it must be okay.

 

“Of course you will be,” Phil replied, ruffling through Dan’s beautiful curly hair with a gentle touch. He felt Dan press up into his touch like a cat and couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped past his lips. Dan somehow appeared so small and a bit fragile despite his height. Phil moved his hands from Dan’s hair down to his chest and pushed, knocking him back on the bed.

 

Dan let out a small startled yelp and looked up at him with wide eyes. Phil smirked and climbed on top him, pinning his arms above his head with one hand and using the other to hold Dan’s face so he could kiss him forcefully, biting gently on his bottom lip. Dan couldn’t help but struggle against Phil’s grip, wanting desperately to be able to have his hands on the other man. He was surprised that Phil actually had a decent amount of strength, not enough that Dan couldn’t break away if he really wanted, but enough to remind him he wasn’t supposed to.

 

Dan met Phil’s lips with every kiss, enthralled by the how easily Phil could play the dominate role, and also keenly aware of how much he liked playing the submissive one. “Daniel,” Phil warned, tightening his grip on his wrists for a brief second when Dan almost got one loose.

 

“Sorry sir,” Dan apologized, right away. “I wanted to touch you,” he added, looking down shyly. 

 

“Not yet,” Phil replied with a soft grin, placing one more quick kiss to Dan’s lips. “We go at my pace,” he reminded. He kissed along Dan’s jaw, whispering when he was close to Dan’s ear. “Color?” he asked softly, playing with Dan’s hair so that his arm would shield Dan’s mouth from the camera, giving him a moment to respond.

 

“Green,” Dan replied quietly, just for them. Dan could feel Phil smile against his skin. “What if I don’t want to wait?” Dan questioned, pushing Phil to see how he’d react. Phil pulled back and gave him a glare. Dan met his eyes with blown wide innocent ones, playing his role perfectly.

 

“Oh, darling, I think you misunderstood,” Phil said, in a way that would make Dan extremely uneasy if it wasn’t Phil and if he couldn’t just safeword out whenever he wanted. “This isn’t about you, sweetheart,” he said with an airy laugh. Dan gulped loudly, Phil was way better at this than should be allowed.

 

“But-“ Dan spoke up again but was quickly cut off by Phil putting a finger over his mouth to shush him.

 

“Shush darling, sit there and look pretty unless spoken to,” he said, it wasn’t commanding but Dan knew it was an order, at least in the context of the scene. Phil connected their lips again and Dan found himself needy for Phil’s kisses, lifting his chest up off the bed whenever Phil would pull back. Phil chuckled and pushed him back down. “I’m taking my hands off, but I expect you to keep your hands above your head,” he said firmly.

 

“Yes sir,” Dan replied, hoping that counted as him being spoken to. Phil kissed down his neck and along his collarbone before pulling back and lifting the hem of Dan’s shirt, quickly pulling it off over his head. Putting Dan’s hands back in place before moving to kiss down his chest.

 

Dan overestimated his own self control and almost as soon as Phil’s hand left his wrists again he had one of his hands gripping onto the back of Phil’s shirt, without even realizing it. Phil gave him a stern look and Dan tried to work out what he’d done wrong. He quickly put his hand above his head again. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to,” Dan said, shying away from Phil’s hard stare.

 

“Be honest darling, do you need restraints or can you be good without them?” Phil asked, softer this time.

 

Dan hesitated and thought the options over in his mind. “I think restraints would help,” he replied, meeting Phil’s eyes only for a second to let him know he was okay with it. More than okay with it really, he’d always wanted to experiment in this way but never had a partner he trusted enough.

 

Phil smiled and nodded, reaching into the night table beside the bed and pulling out a set of padded cuffs. “These okay?” he asked, he didn’t whisper and for a second Dan was confused, were they openly playing a scene? Like not even acting like this was real? 

 

“Yes sir,” Dan replied. Phil smiled again and kissed his wrists before slipping each one into the soft cushioned cuff. He watched as Dan pulled at them a bit, testing the give. Phil have him a questioning look. “Good,” Dan replied.

 

Phil kissed him again. “Now, where were we?” he wondered aloud. “Oh, right.” He climbed back on top of Dan and continued his teasing kisses down his body, it was only when Phil was close to his crotch that Dan truly realized how hard he was, he’d been so focused on Phil that he hadn’t noticed it, but now it was all he could think about. Phil chuckled darkly when Dan lifted his hips a bit, trying to feel something. “You’re cute,” Phil said in the most condescending voice, holding his hips down. He unzipped them and opened the fly, mouthing at Dan through his cotton pants. 

 

Dan whined, hoping that wouldn’t break the no talking rule since he wasn’t using actual words, just noises of want, need and dissatisfaction at having to wait. Phil teased him a little longer, his hand’s roaming his body while his mouth created a hot wet patch on his boxers. “What do you want Daniel?” he asked, after another minute of Dan’s whining, a mix of annoyance and genuine curiosity.

 

Dan paused for a moment and thought about it. He hadn’t been expecting to be given choices and his brain was foggy at best, but he knew what he wanted, he wanted a re-do of last time, a proper chance to deepthroat Phil, to show off his skills. Or maybe he just wanted to impress the other man, but he wouldn’t admit that. “Can I… blow you…” he asked tentatively. Phil gave him a waiting look and Dan rephrased. “Can I blow you, sir.”

 

Phil kissed him to show his appreciation. Dan was doing such a good job at playing his role. “Yes, sweetheart, of course,” he replied. “Do you need these off?” he asked, his fingers running over the cuffs. 

 

Dan shook his head no. “They can stay on. Can you help me sit up though?” he asked, unsure how to push himself up without his hands to balance him. Phil laughed and helped him into a sitting position on the bed, waiting for instruction. Dan moved to the edge of the bed and sat facing outwards, making it clear where he wanted the other man.

 

Phil got up off the bed and moved to stand in front of him, watching with a chuckle as Dan fumbled with his trousers clasp, having a hard time with the way his hands were hooked together. When he succeeded in undoing them Phil helped with the rest of the process, opening the fly and pulling down his boxers to reveal himself to Dan and the camera.

 

Dan flushed deeply, knowing he was currently the focus of this scene. He got confidence from the fact that Phil was close to as hard as he himself was, feeling proud he had that kind of affect on someone so experienced. He calmed his breathing and looked up at Phil with wide eyes. Phil brought his hands down to grip into Dan’s curly hair and slowly guided him forward. Dan’s tongue slid out and he slowly took Phil’s cock into his mouth, getting used to feeling again. He may or may not have been practicing a bit with his toys at home, but it didn’t compare to the real thing. 

 

Phil knew he should probably be acting a bit tougher, but it was so hard to even pretend when it came to Dan. He wanted to be soft and caring, make every experience sweet. But he remembered that Dan had been the one to ask for this. “We don’t have all day darling,” he said, his tone harsh.

 

Dan swallowed hard, feeling his cheeks heat more. Now, more than ever, he wanted to prove himself. He focused on his breathing and on controlling his gag reflex, slowly but surely taking Phil all the way down, he made gagging noises a couple times times but mostly kept himself quiet, except for his contented humming. Unlike with his toys, this wasn’t just for practice, this was also enjoyable for him.

 

“Fuck, Daniel,” Phil muttered out, gripping into Dan’s hair tighter, he didn’t pull him closer or move his hips at all, far too nervous he’d hurt the other man, but he’d be lying if he said part of him didn’t want to. Dan’s throat felt amazing, but even more then that was the way Dan was so clearly intent on this happening, trying so hard because it was important to him. It was something he enjoyed and it showed, that was what got Phil the most. It was overwhelming.

 

Dan grinned internally, happy with his success, he pulled off and pushed forward again, still testing the waters before he gave Phil the go-ahead. On one push down he went too far and sputtered, pulling off quickly and coughing as spit dripped from his mouth. Phil quickly dropped to his knees to be eye level with Dan. “You okay?” he asked. 

 

Dan choked and spit a bit before he was able to nod to let Phil know he was indeed okay. “PJ, can you toss me the water?” Phil asked, turning his attention to the camera man. PJ grabbed one of the water bottles and tossed it to Phil, stopping the camera but keeping his distance, he knew when he was and wasn’t needed. “Here,” Phil said, unscrewing the cap and passing the bottle to Dan. Moving to sit up on the bed beside him.

 

Dan took a drink but it made him cough more, falling forward into Phil’s arms. “I got you,” Phil said softly, running his hands down his back. “Just breath,” he added. After about two minutes his breathing had steadied out and he sipped at the water. He pulled out of Phil’s arms and sat back on the bed. Phil remembered the cuffs and grabbed the key quickly removing them and tossing them on the bed, waiting for Dan to feel comfortable speaking before he rushed him with questions.

 

“I’m sorry,” Dan said after another moment of silence. His voice was rough and Phil cringed internally, feeling a sense of guilt.

 

“PJ, can you give us a minute?” Phil asked. “If that’s okay with you,” he added, looking to Dan who nodded.

 

“Yeah, let me know if you need anything,” PJ answered. He put his hand on Dan’s shoulder he walked passed him. Dan smiled at him and nodded.

 

Once PJ had left the room Phil moved closer to Dan, placing a hand on his. “God, Phil, I am so sorry,” Dan said again, realizing he’d made a bit of a mess on the bed. He grabbed his t-shirt off the floor and wiped his mouth and chin, then tried to clean the few wet spots on the bed.

 

Phil took the shirt from him and tossed it back on the floor. “You have no reason to be sorry, this stuff happens all the time,” he said with a soft smile. “Are you okay though, really?”

 

“Yeah, I just thought I had better control,” Dan replied, he tried to chuckle but ended up just coughing more. “Geez, I kind of suck at this don’t I?” he asked, only half joking.

 

“Don’t say that,” Phil replied. “You’re one of the best I’ve worked with, especially for someone with almost no experience in the business. You just push yourself too hard, you don’t have anything to prove.”

 

Dan blushed. “I feel like I do have something to prove,” he responded. “I feel like you’ve given me a great opportunity and I want to feel like I deserve it,” he added, drinking more of the water and feeling his voice even out a bit. “But it’s not just that,” Dan added. Phil looked at him questioningly and he continued. “I also just really wanted to show off,” he added with a grin.

 

Phil burst into laughter and fell forward, resting his head on Dan’s shoulder. Dan laughed with him and they grinned at each other when they pulled apart. “You impress me so much, you really don’t have to show off,” Phil said gently. “Though, I do appreciate the dedication, but you have to take your time.”

 

“The de-dick-ation,” Dan replied with a laugh. Phil rolled his eyes but laughed as well. Shoving him lightly. Dan shoved him back harder and Phil almost toppled off the bed, causing them to laugh more. 

 

“I’m serious Dan,” Phil said after they stopped with their antics. “You can’t rush into things.”

 

Dan nodded. “I’ve realized that,” he replied. “This was a bit of a wake up call that I can’t just force things to work.” 

 

Phil smiled warmly. “I’m glad you’re figuring that out.” Dan smiled back at him and they sat in silence for a minute while Dan downed the rest of his water. “I think you should rest here for a bit,” Phil mused.

 

“Wait, were done?” Dan replied. “I ruined it?” he added, sounding a bit sad.

 

“You want to keep filming?” Phil asked, looking almost as surprised as he was.

 

“Kind of, yeah,” Dan replied looking away. “I know I totally messed up but I kind of liked where things were going.”

 

Phil laughed. “Are you sure?” he questioned.

 

“Yes,” Dan replied. “Though I drank all of this and now I need to pee,” he added with a laugh.

 

“Okay, well, go pee, and if you want to keep filming, grab PJ from my office,” Phil responded. “It’s fully up to you Dan, no pressure.” Dan nodded and got off the bed, pulling his shirt on and exiting the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to just be smut content but It ended up being mostly fluff ^^; Oops, is what it is, might try to make the next chapter more on the smut side of things but we will see.
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3


	15. Chapter 15

Dan returned to the filming room a few minutes later with PJ following close behind him. Phil sat up on the bed, watching them as they entered, Dan’s hair was messy from their time together and Phil had such an urge to mess it up even more. “So, you really want to keep going?” Phil asked, as Dan came to stand by the bed.

 

“I’d like to, if you think we can still make something work,” Dan answered. “I was just getting into it.” That was kind of a lie, he’d been extremely into it from the first second. 

 

Phil pondered it for a moment. “Okay, if you’re sure,” he replied. “PJ, is it okay with you?” he asked, turning his attention to the other male.

 

“Yeah, as long as I know everyone’s okay than it’s fine,” PJ answered. “Just be more careful this time,” he added turning to Dan. “It doesn’t matter how long it takes to work up to things because we can cut it down if needed.”

 

“Exactly,” Phil agreed with a bright smile. “We will be going slowly from this point on.”

 

Dan nodded. “Yes sir,” he replied teasingly. Phil ducked his head and blushed. “I meant to ask, are we doing a scene inside of a scene?” Dan asked. “You seemed not to be hiding the fact that it was an act.”

 

“Is that okay?” Phil questioned. “I generally prefer to have it be clear that everything is agreed upon and that safewords are in place and all that, I don’t want people thinking that BDSM is some kind of unsafe situation where one person forces things on the other.”

 

“That makes sense,” Dan replied. “I’m fine with doing it that way,” he added, sitting down on the bed again. 

 

Phil smiled and put a hand on his leg. “You ready to get back to it?” he asked gently. Dan nodded. They worked with PJ to get the angle right again and returned to their previous positions, Dan on the bed, shirtless and cuffed, and Phil standing beside it. PJ let them know when everything was right again and they restarted the filming.

 

Phil’s hardness had gone down at the sight of a coughing Dan, his concern muting out his arousal almost instantly, but Dan didn’t mind, it gave him a better chance to get accustomed to the size and feeling, starting of slowly and building up. They knew they’d need to cut this out for consistency so neither of them was too worried about playing a role. Phil put his hands in Dan’s hair and just kind of petted him, playing with the curls and gently massaging his scalp. 

 

Dan basked in the comforting feeling of Phil’s gentle touch, no rushing or pressure, just a silent reminder that he was there with Dan, though Dan wouldn’t forget that, even with his eyes closed he was very certain of who the dick in his mouth belonged to. He hadn’t been with anyone like this in at least a few months before meeting Phil, and it was almost like he couldn’t remember it with anyone else, or like he just didn’t want to. 

 

When he could feel that Phil was hard again he opened his eyes and looked up at him, checking that they were both in agreement about the scene picking up again from here. Phil gave a firm nod. “Doing so good darling,” he said, tightening his fingers in Dan’s curls. He watched carefully as Dan worked up to deepthroating again, this time being gentler on himself. Unlike the quiet choking sounds from last time, this time the only noises were his humming and his deep breaths. 

 

Dan keened at the praise, pleased he was managing to do what he’d failed at last time. Once he’d managed to take him in fully, his nose pressing into Phil’s body; he ran his tongue along the think vain on the underside of Phil’s cock and grinned internally at the sharp intake of breath he heard from above him. As composed as Phil was trying to stay, it was quite obvious to Dan that he wouldn’t be able to last all that long like this. Dan opened his eyes again, looking up at Phil through his dark lashes, giving him the most innocent ‘fuck me eyes’ he could manage. 

 

The angle made his back arch and his butt remain higher in the air. Phil tested the waters by laying a hand on his back and slowly moving it down till it was resting on his butt check. “I guess you don’t deserve punishment because you’ve been so good for me,” he mused, tapping his fingers gently. “Shame really. What do you think? Have you been good?” he questioned, looking down to see Dan’s reaction.

 

Dan pulled off slowly with a wet pop. Strings of saliva connecting them until they broke. He bit his lip and kept his eyes locked on Phil’s. “I don’t know sir,” Dan replied. He definitely wasn’t against the idea of Phil giving him a few quick spanks for the camera, he might possibly like it even. “I think I could be better,” he added, his voice hinting at his interest.

 

Phil smirked down at him. “Hmmm…” he wondered aloud, taking a step back and admiring the way Dan’s eyes kept looking him up and down, unsure of where to focus. “Strip,” Phil said suddenly, backing up again to give Dan room to stand. Dan felt his body flush but he stood up and undid his jeans, pulling them and his black boxer-briefs down in one go, struggling with the simple task due to the handcuffs. 

 

Dan felt extremely exposed, more so than he ever had before. He was completely naked while Phil still wore his suit, looking like a rich business man, completely contrasting with how Dan looked. Dan fiddled with the chains of the cuffs, feeling self conscious, and also weirdly confident, this is the kind of light humiliation he could get behind. Phil circled him like prey before returning to stand in front of him, giving him a sweet kiss. “Always so good for me,” he said softly, kissing his cheek and then his neck. “Still green?” he asked quietly, only for Dan.

 

“Yes sir,” Dan replied as an answer to Phil’s question. “Only the best for you,” he added, to cover his answer. Phil was impressed with how quick Dan learned how to cover things or how to silently ask for them, his cues easy to read. 

 

“On the bed please, darling,” Phil said, taking a step back to appreciate Dan’s body. And appreciate he did. From the beautiful brown hair atop his head, to his dark, melting chocolate eyes. His soft face contrasting with that sharp collarbone, those soft pink nipples on his lightly defined chest, the bit of baby weight that stayed on his mid section, leading to the v of his wide hips, his cock hard and standing up, only slightly pulled down by it’s own weight, his perfect thigh and muscled calves, even his feet were beautiful. There wasn’t an inch of Dan that wasn’t made to be admired, especially with the way his freckles were scattered like fireworks across his skin. Phil was mesmerised until Dan broke him from his thoughts.

 

“Sir?” he questioned, tentatively. Phil’s eyes met his own and gave an apologetic look for getting distracted. 

 

“Sorry sweetheart, I was just distracted by your breathtaking looks,” Phil replied, playing it off as part of the scene even though it wasn’t untrue. He stepped up the bed again and rested his hand on Dan’s back. “Chest down,” he said, a gentle command. Dan listened and got into all fours, his chest and cheek against the duvet, bum in the air. “Can you handle ten?” Phil asked. “I’ll be gentle,” he added. Dan gave a nod and Phil placed his hand softly down on his butt. “Daniel, words.”

 

“Sorry sir,” Dan replied. “Yes, I can handle ten,” he repeated back. “Thank you for being gentle.”

 

“Of course, I’ll always be gentle for my good boy,” Phil replied, kissing Dan’s lower back, he avoided putting his mouth anywhere near Dan’s anus, since that hadn’t gone over well last time. He removed his hand and bought it back down, fast enough to make a noise as it hit skin but Dan barely felt it, though that could also be because his head was foggy from being called Phil’s good boy. 

 

Phil repeated the motion four more times, each time, the speed and strength increased, creating a louder noise. By the fifth one Dan was able to feel the slight sting of the slap, but it wasn’t painful, and definitely no where near safewording. Phil gently caressed his skin, listening for noises from Dan that sounded anything like a pained whine, this wasn’t actually supposed to hurt. He continued and by the last one Dan finally made a noise, a light grunt. Phil kissed the reddening spot, before soothing over it again with his hands. “So good for me,” Phil mused.

 

Phil helped position Dan so he was laying back on the bed, his back supported by pillows so his weight wouldn’t all be on his butt. Even though he had been very careful not to hit him hard there would still be slight irritation and he wanted to be aware of that. Dan held up the cuffs and pouted, hoping Phil would remove them and he’d finally be allowed to put his hands on him. Phil chuckled. “Yes, they can come off,” he said, reaching for the key on the nightstand. “No touching yourself though, okay? Only me.”

 

“I’d rather touch you anyway,” Dan replied, smiling when the cuffs came off and he could move freely again. Instantly he brought his hands to Phil’s hair and pulled him down over himself to kiss him deeply. It felt like way too long since he’d kissed him properly, and he didn’t want to stop. 

 

Somewhere during the kissing Phil had managed to grab a bottle of lube, pressing a lubed finger against Dan’s hole and looking up at him, asking for permission. “Yes, please, sir,” Dan replied quickly, he was too far gone, he needed something. Phil moved from Dan’s lips, peppering kisses all over his exposed skin, while his fingers worked him open, making sure to prep him enough to avoid pain. Dan’s breathy noises filled the room, only muted out by Phil’s mouth when he was quite literally pulled up to Dan’s lips by his hands in Phil’s hair, the youngers’ neediness taking over him.

 

Phil had to basically pull Dan’s hands off him so he could move back, Dan’s pout returning even stronger than before. Phil let out a breath laugh. “I’m just taking these off, sweetheart, I’m not going anyway,” he said, getting up off the bed and undressing, laying his suit out nicely across the end of the bed to avoid winkles. Dan’s eyes focused solely on him, his pout replaced by a look of awe, he looked at Phil like no one ever had before, it was so intoxicating.

 

As soon as every article of clothing was off of Phil’s body, Dan made a grabby motion, pleading with the the older man. Phil chuckled, obliging his request by sitting on the bed again and pulling him into a hug, holding Dan firmly in his lap. Dan’s arms locked behind Phil’s head and their lips met again, Dan trying to hold back and not fight for dominance; easily slipping back into a submissive role when Phil gripped into his hair, pulling just enough for Dan to feel a tingle at his scalp. “Do you want to ride me, darling? Or do you want to lay back and let me take care of you?” Phil asked gently, pulling back just enough to speak, their lips brushing as words left his mouth. He wanted to give Dan options, to give him some control, but he also liked to hear Dan ask for things.

 

Dan mouthed at Phil’s neck while he contemplated, both sounded good, any sex with Phil sounded good, the issue was that his brain was too foggy to really make a choice at all. “The first one,” he said, not even remembering the order of the options. 

 

Phil smirked. “Use your words, sweetheart,” he reminded, running his hand up and down Dan’s back.

 

Dan leaned in closer and whispered in Phil’s ear. “Phil I am so gone, I don’t even know what I just asked for,” he admitted. 

 

Phil chuckled. “Are you too aroused to focus, baby boy?” he asked. Dan nodded instantly, feeling relief at Phil covering for him. “Okay, sit up,” Phil added, lifting Dan’s hips. He reached into the pocket of the trousers he’s laid across the bed, pulling out a condom. He ripped it open carefully and slid it into himself while Dan just stared, his eyes unfocused. “Come here,” Phil said sweetly, putting one arm back around Dan’s waist and using the other to angle himself right to slid into Dan. “Is this okay?” he checked, knowing that Dan would be able to understand what was happening now.

 

“Yes, want to ride you, sir,” Dan replied, looking at Phil, his eyes so dark and yet bright. Dan replaced Phil’s hand on his cock with his own, slowly easing himself down onto Phil, small noises escaping them both as they finally felt something more than kisses and hands. Dan took his time, remembering Phil’s advice about going slow. Phil gave him a soft smile and he smiled back, putting both his arms back around Phil’s neck as he sat down, bum against Phil’s thighs. They both moaned and Dan hugged Phil close, he didn’t know why he felt this clingy. Sure, he was a touchy person during sex, but never to this extent, never to the extent where he thought he’d lose his mind if he couldn’t hold onto Phil. Like Phil was the only thing keeping him grounded. 

 

Phil sensed Dan’s change in attitude and kissed his forehead gently, holding him tight. “I’ve got you,” he whispered, only for Dan to hear. Dan hugged him impossibly closer and Phil knew he’d heard him. It was an awkward angle, but Dan managed to lift himself and drop back down on Phil, letting out a breathy moan when he felt that electric sensation of Phil rubbing against his bundle of nerves. Phil moved his hands back to Dan’s hips and helped him with the up and down motion, both of them quickly turning into a mush of noises and wet kisses, the lead up too long and drawn out for either of them to have a real chance at lasting. 

 

“You feel incredible, baby boy,” Phil said, using one hand to brush Dan’s curly bangs from his face so their eyes could meet again. Dan’s eyes were pleading with him, silently begging Phil to finally touch him. Phil swore he could hear Dan saying please. He brought his hand down in between them to wrap around Dan’s cock, hard and wet at the top from precome. “You can come whenever you need to, okay darling?” Phil said, wanting Dan to know he didn’t need to hold off. 

 

“Thank you,” Dan muttered, his pace increasing as he chased his own high, Phil helping him by lifting his own hips to meet Dan’s on every down stroke. Dan mumbled out something about coming but even he himself didn’t know what he was trying to say. Phil moved his hand in a different way, bringing Dan to exactly the point he needed to be at. He moaned loudly as he came over Phil’s hand and their stomachs, his heart raced and his thighs trembled, his moans turning into an almost whine as he clung to Phil. He felt Phil adjust them as if to pull out and he stopped him. “Keep going, want to feel it,” Dan said, hoping that wasn’t against the rules, Phil was still wearing a condom so there wasn’t any real risk.

 

Phil nodded, adjusting them so that Dan was laying on the bed and Phil was over him, still wrapped around each other but in a position that was easier for Phil to hit his own breaking point. Dan didn’t know how much time passed, or what really happened, all he was focused on was the feeling of Phil, the weight on him, the warmth inside him, the scent in his nose, the taste in his mouth, everything, it was all Phil, and he basked in it. 

 

He was only brought back to reality by the loud grunt as Phil came inside him, the condom stopping any real feeling of it happening, but he knowledge that he could get the other man off was what Dan wanted more than anything else. He opened his eyes, not realizing he’d closed them. “Hey,” Phil said, his bright blue eyes meeting Dan’s.

 

Dan giggled. “Hey,” he replied. Phil pulled out and tossed the condom in a waste basket by the bed, leaning back over Dan to kiss him, it was soft and gentle, no dominance behind it. Phil bought one hand up to cup Dan’s cheek, rubbing his thumb in circles. “You back with me?” he asked quietly, nervous a loud voice might shock him.

 

“Yeah, I’m here,” he replied, he brought his own hand to Phil’s face, wanting to stare into his eyes for a long as possible.

 

Phil smiled, happy Dan seemed like himself. “How are you feeling?” he asked.

 

Dan grinned, a goofy grin he’d most likely be embarrassed of when he seen it back. “Really good,” he replied, kissing Phil again. 

 

“Good,” Phil responded. “You did so wonderfully,” he added, sitting back a bit. He took some wetwipes out of a box on the nightstand and wiped Dan’s stomach off, then his own, getting another and wiping between Dan’s legs to clean off the lube. He ran his fingers gently across where he’d spanked Dan earlier. “Does this hurt?” he asked, his face showing concern.

 

“Just a bit,” Dan replied honestly. Phil nodded and reached into the nightstand, pulling out a small tub of some kind of cream. 

 

“How about your wrists?” he asked, running his fingers across the skin there. He didn’t see a mark, but he wanted to ask anyway to be sure.

 

“Those are fine,” Dan replied. “What’s that?” he asked, pointing to the cream in Phil’s hands. 

 

“It’s a soothing gel,” Phil answered. “Can you roll over for me?” Dan did as he was asked and rolled over onto his stomach. “It might feel a bit cold at first,” Phil said, scooping up some of the gel and spreading it on Dan’s skin. Dan took a sharp intake of breath when the cooling sensation hit him, but when it was replaced with a soothing feeling he relaxed again. Phil leaned over his body and lifted Dan’s face to give him one more kiss. They separated with smiles on both their faces. Phil moved to lay beside him and put his arms around him, making Dan the little spoon. They stayed like that for only a moment before Phil pulled back.

 

“Cut,” Phil said, moving off of Dan and sitting beside him on the bed. Dan blinked, he’d forgotten they hadn’t called cut yet. He looked over and seen PJ flick off the camera. “How was that?” Phil asked, looking to PJ.

 

“Good,” PJ replied. “I will have to cut a few things here and there for times sake, but I think you’ll be very pleased with the end result. He come over and passed them both a bottle of water. “Can I get you guys anything else?” he asked.

 

Dan shook his head, not wanting to speak. The sudden separation from Phil hitting him like a punch in the got. “I’m good, thanks though,” Phil answered. “Can you give us a minute?” he asked.

 

“Sure,” PJ replied. “That good with you?” he asked, bending down to meet Dan’s eyes. Dan nodded. “Okay, let me know when I can come back and pack this stuff up.” PJ left the room, closing the door behind him. 

 

Dan rolled back over and looked at Phil, unsure as to what to say. Phil got up off the bed and grabbing one of the robes for himself, pulling it on and tossing the other at Dan, who just laid it across himself, not wanting to stand up yet. “Why didn’t you call cut right after the sex?” Dan asked.

“I think it’s important to show aftercare,” Phil replied. “In reality a dom shouldn’t leave a sub right after sex, unless they agreed on it based on personal preferences.” Dan nodded, that made enough sense. “Of course, we can cut it if you’re not comfortable with it,” he added.

 

“It’s fine,” Dan muttered, curling in on himself.

 

“How are you doing?” Phil asked, coming to sit beside him again. He could tell that something was off with Dan.

 

“I don’t know,” Dan replied. “I feel cold,” he added, sitting up.

 

“Do you want to get in the bed?” Phil asked. “Or I can get Cynthia to bring you a blanket.”

 

“Not that kind of cold,” Dan replied. Phil moved over, closing the gap between them so they were sitting side by side. Up close he could notice the slight way Dan’s body shook. “You’re alright, Dan” Phil said gently, placing his hand on Dan’s arm. 

 

Dan hadn’t noticed the tremble of his arms and legs until Phil spoke. “Sorry, this is just weird.” He laughed, but it was a fake laugh.

 

Phil nodded in understanding. He reached his arms out and smiled when Dan moved closer so Phil could wrap his arms around him in a hug. He felt Dan’s arms wrap around his back and then heard the younger start crying. He leaned his head back to look at Dan and wipe the tears on his cheeks. “What’s wrong, talk to me?”

 

“Can we just stay like this for a bit?” Dan asked, his voice shaky.

 

“Of course,” Phil replied, doing his best to comfort Dan with gentle touches and soothing words. “I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere.” When he felt Dan’s breathing return to normal he pulled back just enough to look at him. He was no longer crying. Phil reached for a tissue off the nightstand and wiped his eyes. “Why don’t we get in the bed?” Phil suggested. Dan nodded and they both got up, lifting the covers and climbing underneath together. Dan quickly returning to be wrapped around Phil. 

 

“I don’t know what’s up with me,” Dan said quietly.

 

“Dan, have you ever done something like this before?” Phil asked, running his hand through Dan’s soft hair. Dan shook his head no. Phil kissed his forehead, forgetting for just a second that they weren’t filming and he shouldn’t have done that. “I didn’t know,” Phil said. “I would have explained better,” he added. “Being submissive is emotionally freeing and also draining depending on the situation, it can be a lot,” he said gently. “It’s normal to be clingy or emotional afterwards, okay?”

 

“Yeah, normal with a partner,” Dan replied. “I bet I can guess the number of times this has happened to you after filming, and I’m guessing that number is one.”

 

Phil chuckled. “That may be true, but that doesn’t make it wrong,” he replied. “This is part of aftercare, and aftercare can be part of the work.”

 

“You’re nice Phil, but you don’t have to stay with me, I’ll be okay,” Dan responded. 

 

“I know,” Phil replied. “But I’d like to stay, if you’ll let me.” Dan didn’t answer but he snuggled in close to him. Phil again felt the urge to kiss Dan’s forehead or his cheek or give him a quick peck on the lips, but they hadn’t discussed affection like that out of filming and with Dan being in this state now was not the time to discuss it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ended up being much longer than I'd intended but I didn't want to cut it short because aftercare is so important to me as well as communication during sex so whatever, a longer chapter is good sometimes. I'm not the most knowledgeable on Dom/Sub relations, although I have studied it some I feel like everyone does it differently, so if you want to correct me feel free to do so in the comments, I am very open to learning and fixing things ^^
> 
> Also on a side note, I want to thank the people who commented on the last chapter. When it comes to anything sexual I am really insecure about my writing because I don't think it's a sexy kind of smut, but this is just what I'm more comfortable with, I'd rather people feeling an emotion reading my work than to feel turned on. Though that's fine too, I have no issue with media made for that purpose. So yes, my insecurity made writing this chapter a bit harder but the comments made me feel like maybe my way of doing things, though maybe not the norm, is okay. So thank you <3


	16. Chapter 16

The next night Dan was sitting home alone with a glass of wine, sitting on the couch and thinking about the day before and his time spent with Phil. After they’d finished with the filming and had a talk, they’d fallen asleep together, wrapped in each others arms. Dan had woken up about an hour later, finding himself alone in the bed, his arms wrapped around a pillow. He’d felt a sense of dread, like maybe he’d pushed things too far and made Phil uncomfortable. Maybe he’d gotten the wrong idea.

 

He’d rolled over and found a note laying where Phil had been. “I’m sorry Dan, Cynthia needed help so I had to go. I’m in my office if you need me, don’t leave without saying goodbye :)” Dan read it and smiled wide, hugging the pillow to his chest. He had gone to the office and hugged Phil again before leaving for the night, after assuring Phil at least ten times that he was feeling much better. “Call me if that changes.” Phil had replied, as he waved at Dan as he left the building.

 

Now, thinking back on it with a bit of a clearer mind, Dan realized he wasn’t scared Phil would get the wrong idea about how he felt, he was worried Phil would get the right idea. That Phil would notice the feelings Dan now realized he had been developing from the first time they’d met. Cynthia’s words played back in his head. ‘Be careful, Phil is easy to fall for’ Dan sighed, downing the last of his glass of wine and laying out on the couch. 

 

He had ignored feelings before, he could do it again. But ignoring feelings for a straight friend was a lot easier then trying to ignore feelings for a person he knew was into men, someone he’d already had sex with, someone who he connected with so easily. He adjusted so he was lounging dramatically, arm across his forehead, even though no one else was around to see it.

 

He pulled his phone from his pocket, grabbing his empty wine glass and taking a selfie with it to show his current mood. Maybe he was a bit of a whiny bitch sometimes, but his feelings were valid and he wanted to sulk a bit. A pity party was no fun by yourself. He posted the selfie to his Instagram. “Deal with my feelings? No thanks, that’s what wine is for. #wine #drinkingalone #selfie #singleasfuck” He wrote the caption and posted it. 

 

He scrolled though other peoples posts as he waited to see if anyone would comment. He got a couple comments from people in similar situations agreeing that wine was better than feeling. He replied with simple comments and didn’t pay them much mind. But he seen one comment that sparked his interested. It was from an account that followed him recently but was private, the name not one he was familiar with and normally he would ignore it, but the comment told him who it was. “If you’re lonely you should give me a call – Kyler”

 

Dan blushed, he didn’t know Kyler had followed him. He clicked his account and sent him a follow request. It got instantly accepted and sent him a DM.

 

Dan: Sorry, didn’t know this was your account, I would have followed back sooner.

Kyler: It’s fine, I have it on private for a reason ;)

Dan: Yeah, why is that?

Kyler: Don’t want people who used to follow my work to be involved in my personal life, I have a public twitter if they want to message me or tag me in stuff.

Dan: Makes sense, I guess I hadn’t thought about that. 

Kyler: You don’t have to yet if you’ve just started, but be aware and be careful, yeah? I’m sure Phil’s keeping on eye on everything so I’m not too worried about you.

Dan: Haha, yeah, he makes sure I’m careful. 

Dan really didn’t want to think about Phil right now, this whole thing was supposed to be about getting Phil off his mind. He hadn’t been with anyone since meeting Phil so maybe he just needed a one night stand to make him loss some of that attachment.

Dan: So about your number…  
Dan: I may have lost it….

Kyler: Wow, really? Guess it wasn’t that important then huh?  
Kyler: I’m kidding, I’ll send it to you again.

 

Dan sighed in relief, glad Kyler wasn’t actually mad at him, the truth was that he’d washed his jeans with the note still inside the pocket and the ink had all run together. He hadn’t been too worried because he knew Phil would have Kyler’s number if for some reason he needed it again. He added Kyler’s number to his phone and gave him a call, feeling his anxiety rise as the phone rang. 

 

He heard the click of the other end being answered and heard the slightly southern kind of gravelly but also soft, valley girl accented voice that was instantly recognizable even though they’d only met a couple times. “Hey, Dan, how’s it going.”

 

“You seen my post, you know how it’s going,” Dan replied with a chuckle. “How’ve you been?” he asked, sitting up on the couch so his voice didn’t sound as weird.

 

“I’m good, just living life,” Kyler replied. “I teach art now; I don’t know if Phil mentioned that.”

 

“No he didn’t, that’s really cool,” Dan responded. 

“I’m actually in town right now cause I have a small art showing this Friday,” Kyler replied. “I sent Phil an invite, you should come too.”

 

“I’d love to come and support you,” Dan responded with a smile. “I don’t have a lot of friends here so I want to be supportive of the ones I have.”

 

“That’s sweet,” Kyler replied. “I’ll send you the details later,” he added. “I’m alone tonight too.” His implications were quite clearly flirtatious, and Dan couldn’t say he was uninterested. Kyler was kind, cute, and he had experience. 

 

“You can come over if you want,” Dan responded, matching Kyler’s flirtatious tone. 

 

“I would be up for that, nothing serious though on my end, I don’t want to be misleading,” Kyler replied. 

 

“Don’t worry, were on the same page,” Dan replied. “I’m not looking for a relationship at all right now.” That was sort of a lie, but he wasn’t going to tell Phil’s friend that he was only interested in a relationship if it was with Phil himself. And anyway Dan wasn’t even sure he wanted that.

 

“Alright, text me your address and I’ll be by in a bit,” Kyler replied. 

 

“Great, see you soon,” Dan replied. They hung up and Dan sent Kyler his location, he trusted him, he was Phil’s friend and Phil wouldn’t be friends with anyone he couldn’t trust. Dan showered and dressed in a nicer set of clothes than the lounging one’s he’d been in. Even though he didn’t need to make the best impression since they were both in understanding that this was a one-time thing, he still wanted to look presentable when Kyler arrived.

 

It was almost an hour since their call when Dan heard the buzzer to his apartment. “Hey, come in,” he said, buzzing Kyler into the building. He poured two glasses of wine and set them down on the coffee table as he waited for the knock on his door. It came only a minute later and he went over to it, opening it and letting Kyler inside. He’d forgotten how much smaller the other man was, or rather how much taller he himself was. 

 

Kyler entered into the apartment with a smile, kicking off his shows and instantly making himself comfortable in Dan’s space. Dan envied that ability, he never felt comfortable in new places, expect for Phil’s place, he felt comfortable there. Phil, again it came back to him. He dropped the thought and went to sit down beside Kyler on the couch. “Did you find the place okay?” he asked, making small talk. He’d never a one-night-stand sober and didn’t know how to act.

 

“Relax Dan,” Kyler replied with a chuckle. “You don’t have to make small talk like this is some kind of first date,” he added, picking up one of the glasses of wine and taking a sip. “You also didn’t have to change,” he added, gesturing to Dan’s new outfit. Dan had forgotten that it would be obvious he’d changed since Kyler had seen a pic of him only an hour earlier.

 

“Right… Sorry, this is a bit new to me,” Dan replied, reaching for the other glass. Kyler put his hand over Dan’s and moved it away from the glass. Dan gave him a questioning look.

 

“I don’t know how much you’ve had to drink and I’m not risking you being unable to consent,” Kyler answered. “To be fair, I won’t drink either. I just wanted a sip.” He put the glass down on the table. “Do you want to talk for a bit?” he questioned, leaning back against the couch.

 

“Honestly? Not really,” Dan replied. 

 

Kyler raised an eyebrow at him. “You sure? No pressure if you’ve changed your mind.”

 

“I’m sure,” Dan replied. Leaning over Kyler’s body and kissing him. They made out on the couch like teenagers, neither in that much of a rush to move things along. Dan did his best to block out the thoughts that this just wasn’t the same as kissing Phil. Kyler was good, he was gentle when he needed to be and rough at just the right moment, but it just wasn’t Phil. He pushed the thoughts aside again Cynthia’s words replaying in his head. ‘Be careful, Phil is easy to fall for.’ Clearly this had happened before, he wasn’t the only one and the others must have gotten passed it.

 

Dan laid back and Kyler laid on top of him, his weight not all that noticeable. He placed kisses on Dan’s neck, his marks adding to the one’s Phil had put on him the day before. Phil again… “Fuck it!” Dan cursed loudly. 

 

Kyler pulled back. “Dan, are you okay?” he asked, sitting up and looking at him.

 

“I’m sorry Kyler, I can’t do this,” Dan answered. “I thought I could but I’m just not a one-night-stand kind of person.”

 

Kyler laughed. “No hard feelings,” he said with shrug, moving off of Dan completely. “I hope I didn’t push you.”

 

“No, not at all,” Dan assured. “I was lonely and I thought sex would fix it, but I don’t think it will.”

 

Kyler nodded. “Probably for the best anyway, I’m pretty sure we were both planning on bottoming,” he said with a chuckle. Dan laughed and nodded. “Will you still come to my art show?” he asked.

 

“Of course, I wouldn’t miss it,” Dan replied. “Sorry you wasted your time coming all this way though,” he added, looking down, he felt a bit guilty, but he couldn’t go through with something he didn’t want. He wouldn’t put that guilt on someone else if they ever found out.

 

“It’s not a waste, I still got to see you,” Kyler said with a smile. “Do you want me to go? Or can I stay for a bit?”

 

“Stay as long as you want,” Dan replied, feeling comfortable again. 

 

Kyler passed him the glass of wine. “Now you can drink as much as you want,” he said, taking a drink from the glass he’d had earlier. 

 

Dan clinked his with Kyler’s and took a drink. “To your art show,” he said with a smile.

 

“Thanks,” Kyler replied. “Want to see some of work?” 

 

“I’d love to,” Dan replied. 

 

They sat side by side on the couch, drinking wine and looking at art together, and although it was nothing like Phil and not at all the night they’d had in mind, it was nice. Exactly what Dan hadn’t known he’d needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weird writing Dan with someone else even if it's only for a small section aha ^^; Just a bit of a shorter chapter to lead into the next one.
> 
> Thanks for reading <3


	17. Chapter 17

Friday rolled around and Dan was looking forward to going to Kyler’s art show. He’d never been to an event like this before and his nerves were definitely present, but he wanted to be there for his new friend. Knowing Phil would be there calmed him down but it also added a different kind of nervousness; that butterflies in your stomach kind. The show was in the evening so he did his best to keep himself busy throughout the day to avoid overthinking how the night could play out and convince himself not to go.

 

Around 5:00 in the afternoon Dan had a quick bite to eat, before jumping in the shower. He spent almost an hour fixing his hair the way he wanted it, then went to his closet to try on everything he owned. He considered himself fashionable and was interested in trends and keeping current with his looks, but he wasn’t sure what the dress code was for an art show. Was he supposed to look artsy? Were suits expected? He didn’t have a clue, so he did what he’d gotten used to doing every time he was unsure of something, he texted Phil.

 

Dan: Hey Phil, what are you wearing to this thing tonight?

Phil: I don’t know, I hadn’t thought too much about it, I just got home.

Dan: Really? I’ve been thinking about it all day ^^; I’ve never been to an art show before.

Phil: Haha, don’t worry about it, it’s mostly going to be Kyler’s friends and none of them will judge you. Just wear whatever you want.

Dan: Wow, that’s really helpful, thanks Phil *sarcasm*

Phil: You look good in everything, Dan, don’t worry about it.

Dan:…. Fine.

Phil: Want me to pick you up on my way? We can go together.

Dan: Phil Lester! Are you asking me on a date? :O  
Dan: Kidding obviously. Yes, I’d appreciate the ride.

 

Dan wasn’t fully kidding, he wouldn’t mind it being a date, but he wasn’t going to push his luck, going with Phil as friends was still better than going alone.

 

Phil: Okay :) I’ll be by to pick you up in an hour.

Dan: See you then :)

 

Dan looked in the mirror, staring at himself and trying to see himself the way Phil seemed to see him. Did Phil really think he’d look good in anything? Phil looked good in everything, of that Dan was sure. If Phil modeled clothing Dan would buy anything he tried to sell him. He shook the imagine of Phil from his mind and returned to his wardrobe. He wanted to look at least a bit dressed up, so he chose a white, short sleeved button-up and paired it with his non-ripped black jeans and a black cardigan. He left the top few buttons on the shirt undone and decided he looked good enough. With Phil beside him he doubted anyone would notice what he was wearing anyway.

 

His suspicions that no one would be looking at him, were confirmed when Phil arrived to pick him up. He was dressed in black jeans, very similar to Dan’s own, but he’d paired it with a quirky navy colored corgi button-up and a black blazer, left open for a more casual appearance. He also had his quiff styled to perfection and his black glasses framed his eyes. Dan was definitely staring. “You good look,” Dan said, trying his best to say it like a friend and not like someone who had a crush.

 

“Thanks, so do you,” Phil replied, giving him a bright smile. Phil had come up to the apartment to walk back down to his car with Dan. “How are you doing today?” he asked, holding the apartment door open for Dan.

 

“Thanks,” Dan replied, stepping out into the cool night air. “I’m doing good, I’m a bit nervous, but I’m excited for Kyler.”

 

“Me too,” Phil responded. “He’s been dreaming of this for as long as I’ve known him.” Phil lead the way to where he’d parked his car and Dan followed behind him. “Have you seen any of his work?”

 

“Yeah, he showed me some of it after he invited me,” Dan replied. He purposely left out the fact that it was after they had made out and decided against having sex. When they reached his car Dan was a bit surprised at how normal it was. Phil mentioned it not being a sports car, but Dan wasn’t expecting such a practical car, the kind a mother would own.

 

“I’m glad he felt comfortable sharing it with you,” Phil said, unlocking the car. “He’s a pretty private person these days.” He went to open Dan’s door for him, but Dan stopped him.

 

“I can open my own doors Phil, been doing it for years,” Dan teased, getting into the car. “Was he not always a private person?” he asked, once they were both inside.

 

“Quite the opposite, he used to be really open and I think it caused him some issues, he didn’t discuss it with me that much because he said he’d rather just move passed it,” Phil answered. “But that’s part of the reason I am very careful with what we share about our models at SCC, I don’t want anyone having issues,” he explained. “If anyone ever contacts you and makes you uncomfortable you can send them right to me and I will handle it. I have a great legal team ready just in case.”

 

“Kyler mentioned something about that to me,” Dan mused, looking out the window as Phil pulled out of the parking lot. “Should I be worried?” he asked, turning his attention back to Phil.

 

Phil sighed. “I wish I could promise you that you have nothing to worry about, but when it comes to anything that involves showing your face online, I can’t promise that. Some pornstars have had obsessed fans or stalkers, and sadly creeps come with the work. But I can promise I will do everything I can to keep you safe and keep those kinds of people away from you,” Phil said.

 

Dan nodded. “I trust you, I’m not too worried cause you’re my boss and I know you’ve got my back,” he replied.

 

Phil smiled wide. “Of course Dan, I always have your back,” he agreed. “Speaking of work though, PJ has the rough cut done of the scene we filmed on Monday, you’ll have to let me know when you have free time to go over it.”

 

“I’ll check my schedule later and let you know,” Dan replied. “I can probably make most days work though, so we should plan around you.”

 

Phil laughed. “I will get back to you tomorrow then, because without my day planner I have no idea when I am doing anything,” he responded.

 

Dan laughed. “You still text me twice a day to remind me to eat, I am in no place to judge,” he replied. “And yes, before you ask I did remember to eat.” Phil smiled at him and he smiled back, the car falling into a comfortable silence before Dan flicked the radio on and they sang along to their joint favorite band.

 

It wasn’t long before Phil was pulling into the parking lot of a small artsy looking building. Every inch of the brick walls was painted; covered in various art pieces, clearly all done by different artists. “Wow,” Dan said quietly, admiring the building. “This place is really cool.”

 

“It is,” Phil agreed. “Kind of odd that I never noticed it before,” he added. “Guess I’m not as cultured as I’d like to think,” he said with a chuckle.

 

“You work too much to be cultured,” Dan replied, teasingly. “Maybe we should look up some cool local art galleries and check them out together sometime,” he said, only realizing after he said it that it sounded like a date. “I don’t have any other friends to go with, and going alone seems boring,” he added, hoping that would cover it. It was the truth anyway, he didn’t have friends and he did hate being in public alone. But he also liked the idea of doing cute date things with Phil, even if they were just friends.

 

“That sounds like a fun idea,” Phil replied with a wide smile. “We will definitely make plans to do that.” He parked the car and turned it off, removing the keys. “You good?” he asked, turning to Dan.

 

“Yeah, let’s go,” Dan replied, opening his car door and stepping out. Phil fell in step beside him and they walked together, arms brushing against each other with every couple steps. Phil opened the door to the building and they were instantly hit with noise. There was live music, a pianist and a violinist playing classical music together in one corner of the room, there was also an open bar and a good sized crowd of people. “Woah, this isn’t what I was expecting,” Dan said, looking around.

 

“I hadn’t even thought about what to expect,” Phil admitted with a sheepish laugh. He searched the room for Kyler, having a hard time spotting his short frame in the crowd. “Do you see him?” Phil asked, looking to Dan.

 

“Nope, but I see a bar serving vodka so I’m heading that way,” Dan replied with a laugh, separating himself from Phil. “Want anything?” he added, turning back to look at the other man.

 

“Not right now, thank you though,” Phil replied. Dan walked off towards the bar and Phil scanned the room again, he heard the sound of Kyler’s laugh and followed it until he saw his friend talking with a few people all standing around one of the art pieces. Phil waved and smiled, not wanting to interrupt the conversation.

 

“Excuse me,” Kyler said politely, backing out of the conversation and turning to give Phil a hug. “Thanks for coming,” he replied.

 

“Of course Ky, I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Phil replied, giving him a wide grin. “Everything looks amazing,” he added. “I mean, your art is great obviously, you know I believe that, but the whole set up here is really nice.”

 

“Thanks,” Kyler replied with a smile. “I’ve been working on it for awhile, you know this has always been a dream of mine.”

 

“Yeah, I’m glad I got to see it come true,” Phil responded, hugging Kyler again.

“Have you seen Dan?” Kyler asked, as he and Phil took a step apart, looking around the room for another freakishly tall person. “He told me he was coming.”

 

“I picked up Dan on the way here, we didn’t spot you when we came in so he’s at the bar,” Phil answered with a laugh.

 

“I am not surprised honestly,” Kyler said, chuckling. “If you see him, wave him over,” he added, looking through the people and not seeing him.

 

Phil scanned the room, tall enough that he could see over most people and spot the other tall person. “I see him,” Phil said, waving his hand to get Dan’s attention. Dan stepped through the small crowd and came over to stand beside them, pink fruity drink in hand.

 

“This place looks incredible, Kyler,” Dan said, putting his arms out to hug him. Kyler hugged him quickly before pulling back. “Also these drinks.” Dan gestured to the drink in his hand. “These are top notch.”

 

Kyler laughed. “I’m glad you think so,” he replied. He looked at Dan and suddenly noticed the hickeys he’d let on his neck were visible with the way Dan was wearing his shirt. “Dan, you might want to button that up a bit more,” he teased, gesturing to the marks on his neck. “I mean; I don’t mind but you might.”

 

Dan looked down to try and see what Kyler was talking about. “What’s wrong,” he questioned. “Phil’s got his shirt unbuttoned at the top and you’re not nagging him about it,” he teased.

 

Phil turned his attention to where Kyler was looking and blushed. “Oh, Dan,” he ran his fingers down the side of Dan’s neck. “Are these still from Monday? I didn’t mean to leave such a mark. Does it hurt?”

 

Dan flushed, pulling away from Phil’s touch, he suddenly realized what they were talking about. He passed his glass to Phil so he could button up the shirt, before quickly taking his drink back and downing it. “Don’t worry about it Phil, it wasn’t you,” he replied, feeling he’s cheeks heat.

 

“Oh, right, of course not,” Phil responded. “That would be concerning if it was,” he added with an awkward laugh. He hated that a small part of him wished they were his marks. That just a tiny part of his brain felt jealous or mad even though he had no right to feel that way. Of course Dan would find someone, either a boyfriend or a one-night stand, he was gorgeous, surely Phil wasn’t the only person to notice that. He couldn’t help but scan the room quickly, reaffirming his idea that Dan was the most attractive person in the room. In Phil’s eyes he was the most attractive person in any room he entered.

 

“How many people noticed do you think?” Dan asked, his eyes cast down.

 

Kyler laughed. “Dan, these are mostly my friends and I lot of them are either in porn or used to be in porn like myself, no one cares about a hickey mark I assure you. I just thought I’d mention it so you didn’t feel embarrassed later.”

 

“Thank you,” Dan replied. “That would have been humiliating for me.”

 

“I’m going to go get a drink,” Phil said suddenly, heading off in the direction of the bar.

 

“Is it just me or is he acting weird?” Dan asked, knowing Kyler had known him longer.

 

Kyler smirked. “Isn’t he always acting weird,” he answered, purposely being vague. “If you think something’s wrong you should talk to him,” he added.

 

“Yeah, I’ll do that,” Dan replied. “You go work the room,” he added, seeing someone trying to get Kyler’s attention.

 

Kyler smiled. “Thank for coming Dan, I appreciate your support.” Dan smiled back and gave a small wave as he watched Kyler head towards another small group of people. Dan moved to where the music was and took a seat on the floor, leaning against one of the wood pillars that were scattered throughout the brick building. He watched as the pianist moved her fingers quickly across the keys. He missed playing, it had been so long since he’d played music.

 

“There you are,” Phil said, coming over and taking a seat on the floor beside Dan. “Mind if I join you? I don’t really want to talk with people I don’t know,” he added giving an uncomfortable chuckle.

 

“Yeah it’s fine,” Dan answered. “I didn’t want to either,” he agreed. He looked over and noticed Phil had two drinks. “Is one of those for me?”

 

Phil passed him one of the glasses. “Yeah, thought you might want another.”

 

“Would I ever,” Dan replied, taking it and sipping at it slowly. “I used to play piano,” he mused, his eyes having returned to the hands dancing across the keys.

 

“Really?” Phil questioned, his own eyes focused solely on Dan. “Why did you stop?”

 

“Couldn’t afford one once I moved out of my parents’ place,” Dan answered. “I promised myself I’d pick it up again in the future but I’m not so sure now.”

 

Phil moved a bit close to Dan till their arms were brushing. “I’d love to hear you play someday,” he said. “I bet you play beautifully.”

 

“What makes you think that?” Dan questioned, looking to Phil.

 

“Everything you do is beautiful,” Phil replied, giving Dan a soft smile. Dan smiled back.  Phil leaned back against the pillar and closed his eyes, out of all the people he could have developed feelings for he had to pick the one person he knew he shouldn’t. He now had more of an understanding of what it had been like for the people he’d used to work with that had confessed feelings for him.

 

Dan leaned over and rested his head on Phil’s shoulder and Phil put his arm around Dan’s waist, sitting together in their own little world they’d created amongst the crowd, no words being shared between them, just their body heat and the shared comfort that they brought each other. “Thanks,” Dan whispered as they stopped one song and started another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just want to give a shout-out to one of readers who had now become the Beta reader for this, helping me fix some of the word mistakes I make ^^; Thanks Autumn! <3
> 
> This is one of those chapters that popped up out of nowhere, I had no intention of there being an art show, but somehow it happened haha, (Kyler does to art though which is why I picked it) this is what happens when you don't make yourself a story outline of any kind ^^; But anyway I am enjoying writing it even though I am as in the dark as the rest of you on what's going to happen next.
> 
> Thanks for reading <3


	18. Chapter 18

Later that night, after the art show, Phil drove Dan back to his place. He had stayed sober enough, only having a couple sips of his cocktail, but Dan on the other hand had gone back for refills a couple times and was a bit beyond tipsy. The ride back to Dan’s place was uneventful, the alcohol made him sleepy so he spent the drive laying sideways in the passenger seat, with Phil’s blazer tucked up under his head like a pillow.

 

Dan’s eyes were closed and it allowed Phil to glance over at him whenever they hit a red light, he looked peaceful and beautiful. Phil resisted his urge to reach over and brush the hair that had fallen in front of his face away. Something about the way Dan looked when he was tired, that defenseless, vulnerable, smallness, Phil felt the need to protect him, to put a hand on him so that he’d know he was there.

 

They came to a red light and Phil stopped the car, turning to actually look at Dan, he had unbuttoned his shirt again so he wouldn’t feel choked by it as he rested, the hickey was still visible and Phil hated how much he wanted to ask questions about it. About who it came from. It wasn’t his business, and from a professional standpoint it wasn’t appropriate, but he wondered if he was allowed to ask as a friend. He tried to convince himself he only wanted to ask because he was worried about Dan, but he never had been good at lying, not even to himself.

 

Dan partially opened his eyes, looking up at Phil. “What are you looking at?” Dan asked, the softness of his sleepy voice taking Phil’s breath away for a split second.

 

Phil looked back to the road. “You,” he answered honestly. “I was checking to make sure you didn’t look like you might be sick,” he added though it wasn’t the truth. The light changed to green and he moved his foot from the brake to the pedal.

 

“Sure you weren’t just checking me out?” Dan teased, a smile spreading across his face.

 

“That’s it, you got me,” Phil replied, teasing with him.

 

Dan chuckled and sat up, done with trying to sleep in the car. “I knew it,” he replied. “Can’t blame you,” he added. “I mean, who doesn’t get turned on by a slightly drunk, slightly sweaty, tall dork with hobbit hair.” Dan pulled down the car mirror and tried to fix his appearance a bit.

 

Phil laughed. If only Dan actually knew. “Truly, irresistible,” Phil replied. “Clearly someone agreed,” he added, gesturing to the mark on Dan’s neck. He saw an opening and he had to take it, his curiosity getting the better of him. He chose to call it curiosity and not jealousy, he wasn’t a jealous person.

 

Dan flushed. “Lay off,” he said, looking actually annoyed. He lifted the collar of his shirt to hide it again.

 

They were at Dan’s apartment building so Phil pulled into the parking lot and into a space, parking the car and turning in his seat to face Dan. “I’m sorry, did I cross a line? I was just joking.”

 

“It’s fine, I’m just not proud of it,” Dan admitted.

 

Phil smiled at him gently. “There’s nothing wrong with a one-night stand or a quick fling or whatever, you shouldn’t feel embarrassed or ashamed of that,” Phil replied, getting the impression it wasn’t a boyfriend. He hated the relief that washed over him at the thought that it was meaningless sex.

 

Dan laughed, hiding his face in his hands. “What about a one-night stand that you can’t go through with? That’s pretty embarrassing.”

 

Phil hesitated, he had a feeling he was walking on thin ice here. “Dan, did you have an issue… umm… getting it up?”

 

Dan grabbed Phil’s blazer and slapped him with it playfully. “No!” he yelled. “Geez Phil, you of all people should know I don’t have issues with that.” Phil laughed, taking the blazer from him. Dan blushed. “I just, I realized I wasn’t emotionally up for a sober one and done situation.”

 

Phil nodded. “That’s understandable. I’ve been doing porn for years, but I still don’t enjoy meaningless sex in my personal life,” he replied.

 

“Really?” Dan questioned, looking at Phil with uncertainty.

 

“Really.” Phil answered. “It’s never been something I was interested in, I enjoy it for work, but that’s also because I normally have a friendly relationship with the people I film with. I don’t find sex with a stranger appealing.”

 

“Yeah,” Dan agreed. “I don’t think I do either.”

 

Phil smiled at him. “At least you learned something about yourself, that’s a positive. You shouldn’t be embarrassed. I hope the other person was understanding though.”

 

“Extremely so,” Dan replied with a smile. “Thanks Phil,” he added. “I feel a bit less weird now.”

 

Phil laughed. “Glad to have helped,” he replied. “Can I help you get upstairs?” he asked, gesturing to the building Dan lived in.

 

“I think I’ll be good,” Dan replied, opening the car door and stepping out. He leaned his head back in. “Thanks for driving me, and just… Thanks in general for being a good friend.”

 

Phil beamed. “You’re a good friend too, Dan,” he replied. “Have a good night,” he added. Dan smiled and gave a quick wave before shutting the door and walking towards his building. Phil sat in the car and watched as he walked away, he wanted to be sure Dan got inside safely, and even then he’d wait a couple minutes to make sure he got to his apartment. It faced the front of the building so Phil would see when he flicked the lights on.

 

He leaned back against his seat and sighed, Dan calling him a good friend made him feel guilty for the feelings he was having, he couldn’t really control them, but he could do his best to hide them. He knew he’d never let them get out of control, Dan’s friendship was more important to him than some crush and he’d never want to make the younger man uncomfortable. He looked up and noticed the lights were on in Dan’s apartment. Phil smiled, starting his car again and driving away.

 

When he got back to his own dark, empty apartment he flicked on the lights and flopped down on the couch. Ever since he’d had Dan in the apartment, he really noticed the absence of another person. It was so lively and welcoming when Dan was there, but when he wasn’t it was just four walls and some furniture. He chuckled at his own self pity, he knew by the morning he wouldn’t feel this way. He couldn’t. He promised he’d wake up tomorrow and ignore any and all feelings beyond friendship that he may feel. But for tonight he let himself miss Dan’s presence. Let himself hug the blanket Dan had snuggled with and pretend for just a second. Because tonight he could blame it on the alcohol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since people seemed to like getting to see things from Phil's point of view I decided to make an extension of the last chapter written from his POV. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3 And thanks to the readers who asked for jealous Phil cause this whole arc came from those comments haha.


	19. Chapter 19

It was a few days after the art show when Dan had arranged to meet with Phil at his office to go over the footage from the last shoot. His nerves were much less this time since he already knew what to expect. He was mostly just excited to see Phil again, they hadn’t talked much since the art show and he missed his voice. They still texted daily though, normally quite a bit. Enough that Phil offered to pay his phone bill if he exceeded his limit. Dan didn’t take him up on the offer though, instead he got a better phone plan, now that he was actually making enough to support himself; as long as he kept up the work.

 

Since he was only going to see Phil he didn’t bother straightening his hair, it wasn’t worth the time, but also he liked how when his hair was curly Phil would almost always find a reason to play with it. He pulled on his normal black jeans and his oversized black and white striped jumper, grabbing his messenger bag and rushing out the door to catch the bus.

 

The bus came early and didn’t end up making too many stops, so Dan arrived half an hour before the time he and Phil had planned to meet. “Hey Cynthia,” he said with a smile as he pushed open the heavy glass doors to the building.

 

“Hello,” Cynthia replied. “You’re here to go over the footage with Mr. Lester, correct?”

 

“Yeah, I’m a bit early though so I can wait if he’s busy,” Dan replied, going over to her desk to talk with her.

 

“Yes actually, he had to go meet with someone outside the office for lunch and hasn’t returned yet,” she said, glancing down at some papers in front of her. “He should be back soon though,” she added, scribbling on a note. She really was always working.

 

“Okay, that’s fine, I’ll wait,” Dan responded, taking a seat down on the couch. It was easy for him to get comfortable here now. It almost felt like his second home. If he was being honest this almost felt more like a home because it was lively and felt more supportive and caring than any home he’d been to in a long time.

 

“Let me know if I can get you anything,” Cynthia said with a polite smile, looking at him for only a second before returning her attention to her work.

 

Dan pulled out his phone and scrolled a bit through Instagram, but he realized he wasn’t even looking at the pictures, he was too busy trying to think of a way to bring up what Cynthia had said before and ask her questions. “Cynthia?” Dan spoke up, getting her attention. She looked up at him with a curious expression. “Can I ask you something?”

 

“Of course Mr. Howell,” she answered, putting her elbows on her desk and concentrating on him.

 

“I’m curious about something you said before,” Dan said. Cynthia gave him a look of ‘keep going’ so he elaborated. “You said before that Phil is easy to fall for, what did you mean by that?” he asked, trying to look as unbothered as he could, like it was just a casual question and not something he’d been thinking about most days.

 

Cynthia chuckled. “I mean that he is exceptionally friendly, he’s very open, often says things without thinking them through first, gives compliments like it’s as easy as breathing and gives his full attention to the people he cares about, which includes everyone he works with,” Cynthia said. “That’s not something a lot of people are used to, it can become almost addicting in a way, that feeling of importance, like you’re special and he’s the only one that sees it.”

 

Dan nodded, he knew that feeling, he couldn’t disagree with her that it was addicting, especially to Dan, someone who no one ever really assigned worth to. Someone that was never anyone’s first pick, never the most important. But Phil? Phil made him feel wanted, like when they were together nothing else mattered. And yes, when he was with Phil he did feel special. He almost hated hearing that everyone else felt the same, he wanted to think it was only him, that Phil only acted that way with him. “Yeah, I can see what you’re saying,” Dan responded.

 

Cynthia broke her professional character and leaned closer to Dan. “It’s also a lot harder when you first start out in this business, it’s easy to think of the sex as something more than just work,” she said, giving him an understanding smile. “You’re always welcome to talk to him, remember that.”

 

Dan smiled and nodded. “I would if there was an issue,” Dan assured. “I really was just curious,” he added knowing it was mostly a lie. “I was wondering if he often had guys all over him or something.” Dan laughed at the image of Phil trying to do paperwork with a bunch of guys hanging off him.

 

Cynthia chuckled. “No, he handles those situations quickly, makes sure it’s clear that the feelings are not reciprocated and then finds the best solution for each person. Sometimes that means still working together but not filming together, other times it means finding them work with another agency that Phil trusts,” she explained.

 

“Right,” Dan replied. “Guess it would make filming together difficult,” he mused.

 

Cynthia nodded. “I feel for them though, I almost had a crush on him when I started working here. If he was a woman I would have been head over heels,” she said with a laugh.

 

Dan laughed as well but it was forced, he was currently having an internal breakdown at the idea of not being able to film with Phil anymore. The idea of filming with someone else wasn’t appealing to him in any way, and although he could get another job he really liked working with Phil. He spent his days looking forward to when he’d get to see him again. “I should let you get back to your work,” Dan said, trying to hold back his breakdown from showing. “Thanks for answering my questions.”

 

Cynthia smiled and returned to her working position. “Of course. That is what I am here for,” she replied. “You can wait in his office if you’d like,” she added.

 

Dan flushed, he had a feeling she knew he was mid crisis, maybe it showed on his face, or maybe she was just really perceptive. “I think I’ll do that,” he said, getting up and walking down the hall to Phil’s office. He rushed inside and closed the door quickly behind himself, taking a deep breath. Phil’s scent all around him calming him down almost instantly. He sighed, taking a seat on one of the couches. This job and his friendship with Phil was more important than anything, he could move past feelings. He’d just have to be careful with what he said, luckily Phil was pretty comfortable with friendly flirting so he didn’t have to be too cautious.

 

Dan took his phone back out and sent a quick text to Phil.

Dan: I’m in your office, not sure what’s taking you, but you better get your ass back here.

Phil: Sorry Dan, the meeting ran late. I should be there in about 20 minutes.  
Phil: Is that okay? Or should we reschedule.

Dan: It’s fine Phil, I’m just teasing.  
Dan: I’m entertaining myself by going through your computer search history.

Of course Dan wasn’t actually doing that. He was just laying on Phil’s couch and staring at the ceiling while he waited for Phil to text him back. Luckily Phil replied quickly, probably in the back of a cab or something.

Phil: Haha, feel free. I don’t keep anything private on my work computer.

Dan: So what I’m hearing is that I need to check your home one?

Phil: Maybe.  
Phil: But for that you’d need to be in my house.

Dan: True.  
Dan: I know where you live, I will come by with pizza and you won’t be able to resist letting me in.

Phil: Says the man who told me he didn’t like cheesy porn writing.

Dan: Are you saying you have sex with your pizza guys? Cause I didn’t imply that.

Phil: You don’t know what I do ;)

Dan: Pretty sure I do, mate.

Phil: Fine, you got me. I order a pizza for myself and then sit on the couch watching TV and eating the whole thing ^^;

Dan: Surely half a pizza would be enough.

Phil: Maybe, but then what would I do with the other half?  
Phil: Ohhhhh….  
Phil: Yeah, you can join me if you want.

Dan: Geez, took you long enough to get the hint. I mentioned being in your house like 15 texts ago.

Phil: Next time just ask.

Dan: Maybe this is more fun for me ;)

Phil: *eye roll*  
Phil: See you in a bit.

 

Dan didn’t bother replying to that, Phil would be at the building soon enough. He got up again, checking the one living plant in Phil’s office, surprised to find it had been watered. Maybe Phil wasn’t the worst at keeping plants alive all the time. Or maybe he just watered it because he knew Dan was coming. Judging by the state of said plant, that was the more likely of the two.

 

He heard the door to the office open and spun around, expecting it to be Cynthia. He saw a man and freaked for a second before he actually looked and saw it was PJ. “Oh hey, Dan. Sorry, didn’t expect you to be in here,” PJ said, standing by the door.

 

“It’s fine, I was just expecting Cynthia so your height threw me off,” Dan replied. “You can come in,” he added, noticing that PJ hadn’t stepped a foot inside.

 

PJ nodded and entered the office, setting up a laptop on the table. “Did Phil tell you he was running late?”

 

“Yeah, he texted me that he should be here soon,” Dan replied. “Is that the footage?” he questioned, gesturing to the screen.

 

“It is,” PJ replied. “You can start going over it now if you want, Phil can always go over it later.”

 

“It’s fine, I’ll wait. I’m not in a rush,” Dan responded. “How are you?” he asked, sitting back down on the couch.

 

PJ took a seat on the one across from him, closing the lid on the laptop so it wasn’t in-between them, blocking their view. “I’m doing good,” PJ answered. “Phil’s been letting me shoot some stuff in the building on my days off.”

 

“Oh? What are working on?” Dan asked, interested in the things PJ did. He was a fascinating person.

 

“A short film right now, but hopefully someday I’ll be working on a big film,” PJ answered, his eyes lighting up when he spoke about it. “Phil lets me use all the camera equipment and everything, he really supports my dream.”

 

“That’s really cool,” Dan replied. “When you work on a big film I promise to buy a ticket and go the first day, even if it’s packed full and way too noisy.”

 

PJ laughed. “Thanks, that means a lot,” he responded. “How about you? How’ve you been?”

 

Dan made an ambiguous noise. “Up’s and down’s but I’m doing good overall,” he answered.

 

“Anything I can help with by chance?” PJ asked, giving him a gentle smile.

 

“I don’t think so,” Dan replied. “Thanks though.”

 

“No problem,” PJ replied. “Can I give you my number? Then you can call if you ever want to.”

 

“Sure,” Dan answered, passing PJ his phone so he could add himself as a contact. He smiled to himself. Phil really did pick the best people to work with. He felt like he could trust everyone here, and like they’d be there if he needed them. Who knew going into porn would be the way he’d make friends? Not him, that’s for sure. “How did you and Phil meet?” Dan asked, taking his phone back when PJ handed it to him.

 

“We’ve known each other a long time, went to college together,” PJ answered.

 

“Oh, I didn’t realize that,” Dan replied. “What was Phil like in college?” he questioned, hoping maybe he’d get some info he could use to tease Phil later.

 

PJ laughed. “For the first month he was insufferable, he tried way too hard to be cool and straight, it was so clearly not him and because of that he was often uncomfortable in the situations he got himself into,” he explained. “He realized pretty quickly that he wouldn’t be able to maintain that act and that no one actually cared if he was a cool party guy or not. After that he was pretty much the same as the guy you know now. Kind, gentle, dorky, weird, very similar, just with much worse hair.”

 

Dan laughed, he couldn’t imagine Phil pretending to be a party guy, but even he had tried to fake that lifestyle once, so he believed PJ. “I need to see photos; I can’t picture him with different hair.”

 

“I can’t either anymore, this suits him way better,” PJ replied. “I know him better than pretty much anyone outside of his family, so if you ever want to know something feel free to ask. I won’t share anything too personal though, obviously.”

 

Dan chuckled. “Is it too personal to ask if you two were ever a thing?” he questioned.

 

PJ laughed. “No, we were never a thing, not even a thought of it. I asked Phil once if he ever thought of me that way and he gave me such a dear-in-headlights look, like he never even considered it.”

 

Dan laughed. “I totally believe that,” he replied.

 

“It wouldn’t have mattered either way though, in the end we’d still be friends. Though if we had dated it might be a bit awkward since Phil is often a third-wheel with me and my girlfriend,” PJ responded. “Actually speaking of that, you should join us,” he added. “We do game nights at least once a month, you should come next time if you’re not busy.”

 

“I’m rarely busy,” Dan replied with a snort. “Send me the date once you’ve planned it and I’ll come by.”

 

“Awesome,” PJ responded. “I’m sure Sophie will love you.” He gave a warm smile. “Sophie’s my girlfriend,” he added.

 

“I assumed so,” Dan replied. “Though I was kind of hoping Sophie was the name of a cute dog because I don’t have any dog friends and I need some.”

 

“Convince Phil to get one, he’s been wanting one for years and I am sick of hearing about it,” PJ said with a laugh.

 

Dan pondered the thought. He could totally see Phil with a cute dog, but if his plant was any indication he wasn’t so sure about Phil as a caretaker. “I will work on that,” Dan replied.

 

PJ was about to respond again when they heard the door slide open and both looked up, seeing Phil smiling widely in the doorway. “That’s my cue to leave,” PJ said getting up off the couch. “Nice talking with you,” he added, putting a hand on Dan’s shoulder. Dan smiled and nodded in agreement. PJ smiled back and then exited the room.

 

“Ready to go over the footage?” Phil asked.

 

Dan got up off the couch and went over to give Phil a hug, which Phil gladly accepted, pulling him tightly against himself. “Now I am,” Dan answered.

 

Phil smiled at him, that smile that even now, knowing everything he knew, still made him feel like the most important person in the universe for just a split second, and he embraced that feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like friends are one of the most important things in life, so even though this is definitely a romance fic and heavily focused on just the main two I do want to bring in some of the other characters to flesh it out a bit more. Plus, I like writing people being nice to each other, so there's that ^^;
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading <3


	20. Chapter 20

They were in Phil’s office going over the footage together. This time instead of sitting on opposite sides of the couch, they were sitting side by side, neither of them even considering putting distance between them. Instead of the thick tension and heavy, almost hard to breath air, it was comfortable, like two friends sitting together and watching a movie, except the movie was of them having sex.

 

Only a couple minutes into it Dan reached over and paused it, speaking up. “You really do suit a dominant role,” he stated. “I wasn’t sure if I’d actually be able to go through with it, but you made it really easy.”

 

Phil flushed and ducked his head a bit. “Thanks,” he replied. “I didn’t push you though, right?” he asked. Dan chuckled, it was so like him to question each move, every decision. To double and triple check everything. It was sweet, but Dan imagined it must be tiring. He wondered if anyone ever treated Phil with the same care that Phil gave them.

 

“No, Phil, I think I was more into this than you were,” Dan responded, pressing play again.

 

“I’m not so sure about that,” Phil replied. Dan felt his face heat up, but he stayed quiet, returning his attention to the video. Even just watching it back Dan felt that same feeling inside when he watched as the Phil on the laptop screen gave orders. He felt a shiver run down his spine and moved just an inch closer to Phil, hiding it by pretending to adjust his position. Their arms were now pressed together and Dan let out a puff of air he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. When that feeling struck him all he wanted was physical contact with Phil, to feel his skin against his own.

 

“You really did look so pretty,” Phil mused, agreeing with the version of him on the screen. “I noticed you’ve stopped straightening you hair all the time,” he added, reaching a hand up to play with one of Dan’s curls.

 

Dan felt his heart jump at Phil’s touch. “Yeah, it’s not worth the bother, especially if I’m only coming to see you,” Dan replied. “I don’t need to look good for you,” he added with a chuckle. That was the opposite really, since he left it curly because he knew it was Phil’s preference, but playing it off as laziness seemed like the best option.

 

Phil nodded. “I’d always rather you just be yourself with me, no need to dress up or put on a front, you’re perfect as you are,” he replied. Dan knew that in the context of what Phil was saying he didn’t mean ‘perfect’ as in ‘perfect’, he meant it as in ‘good enough’ but that didn’t stop him from smiling, the warmth only Phil’s words could bring him spreading through his veins.

 

Phil paused again and turned to Dan. “Are you really good at acting, or did you actually forget to keep your hands up?” he questioned, lifting an eyebrow skeptically.

 

Dan laughed. “I am not that good of an actor,” he replied. “I forgot I wasn’t supposed to touch, but if I had remembered I probably still would have done the same.”

 

Phil smirked. “We will have to work on that,” he replied with a wink, making Dan go from comfortable warmth to overheated. “Assuming you want to film something with this dynamic again in the future.”

 

“I’d like to, if you think it’s a good idea business wise,” Dan answered.

 

“I’m sure it will be; I can’t imagine this not being very popular with our audience,” Phil responded. He hit play again and they continued watching. Dan noticed the way Phil shifted on the couch beside him when the Dan on screen got extra needy, his hands twitching with his desire to touch, but unable to due to the restraints.

 

He glanced at Phil when the blowjob scene started, Phil was definitely affected by this and Dan couldn’t blame him. He felt himself getting aroused by it too. PJ had cut out the part where they dropped the scene and somehow made a smooth transition into where they’d picked it back up. Dan watched himself working Phil over, wanting to be that version of him again, the version of him that was allowed to kiss Phil, to touch him all over. He had always known he was a jealous person, but he still wasn’t used to being jealous of his own self.

 

Phil paused again. “Do you want me to remove the spanking? We didn’t agree on it beforehand and I feel a bit guilty about just springing it on you mid-scene.”

 

“No,” Dan replied, looking at the screen where it was paused on a close-up of his face. He looked so lost in the scene, to the point where Dan almost didn’t recognize the look in his own eyes. “I think it fits in well,” he added. “And it was kind of fun, not gonna lie.”

 

Phil laughed lightly, shaking his head. “Maybe we will have to update your kink’s list to add a bit of pain-play,” he teased.

 

Dan’s brain told him to answer. ‘Can we just update my kink list to anything you want to do to me.’ But he didn’t say that. “Maybe, but I think I’d only be comfortable doing that with you,” he said, keeping the essence of his thoughts without all the implications.

 

Phil nodded in understanding. “Are you saying you have plans to film with someone else?” he asked. He sounded curious, but there was a hint of something else. Something Dan chose to see as jealousy. Maybe Phil enjoyed filming with Dan as much as Dan did. Even if there weren’t feelings involved maybe he liked the sex. Dan could live with just sex, if it meant getting to near Phil more.

 

“Keeping my options open,” Dan answered, even though he couldn’t imagine filming with anyone else. He leaned over and pressed play again, purposely brushing his hand over Phil’s thigh. They both laughed when they got to the point where Dan was whispering to Phil that he was too far gone to even listen. Dan pouted. “I’m allowed to laugh at that, you’re not,” Dan said, mock anger in his voice.

 

“I’m sorry, but you are too adorable,” Phil replied. “I had thought you were playing it up, until that point.”

 

“No, Phil, I wasn’t playing it up. You were using all my kinks against me it’s not my fault,” Dan responded, embarrassment creeping into his thoughts. He didn’t like that he got as completely sucked into a scene as he did, he didn’t like that sex turned his brain to mush, but he also couldn’t stop it from happening, especially not with Phil.

 

Phil put his arm around Dan’s waist and smiled at him. “I’m not teasing you Dan, I think it’s truly mesmerizing how you get so into it. If everyone was like you, porn as a whole would be a better experience.” Dan flushed, but didn’t respond, returning his attention to the film still playing in the background.

 

Dan watched as he rode Phil, as he reached his climax and got impossibly clingier. He’d forgotten how much it felt like he would suffocate without Phil. It was weirdly emotional for him to watch back, seeing himself that vulnerable from an outside perspective. It was also interesting to watch as Phil came undone, he’d been too out of it when filming to actually see what happened, but watching it back was an experience. Watching the way Phil touched him so gently while pushing into him so rough, it was an alluring contrast. It was over faster than Dan had thought, it had seemed longer when he was still basking in his own afterglow.

 

Dan turned to Phil and smiled when the sex ended and the version of them on screen smiled at each other and kissed softly. Phil smiled back at him, pulling Dan against him. Dan rested his head on Phil’s shoulder. “I’m glad you guys choose to leave this stuff in instead of cutting it,” Dan said, watching the aftercare unfold. “It adds an emotional layer to it, so it’s not just smut.”

 

“I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but if I’m going to watch porn I want to see the feelings behind it. I know how sex works and what it looks like, I don’t watch porn for that, I watch it to see two people coming together and sharing a connection,” Phil explained. “Sometimes, I make the type of porn I’d want to watch, even if it’s not the most popular,” he added sheepishly.

 

Dan chuckled. “This is the type I’d want to watch too,” he agreed. “Though preferably with someone else playing my role, someone hotter.”

 

“Dan,” Phil said, looking at him. “Stop talking about yourself like that,” he added. “You look incredible in this.” Dan blushed, hiding his face in Phil’s shoulder. “Do you honestly disagree?” Phil questioned.

 

Dan shook his head no. The truth was that when he filmed with Phil he did like the way he looked. Though he was normally self conscious of his looks it was different with Phil, something about being with the other man made his whole attitude shift. He felt confident, and even looking back on it now he thought he looked attractive.

 

Phil smiled, lifting Dan’s face and holding it in the hands. “Don’t put yourself down, not with me, okay?” Dan nodded and Phil kissed his cheek. “Sorry, got a bit into character while watching,” Phil said, blushing and taking his hands off Dan.

 

“It’s okay,” Dan replied, pulling back. “I also got into character a bit,” he agreed. They both looked back to the laptop and watched as they kissed once more before the video cut.

 

“What do you think?” Phil asked, flipping the laptop lid down and turning so he was sitting sideways on the couch facing Dan. “Anything you want cut?”

 

“No, I like it how it is,” Dan replied, smiling. “I think it turned out exactly like I wanted it to, though nothing like I expected. I’m proud of it.”

 

Phil grinned. “I am very glad, Dan. You should always be proud,” he answered. Phil could tell Dan wanted to say something by the way he pulled at his sleeve. “What is it?” he questioned.

 

“Can I say something that might sound a bit weird?” Dan asked. Phil nodded and gave him a gentle smile. “This is the best job I’ve ever had and I’m really thankful that you reached out to me.”

 

Phil’s face lit up and he pulled Dan into a big hug. He didn’t respond with words; he didn’t have too. He felt Dan’s arms wrap around him and he knew the man understood. Phil was just as thankful as Dan was. Thankful to have a friend like him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoy writing chapters of them going over previous thing. I feel like it adds a level of emotion to what would otherwise be just porn, but I could be wrong. Let me know if this is something you like, or something you want me to stop doing ^^
> 
> Thanks for reading <3


	21. Chapter 21

They were finished going over he film and were now just sitting together, after a hug that lasted just a bit too long for co-workers turned friends. “Do you still want to come back to my place tonight?” Phil asked, absentmindedly playing with Dan’s curls.

 

“Nah, I think I’ll pass,” Dan replied. “I’m sick of you already,” he added teasingly.

 

Phil pouted. “That’s not very nice, Dan,” he said, looking actually a bit hurt.

 

“I’m kidding, you spoon! Of course I want to come back with you,” Dan responded.

 

Phil grinned. “Acting skills,” he replied.

 

“Fuck you.” Dan said, rolling his eyes. “I thought I actually upset you there for a second,” he added, shoving Phil.

 

“Well, you should be careful how much you tease, sometimes people get hurt,” Phil replied. “But no, if I was hurt I would tell you. Communication is not only important in sex and relationships; it’s also needed for a good friendship.”

 

“I know Phil, I’ve had friends before,” Dan replied. “Though a good friendship? Not sure I’ve had one of those since I’ve been an adult,” he added.

 

“Well, now you have me, Cynthia, and PJ, so you have some,” Phil responded. Dan smiled and nodded. “So, is that a yes, you’re coming over?”

 

“Yeah,” Dan replied. “If you pay for my dinner,” he added with a laugh.

 

“Of course,” Phil replied with a smile. “Speaking of paying for things if you’re sure about this going up,” he gestured to the laptop. “I can give you your paycheck tonight, I know what it’s like being a young adult on your own and living paycheck to paycheck.”

 

“That might be good,” Dan replied. “My landlord is close to kicking me out,” he added sheepishly. “Before this I had a hard time finding a job so I’m still almost two months behind in payments.”

 

Phil nodded in understanding. “I’ll send the money tonight,” he replied. “If you need to borrow money-“ Dan cut him off.

 

“I appreciate that Phil, but I’m not borrowing money from you,” Dan responded. “You’re my friend, but you’re also my boss even if you hate that word, I’m not risking my friendship with you or my job over a loan.”

 

“Okay,” Phil replied. “But if it came to the point where you needed it, I’m here. That’s all I’m saying.”

 

Dan smiled. “Thanks,” he responded. “Do you have more work you have to do here? Or can we head back to yours?”

 

“I have just a couple phone calls I need to make,” Phil responded. “You can wait in one of the rooms if you’d like,” he added. “No one’s currently filming so all the rooms should be open, but a couple might be missing bedding, I sent out the laundry yesterday and I’m not sure what’s been put back yet.”

 

“No problem, I’ll go take a nap or something,” Dan replied. “Come wake me when you’re ready to go,” he added. He got up off the couch and headed to the door.

 

“If you need anything you can come get me. Even if I’m on a business call. You come first,” Phil said with a warm smile.

 

“Got it,” Dan replied, smiling back. He left the room, closing the door behind him. He wandered around the building a bit, not opening the doors that were closed because he didn’t want to be nosy. He peaked in the open ones and saw some interesting rooms. Some were just other rooms that looked like bedrooms but in different themes, some were other sets; like a kitchen and an office. He reached one at the end of the hall that unlike all the rest which were white, had a black door. It was open only a crack so he toed it open, looking inside.

 

This room wasn’t set up like any kind of room Dan had ever been in, it was very clearly a room set up for far kinkier things than Dan would ever consider doing while being filmed. Without a camera he’d be open to trying some of it out though. There were some bigger machines that Dan could only imagine the use of, as well as a bunch of small things that he did know about. Lots of BDSM items, whips, floggers, and various other toys lined the walls. On one of the walls was a set of cuffs hanging from the ceiling and a set of shackles on the ground.

 

For just one split second Dan imagined himself tied to that wall, Phil standing in front of him and watching while Dan begged for something, anything really. He shivered, not sure that he’d ever want to try something like that but interested in the fact that it was there. He’d have to ask Phil if he’d ever filmed a scene in there at a later date. Dan closed the door again and returned to the room he felt the safest in, aside from Phil’s office.

 

He stepped into the white room and closed the door behind him. It looked the same as it had the other times he’d been in there. Clean, fresh, and soothing. The memories of being in here with Phil made him smile. He took a seat on the bed. He’d forgotten how comfortable it was; he needed to get a mattress like this one, once he’d caught up on his rent. He laid back on the bed and snuggled with the blankets, he thought they still smelled slightly of Phil, but he knew that was his imagination more than anything else.

 

His intention hadn’t been to actually fall asleep, just to close his eyes and allow himself a quick moment of rest. But his body had other ideas as soon as it came in contact with the far too comfortable bed and he very quickly dozed off, his conscious thoughts being replaced by uncontrollable dreams.

 

_“Daniel?” Phil said, lifting Dan’s face. Dan opened his eyes and saw Phil with his soft smirk and brilliant eyes, staring down at him. “Daniel? Were you even listening?” Phil questioned._

_Dan shook his head no. “I’m sorry Phil, I wasn’t. He answered, looking down. His desire to duck his head was strong, but Phil’s hand held him in place._

_Phil gripped Dan’s face tighter and gave him a stern look. “What did you call me?” he asked. Dan stared at him not answering. He didn’t understand the situation. Phil sighed. “We’ve been over this darling, if you don’t listen I’ll have to make this harder on you,” he responded. He moved his hands back and Dan dropped his face, seeing that he was naked; unlike Phil who was fully dressed in a perfectly tailored suit. Not only that, he was also chained to the wall, the one he’d seen behind the black door. His legs were held in place and his arms were cuffed above his head._

_“I can be better,” Dan assured, rushing his words. He wanted to prove to Phil he was good enough, that he could be whatever the other man wanted him to be._

_“I’m not so sure about that,” Phil replied. Running a flogger gentle down Dan’s naked back. “You’ve been very bad Daniel, you’ve been thinking naughty things and I know it,” he added, hitting him with with toy. It didn’t hurt, neither did his arms where they were shackled above him._

_Dan felt his stomach flip, he hadn’t meant to. He didn’t want to think of Phil as anything more than a friend, but he couldn’t help the thoughts that flooded his mind sometimes. “I’m sorry sir, I have tired not to.” Dan felt tears welling in his eyes, he wanted to drop to the ground, but the restraints stopped him from being able to._

_He heard Phil step closer again, felt his hand on his cheek. “Dan?” Phil questioned, his voice quiet. “Hey, sweetheart, his is just a scene, I’m not mad,” he said, speaking softly but with a lot of emotion. “Look at me, please.” Dan looked up through tear filled eyes and seen Phil giving him a soft smile. “There’s my beautiful boy.” He kissed Dan’s forehead._

_“You’re really not mad?” Dan asked, his voice broken._

_“Of course not,” Phil replied. “Did I go to far?” he questioned, wiping the tears from Dan’s checks._

_Dan shook his head no. “No, I just got carried away,” he replied. “Kiss me?” he asked softly, embarrassed by his own request. Phil smiled and cupped his face in his hands, leaning and pressing their lips together._

_“I think we should have a serious conversation; wouldn’t you agree?” Phil said, stepping back and grabbing a set of keys off the wall. He undid the cuffs and shackles holding Dan in place, catching him in his arms when Dan’s muscles gave out and he dropped. “I’ve got you,” he said sweetly, positioning Dan on his lap._

_“Yeah, I think you might be right,” Dan agreed. Feeling himself being rocked in Phil’s arms.  
_

The rocking turned into shaking, and then he heard whispering. “Dan, get up.” It was Phil’s voice. “If you don’t wake up I’m leaving without you.” Phil laughed. Right, he was still at the SCC building. Dan pushed Phil’s arm off of him to stop the shaking motion and slowly rolled over onto his back, opening one eye just a crack so he could look up at the man above him. Phil chuckled. “Took you long enough,” he said, his wide smile not matching the mock annoyance in his voice.

 

“What time is it?” Dan asked, sitting up and slowly opening his eyes to the bright room.

 

“Time for us to leave,” Phil answered, unhelpfully. “You weren’t out that long,” he added.

 

Dan yawned. “Alright, let’s get going,” he replied, getting up off the bed. His legs were wobbly from sleep and he felt them give out. Phil quickly at his side, holding him up.

 

“I think you should take a minute or two to wake up,” Phil responded. “You seemed to be sleeping very deeply,” he added. Dan nodded and sat back down on the bed. “Were you dreaming?” Phil asked, sitting down beside him.

 

“I think so, but I don’t remember it,” Dan replied, lying because he wasn’t going to admit to Phil what the dream was about. “I rarely remember my dreams,” he added. That part was true at least.

 

“Was I in it?” Phil asked with a teasing smirk. Dan’s face went red and Phil laughed. “I’m just teasing,” he added with a smile. “Though, if I ever appear in your dreams I hope I’m kind to you.”

 

Dan laughed. “If I show up in your dreams I hope I annoy the living daylights out of you,” he responded. “I want magical powers that I use to play tricks and make your life hell.”

 

Phil pouted. “That’s not very nice,” he said in a whiny tone.

 

“Fine, then I want to be a dragon,” Dan responded.

 

“Noted,” Phil replied.

 

“How many rooms did you have to check before you found me?” Dan asked, realizing he’d never texted Phil which rom he was in.

 

“This was the first one I checked,” Phil replied. “I just assumed you’d pick the one you were most comfortable in, the one that feels most like your own. Especially since sleeping is a vulnerable act, it’s human nature to pick the one you feel safest in.”

 

“How did you know this is the one I feel most comfortable in?” Dan questioned.

 

“Cause it’s the closest to my office,” Phil replied. “It seemed like the best guess. If the roles were reversed I’d pick the one closest to you,” he added with a smile. Dan blushed, looking down at his hands. “You ready to get up?” Phil asked. Dan nodded and stood up, feeling steady on his feet. They headed out of the room together and said their goodbyes to Cynthia who was also packing up to leave.

 

“You guys going home together?” she asked, looking a bit surprised.

 

“Yes,” Phil replied. “Dan is joining me for dinner,” he added.

 

“We’re ordering take away and eating it on your couch while watching anime, I don’t think that really counts as joining you for dinner,” Dan responded.

 

“Well, we can’t go someplace nice, not with you looking that like,” Phil replied with a laugh, gesturing to Dan’s bed head and rumpled clothes.

 

“Oh, what? Suddenly my messy hair and manner of dress is an issue?” Dan responded teasingly, putting his hands on his hips. “What happened to ‘You look good in everything?’”

 

Phil blushed. “I never claimed you didn’t still look good,” he answered. Dan went from confident teasing to shy in an instant.

 

Cynthia looked to each of them and then smiled. “Have a good night boys.” She grabbed her bag off her desk. “And buy the man a proper dinner at least once,” she added, slapping Phil gently on his back as she walked past.

 

“Hey! I am still your boss you know,” Phil said as she opened the door to leave.

 

Cynthia looked down and checked her watch. “Work ended 5 minutes ago, I don’t have to keep up my professional attitude,” she replied. “Plus, I’d love to watch you run this place without me. We both know after a day you’d show up at my house groveling,” she added with a smirk before turning and walking away.

 

Phil laughed. “You know it,” he replied with a wave, as the door closed behind her.

 

Dan chuckled. “She really does change when she’s off the clock, huh?” he questioned, turning back to Phil.

 

“Yes,” Phil answered. “Because of the line of work it is very important that she stays professional while she’s working, I don’t want the actors to see her as someone who could judge them since she’s supposed to be someone they can talk to if they feel threatened or uncomfortable talking to me,” he explained. “But off the clock she’s genuinely a fun person. We should get drinks sometime.”

 

“You mean with me?” Dan questioned, pointing to himself.

 

“Yeah, then you can meet friend Cynthia and not just work Cynthia.” Phil opened the door and they stepped outside into the cool air.

 

“I think I’ve actually met her before. Friend Cynthia, I mean,” Dan said, following Phil out the door and standing beside him while locked up.

 

“Really?” Phil asked, looking shocked. “She must think you’re special then, I have guys I’ve worked with for over a year that she still doesn’t drop her act around.”

 

“Well, if her job is to advocate for the models if they have an issue with you then I don’t think she needs to worry when it comes to me,” Dan responded. “If I had an issue with you I would come directly to you.”

 

“I’m glad you feel that way and I hope as we continue to work together you still feel the same,” Phil replied with a warm smile. “And that’s only a small part of her job really, it’s doing her a disservice to say she only does one thing,” Phil replied. “She basically runs everything; I have no idea how she actually does it all.”

 

“Why don’t you hire her an assistant or two?” Dan asked as he and Phil walked behind the building to where Phil parked his car on the days he drove to work.

 

“I’ve offered to, she doesn’t want one,” Phil answered. “She’s takes her work very seriously and has a hard time letting go and letting someone else try.”

 

“I understand that,” Dan replied. “I’m a bit of a control freak too, at times.”

 

“Really?” Phil questioned. “You seem really good at letting go and letting someone take control.”

 

“With you I don’t mind it,” Dan replied. “With anyone else it’s quite a big issue,” he added with a chuckle. Phil smiled widely at him and they walked together, side by side. Phil approached the car first, opening the passenger side door for Dan.

“I’ve told you before, I can get my own doors,” Dan said with a chuckle, climbing into the car. 

“You also just told me you don’t mind me taking control,” Phil reminded. He winked and Dan blushed. He liked Phil taking control a lot more than he wanted to admit.

 

They didn’t feel the need to fill the silence as Phil got in the car and started it up, pulling out of the parking lot. It wasn’t a long distance to Phil’s apartment, but the stop lights increased the time it took to get there.

 

“Hey, Phil?” Dan asked, breaking the silence. Phil gave him a questioning expression, telling him to continue. “I was looking around at some of the rooms, and I got curious about the one with the black door,” Dan said, pulling at his sleeves like he always did when he was unsure of how to ask something.

 

“Did you look inside?” Phil asked, seemingly unbothered by Dan poking around.

 

“Yeah,” Dan replied. “I was quite surprised you had a room like that, I wasn’t expecting it.”

 

Phil chuckled. “I didn’t always have it there, but some of the models asked for a kinkier room set up for when they wanted to film something more hardcore. It does bring in good money for those who are interested in doing that sort of thing so I couldn’t say no,” he explained. “I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable. The reason for the black door is so people don’t accidently go in there, you shouldn’t have to see kinky things you haven’t consented to it.”

 

“No, that’s fine,” Dan responded. “I don’t kink shame and I have no issue with people doing whatever they want, as long as it’s consenting adults and no ones getting hurt,” he added. “I was just wondering about it.”

 

“What about it?” Phil asked. “Is that something you’re interested in?”

 

“Not really, no. Especially not with cameras involved,” Dan answered. “I was just wondering if you’d ever filmed in there,” he added, blushing a bit. “Not that it’s my business.”

 

Phil laughed. “No I haven’t,” he replied. “I would need to really trust and know the person I was filming with to ever consider doing something like that. They’d need to trust me not to go too far and I’d need to trust that if I did, they would tell me. It’s a bit too risky for me as a boss, and also it’s not something I’d be all that interested in filming. Things like that can be very emotional and personal, I like to keep some things off camera.” Dan nodded, he both understood where Phil was coming from and agreed with him. “And, it is your business Dan, I’ve told you you’re welcome to watch the things I’ve done before, it’s normal to want to know more about the person you’re working with.”

 

“I’d rather just get to know you by hanging out with you,” Dan responded. “I obviously have no issue with what you do, but I think it would be a lot harder for me to film with you if I saw you with a bunch of other guys,” Dan explained. “I’d be comparing myself and worrying I wasn’t holding up, thinking about how everyone else I’d seen you with did this or that and just generally being insecure about it.” He wasn’t lying, he would get too in his head and not be able to focus on being with Phil when filming, but that was only half the truth. He also knew he was way too jealous and didn’t want to see Phil bringing other people the pleasure that Phil brought him.

 

Phil gave him a soft smile. “If that’s how you feel then I’m thankful you didn’t watch them, I’d never want all that in your head,” he replied. “For what it’s worth though, even if you did watch them, no matter what it looks like, I assure you I feel more of a connection with you than anyone else I’ve filmed with. Our chemistry on camera is genuine and it makes it easy and fun.”

 

Dan flushed. “I’d say the same but it wouldn’t mean much seeing as you’re the only person I’ve filmed with,” he replied, trying to joke because the moment felt too real. Phil wasn’t just the best sex he’d had on film; Phil was the best sex he’d had period. Also the best kisses and best hugs. He couldn’t admit all that though.

 

“I’ll still take it as a compliment,” Phil replied with a grin.

 

They spent the last few minutes of the car ride in comfortable silence until Phil pulled into the parking lot of his building and they headed inside together. This time instead of not knowing how to conduct himself at Phil’s place, Dan knew exactly how to act. He was simply himself, saying and doing whatever felt natural to him, because Phil created a safe space for him to do so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ^^ I know I didn't upload for a couple days there and I just wanted to apologize for dropping out after saying I'd be consistent in my posting. I had a couple days of falling back into my depression after being reminded of someone from my past, I am doing better now though. Also a huge thanks to Autumn (My beta reader) for not only being great at helping me out, but also checking in and making sure I was okay when I didn't update this for a bit. I appreciate you <3
> 
> Anyway thanks for reading <3


	22. Chapter 22

They were sitting together on Phil’s couch, the empty takeaway containers sprawled out on the coffee table in front of them, long forgotten as they fell into deep discussions about the film industry as the credits of an art film played in the background. Dan laughed, “I’ve never met someone who was as much of a movie buff as I am,” he said.

 

“I took film courses in college,” Phil replied. “That might be why I am a bit more passionate about it than most.”

 

“Really?” Dan asked. “That’s so cool,” he added, always interested in hearing more about Phil and his life. He hated that there was so much about the other man that he didn’t know, so much he probably never would know.

 

“Yeah, I used to think I’d be a director or a script writer,” Phil answered with a chuckle at how different his life ended up.

 

“Do you regret not going into that field?” Dan questioned.

 

Phil shook his head no. “Not at all, I ended up taking a different path, but I still have the option to try writing a screenplay one day.”

 

“If you do, I would love to see it. You better invite me to the premiere,” Dan replied.

 

Phil smiled. “Of course,” he replied. “I wouldn’t make you have to go see it with the common folk,” he added teasingly.

 

Dan grinned. “You and PJ should make something together,” he suggested.

 

“We might someday. For now, I love the work I get to do, and the people I get to do it with. But I’m always happy to spend hours talking about films with anyone who will listen,” Phil said.

 

“I’m here to listen whenever you want,” Dan replied. “My friends never wanted to talk about a film; they just wanted to watch it and then forget it, or talk about how hot the girls were,” he added.

 

Phil chuckled. “We could discuss the male lead, he was easy on the eyes,” he replied.

 

Dan nodded in agreement. “I’d let him have his way with me,” he teased.

 

“Oh, would you now?” Phil questioned, raising an eyebrow.

 

Dan’s stomach dropped at the way Phil looked at him, almost as if he was daring him to go on. He blushed. “No, not really,” he responded. “I’m an awkward dork, if he hit on me I’d most likely come up with an excuse and run.” Phil laughed. “You know it’s true,” Dan added.

 

“I’m not disagreeing with you, I’m just picturing you running from every hot guy approaching you,” Phil replied, suppressing his laugh at the scene playing out in his mind.

 

Dan chuckled. “It’s not like it’s a common occurrence anyway,” he stated. “Plus I don’t run from every hot guy,” he added, closing the barely-one-inch gap between them. Their arms now pressed together.

 

Phil smiled and flushed. “I hope someday you’re able to walk up to the hottest guy in a bar and ask him out with confidence,” he replied.

 

Dan snorted. “I’ll just settle for being able to start a conversation,” he replied. “I’m not really looking to date anyway,” he added. Again it was a half-truth, he was getting used to those when around Phil. He was interested in dating, but only in dating the one person he knew he wasn’t allowed to.

 

“Dating is a hassle,” Phil agreed with a nod. “Especially in this line of work. It’s so hard to find someone who understands it and doesn’t get jealous. Sucks that we’re not into one night stands, huh?” he added with a chuckle.

 

“Maybe we’re just meant to die alone,” Dan replied.

 

“Don’t be morbid,” Phil scolded, booping Dan on the nose.

 

Dan swatted his hand away, pretending to be annoyed. “Hate to break it to you Phil, but we all die someday,” he said. “Even the great AmazingPhil, will one day be as dead as the plant in his office.”

 

“Shush you,” Phil said, covering Dan’s mouth with his finger. Dan blushed and bit his lip lightly when Phil pulled his finger back. “Susan is doing perfectly fine I will have you know.”

 

Dan just stared at him for a second. “You named your plant Susan?” he asked. Somehow still surprised and perplexed by the oddity that is Phil Lester. Phil nodded. “My god, you really are something else,” Dan said with a fond smile.

 

Phil smiled back and for a second there was silence as their eyes met and they just looked at each other unmoving. Dan flushed, he couldn’t look into Phil’s eyes for long without feeling things, he ought not be feeling. He pulled away a bit, moving his eyes to the coffee table. “I should help you clean up before I go,” Dan said, getting up and picking out the small boxes scattered about.

 

“You don’t have to do that,” Phil replied, getting up and helping Dan with the clean up.

 

“It’s the least I can do, really,” Dan responded. “You’re letting me hang out here and buying me dinner, I can do this much.” He brought the containers to the kitchen, dumping them in the trash, before collecting the dishes and bringing them to the sink.

 

Phil came up beside him after wiping down the table. “Can I at least dry?” he asked, gesturing to the dishes.

 

Dan smiled and nodded. They went back to talking about the movie they’d watched as they cleaned the dishes together, the domesticity of it unlike anything Dan had ever experienced. It was weird how at home he felt here, how much Phil could feel like family. “I think that’s the last one,” Dan said, looking around the kitchen and seeing no more dirty dishes. He felt his heart sink a bit, part of him wanted to find more, to keep this moment going; especially since he knew he should leave once they were done.

 

“Thank you for helping me, Dan,” Phil said with a warm smile.

 

“Not a problem,” Dan replied. “It’s not so bad doing chores with a friend,” he added. “I should probably get going now though, it’s getting late and while I don’t work tomorrow I know you do.”

 

“Sadly, yes,” Phil replied. “I love my work, but I’d also like to stay up late watching films with someone who understands them like I do.”

 

Dan chuckled. “Next time,” he said with smile. “Pick out some of your favorites and we’ll make a day of it. I’ll bring the popcorn.”

 

Phil face lit up and Dan felt that sense of joy he felt whenever he made Phil genuinely happy. “Popcorn is my favorite!” he replied, enthused.

 

“I will bring a lot then, I have a feeling you’re bad at sharing food,” Dan responded.

 

Phil laughed. “You’re not wrong,” he replied. “I can make an exception for you though.”

 

“Just let me know what day you’re free,” Dan said. He stepped forward putting his arms out and Phil quickly pulled him into a hug. Dan wrapped his arms around Phil’s neck and felt that feeling of complete safety he only really felt around Phil. That feeling that nothing else mattered, that he was where he was supposed to be. He cursed himself for feeling that way, pulling away from Phil. “Thanks for having me,” he said.

 

Phil stepped closer to him, cupping his face and kissing his forehead. “Thank you for coming,” he replied. Dan looked up at him and Phil flushed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that,” Phil replied, pulling back quickly.

 

Dan laughed. “It’s fine Phil, you’ve done worse to me,” he responded. Better, Phil had done better to him, but he couldn’t say that.

 

“Right…” Phil muttered.

 

“It’s not a big deal, Phil,” Dan assured. Phil still didn’t seem convinced so Dan leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “There, are we even now?” he asked.

 

Phil’s eyes went wide. For a moment he didn’t speak and Dan wondered if he’d crossed a line. “How do you feel about affection outside of filming?” Phil asked, his voice tentative, like he was thinking over every word.

 

Dan shrugged. “It’s whatever,” he replied, trying to play it cool. Inside he was almost jumping up and down at the thought of getting affection from Phil when the cameras weren’t around. “I’m not against it, and it might help with our chemistry on screen,” he added.

 

Phil smiled. “Think it over and get back to me. I don’t want to push you, but I am a generally touchy person so if you’re comfortable with it I’d be open to it.”

 

Dan nodded. “I can’t see why it would be an issue, it’s still professional right?” he asked, not really wanting to hear the answer.

 

“Of course,” Phil replied, sounding as sure as ever. “It’s quite normal for people in this industry to be more open to touching and affection, since we do it on camera so often.”

 

“Then yeah, I don’t see a problem,” Dan responded. “Just try not to fall for me,” he teased. Knowing full well that it was the other way around.

 

Phil chuckled. “I wouldn’t dream of it,” he replied. Dan would have felt a bit hurt by the comment if it weren’t for the soft smile on Phil’s face making him smile back.

 

“I should get going,” Dan said, grabbing his bag and walking towards the door.

 

“You sure I can’t give you a ride home?” Phil asked, walking with him to the doorway.

 

“Yeah. You should get some rest,” Dan replied. “Have a good night.”

 

Phil stepped closer to him, cupping his face and kissing his forehead once more. “You too, Dan” he replied. “Text me when you get home to let me know you’re safe.” Dan blushed and nodded, making a quick exit before the thumping in his chest became so loud that the whole building heard it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank for the kind comments on the last chapter! ^^ Writing makes everything better and I'm hopefully back on track now! :)


	23. Chapter 23

They’d made their movie plans for that Saturday, but that still left them with five days of not seeing each other and Phil missed Dan’s face. He missed the dimples on his cheeks when he smiled, the way his nose scrunched when he got annoyed with Phil’s teasing, that rosy patch on his cheek that showed up when he blushed. He could list far too many things he missed about Dan’s physical presence, so many it was a tad concerning. Like always, they were constantly texting, and calling each other on occasion, but it would never be the same. It was Dan’s smile and his mannerisms that really brought Phil that sense of joy.

 

Phil hadn’t really realized how much Dan had changed his mindset. Before Dan, he was too dedicated to his work to take breaks, even skipping meals sometimes when he got sucked into answering emails and monitoring comments. Now though, he found himself checking his phone and waiting for texts from Dan, often taking short breaks to talk with him. It became routine for Dan to send him pictures he’d taken on his morning run, or pictures of his food to assure Phil he was eating. He rarely sent Phil pictures of himself, but on the rare occasion that he did the smile that spread across Phil’s face was unrivaled.

 

Sometimes Dan would be bored at his place and he’d text Phil just to ask how his workday was going. Often times Phil would send him a picture of all the paperwork he had to go over, or a screenshot of his email with a large number of unread messages. When he really wanted Dan’s pity, he’d send a picture of himself pouting with a puppy filter added on in-post. Cynthia walked in on him taking one of those pictures and teased him for the rest of the week.

 

On Saturday they followed through with the plans they’d made. Dan showed up for their movie marathon at 10am with two huge buckets of Sweet ‘N’ Salty popcorn. Phil already having a long list of movies cued up and ready to go. They spent the whole day together, talking, laughing, and getting to know new things about each other as they made little comments here and there as the movies played.

 

The last movie Phil picked was a horror film; by now the sky was dark and so was Phil’s apartment, the only thing lighting the room was the TV screen. Phil noticed the change in Dan’s demeanor as the night sky replaced the sun, he seemed jittery and a bit on edge. Dan screamed as something jumped out and Phil burst out laughing. “That’s not funny!” Dan yelled, throwing a handful of the uneaten popcorn at him.

 

Phil snickered, bushing the popcorn off his shirt and onto the floor to be dealt with later. “I’m sorry, you just yell so loud and high pitched,” he replied.

 

“Yes Phil, I yell like a teenage girl, I am aware,” Dan replied, pouting.

 

Phil looked over and pulled Dan closer to him, kissing his cheek. “You don’t have to be brave, I got you,” he said sweetly. Dan flushed and hid his face. Phil thought he was hiding it from the screen and he paused the movie. “Do you want to watch something else?” he asked, concerned that maybe Dan didn’t like horror films but hadn’t wanted to disagree when Phil first asked if he wanted to watch it.

 

“No,” Dan replied. “I want to at least see what happens,” he added, resting his head on Phil’s shoulder. “I don’t believe in ghosts and stuff but for some reason the thought still makes me nervous,” he admitted.

 

Phil chuckled. “I was scared the first time I watched it too,” he responded, hoping Dan would understand that he wasn’t being judged, not by Phil. “I promise nothing will hurt you while I’m here,” he added.

 

“I’m going to hold you to that,” Dan replied. “If something comes in here to kill us, I am hiding behind you.”

 

Phil smiled and held him close. “I’d jump in front of you,” he assured. Phil pressed play on the movie and they returned to suspenseful silence, Dan digging his nails into Phil’s arm when the suspenseful music played. Phil wished he minded, knew he should, but he thought it was cute the way Dan clung to him when nervous.

 

Near the end of the movie the main characters were chased into a pitch black forest. It was hard to see what was happening through the dark lighting and many leaves. A deer ran out from a bush and again Dan screamed. This time though, Phil didn’t laugh. Instead, he ran his hand comfortingly down Dan’s side. “You don’t like the dark do you?” he questioned gently.

 

Dan shook his head, blushing and hiding his face in his jumper. “I might be just a little bit afraid of the dark and of forests,” he admitted.

 

Phil chuckled, pausing the film again. “Maybe you should have mentioned that when I suggested a horror film that took place in a forest at night.”

 

Dan peaked his eyes up at Phil, the rest of his face hidden behind his jumper. “It’s kind of embarrassing to be an adult who’s afraid of the dark,” Dan replied.

 

“Really?” Phil questioned. “I don’t think it is,” he added. “You can’t control your fears, Dan.” Dan dropped the neck of his shirt and Phil smiled, glad he didn’t feel the need to hide. “I had my mom call to make my doctors appointments for me until almost adulthood, I’m scared of the deep sea, and I have a mild fear of horses.”

 

Dan laughed. “Why are you scared of horses?”

 

“They are big, loud, and have weird faces,” Phil replied with a chuckle. “Do you want to watch the rest of the movie with the light on?” Phil asked. Somehow every fact about Dan made him more adorable, Phil would certainly accommodate him in any way he could.

 

Dan shook his head. “No, I don’t mind it too much when you’re here,” he answered, resting his head back on Phil’s shoulder. Phil’s arm returning to its place around his waist as they continued on with their movie watching. It was quite late when the movie ended, neither of them worked tomorrow, so they weren’t in a rush. As the credits rolled they had a discussion about the film, Dan said he wouldn’t watch it again but he understood why Phil liked it.

 

Phil chuckled when the credits came to an abrupt end, a jumpscare popping up and making Dan visibly startle. Dan reached for a pillow and hit Phil with it. “It’s too late to start a pillow fight,” Phil said authoritatively, taking the pillow from Dan.

 

“It’s not even midnight yet,” Dan replied with a pout. “When do you think pillow fights happen?” he questioned, teasingly.

 

“At sleepovers,” Phil replied. “Which we could have if you want, I have a spare room.” Dan paused for a second and Phil wondered if he’d crossed a line. “No pressure,” he added. “I can give you a ride home if you want.”

 

“I think I’ll take you up on the ride home,” Dan answered after a moment. “I’d like to be home in my own bed, but I don’t want to take the bus after watching that,” he added, gesturing to the TV.

 

“Fair enough,” Phil replied. Glad that Dan seemingly picked what he wanted and not just what he thought would be most convenient for Phil. He was also thankful Dan wouldn’t be taking the bus alone at midnight.

 

He dropped Dan off at his apartment, making sure he was okay staying alone, which Dan laughed at and assured him he was. Again, Phil stayed in the parking lot watching him make it into his building before driving off. He felt the need to watch out for Dan every second he could. He was terrified of the idea of something happening to him.

 

Phil got home and cleaned up the popcorn they’d thrown around. Dan had offered to help him clean up, but it was late and Phil assured him it was fine. He tidied and vacuumed the main room before getting ready for bed. He checked his phone, seeing a text from Dan.

 

Dan: If I have dreams of a demon creature coming to kill me, I am blaming you.

Phil laughed, replying immediately.

Phil: If that high-pitched scream of yours haunts my nightmares, I am blaming you.

Dan: Fuck off, it’s wasn’t that loud…

Phil: Haha  
Phil: If you actually have a nightmare you can call me.

Dan: Oh yeah I am definitely going to do that cause that’s not the most embarrassing thing in the world.  
Dan: I’m a grown man Phil, I’m fine.

Phil: Whatever you say.  
Phil: Goodnight Dan :)

Dan: Night.

Phil: Sweet dreams.

Dan: You too.

Phil: Thanks.

Dan: I want to have the last word.

Phil: Okay.

Dan: …..

Phil: Hmm?

Dan: Fuck off! I’m turning off my phone.

 

Phil laughed, he got a bit too much enjoyment out of teasing and annoying Dan, he couldn’t help it though, no one ever ‘got him’ the way Dan did. They were always on the same page, well, expect for one thing. That one thing Phil told himself he wasn’t allowed to think about. He sighed, turning off his phone and rolling over, settling in for the night.

 

_“Dan?” Phil called out, looking around and seeing nothing but trees, all the way around him. It was dark and the only breaking of the darkness was the faint glow from where the moonlight trickled in between the leaves. “Daniel!?” he called, louder. Why was he calling for Dan? He looked down at himself and saw that his pants were torn and there was blood on his shirt, though he felt no pain. Was it his blood?_

_Suddenly he realized he was running, pushing past trees and swatting at branches as they flicked him in the face as he ran. His heart was racing and the only thing on his mind was finding Dan. “DAN!” he screamed, his voice breaking. He could hear the echo of his voice and he didn’t hear a response. He felt like he’d been running for hours, but he swore he was in the same place. His body ached and his legs gave out. He dropped to the damp forest floor, panting. “Dan, where are you?” he sobbed, feeling tears on his cheeks._

_He heard a quiet voice, it was barely audible, but instantly he recognized it as Dan’s. He pushed himself to his feet and kept running, following the voice. His legs threatened to give out with every step and there was blood on his cheeks and arms from the branches scratching his skin. It was all worth it though when he arrived at a clearing, right in the middle of it lay Dan, on his back, clutching his chest. “Phil,” he said, his voice a whisper._

_Phil ran to him and collapsed beside him, cupping his face. “Dan, what happened?” He spoke quickly, searching Dan’s body for any obvious wounds. Dan moved his hands and Phil saw the gash across his chest, blood seeping out and staining his grey jumper. Phil gasped and screamed, not knowing what to do. Dan lifted one blood stained hand and brought it to Phil’s face. “This is all your fault,” he said with a weak chuckle. “You said you’d jump in front.”_

_“Dan, oh my god, I am so sorry, Dan.” Phil’s words tumbled out between loud sobs as he placed his hand over Dan’s. “I’m so sorry…” Phil felt Dan’s hand slip from his face, his eyes closing. He crumpled in on himself and sobbed, unable to move.  
_

Suddenly Phil’s eyes shot open and he was in his bedroom. His heart raced and he frantically looked around, sighing in relief when the realization that it was all just a dream hit him. He sat up, heaving as he tried to catch his breath. “Thank god,” he whispered, putting his hand on his face where Dan’s had been in his dream. He felt dampness on his cheek and then looked down seeing a wet patch on his pillow.

 

The sobbing had been real, which explained why his head was pounding. He gulped down some water he’d place on his nightstand and laid back down, trying to calm himself. It was only a dream and Dan was fine, he told himself. He felt the need to check his phone, seeing that Dan had been on Twitter an hour earlier, most likely checking it when he got up to pee in the middle of the night. He sighed in relief, smiling softly and holding the phone to his chest, falling back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't thank Autumn enough for helping me in this chapter. She seen my rough draft and gave me so many good ideas and I used them all, so yeah huge kudos to her! ^^
> 
> With her help I am writing something I am actually proud of and I hope to keep it going for quite a while. Thanks for everyone whi's sticking with me as this keeps growing longer <3


	24. Chapter 24

After their movie night Dan was anxiously awaiting the time he and Phil could not only see each other, but work together. The more time he spent with Phil, the more pent up he felt. Finding himself getting sexually frustrated and feeling extra lonely. He’d considered finding someone to hook up with, but he had a feeling it would turn out the same as the last time; though this next person may not be as understanding as Kyler was.

 

He spent Sunday on his own. He ate breakfast, went for his morning run, showered, and then decided to go shopping and treat himself a bit to distract himself from thoughts of Phil. Having extra money was new to him, but he was responsible enough to not blow all his paycheck on nice things, but surely a couple pieces of clothing would be fine.

 

He went to the closest shopping centre, putting headphones on just to avoid unwanted socialization. He window shopped for awhile, looking at all the expensive stores he’d never shop in because there was a limit to how frivolous he would be, even if he was rich. On the second floor of the shopping centre he found a place he liked, browsing around and picking out just a couple things, bringing them into a changing room. He took his phone from his back pocket and checked it before putting it on the changing room seat. He saw a new message from Phil.

Phil: What are you up to today?

Dan: I’m shopping.

Phil: Ohh?

Dan: Decided I should treat myself to some new clothes now that I have a decent paying job :P

Phil: I’m bored… Cynthia won’t let me go into work today cause she says I need the day off…

Dan: Well she’s right. Though you’re still the boss you don’t technically have to listen.

Phil: But she’s not in today so I’ll be there all alone.  
Phil: :(

Dan: If your bored you can help me shop.

Phil: Really?

Dan: Yeah, I’ll send pics and you can tell me what you like.

Phil: Okay! :)

 

Dan laughed, Phil could be so childish sometimes, texting him and whining about being alone and bored, and yet, other times he was so in control and mature. Phil was an enigma. Dan put his phone down and pulled on a pale pink jumper, with an embroidered rose design on the shoulders. He took a quick picture and sent it to Phil.

He repeated the process with a couple other articles of clothing, including a jean jacket, a black romper and a pair of trousers.

 

Phil: I’ve realized the flaw in this plan.

Dan: What?

Phil: Everything looks good on you ^^;

Dan: *eyeroll* Just tell me which is your favorite.

Phil: …..  
Phil: All of them… :S

Dan: You’re no help at all :P  
Dan: I have one more thing that I really like. It’s way out of my price range but I’m trying it on while I’m here haha.

 

Dan had picked up a black lace button up that he was immediately drawn to until he seen the $200 price tag. It wasn’t the sort of thing he’d ever have a place to wear, but felt the desire to own anyway. He put it on and took a picture texting it to Phil.

 

Dan: Obviously I’d wear a black t-shirt under it if I was to actually wear it.

 

Phil didn’t send a reply right away this time. Dan shrugged assuming Phil got distracted by something. He got dressed in his own clothing again, looking over the pieces and deciding what he might buy. He heard the text alert from his phone and checked Phil’s response.

 

Phil: Buy it, I’ll reimburse you for the cost.

Dan: What? No way.

Phil: Daniel you look stunning in that, buy it. Wear it for a shoot we’ll count it as a business expense.

Dan: It’s $200

Phil: Okay, I’ll send the money over now.

 

Instead of texting him back Dan called him, wanting to hear his voice and be sure he wasn’t joking. “Phil, are you actually being serious?” he asked when he heard the click of Phil answering his call.

 

“Of course,” Phil responded. “Daniel, look at that picture you sent and tell me you don’t look like a fantasy,” he added, his voice that slightly deeper tone he’d used when being dominant. That mixed with the way he said Daniel instead of Dan instantly made him feel weak in the knees, that pent up feeling increasing.

 

Dan flushed, he brought the picture up on his phone and turned beat red. He hadn’t noticed he was biting his lip in the picture, the high angle forcing him to look up at the camera with wide eyes. The black lace not doing much to cover his exposed skin or nipples. It definitely looked like he was trying to be seductive. His silence caused Phil to speak again. “That’s exactly how I reacted.”

 

“It’s just a shirt,” Dan replied, trying to ignore the fact that he also saw what Phil was saying. Embarrassed that he’d sent Phil a picture like that without meaning to.

 

“Daniel,” Phil said again, getting Dan’s full attention. “I will never force you to wear something, you know that, but I have sent the money and I do expect you to at least buy it.”

 

Dan listened intently, chewing on his lip as Phil spoke. “You sure?” he asked.

 

“Absolutely,” Phil responded. “You really do look beautiful in everything though,” he added. Dan could hear his smile though the phone.

 

“Thanks, Phil,” Dan replied, the heated flush fading to a gentle blush. “I’m going to go pay. Talk later?”

 

“Call me whenever, I really meant it when I said I was bored,” Phil responded with a chuckle. Dan laughed. “It’s nice to hear your laugh; to know you’re okay,” he added gently.

 

“Huh?” Dan questioned, unsure what Phil was talking about.

 

“Nothing,” Phil replied. “I’m just happy to hear you enjoying yourself. Talk later.” Phil hung up, leaving a confused Dan staring at his phone. He shrugged it off and checked his bank account seeing $300 had just been added, of course Phil would give extra instead of just working out the tax. He smiled and grabbed the pink jumper and the romper throwing them over his shoulder. He gave the rest of the items to the dressing room attendant and headed to the till.

 

After exiting the mall and sighing in relief at the lack of loud music and chattering teens, he decided to use the extra money Phil had sent, to get an Uber; having the driver drop him off outside Phil’s apartment. He entered the building, dialing Phil’s number on the intercom. He heard the click of Phil answering and then heard his voice. “Hello?” Phil said, sounding perplexed.

 

“It’s me,” Dan said, wondering if Phil would recognize his voice and know it was him without him saying his name.

“Dan?” Phil questioned. “What are you doing here?” Dan went to answer but Phil spoke again. “Never mind, come on up,” he added, buzzing Dan into the building. Dan took the elevator up to the 5th floor where Phil’s apartment was, easily finding the door that belonged to his place. He knocked lightly and waited.

 

After only a couple seconds the door flew open and Phil was standing there with that ‘I’m so happy to see you smile’ that made Dan feel all kinds of feelings. He was dressed in joggers and a blue hoodie, his hair messy and his glasses on. He looked far too good for a person who’d planned to spend the day alone. “Come in,” Phil said quickly, stepping aside so Dan had room. He entered and dropped his shopping bags on the floor by the door. “Did you stop by for any reason?” Phil asked. “Or did you just miss me?” he teased.

 

Dan bushed, he had missed him, even if that wasn’t the reason he’d come by. “You said you were bored, right?” Dan questioned. “You sent extra for the shirt so I thought I’d use it to come over and cure you of that boredom.” He smiled when Phil’s face lit up.

 

Phil pulled him into a hug. “Thank you,” he said sweetly. “Let me just make one phone call and then I’ll be all yours.”

 

Dan blushed at the wording, ‘all his’, he’d like that. “Sure thing,” he replied. “I’ll get a game started,” he added, making himself right at home in Phil’s place.

 

“Perfect,” Phil agreed. “Be right back,” he placed a hand on Dan’s arm as he walked past him and into what Dan assumed was his bedroom to make the phone call. Dan touched his arm where Phil had, god he wanted those hands on him again. He shrugged off the thought and entered the living room area, looking through Phil’s game selection.

 

“Sorry about that,” Phil said as he entered back into the main room a couple minutes later. “I promised a friend I’d give them a call and I didn’t want to lose track of time with you and forget.”

 

“No problem,” Dan responded, looking up at Phil from his place on the floor in front of the TV. “Co-op or VS?” he asked, holding up Halo and Donkey Kong.

 

“Co-op,” Phil answered pointing at the Donkey Kong game. “I’d rather work with you than against you,” he added. “Plus, I have a feeling you’re way too good at that game.” he added, pointing to the other game.

 

Dan laughed. “What gave you that impression?” he asked. “Do I seem like the kind of nerd who spent their teen years up all night playing Halo and smack talking strangers?”

 

Phil chuckled. “Well, yes,” he answered. “But also I remember you telling me you had the soundtrack on your phone. Only a dedicated fan would have the soundtrack.”

 

“It’s got some bops!” Dan replied defensively, pouting.

 

Phil leaned down, kissing the top of Dan’s head. “Sure it does,” he replied, in a tone you’d use on a child.

 

Dan felt his heart race, that had felt oddly intimate. He knew it was just his brain playing tricks on him, his own pent up state making everything seem like more than it was. “It does,” he whined, putting in the Donkey Kong game.

 

Phil chuckled, grabbing a controller and selecting the game on the menu. “Can I get you anything?” he asked, tossing the controller on the couch and walking over to the kitchenette.

 

“Ribena,” Dan answered. “Please tell me you have some,” he added, knowing if Phil didn’t then he would have to bring his own next time.

 

Phil laughed. “Of course I do, I’m not an animal,” he replied.

 

“Well, technically-“ Dan was stopped when he saw a personal sized bottle of the fruity drink being tossed at his head. He caught it quickly. “PHIL!” he yelled.

 

He heard Phil let out a loud sigh of relief. “I’m sorry! I only considered the fact that you might not catch it after it was already in the air,” he replied, looking guilty.

 

Dan rolled his eyes. “Think before you act, mate,” he responded. “Now, get your ass over here or I’m starting without you.” Phil joined him on the couch and they played together, bickering and shoving each other when they got annoyed, laughing the whole time. Hours passed and the sun started going down, the orange hue coming in from the large glass sliding doors that lead to Phil’s balcony.

 

“I should get going soon,” Dan said, looking up and noticing the way the sky had changed. He hadn’t meant to stay that long, he only intended to spend an hour or two at most. They’d spent all of the day before together and Dan didn’t want Phil to get sick of him.

 

“I suppose it is getting quite late,” Phil mused, looking away from the game as well.

 

“Yeah, I should head back for dinner,” Dan replied, getting up off the couch.

 

Phil nodded in understanding. “Thanks for coming by,” he said, getting up and walking with Dan to the door.

 

“I hope I didn’t overstay, I didn’t realize the time,” Dan admitted blushing a bit. “Don’t want you to get sick of me.”

 

Phil laughed and pulled him into another hug. “I doubt that’s possible,” he replied. “You’re welcome here whenever.”

 

“Thanks Phil,” Dan replied, he held on to Phil for a moment longer than he normally would, not wanting to leave the warm comforting feeling of Phil’s embrace. “Can we film together again soon?” Dan asked hesitantly, pulling away from the hug. He wasn’t sure how many videos he’d be able to make with Phil, surely people would want to see different couples and not always the same.

 

“Of course,” Phil answered with a smile. “I was actually going to ask you about that, I’d like some clips for advertisements and such, it won’t be the same amount of pay, but it’s also a much shorter work day.”

 

Dan nodded. “Sounds good, just let me know when works for you,” he replied. It wasn’t about the money for Dan, not really, he was just sad that a shorter work day meant less time with Phil.

 

“I’ll text you the times I’m free,” Phil responded. They shared one more quick hug before Dan headed out of Phil’s apartment and back to his own dark, empty one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel every time I add a new chapter to this I get farther and farther from an ending point ^^; I keep getting more ideas for chapters and adding them to a list, so now this might end up really long... >.< If some of you aren't into reading a story that might end up with 50 chapters no hard feelings at all I appreciate you sticking with me this far <3 But if that's you're thing you might be in luck cause lord knows I can't condense a story for the life of me ^^;
> 
> Thanks for reading <3


	25. Chapter 25

Dan was thankful that Wednesday, when he walked into the SCC building, knowing he’d be getting to film with Phil again after over two weeks of not filming. His dreams of Phil had kept up; he didn’t have them every night but he’d had four in total, each one making it harder and harder for him to ignore his sexual feelings. His own hand and his small collection of sex toys could only do so much.

 

Cynthia was on the phone behind the desk. She looked up and put a finger to her lips, asking Dan to be quiet. After a second she gestured him down the hall, pulling the phone away from her mouth for a second. “Phil’s in his office,” she whispered before returning attention to the phone. Dan nodded and gave her a smile and a wave. He walked down to Phil’s office seeing the door open and another man inside with Phil.

 

The man was attractive. He was almost the same height as them, in good shape, blonde and spoke with an American accent. Dan waited by the door not wanting to interrupt the conversation. Phil looked up and noticed him gesturing for him to come inside. “Dan,” Phil said with a warm smile, getting up off the couch and coming over to give him a hug.

 

“I can come back if I’m interrupting,” Dan said, accepting Phil’s hug but pulling away quickly.

 

“No not at all,” Phil assured. “This is Joshua,” he said, motioning to the man on the couch. “Joshua, this is Dan, he’s another model here,” he explained.

 

“You’re also a model here?” Dan asked, looking to Joshua. He hadn’t ever looked through the book again after seeing Phil so he didn’t recognize his face.

 

“I am,” Joshua replied with a friendly grin. “Nice to meet you,” he added. “Are you new? I don’t recall seeing you in the book. Pretty sure I’d remember.”

 

Dan blushed. “I’ve been working here a month and a bit,” he answered.

 

Joshua turned to Phil. “Somebody's been holding out on us,” he teased. Phil gave an awkward chuckle and Dan looked between them, confused as to what was going on. “I looked through the book just last week and I am sure you weren’t in it,” he explained, seeing Dan’s confusion.

 

“Really?” Dan questioned, looking to Phil. “I thought all the models were in it?”

 

“Not all exactly,” Phil replied. “If someone has stated they are only willing to work with one or two specific people I don’t bother adding them since it mostly results in a lot of declining of offers and I don’t see the point,” he explained. Dan nodded that made enough sense. Part of him kind of hoped Phil had just wanted to keep him for himself.

 

Joshua got up off the couch. “Well, if you’re ever open to working with more people, I’d love to work with you,” he said with a kind smile, placing his hand on Dan’s shoulder as he walked past. “I’ll leave you two be,” he added, exiting the room.

 

Phil said a quick goodbye and closed the door behind him. “Sorry about that,” he said with a smile. Looking Dan up and down and smiling.

 

“It’s fine,” Dan replied. “Is it weird that I’m not in the book?” he questioned.

 

“No, some people only like to work with one person, it’s not completely out of the norm,” Phil replied. “I can add you though, if you’d like.”

 

Dan shook his head. “No, I’d rather just stick to filming with you,” he answered. “I assume we won’t be able to film too much together cause people will want to see it changed up, but for now I’m more comfortable this way.”

 

Phil smiled at him. “Actually, a lot of people like to see a couple dynamic, the more we film together and have a history and even better chemistry the more interest we’ll have to that demographic,” he explained.

 

Dan tried to stop the smile that spread across his face but he knew he didn’t fully succeed. “I’m glad, I was actually going to ask if there was any way we could film together more often,” he replied. “I could use the extra money,” he added, wanting to have a reason besides the one he couldn’t tell Phil. The real reason, the fact that he wanted Phil’s hands on him and felt cold when they weren’t.

 

Phil pondered for a moment. “We could definitely do that,” he replied. “Before you leave, remind me I have something I want to give you for you to read over.”

 

Dan gave him a questioning expression. “Alright,” he replied. “You ready to get to filming?”

 

“Aren’t you eager,” Phil teased. Dan knew he meant nothing by it, but he flushed because he really was eager. Dan followed Phil into a room they hadn’t been in before, unlike the ones they’d filmed in that were set up like bedrooms, this one was set of like a kitchen/living room, similar to the one in Phil’s own apartment but without all his knick-knacks.

 

“What are we filming in here?” Dan questioned. “Please tell me you’re not planning to fuck me on the counter,” he teased, knowing that he’d actually go along with it if that was the plan.

 

Phil laughed. “Oh god no,” he replied. “That counter is not a comfortable height for that.”

 

Dan chuckled. “Talking from experience are we?” he asked with a smirk.

 

“Once,” Phil admitted. “Never again,” he added shaking his head. “I guess we could fuck against it though, if you want,” he mused, adjusting the pillows on the couch.

 

Dan flushed, suddenly images of Phil fucking him into the counter filled his brain. “I’m up for pretty much anything,” he replied with a shrug.

 

“Really now?” Phil questioned. “I’m glad you’re growing more confident,” he added.  “You know what? I did have some thoughts for today but I’d like you to choose what we do.”

 

“What really?” Dan asked, suddenly feeling nervous.

 

“Yes,” Phil replied. “Any room any theme, whatever you want,” he added. “I’d like you to have some control over this, especially if it’s something you want to do more often.”

 

Dan hesitated to answer. He was scared he’d say something weird but he knew Phil wouldn’t judge him. The main issue was that he wanted everything. It had been too long and whatever let him be intimate with Phil was what he wanted. “Umm…” Dan blanked, his mind so filled with thoughts it seemed empty.

 

“Don’t stress,” Phil said sweetly, coming over and putting his arms around Dan’s waist from behind. Dan felt his body pressed against his own and his heart thumped loudly. “We have all the time you need,” he added. “Just think about it. What do you most want right now?”

 

‘You’ was the only thought his brain could come up with. “Can we do something similar to last time, but more hard-core?” he asked, his voice soft. His body was threatening to get aroused just by the feeling of Phil surrounding him.

 

“So you want me to be dominant but take things a bit farther?” Phil asked, confirming that they were on the same page.

 

“Yeah,” Dan answered. “I know last time you focused more on my praise kink, I was wondering if this time we could focus on the humiliation and dirty talk side of things.” He did his best to calm his breath and not freak out, but he was still red with embarrassment when he finished speaking. He felt Phil press a kiss to his cheek and he calmed a bit.

 

“Sounds fun,” Phil replied, his voice getting that dark tinge it got when he was domming. “Why don’t you go pick a room and I’ll grab PJ,” he added, voice cheery again. “No one is currently filming so you can open any of the doors.”

 

“Alright,” Dan agreed, swallowing hard. They exited the room and split ways. Dan waited until Phil turned the corner and then leaned against the wall, gasping for breath, he’d felt almost suffocated, like his arousal was choking him. He needed to get this out of his system and this was the perfect way to do it.

 

Dan took a deep breath and started looking in some of the rooms. He knew he wanted a bedroom but he was looking for something a bit different, he just didn’t know what until he saw it. He opened one of the doors and instantly knew it was the one he wanted. The walls were a pale grey, the furniture was black, the floor was covered by the fluffiest white rug, but what intrigued Dan was the mirror. One of the walls was just a huge mirror, unobstructed by anything. He remembered seeing that Phil had a thing for mirror sex, he’d had to go home and look up what Katoptronophilia was after seeing it in Phil’s profile.

 

He couldn’t say he was keen on the idea of watching himself as he came undone by Phil’s hands but he also couldn’t deny the fact that just the thought of watching Phil watch him turned him on. He left the door open so Phil could easily find him and took a seat on the high bed. He turned and looked at himself in the mirror, when had he become this person? Instead of wearing all black to try and hide himself, he was wearing the pink jumper he’d bought days earlier, his hair curly because he didn’t feel the need to straighten it anymore. He smiled at himself, he liked how he looked, or at the very least he liked that Phil liked it.

 

“Interesting choice,” Phil said. Dan looked over, Phil voice pulling him from his thoughts. He saw Phil with a cheeky grin, leaning against the doorframe.

 

“Is it okay?” Dan asked, mostly just because he wanted Phil’s verbal approval, not because he doubted his decision.

 

“It’s perfect,” Phil replied, his grin softening to a smile. “Did you pick this for me?” he asked sincerely, he knew it wasn’t one of Dan’s own kinks.

 

Dan blushed and nodded. “I remembered you like mirrors,” he replied shyly.

 

Phil took a seat beside him on the bed and took his hand, their eyes meeting and locking onto each others. “But you also want this, yes?” he asked. “Don’t do things just for me.”

 

Dan nodded again. “I want this,” he said clearly.

 

“Alright,” Phil replied, accepting his answer. “What else?” he asked. “Do you want me to wear something specific? Do you want to pick pet-names? Any details you want I will go along with.”

 

Dan flushed, that was too much power for him to handle. “You look good as you are,” he replied. Phil was wearing a pale blue jumper that made his eyes shine even brighter than normal, paired with a basic pair of dark jeans. He had his perfectly styled quiff and although when he and Dan had parted ways only moments ago he’d been without glasses, they were now returned to his face. Dan couldn’t help but wonder if he’d put them on just for him. “Really good,” Dan added after giving Phil a once over.

 

“Thank you, Dan,” Phil replied. “With Joshua there earlier I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, but when you walked into the room you may have stolen my breath for a just a second.” Dan ducked his head, unable to take a compliment of that magnitude. “You look so soft and beautiful,” he added, lifting Dan’s face.

 

“Thanks,” Dan whispered.

 

Phil took his hand away but Dan kept his head up, meeting Phil’s eyes again. “What about the names?” Phil asked.

 

“Can I stick with calling you sir?” Dan questioned. “I like that better than master or daddy,” he added.

 

Phil chuckled. “Of course, Dan, whatever you want,” he replied. “You can also call me Phil if you’d rather, no one said it had to be a term like that.”

 

“I know,” Dan answered, not wanting to elaborate and admit that he liked calling Phil sir during sex. “You can call me whatever you want,” he added. “You know what I like.”

 

Phil nodded. “Can I ask something without you getting upset?” he questioned.

 

Dan felt instantly worried. “Yeah,” he replied, biting his lip.

 

Phil put a comforting hand on his leg. “Nothing to worry about Dan,” he said, calming Dan’s nerves. “I was just going to ask how you feel about name-calling, like being called a slut.”

 

Dan’s face turned red and he felt the urge to duck his head again but he fought it. Phil saying that word was not something he expected, but it wasn’t something he was against either. “Can I say it’s fine, with conditions?”

 

“What do you mean?” Phil asked.

 

“I’m fine with it, but not in any kind of angry tone,” Dan explained. “Affectionately is okay though.”

 

“That’s perfectly fine,” Phil replied. “Is it just okay, or is it something you’d be into? I don’t want to push you, especially with something like that which can affect your self esteem if not done right.”

 

Dan tried to ignore his burning cheeks as he spoke. “It’s something I’d be into,” he admitted.

 

Again Phil just smiled, this time leaning in to kiss his cheek. “You don’t need to be embarrassed, Dan. I’m not judging you,” he said softly. “But you have to promise me if I say something that hurts you that you’ll tell me right away, okay?”

 

“Yes sir,” Dan replied, already feeling himself waiting to let go and let Phil take over.

 

Phil booped his nose and brought Dan back with him. “Not yet,” Phil said. “Once we start you can get into that headspace if you want, but wait until then.” Dan nodded in understanding.

 

PJ entered the room and set up the cameras while both Dan and Phil went to the nearby bathroom and got ready for the scene by brushing their teeth and relieving themselves. By the time they returned PJ was ready and waiting. They went over the safeword system and the rules again, Phil double checking what Dan was and wasn’t okay with.

 

Dan climbed onto the bed and looked at Phil. “You ready to start?” he asked, trying to hide his excitement that he was mere moments away from being allowed to touch Phil.

Phil chuckled. “Aren’t you forgetting something?” he asked. Dan looked down at himself, then around the room, trying to see what Phil was talking about. Phil leaned in, close enough that only Dan could hear him speak. “You always ask for a kiss before we start,” he said.

 

Dan blushed but he couldn’t contain his smile, leaning in and pressing their lips together in a chaste kiss. “Better?” he questioned, teasingly.

 

“Much,” Phil replied, looking so sincere that Dan didn’t know how to respond. “We’re ready now,” he said turning to the camera. PJ gave a thumbs up and started filming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was supposed to include the scene as well but I realized that knowing me it would end up super long so I'm cutting it here. I'll have the scene up soon though ^^


	26. Chapter 26

Dan didn’t hesitate this time, the way he had in the past. He knew what he wanted, and he needed it too much to wait around. He stood up and grabbed Phil’s sweater, tugging Phil towards him and crashing their lips together almost violently. Phil gasped, a bit taken aback by Dan initiating the act. He recovered quickly and took over the kiss, holding Dan tightly around the waist and leaning over him so his back arched.

 

For a split second Dan was nervous he’d fall with his weight off balance, but he trusted Phil’s hold on him. Dan lost himself in the moment. He let Phil support his weight, let him control the kiss, he let him take over and let himself feel what he was feeling. His emotions were all over the place but the strongest ones were desire and longing, he wanted Phil so bad, he didn’t want to have to let go.

 

Eventually Phil pulled back and Dan felt his heart sink as he was forced to stand on his own two feet. “I think someone’s getting ahead of themselves, don’t you think?” Phil teased, bringing his hand down to stop Dan’s hips from the involuntary grind they’d been doing against his thigh. Dan flushed, he hadn’t realized he’d been doing that. “You don’t have to be embarrassed, I know you can’t control yourself.” Phil mused, giving Dan the most condescending smirk.

 

Dan felt a bit lightheaded, the power Phil had over him was beyond what Dan ever thought was possible. It was true, he couldn’t control himself. “You’re right, sir,” Dan replied, eyes cast down.

 

“Look at me Daniel,” Phil commanded, Dan’s eyes lifting again and locking onto his own. “Good,” Phil said with a smile. “I wanted to see if you were going to listen tonight or if I’d have to make you listen.” Dan stood stock still, unable to move or speak. He gulped, watching the way Phil’s eyes traveled his body. “You can speak,” Phil added.

 

Dan tried to form words. “I’m sorry sir, I got lost in my head,” he replied honestly.

 

Phil stepped close to him again and put a hand on his cheek. “Stay with me. I want you to be in this with me,” he said. Dan nodded. Phil pulled his hand back and slapped him lightly. “Words Daniel,” Phil reminded.

 

Dan gasped when he felt Phil’s hand hit his cheek. It didn’t hurt, Phil was extremely careful and made sure of that, but it shocked him all the same even though Phil had checked in with him before filming if that kind of thing was okay. “I’m here with you, sir,” Dan parroted back. He tried to put his hands back on Phil’s chest but Phil stopped him with own hands.

 

“No touching,” Phil said with a smirk. Dan felt like whining but he doubted it would get him anywhere.

 

“But-“ Dan went to speak up but was shushed by Phil.

 

“But nothing,” Phil replied. “No touching.” Dan gave him pleading eyes and Phil chuckled darkly. “Not going to work on me darling, I know what you’re trying to do.”

 

Dan pouted, he was hoping to get Phil to cave. He didn’t actually want him to, this is what he’d asked for after all, but he liked to test and see how far he could push it. “Sir?” Dan asked softly, hoping Phil would consider his input if it wasn’t brought up in an argumentative tone.

 

“What is it?” Phil replied with a sigh, sounding unamused. Dan instantly wanted to break him, he refused to allow Phil to sound this unaffected while he himself was already dying to be touched.

 

Dan hesitated, his face flushed. He felt like he wasn’t allowed to ask for things, even though he knew that Phil would actually give him anything he asked for if he just used the right words. Dan bit his lip and Phil gave him an encouraging smile, urging him to speak up. “What can I do to earn the right to touch you?” he asked.

 

Phil eyes widened and shock flashed across his face before it was quickly covered by a smirk. “You want to bargain?” he questioned with a raised eyebrow. Dan nodded. “Interesting.” Phil brought his hand to his chin in a thinking manner. “Strip for me,” he replied after a moment.

 

That was something Dan could do, he wanted out of these clothes anyway, his tight skinny jeans far to restricting. He went to pull his shirt off but was quickly stopped. He looked at Phil, confusion on his face. Phil chuckled and lead him to stand in front of the bed, facing it, before he himself took a seat on the bed and stared at Dan. “I want you to put on a show,” Phil explained when Dan still looked confused.

 

“What? No, I can’t do that,” Dan said quickly, his fingers jittered as he stood still, watching Phil watch him, his anxiety creeping into his brain.

 

“Can’t? Or won’t?” Phil asked. To an outsider it would sound like a condescending power-play move but Dan heard it for what it was, it was Phil’s way of giving him an out. He knew he could safeword out or go along with Phil and see what other options he’d have, and he debated both of those choices. He wasn’t actually sure if this was something he could do, but he decided to try.

 

“I will try, sir,” Dan answered.

 

Phil gave him a sweet smile. “That’s all I ask,” he replied, his dominant façade breaking for a just a second.

 

Dan took a deep breath and focused his eyes on Phil, doing his best to block out the fact that PJ was there with a camera. If it was just him and Phil, he could do this. He swallowed hard and reached for the band at the bottom of his jumper, lifting it slowly. He slid his hands underneath, running his fingers across his skin as he moved them up to to rub his nipples, the jumper lifting up and revealing his chest. He bit his bottom lip and eyed Phil, letting out an exaggerated moan.

 

Dan’s embarrassment changed into confidence when he saw Phil tongue swipe across his bottom lip, starting to show signs that Dan wasn’t the only one with desires. He pulled the jumper the rest of the way off and tossed it onto the floor, running his hands back down his chest to play with the button on his jeans. “I told you to strip, not to tease me,” Phil said, breaking the silent tension that was between them.

 

Dan smirked, seeing the way Phil’s hands were gripped into the bedspread so he didn’t reach out and touch Dan’s skin. “You’re fun to tease, sir,” Dan replied, knowing he was pushing it.  Phil gave him a glare and he let out a soft chuckle before popping the button and unzipping his fly.

 

“Daniel, I don’t think you want to get on my bad side,” Phil said. “It won’t end well for you.”

 

“You don’t have a bad side, sir,” Dan replied with a cheeky grin.

 

“Cute,” Phil replied sarcastically, clearly over Dan’s playful banter. He got up and hooked his fingers in the belt loops of Dan’s jeans, pulling him forward roughly. He put one around his waist and used the hand of the other to hold his face. “I will only give you one warning,” he said. “If you apologize I will let this go.”

 

Again, Dan knew what this was. It was Phil’s way of letting him choose if he took a punishment or not. He mulled it over, he wanted a punishment of some kind, he wanted to know what Phil would do. So he stayed silent. Phil raised his eyebrow and Dan smirked. “So, you’re going to be like that, are you?” Phil said.

 

Dan nodded. “Guess so,” he replied, leaning forward to kiss Phil, even though he knew within the context of the scene he didn’t have permission to do it.

 

“On the bed,” Phil commanded. He didn’t raise his voice or use an angry tone, but the fact that it was a demand and not a suggestion was made very clear. Dan listened and got on the bed, waiting for further instruction. Phil leaned over him and shoved on his chest, making him fall back. He hooked his fingers under the waistband of Dan’s jeans and pants and pulled them both off in one quick go, dropping them on the floor. He looked up and smirked at Dan. “Are you getting off on the thought of what I might do to punish you?” he questioned.

 

Dan flushed. “No,” he replied defiantly.

 

“That’s a hard lie to pull off when you’re naked,” Phil reminded, gesturing to the hard cock laying against Dan’s stomach. Dan reached for the pillow beside him and hide his face behind it. “Now, now, darling, none of that,” Phil said, taking the pillow and putting it under Dan’s hips. “Don’t act all shy now when you’ve been begging me for this for days,” he added, cupping his own crotch with one hand.

 

Dan struggled so hard to keep his hands at his side, every part of his brain wanting to touch and get himself off to the view of Phil looking at him like he was his and it wasn’t up for debate. “I want you to sit up,” Phil said, another command. Dan sat up on his knees, looking at Phil with confusion, he didn’t know what to do from here. 

 

Phil smirked and got on the bed beside Dan, spinning him so he was facing the mirrored wall. Resting his head on Dan’s shoulder from behind him. Dan gasped and blushed heavily, seeing his flushed skin and needy eyes practically begging Phil to fuck him. Phil met his eyes through the mirror and smirked. “See what I mean?” Phil spoke darkly. “You can’t pretend you don’t want it when you look at me like that.”

 

Dan whined, he couldn’t help it, he was embarrassed and put on show and a part of him loved every second of it. Phil kissed his neck and rubbed his hands down Dan’s chest, stopping just before reaching his cock. “Look at your eyes Daniel,” he said. Dan looked stared himself down and felt overwhelmed. “What do you see?” Phil asked.

“Need,” Dan replied simply, hoping that would be enough. He was too worked up to speak correctly. 

 

“What do you need?” Phil questioned, biting his shoulder and making Dan mewl.

 

“You, Sir,” Dan answered. Phil grinned at looked Dan up and down through the mirror, making Dan feel more exposed than he ever had before.

 

They stayed silent for a few seconds, that to Dan felt like minutes, he still hadn’t had Phil’s hands on him, not where he needed them and he was ready to start begging if it got him what he so desperately needed. Phil moved his hands to Dan’s thighs and rubbed his hips, brushing so close to his dick that was wet with precome “Sir, please,” Dan said, voice quiet.

 

“No,” Phil replied smugly, it was obvious he liked when Dan said please. Phil took his hands off of Dan completely. “Lay down,” He said calmly, watching as Dan laid back down against the fluffy duvet. “I won’t touch you,” he added. Dan felt himself break, he didn’t think Phil would take it this far. He felt tears at the corners of his eyes, too frustrated and overwhelmed to keep them at bay. He closed them for a second and when they reopened Phil was right at his side, his hand on Dan’s cheek. Phil leaned down and kissed him, letting Dan take a moment to comfort himself. “I was only teasing, even I’m not that mean,” Phil said as he pulled away. “I won’t deny my sweet little slut.”

 

Dan’s whole body reacted to Phil’s words, he felt impossibly harder than before, and he couldn’t help the way he twitched slightly or the groan that fell from his lips. “You are, you know,” Phil said, putting a hand on Dan’s chest, playing with his nipple before sliding it down to between his legs, purposely avoiding his cock again. “You’re mine.”

 

Dan’s mind had shut off and Phil could see it. He could see that Dan was far too gone. He couldn’t blame him though; he didn’t remember a time he’d been this worked up himself. Dan couldn’t possibly know the way he affected Phil, from the second they started Phil was fighting every urge to touch him and kiss him, to let himself enjoy the close comfort of Dan while he was allowed to. Within the confines of filming he was allowed to want him, he didn’t have to fight the thoughts in his head or deny their existence.

 

Phil leaned down whispering softly in Dan’s ear. “Come back to me, Dan,” he said softly. He placed his hand in Dan’s and felt Dan grip it, a slight smile on his face. “Color?” Phil questioned.

 

“Green, just please fucking touch me” Dan replied, his own voice barely a whisper. It was enough that Phil could hear it though, kissing his cheek and hoping Dan would know that was a yes.

 

With Dan’s consent Phil moved the hand he’d left resting between Dan’s legs up a bit and rubbed his finger gently against Dan’s hole, feeling him tense. With the other hand, he grabbed the bottle of lube off the nightstand and poured some on his fingers. He watched Dan’s face as he barely pushed, causing one finger to part his entrance. Dan gasped and looked up at Phil with pleading eyes. “What are you?” Phil questioned.

 

Dan’s mind was hazy and he had to focus to try and figure out the answer to what Phil was asking. At this point all shame was gone, he’d do anything to end this insanely pleasurable torture with a satisfying end. “Yours, sir,” Dan answered, lifting his hand to touch Phil but remembering he wasn’t allowed.

 

“My what?” Phil asked again, smirking.

 

Part of Dan wanted to answer ‘fuck you’ but he knew that wouldn’t get him what he wanted. “Your slut…” he muttered. It was barely understandable but Phil accepted it all the same, not wanting to push Dan too far.

 

“That’s right,” Phil cooed. “My pretty little slut,” he repeated back. “You can touch,” he added seeing the way Dan’s hands clenched and unclenched clearly seeking something. Dan was thankful and quickly put his hands in Phil’s hair, the overwhelming sense of comfort drowning out every other thought besides his intense need for release.

 

Phil pressed his finger inside Dan’s body and kissed him deeply, letting his mouth distract Dan as he searched for his prostate. They kissed messily and uncoordinated but it didn’t matter, they weren’t kissing because they wanted to be sweet, they kissed because they couldn’t stand being apart for a moment longer. Dan’s back arched off the bed when Phil finally found that spot inside him that made all his muscles clench. He moaned, the sound muffled by Phil’s lips.

 

Phil didn’t relent, he kept rubbing over Dan’s prostate in little circles driving him mad. His hands switched from gripping into Phil’s hair to clawing at his back, unable to stay still, he shook and twitched unable to control the way his body reacted. Phil took mercy on him and brought his hand to Dan’s cock, giving it just a few hard strokes before Dan screamed out, his hands falling to his sides as his body finally let go off all the sexual frustration of the last two weeks.

 

He felt tears in his eyes again as he came across his stomach, rocking himself between Phil’s hands as he rode out his orgasm. Phil gave him space to breathe and whispered comforting words in his ear, kissing at his neck. He felt when Dan’s body relaxed, his tension leaving his body and being replaced with calm. Phil carefully removed his fingers and wiped them on a towel by the bed. He leaned over Dan and kissed him again, feeling the gentle slide of Dan’s tongue against his own as he basked in his afterglow.

 

Phil kissed him until he felt Dan’s hand on his back again. He pulled back a bit, opening his eyes and seeing Dan with a soft smile on his face. “Thank you, sir,” he said. Phil wiped the couple tears that had dripped down his cheeks before kissing him again.

 

“You’re welcome, baby,” Phil replied sweetly. “Are you good?” he asked, once Dan’s eyes seemed focused again. He nodded. “I didn’t push you?” Phil questioned, worried he’d taken it too far.

 

“No,” Dan replied. “You did exactly what I asked for and it was beyond what I imagined,” he added, leaning up to kiss Phil. “Can I reciprocate?” he asked, realizing Phil was still fully dressed and hadn’t been touched.

 

“Another time,” Phil replied, his smile soft and caring. “For now I think you should rest,” he added.

 

“Will you stay with me?” Dan asked, his eyes silently begging.

 

“Of course,” Phil replied. “There is nowhere else I’d rather be.” Phil kissed his cheek, grabbing the towel and wiping off his chest and between his legs before getting up and adjusting them so Dan was under the covers and then climbing in behind him. “My beautiful good boy,” Phil said, putting his arm around Dan.

 

Dan laced their fingers together, above the covers because he was aware that this was still all an act, despite his own feelings and how much this felt like it was real. He closed his eyes and let his breathing even out, still feeling Phil’s lips on the back of his neck for another minute or two before he drifted in and out of sleep. He was vaguely aware of Phil calling ‘cut’ and PJ packing up and leaving but after that sleep took him completely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a question for the readers this time, so if you're willing to answer that would be much appreciated ^^
> 
> If the scenes inside this fic were actually porn you could find online (and you were the type to watch porn) do you think you'd watch them? Like would you watch porn with aftercare, gentle touches and emotions? I am curious how unbelievable it is that there would be a market for that ^^; 
> 
> Anyway, like always, thanks for reading! <3


	27. Chapter 27

Dan had expected to wake up alone, the room dark and quiet, but his assumptions were proven wrong when he rolled over in the bed, seeing Phil sitting beside him. When he’d fallen asleep Phil had been under the covers with him, still dressed in his day clothes, now though, he was on top of the duvet in joggers and a t-shirt. He watched Phil for a moment, the other not yet realizing he was awake. He was stunning in the dark room, lit up by the light from his phone screen. “Didn’t expect you to still be here,” Dan mused.

 

Phil looked over to Dan with a smile. “I couldn’t leave, we haven’t talked yet,” he replied. Dan nodded. “So, how do you feel?” Phil asked, turning on the lamp by the bed and shutting off his phone.

 

“Good,” Dan replied. “Incredible,” he added. “You… Well you really know what to do with your hands.” Phil blushed. “I still feel a bit bad about not helping you out though,” Dan said, gesturing to between Phil’s legs.

 

Phil chuckled. “Don’t worry about it, I took care of that,” he replied.

 

“Hopefully not in here beside me,” Dan said, looking mock horrified. He really couldn’t care less, if anything he’d just be sad he slept through it.

 

Phil laughed. “No, not in here, you spork,” he said, shaking his head. “You were in a deep sleep, I thought I’d be safe slipping out for a couple minutes.”

 

Part of Dan’s mind told him to tease Phil, ask him if he’d gotten off to the scene they’d filmed, but he knew that was crossing the line. “You really didn’t have to stay,” Dan said, sitting up and remembering he was naked under the covers.

 

“I didn’t do it for you,” Phil replied. Dan gave him a questioning look. “It’s protocol to have a conversation after filming to make sure everyone feels okay about what happened. If one or more parties fall asleep then we wait till after they wake up.”

 

“Is this a protocol you just made up?” Dan questioned with a raised eyebrow.

 

Phil chuckled. “Possibly,” he replied with a sheepish grin. “I mean; we do have to talk after a scene, but I wouldn’t generally stay in the bed.”

 

Dan laughed. “Oh, so other people get their privacy, but not me?” he teased. “I see how it is.”

 

Phil laughed. “Exactly,” he replied with a wide smile.

 

Dan rolled his eyes. “Whatever Phil,” he responded with a chuckle. He appreciated Phil staying with him. He stretched his limbs out before getting off the bed, fully aware of the fact that he was naked while Phil was fully dressed, but it didn’t bother him as much as it once had. “Thanks for making sure I was okay,” he added with a genuine smile, taking one of the robes off the dresser and securing it around himself.

 

“You are, right?” Phil questioned. “Especially with the name calling I wa-“ Phil was cut off by Dan speaking over him.

 

“Phil, honestly, I’m good,” he responded. “I know you don’t actually think of me as a slut,” he added with a laugh. “Or well… You don’t think of it as a negative if you do.”

 

“Of course not,” Phil replied. “Slut shaming is awful,” he added, his eyes on Dan as he took a seat on the end of the bed. Dan nodded in agreement. “And anyway, I’ve been doing this almost a decade, if you’re a slut what would that make me?” he added with a chuckle.

 

“A total whore,” Dan replied with a laugh. Phil leaned over and hit Dan’s arm lightly, making him snicker. “How was it for you?” Dan asked, more serious. “I mean, besides the fact that you didn’t get off,” he added with an apologetic smile.

 

Phil grinned. “Incredible,” he replied. “You looked so beautiful, I’m sure it will make for a perfect scene when edited.”

 

Dan nodded. Sometimes for a just a second he’d forget that this was all about the finished product. “I feel like this one will be a bit awkward to watch back,” he admitted.

 

“Why is that?” Phil asked, looking genuinely curious.

 

“I’ve never let myself go that much, not during sex for sure,” Dan replied. “I’m not sure I even remember everything that happened.” Dan’s eyes looked down at the duvet below them.

 

Phil reached over, placing one of his hands on top of one of Dan’s. “Hey,” Phil said softly, getting Dan to look up to meet his eyes. “If it’s too personal we won’t put it up,” he said, giving Dan a sweet smile. “You gave me a lot of trust; I don’t know it that’s something I’d be able to do if the roles were reversed.”

 

“Really?” Dan questioned. He’d never really thought about it too much, it seemed natural to trust Phil to that extent. He knew he didn’t have to worry because the other man would protect him.

 

“Yes, Dan,” Phil replied. “Allowing yourself to be that vulnerable is very difficult.”

 

“It doesn’t seem that hard when you’re there because I know you won’t let me get hurt,” Dan replied.

 

“I take the responsibility of your safety very seriously,” Phil agreed. “The trust you put in me will never be taken advantage of,” he added. He said it like it was more a vow than a reassurance. Dan didn’t need to be assured because he already knew.

 

Dan got up off the bed again. “Okay, enough of that,” he said, not wanting to get too into his emotions. “You said you had something you wanted to give me before I left?” He remembered Phil telling him to remind him of something earlier that day.

 

“Right, right,” Phil replied, getting up off the bed. “I’ll go find it in the office,” he added. “Get dressed and meet me there.” Dan watched as Phil left the room, closing the door behind himself. Dan redressed in his clothes from earlier, they were a bit more rumpled but they did the job. He checked his pockets, making sure he had all his things, then left the room and headed to Phil’s office.

 

The door to the office was open and Dan could hear Phil talking to himself, mumbling about finding something. “What did you lose?” Dan asked, leaning on the door frame.

 

Phil sighed. “Some paperwork,” he answered. “We don’t use these ones often so I don’t remember where she put them…” he muttered, opening drawers and flipping through stacks of paper.

 

Dan chuckled. “Want me to go ask Cynthia?” he questioned.

 

“I would, but she’s gone home for today,” Phil replied. He pulled out another large stack of papers and starting rifling through them.

 

“Really?” Dan questioned. “What time is it?” he asked, pulling out his phone to check. It was 6:30. He hadn’t realized he’d been asleep that long. “Oh my god, I am so sorry Phil,” he said, realizing Phil was currently working overtime just to babysit him. Phil looked up from the stack, looking at Dan like he hadn’t heard anything but his name. “I didn’t realize I was keeping you past work hours,” Dan said.

 

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” Phil replied, waving it off. He scanned through one last stack. “There you are!” he said triumphantly to the papers. Dan laughed, but he didn’t ask what it was, he knew Phil would tell him in a minute.

 

Phil put all the papers back away in their respective places and then took a seat on one of the couches, gesturing for Dan to come sit beside him. Dan did just that, glancing over at the papers. “This,” Phil said passing the papers to Dan. “Is a ‘Relationship contract’.”

 

“A what?” Dan asked, baffled by the concept. “He’d heard celebrities sometimes paid people to have a fake relationship, but he doubted this was the same thing.”

 

Phil laughed. “It’s a weird name I know,” he replied. “Basically, it’s just a contract that says neither party will film with other people,” he explained. “Obviously outside of work you can sleep with whomever you want, but for the sake of filming we’d be exclusive.”

 

“Okay…” Dan replied, still confused. “I already am though,” he added. “Like I know it’s not in the contract but you know I won’t be filming with anyone else.”

 

“I know,” Phil replied. “This isn’t just because I want that in writing though, this is actually something that changes the way we’d work together,” he said. Dan felt nervous, he liked what they had and he didn’t really want it to change. “This is not something you have to do,” Phil reminded. “Just based on what you said earlier it seemed like you might be interested in this kind of arrangement. If I’m wrong, we can just keep things as they are.”

 

“I’m not opposed to it,” Dan replied. “Can you tell me more about it?” Dan stared down at the papers but didn’t read the words, he just looked at them as if they’d get absorbed into his brain.

 

“Of course,” Phil replied with a comforting smile. “First off,” He said, getting Dan’s attention back. “As I said, we’d be exclusive, not just you. I also wouldn’t film with anyone else,” he clarified.

 

“Wait, really?” Dan asked, turning his attention fully to Phil and putting the papers down in his lap. Phil nodded. “You’d be okay giving up filming with other people?”

 

“I would,” Phil replied. “I enjoy filming with you because I genuinely care about you as a friend,” he added. “I like a lot of the other guys, but I don’t consider what we have friendship the way I do with you.”

 

Dan smiled, he definitely agreed with that. “Okay,” he replied. “What else is there?”

 

“Well, if for some reason you wanted to film with someone else I would expect you to at least call or text me beforehand,” Phil said. “You know I don’t believe in binding contracts, so there isn’t a consequence if you do break the agreement, but I would appreciate the heads up.”

 

“Of course,” Dan agreed. “That doesn’t really apply to me cause I’m too awkward to start this whole process again with someone else,” he added with a chuckle.

 

Phil laughed and nodded. “Okay, the last big difference is that we’d have our own section of the site,” he said. “Every ‘couple’ gets their own little page on the site where they have the option to do write-up’s or little Q&A videos or whatever. On top of that we’d also film more often and have different kinds of scenes on occasion.”

 

Dan listened intently as Phil explained the way the ‘Relationship contract’ worked. “So, what kind of content would we do?”

 

“Well, since people who are into these types of things are into getting to see more of the actually relationship and not just sex, we will most likely have some much milder videos. Kissing, making out, possibly showering together, things like that,” Phil explained.

 

Dan laughed. “Do I actually get paid just to make out with you?” he questioned, genuinely curious.

 

Phil chuckled. “Not the same as you would for sex, but yes that’s how it works,” he answered with a smile.

 

“Okay,” Dan replied with a shrug to mask is internal excitement at the idea. He’d make out with Phil for free whenever, honestly he’d probably pay Phil to kiss him but he wasn’t going to fight it, he could use the cash.

 

“I want you to go home and read over everything,” Phil said, gesturing to the papers in Dan’s lap. “I will send you a link to one of the other ‘couples’ pages so you can see how it works.”

 

“Alright,” Dan responded.

 

“One more thing,” Phil said, his voice a bit less cheery than before. Dan gave him a questioning expression. “If this is something you decide to do we will need to be a bit more careful with affection outside of filming, it’s easy for lines to get blurry,” he added, sounding serious.

 

Dan felt his stomach drop but he didn’t want that to show. “I understand,” Dan replied with a nod. “Scared you’ll have a hard time resisting all of this,” he added, gesturing to his body with a cheeky grin. He had to tease to cover up his own emotions, he was just glad he’d gotten good at doing that.

 

Phil laughed and bit his tongue. “Yes, Dan, you got me, I just can’t keep my hands off you,” he replied sarcastically.

 

“I knew it,” Dan replied, crinkles forming by his eyes as a smile spread across his face.

 

“Go home and read it over, you can call me once you’ve decided,” Phil said, stopping the banter.

 

“Yeah, I’ll do that,” Dan replied. “Are you leaving too?” he asked.

 

“I will in a minute,” Phil answered.

 

“I doubt that,” Dan responded. “Cynthia would be mad if I left you here working all night so I won’t leave until you do,” he added, settling his weight into the couch and letting out a dramatic sigh.

 

Phil rolled his eyes. “Fine, let’s go,” he said, getting up. “I’ll walk you out,” he added. Dan smiled, knowing he’d gotten his way. He got up and followed Phil out of the office. He realized that there really was no one else in the whole building. “Cynthia offered to stay, by the way,” Phil said as they walked past her desk.

 

“What do you mean?” Dan asked.

 

“She said she’d stay if I thought you’d be uncomfortable with it being just us here,” Phil clarified. “I assumed since we’ve hung out together at my place it would be fine and said she could go. I just wanted you to know she was going to stay for your comfort.”

 

“Oh,” Dan responded. “That’s sweet of her,” he added. “You were right though; I wasn’t at all uncomfortable.”

 

“That’s good,” Phil replied with a smile. “I just didn’t want you thinking she up and left without checking on you.”

 

Dan smiled. “I wouldn’t think that,” he responded.  “I know she’s always watching out for all of us,” he added. “She’s the SCC mom.”

 

Phil laughed. “She really is,” he agreed. “Wait…? Does that make me the dad?” he questioned, holding open the front door for Dan.

 

“Mmmm, sure does, Daddy,” Dan replied with a wink, stepping past him. He heard Phil’s laugh behind him and he smiled, there was no sound more beautiful than that laugh.

 

“What are you’re plans for this evening?” Phil asked, as he locked the door, securing the building. 

 

“Go home, play a game and browse social media most likely,” Dan answered. “You got any big plans?”

 

“Not really,” Phil responded. “I have to eat something though,” he added, turning to Dan. “Want to grab a bite to eat?” 

 

“Together?” Dan questioned. Phil nodded. “That sounds an awful lot like a date, Lester,” Dan replied teasingly. “Thought we had to be extra careful with the lines now?”

 

Phil chuckled. “First off, that only applies if you sign that contract,” he reminded. “And anyway, it’s just a meal between friends.”

 

Dan smiled. “I’d love to join you,” he answered. “Better then going home and eating alone for sure.”

 

“My thoughts exactly,” Phil agreed, smiling back. “There’s a great place a ten-minute walk from here.”

 

“Lead the way,” Dan replied. Phil pointed down the street and started walking off in that direction. Dan followed close behind. He watched as his hand moved on it’s own, reaching out and taking Phil’s hand in his own. Phil looked down when their hands made contact and smiled and Dan, not pulling away. Dan blushed, but he liked the contact and if this was the last time he’d be allowed to hold Phil’s hand he wanted to make the most of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am completely making up this "relationship contract" thing. I don't believe such a thing exists but I don't actually know ^^; 
> 
> On a total side note I found out I got into Uni today! I can honestly say that if it wasn't for fanfic's and the awesome people that read them I wouldn't have gotten in. I used to have a full blown panic attack anytime I had to write anything but having people read my work and not make fun of me for my bad grammar or misuse of words is what gave me the courage to finish school and apply to University. Thank you all so much <3


	28. Chapter 28

Dan took a couple days to read over the “Relationship Contract” and make his decision. Nothing in the contract gave him pause, it was what he’d been wanting from the beginning. He wanted to film more often and he liked the idea of doing soft scenes, the only thing stopping him from signing right away was the fact that he’d have to give up any intimacy with Phil outside of filming. He knew why Phil made that a condition, it made perfect sense, but it didn’t make the idea any easier. Dan mulled it over, but in the end he signed it. If the only thing holding him back was unrequited feelings for Phil, that was no reason to decline such a great offer.

 

He knew Phil would want to be given the papers directly, just as he had wanted the last time Dan had signed the contract to work for SCC. He also knew Phil got off work at 5:00 on Friday’s, so he had an hour to go drop them off if he wanted them in before the weekend. He quickly rushed to get ready, throwing on clothes and fussing with his hair for a minute before grabbing his bag, stuffing the papers in it, and heading out to catch the bus.

 

It was almost five when he reached the door to the SCC building but he saw that Cynthia was still inside so he let out a sigh of relief. He took a second to calm his breathing so it wouldn’t be obvious that he’d run from the bus stop, then pushed open the doors and smiled when he noticed Phil was on the couch in the main room, talking with Cynthia. “Hey,” Dan said with a wave. Cynthia waved back.

 

Phil looked over and his face lit up. “Hey, Dan,” he said cheerily, getting up and coming over to Dan. “What brought you in?” he questioned.   

 

“I wanted to drop these off,” Dan answered, reaching into his messenger bag and taking out the signed papers.

 

Phil flipped through them quickly, seeing the signature and smiling. “This is something you want?” he asked, always double and triple checking everything.

 

“Yeah,” Dan replied. “I see no down sides to it,” he added, leaving out the one huge downside of no more contact.

 

“Did you look at the links I sent you?” Phil questioned, wanting to be sure Dan had all of the info before making a decision, even though he wouldn’t be mad if Dan changed his mind down the road. Dan nodded. Phil smiled. “Perfect,” he replied. “We will file these away,” he added, passing the papers to Cynthia. “Are you comfortable starting next Monday? I would like to film every couple days or a few scenes the same day, whatever works better for you.”

 

“I’m fine doing it either way,” Dan replied. “As long as it’s softer stuff, I don’t think I can get it up quickly enough to film multiple sex scenes in a row,” he added, with an awkward laugh.

 

“And that’s my cue to leave,” Cynthia said with a laugh, getting up from her desk. “I’m teasing,” she added. “I actually have to go because I have a date,” she said with a smile.

 

Dan smiled back at her. “Go get her,” he said with a wink as she walked passed.

 

“I intend to,” Cynthia replied. “Nice seeing you again, hopefully I won’t have to run out on you next time,” she added with a chuckle. They all said quick goodbyes and she headed out the front door.

 

“Where were we?” Phil asked, turning his attention back to Dan.

 

“Discussing my inability to get off multiple times an hour,” Dan replied with a laugh.

 

“Right,” Phil said, blushing a bit. “That’s normal, I’m not able to either,” he agreed. “But yes, if we were to film multiple scenes in one day only one would be full sex, if any.”

 

“In that case I’m more than happy to film a couple at once,” Dan replied.

 

“Perfect,” Phil said with a smile. “We can discuss more over the weekend,” he added. “I hate to rush you but I actually have somewhere I need to be.” Phil gave him an apologetic look.

 

“That’s fine, no worries,” Dan responded, waving it off. “I just showed up without warning, minutes before you leave work, I didn’t expect you to hang around for me.”

 

“Oh, I do have something I need to give you though. Wait here,” Phil said, not giving Dan a chance to respond before he was gone, disappearing down the hallway. Dan waited like Phil had told him to, shifting awkwardly from side to side. He felt a slight bit of tension between them, their normal comfortable energy seemed a bit off. He sighed. Maybe signing this contract wasn’t the best idea.

 

Phil returned a moment later and passed Dan a USB drive. “What’s this?” Dan asked, looking over the nondescript drive.

 

“It’s got the last scene we filmed on it,” Phil answered. “It’s very personal and I think you should go over it by yourself and decide what you think without my input swaying you,” he explained.

 

“Are you sure?” Dan asked. “I know you said you don’t like having multiple copies of things.”

 

Phil nodded. “That’s for the safety of the models but I trust you and it’s only us on there so I’m not worried about it,” he replied. “You can text me if you have any questions or any edits you want made.”

 

“Okay,” Dan agreed. “I’ll let you know once I’ve watched it,” he added.

 

“Sounds good,” Phil agreed. “I need to get going now,” he added, checking the time on his watch.

 

“No problem,” Dan replied. “See you on Monday,” he added with an awkward wave, not knowing if he was still allowed to hug the other man.

 

“See you then,” Phil replied with a smile.

 

Dan felt his heart sink, he wanted to ask Phil if hugging was still allowed, but he had a feeling he wouldn’t like the answer. He gave Phil a quick smile and a nod before he pushed open the door and headed off down the street to the coffee shop nearby. He needed to sit and think. He might have made a big mistake signing that, he wasn’t sure if he could work with Phil if their chemistry wasn’t the same.

 

He cursed himself for not asking what Phil meant by “Affection” when he said they’d have to stop it. It wasn’t in the contract and he’d never considered that something like hugging would count. When he reached the door to the coffee shop he stepped inside and was hit with the smell of fresh baked goods. He ordered himself a pastry and a tea, taking a seat at a table in the corner.

 

The last time he’d seen Phil had been when they got dinner together and thinking back on it he swore that when they hugged goodbye Phil held him a bit tighter and longer than he had in the past, like he knew it may be the last hug they’d share off screen. If Dan had known, he might have held on even longer.

 

He thought, rethought, and over thought every little detail of the contract and his sick feeling. Angry at himself for getting attached, he didn’t want to lose the comfort he felt when he was around Phil, the easy conversations and genuine support. He’d never had a friend like Phil and he doubted he’d find another. He was deep in his thoughts when he felt a hand on his shoulder and almost spilled his hot tea all over himself.

 

“Sorry Dan,” PJ said, quickly removing his hand. “I tried saying your name but you were off in your mind,” he added.

 

Dan smiled when he saw who it was, calming instantly. “Sorry, yeah, I was busy overthinking something,” he replied. He noticed PJ also had a drink and a scone in his hand. “Care to join me?” he asked.

 

“Only if you don’t mind, I don’t want to interrupt your overthinking session,” PJ responded.

 

“Trust me, you’d be doing me a favour,” Dan replied with a chuckle.

 

PJ smiled and took a seat across from him, the small coffee table keeping them close. “Can I ask what’s on your mind?” he asked. “Sometimes a second opinion can help.”

 

“I don’t think it will this time,” Dan said. “Thanks though,” he added, knowing he couldn’t confide in PJ it wouldn’t be fair to ask him to keep secrets from his close friend. “How are you?” he asked, switching the subject.

 

“I’m good,” PJ replied. “A bit stressed because of some family stuff, but stress is part of adulthood.”

 

“I’d buy that t-shirt,” Dan replied with a laugh. He was only partially in the room with PJ, the other part of his brain still stuck on the fact that he might have messed up one of the best things he’d ever had.

 

“Dan,” PJ said, getting his attention. “I know we’re not that close and I respect your privacy but if something’s got you this worried I think you should talk to someone,” he added. “You and Phil are close, maybe talk to him?”

 

“It’s boy trouble, I don’t think he’s the person to ask for advice on that,” Dan answered, sort of lying. It was trouble he was having with another male so it wasn’t totally untrue.

 

“Oh, yeah… He might not be your guy,” PJ agreed with a chuckle. “In all the time I’ve known him, I don’t think he’s ever had a serious relationship.”

 

“Really?” Dan asked, intrigued. He had assumed that since Phil said he didn’t like one-night stands he had been in a few long-term relationships.

 

“Really,” PJ confirmed. “He had a couple guys he dated for a few weeks but as soon as I met them I knew they weren’t going to be around long,” he said, taking a sip of his drink. “Phil puts on a bit of an act when he’s around someone he doesn’t fully trust, he’s unaware of the fact that he does it, but it makes it obvious to me who he feels comfortable around and who he doesn’t.”

 

Dan nodded, listening as PJ spoke, stopping occasionally to take a bite of his scone. He’d only ever seen Phil around people he trusted so he didn’t know if he’d pick up on how he changed. “Does he act different around me?” Dan asked, trying to hide his burning interest under a layer of simple curiosity.

 

PJ laughed. “No, not at all,” he replied with a smile. “He trusts you completely.” Dan smiled. “Dan?” PJ asked, getting Dan’s attention again. “I really think you should talk to him,” he said. Before Dan had a chance to reply PJ got up, shoving the last bite of scone in his mouth. “I should be going.”

 

“Alright,” Dan replied. “Nice running into you,” he added. PJ smiled and nodded in agreement, giving a quick wave as he rushed out the door. Dan sighed, he was again left alone with his thoughts, slowly spiraling down into worst-case scenarios.

 

Dan didn’t remember the bus ride from the coffee shop, or the shower he’d had when he’d gotten home, his body on autopilot while his brain worked overtime. His depression and anxiety and been so much better lately and this feeling of struggling to breathe was unwelcome. He reached for his phone to call Phil, he was sure he could come up with an excuse as to why he’d called once he heard the other man's voice and calmed down a bit. His finger hovered over the call button for minutes before he hit it and waited for Phil to answer.

 

One ring, then two, then three, then four. The call went to voicemail and Dan broke. Phil had never not picked up before. He dropped the phone and cursed, feeling tears stinging his eyes. He had utterly fucked himself. He groaned loudly, choosing to feel annoyed over feeling sad. That night, Dan ended up falling asleep on his couch.

 

Phil, on the other hand, checked his phone around midnight when he got home from a hook-up. He’d been trying to ignore his feelings for Dan by sleeping with other strangers. Though it didn’t work, it at least made being around Dan bearable because he wasn’t sexually frustrated all the time. He saw a 3-minute voicemail from Dan, the longest his phone could record for. He listened to it, mostly just hearing static, it must have been a butt dial he thought. All he heard was “Fuck me,” and then what sounded like moaning. Phil flushed and quickly deleted the message. Dan must have called him during sex by mistake. Or that’s what he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't have much to say about this chapter cause my brain has already moved on to the next one haha. But as always thanks for all the support and all the Uni congrats <3 You guys (Gals, or generally cool peeps) are great and I appreciate you ^^


	29. Chapter 29

After his night of self pity and wallowing in his own depression, Dan pulled himself together and forced himself on his daily run. He’d come across a cute dog and the owner had allowed him to take pictures, which improved his mood a decent amount. After a shower and a good breakfast, he was feeling a lot better. He spent the rest of the day lounging around in an oversized jumper and his boxers, letting himself have a self-care day because he knew how much he needed it. Self care days consisted of many different things, but today it was wine, painting his nails- black of course and catching up on drag race.

 

His phone dinged and he did his best to check it with still wet nails. He saw an Instagram post from ‘AmazingPhil'. Of course he had notifications on for Phil, he couldn’t help but be curious as to what he was doing on any given day. He smiled, seeing a picture of Phil with his glasses and a wide smile, lounging on his own couch in his apartment, Dan knew that couch well, he thought about the moments they’d spent together on it. He sighed, again feeling a bit down at the fact that he’d most likely never get to share couch time with Phil anymore.

 

He read the caption. “Enjoying my day off but excited to get back to work on Monday ^^; I might be a workaholic… >.<”

 

Dan laughed, Phil was definitely a workaholic, no one worked overtime out of enjoyment unless they were. He wondered if there was any chance he was excited for Monday because that’s when they’d be working together again. He had just enough wine in his system to feel a bit bolder than normal. He typed a comment on Phil’s post. “I’m excited for Monday too ;)” Seconds later he saw Phil ‘like’ his comment but he didn’t respond. Dan wasn’t surprised really; it’s not like it needed a response.

 

He put his phone down on the coffee table and saw the black USB drive he’d placed there the night before. Now was as good a time as any to watch the film on it, he supposed. He got up and put away his nail painting supplies before going into his bedroom and grabbing his laptop off his bed where he’d left it. He put it back down, realizing he could just watch it in bed since this time it was just him. So instead of moving the laptop to the living room, he grabbed his bottle of wine and the USB drive from there and brought it into the bedroom.

 

He took a minute to make himself comfortable on his bed, queuing up the video and sipping his wine. He watched with wide eyes at the way he had grabbed Phil and pulled him down to kiss him, he hadn’t realized how desperate he looked, how desperate he truly had felt in that moment. Watching this by himself felt extremely different than when he’d watched the previous films with Phil sitting beside him, his body didn’t try to force away the arousal because it didn’t have to. He was alone in his bed, getting turned on by watching his own porn.

 

It wasn’t his fault though, he wasn’t really turned on by watching himself, it was the way Phil’s hands moved across his body, the way his lips kissed him fondly then smirked when he pulled away. It was his voice and the words he spoke. Everything about Phil on screen brought heated feelings to Dan’s body, his skin feeling on fire and his breath shallow.

 

He had told himself he wouldn’t ever fantasize about Phil, not while awake at least, he couldn’t control what his body did in his sleep, but here he was lost in the film; his wine forgotten as he reached for the lube on his night stand and pulled his pants down. There was a flash of guilt when Dan realized what he was doing but Phil had told him many times he was allowed to watch the porn he’d done in the past, surely he knew Dan might get off to it. So maybe he didn’t mind the idea.

 

Dan flushed as he watched himself strip on the laptop screen in front of him, that part was a bit hard to watch but when the camera panned to Phil’s face and Dan saw those hungry looking eyes scanning his body his opinion changed. He tried to see himself the way Phil seemed to and maybe he could see some of the appeal of his own body. Especially with the submissive way he acted with Phil’s eyes on him.

 

Dan poured some lube on his hand and tentatively brought it down to between his legs, taking his hardening cock in his hand. Of course he’d done this many times, he was a normal guy with an above average sex drive but this was somehow different, he didn’t feel fully alone. Maybe it was watching Phil’s hands on him that made him almost feel like Phil was in the room with him. Or maybe it was his overactive imagination and dissociative tendencies, letting him forget that the hand on him now wasn’t Phil’s. Watching it back he seen the appeal of the mirror, he saw the way Phil’s eyes were on him constantly, watching every movement with clear interest.

 

Dan felt of a flood of emotions when he heard Phil say “you’re mine” he’d forgotten he’d said that. At the time Dan had been so out of it that Phil’s words were mostly going over his head unless he was expected to responded but now, looking back at it, the words had a stronger effect. He flushed when the version of him on screen said he was Phil’s slut, he hated that it wasn’t fully a lie. The more time he spent with Phil the harder it was to imagine having sex with someone else.

 

Dan moved his hands as he saw Phil do in the film, trying to put himself back in the scene as best as he could. He added more lube and switched his hand from his now fully hard cock to his hole, following the motions of Phil’s hands on the screen. It couldn’t even pretend it felt as good as when Phil had fingered him but it was something.

 

He moved the laptop so he had access to both hands and got himself off the same way Phil had. Watching the way Phil looked at him as he fell apart on the screen in front of him was all it took to get Dan off, coming mere moments after his on-screen self had. He paused the video, giving himself a moment to come down off his high and clean up.

 

After a couple minutes he got up and washed his hands before returning to the bed to finish the small amount left of the video. He felt emotional, watching Phil wipe away his tears and give him gentle kisses. The sweet softness Phil showed him after a scene was what Dan wanted all the time. He felt tears in his eyes, he was a bit too drunk to properly handle his emotions right now, all he knew was that he wanted to be in Phil’s arms right now, the way he was on the screen and the fact that he wasn’t made him feel cold and just a bit broken.

 

He took half an hour to compose himself, pulling himself together enough to take a picture of his painted nails and text them to Phil. Partially because he cared what Phil thought but mainly because he just wanted some form of contact with him and right now this was the only way to get it.

Dan: Spent the night doing this.  
Dan: Image sent  
Dan: What do you think? Can I leave it on for filming?

Phil: They look lovely Dan!  
Phil: Definitely keep them :)

Dan: Thanks.  
Dan: What are you up to tonight?

Phil: Playing games by myself. I’m kind of bored ^^;

Dan: Do you have any that are online co-op?

Phil: Yeah I have a bunch.  
Phil: Do you want to play with me? :D

Dan: Sure, just give me a minute and then I’ll call you and we can see which ones we both have.

Phil: Okay!

Dan: Warning though, if I sound a bit off I might be a tad past tipsy haha.

Phil: Maybe I’ll have a better shot at winning then ;)

 

Dan rolled his eyes but he smiled wide, he didn’t know how Phil could change his mood so fast but he was thankful for it. Thankful that he didn’t have to be alone anymore, Phil was always there just a text away.

 

Phil was glad that Dan reached out to him. He’d been considering another hook-up to make himself feel less alone but as soon as he got a text from Dan he made the realization that one text from Dan brought him more joy than any hook-up ever had. He decided then and there that he was done with hook-ups. He deleted the app off his phone and felt a sense of relief.

 

Dan called him and they spent hours online, playing games and chatting through the headsets. Smack talking each other, making horrible puns and laughing at nothing. Sounding like best friends that had known each other since childhood, with stupid inside jokes that no one else understood. The awkward tension Phil had felt yesterday was no longer there. He couldn’t help but wonder if Dan had also sensed it. He was glad it was gone, but he was worried that when they were in person again it would come back.

 

When they finally decided it was time for bed and went to hang-up, Phil spoke up. “Dan?” he said, getting the others attention.

 

“What is it?” Dan asked, yawning, it was past midnight and he’d woken up early.

 

“Sorry, if you’re tired we can talk later, it’s not that important,” Phil replied, not wanting to have what could be a serious conversation, if Dan was too tired to pay attention.

 

“No, it’s fine, say your piece,” Dan replied.

 

“Yesterday…” Phil muttered, unsure of what he wanted to ask exactly. “I feel like it was weird between us, something just seemed off. Is it because of the contract? Or am I just overthinking and worrying about nothing?” Phil knew he had the tendency to think about situations way more than the average person and fret over every little detail.

 

There was a pause and Phil felt anxious but after a moment Dan spoke. “I know you said we couldn’t be… What was the word you used?”

 

“Affectionate?” Phil questioned, wondering if that’s what Dan was getting at.

 

“Yeah, you said we couldn’t be affectionate outside of scenes and I get that, I understand why you put the rule in place but can we still hug at least?” Dan questioned. “It feels weird to just, not do it. Like, am I supposed to greet you with a handshake now? Cause that’s awkward,” he added with a laugh.

 

Phil let out a quiet sigh of relief, thankful that Dan felt the same way. “Yes, I agree,” he replied. “It felt strange earlier because I also wasn’t sure what to do, I wasn’t sure if you’d count that as affection so I wanted to be careful.”

 

“I don’t count it as anything I wouldn’t do with a friend,” Dan responded.

 

Phil smiled. “Good,” he replied. “Next time I will give you extra hugs to make up for missed ones,” he added with a chuckle.

 

Dan laughed. “Whatever, you dork,” he responded, yawning again.

 

“Alright, you should go get some sleep,” Phil said, not wanting Dan to ruin his currently decent sleep schedule he’d been working on achieving.

 

“Yeah,” Dan agreed. “I’ll see you Monday,” he added.

 

“Yes, you will,” Phil replied. “But you can call me before then, if you want to,” he added, with a blush, thankful that Dan couldn’t see his face.

 

“Might just do that,” Dan responded.

 

“Goodnight Dan,” Phil said, listening as Dan said the same to him before he hung up. He smiled wide. He couldn’t wait till Monday, he wanted to put his arms around Dan again. Communication really did solve all problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided I feel way less comfortable writing masturbation than I do sex ^^; I will need to work on that.
> 
> Anyway I feel like I have a good idea as to where this fic is going right now and I'm glad y'all are with me on the journey :D


	30. Chapter 30

Dan and Phil talked all throughout the weekend and when Monday rolled around and Dan showed up at the SCC building to film, it was instantly clear that any tension between them was gone. Phil was waiting in the entrance for Dan to arrive, a bit nervous but mostly excited when he seen Dan through the glass doors. He looked gorgeous like he always did and Phil was thankful he’d be allowed to hug him this time. As soon as he stepped inside, Phil quickly pulled him into an embrace. “Hey,” he said with a warm smile, holding Dan tightly in his arms.

 

Dan wrapped his arms around him and let them share a long hug to make up for the ones they’d missed. “Hey,” he replied, resting his head on Phil’s shoulder. His scent was so familiar and comforting to Dan, making it hard to let go.

 

Phil chuckled when they finally pulled apart. “I think hugs definitely suit us more than awkward handshakes,” he said. Dan laughed and nodded in agreement. “How are you feeling today?” Phil asked.

 

“I’m good,” Dan replied honestly. He was sure that tonight when he was leaving Phil and returning to his empty apartment it would be different, but right now he was content, excited for the day of filming. “You?” Dan questioned.

 

“I’m wonderful,” Phil replied, beaming. “I have the apartment room all set up and PJ is ready whenever we are,” he said. “No rush though, we can just talk for a bit first if you’d like.” As much as he wanted to get to filming, he also wanted to just talk with Dan. Though they’d been texting and chatting though the phone it wasn’t the same. One of the things Phil liked most about Dan, was the way his emotions showed so clearly on his face and through his body language. 

 

“Nah, I’m ready to start now,” Dan responded. He’d been waiting to get his hands on Phil again and now that he was so close he didn’t want to wait longer. Plus, he didn’t need time to get comfortable with Phil, even if they’d been away from each other for a few days, as soon as they were together again it felt like they’d never been apart.

 

“Wonderful,” Phil replied excitedly, glad that he and Dan were on the same page. He swore Dan seemed as eager to start as he did.  “Follow me, then,” he added, taking Dan’s hand and heading off down the hallway towards the room set up like an apartment. 

 

Dan let Phil guide him to the room even though he remembered where it was, he liked the feeling of Phil’s hand in his own and he wasn’t going to pull away from that. “Are we still doing it like we planned?” Dan asked.

 

“Unless you’d like something changed,” Phil answered, separating their hands to open the door, holding it for Dan. Dan smiled in thanks and walked into the room. It was set up the same as before, but there were added blankets and a few trinkets to make the place look more lived in, as well as fresh muffins on the counter creating a sweet scent that filled the air.

 

“Hey,” PJ said, speaking up from the corner, behind his camera set-up.

 

Dan laughed. “Hey,” he replied with a wave. “Sorry, didn’t see you, I was distracted by the food,” he added, walking over to the counter.

 

“I can’t blame you,” PJ replied. “I had one, they’re really good.”

 

“Did you make these?” Dan asked, turning to Phil. He knew they’d planned a bit more of a scripted scene, something domestic and cute to make them appear like a real couple that lived together. When they’d discussed baked goods Dan expected Phil to just buy something, but these definitely look homemade, though not in a bad way. Phil and PJ both started laughing. “What?” Dan questioned, eyeing them both.

 

“I’m not good at baking,” Phil replied with a sheepish grin.

 

“Or cooking,” PJ added in. “I don’t know how he’s survived living alone all this time when he can’t make himself food without burning down the place,” he added with a chuckle.

 

“Not fair, Peej,” Phil whined. “That was only once, I’ve improved since then!” he insisted. He still ordered in most nights instead of cooking but he no longer set the fire alarm off on the rare occasions he did cook.

 

“Have you now?” Cynthia said, stepping into the room. They all turned to her and she posed like a diva pretending PJ’s camera was for her. “If you’re such a great baker then why was I told I had to bring muffins to work?” she asked, eyebrow raised.

 

“Cause…” Phil muttered. “Dan might actually take a bite of one of these and I don’t want him to spit out food on camera,” he replied with a chuckle.

 

Dan laughed. “So you made these?” he asked, looking to Cynthia.

 

“Fuck no, I can’t bake worth shit,” Cynthia replied. Phil looked to her and she realized she’d broke from the proper secretary character she usually put on. “Oh, sorry,” she said, her voice changing back into her secretary one. 

 

“It’s fine,” Phil replied with a smile. “It’s just us here and I don’t think Dan cares if you’re acting professional or not,” he added. He did try to have Cynthia keep up her work persona when she was on the clock because it was important to make everything seem professional and respectable. Plus, having a bit of a wall up between her and the actors was better for her safety. Though in all honestly, he liked her much better when she was being her true self and he was glad she felt she could drop the act around Dan. It made them feel like an odd little family.

 

“He’s right,” Dan replied with a chuckle. “I like you way better this way,” he added.

 

Cynthia smiled and nodded. “Thank fuck, I can get all my cursing out in front of you, It’s hard to be polite and ladylike all damn day,” she said. Dan snorted, he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep up that kind of act up for long himself. “Anyway. No, I didn’t make them, I paid my mother to do it with money I took from Phil’s wallet.”

 

“That’s where those bills went,” Phil said with a chuckle. He had assumed Cynthia had taken them so he wasn’t concerned. She would run errands for him on occasion and take his money or cards to pay, she was like family and he was never worried about her stealing.

 

Dan laughed. “You could have just asked me to bring them,” he said, turning back to Phil, who looked confused. “The muffins,” Dan clarified. “I could have made them.”

 

“You can bake?” Phil questioned, eyes wide in surprise. It never crossed his mind that Dan might be able to cook but suddenly thoughts of him in a cute apron baking breakfast filled his head.

 

“I’m not amazing but I can follow a recipe and make something edible,” Dan answered.

 

“That’s better than Phil, trust me,” PJ said, adjusting the settings on the camera. Phil glared at him but PJ seemed unbothered by it.

 

“Mr. Lester, please keep that in mind for next time so I don’t have to try and explain to my mother why my boss needs muffins for a porn shoot,” Cynthia said.

 

“That must have been an awkward conversation,” Dan replied with a chuckle. “Seriously Phil, ask me next time, I don’t mind.” Dan wanted to make something for Phil, he’d have to find an excuse to make him dinner at some point.

 

“I will definitely ask you next time, I’d love to try something you made,” he replied, his genuine smile making Dan blush. Phil turned his attention back to Cynthia. “Why are you here again?” he asked, looking perplexed. Cynthia was very serious about work and didn’t leave her desk during work hours just to chat.

 

“I came in to give you this,” she answered, passing Phil a set of keys. “Good luck,” she said with a smile before exiting the room to let them work.

 

“What’s that for?” Dan asked, pointing to the key in Phil’s hand.

 

“It’s the keys to some of the rooms,” Phil answered. “It makes it more believable that I’m coming home to a real apartment if I have to unlock the door,” he explained. “It’s a small thing but I like to get myself into a scene as much as possible.”

 

“Right, makes sense,” Dan responded. “Method actor,” he added with a teasing grin.

 

“Props help make a scene,” Phil replied. “Though I doubt anyone will be paying attention to if I have keys or not,” he added, reaching over and playing with one of the curls falling over Dan’s forehead, making Dan blush.

 

“Right,” Dan replied with a chuckle. “They’ll be far too distracted by the fact that baking supposedly happened in this spotless kitchen.”

 

Phil looked around and definitely saw what Dan was saying, it was far too clean to be believable. “We can change that,” Phil said with a grin, picking up a bag of flour he’d bought earlier in the week as a prop and tipping some out of the bag and into his hand. Dan looked at him confused, before Phil tossed the handful of flour at him.

 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” Dan yelled, jumping back. “I’m wearing black Phil!” he added, trying to brush it off with, without success.

 

Phil stopped for a second, worried that he’d actually upset Dan. “That’s it!” Dan opened the bag of sugar and threw some at Phil. He grinned to let Phil know he wasn’t actually mad.

 

“Okay truce,” Phil said, putting his hands up, he needed to stay clean to make the scene work. “Let’s work together to make this place look like it was used, yeah?” Dan nodded and they set about messing the place up. Dan took some mixing bowls and spoons out of a cupboard and Phil dusted a layer of flour over the countertop carefully avoiding getting it on his black jeans and dark t-shirt. 

 

Dan ran his hands through the flour to make it look less perfect. “Better?” Dan asked, looking around at their purposeful mess.

 

“Almost perfect,” Phil replied, taking a bit more of the flour and flicking some in Dan’s hair. “Perfect,” he added with a smile, booping Dan’s nose because he couldn’t resist.

 

Dan made a grumpy face, but he couldn’t actually be mad, not when Phil was smiling at him like that and almost, maybe, sorta, calling him perfect. “Ready to start?” Dan asked.

 

Phil nodded. “You ready PJ?” he asked.

 

“I’ve been filming for the past 10 minutes,” PJ replied with a chuckle. “Thought I’d capture your childish food fight for blackmail,” he replied with a laugh.

 

“Send me that file, I want blackmail on the boss as well,” Dan said, teasing to cover the fact that he actually wanted it. He was curious how he looked at Phil when they weren’t filming, did his face always light up when their eyes met the same way it did when they were doing a scene.

 

PJ nodded and Phil rolled his eyes and chuckled, looking to Dan with a questioning expression, silently asking if they were starting now. Dan leaned forward but then pulled back. “I was going to kiss you first but I remembered I’m covered in flour,” he said with a snort.

 

Phil cupped Dan’s face and leaned in, giving him a quick soft kiss. Dan felt a shiver go down his spine when their lips met, when Phil pulled back Dan was left stunned for a second before he recovered and smiled. “Ready when you are.”

 

Phil smiled back at him. “I’m going to go outside for a second and lock the door, is that okay?” he asked. Dan nodded. “Okay, PJ, when you hear the click of the lock that’s your cue.” Phil left the room and Dan got behind the counter.

 

Dan heard the lock click signifying their scene start and he suddenly felt a tad nervous, he’d never been alone in the room with the camera but he remembered that this was just PJ and Phil, no one else had to see it if it was awkward. He smiled and hummed, stacking the muffins from the tins onto a plate. Only seconds passed before he heard the key in the lock again, letting him know Phil was back. He pretended to look surprised then let a wide grin spread across his face as Phil opened the door and stepped inside.

 

“I’m home, baby!” he called out, kicking off his shoes. “Wow, it smells great in here,” he added, stepping into the sight of both Dan and the camera. Dan felt his heart race. Sure, all of this was an act but it didn’t stop himself from picturing this as his real life, Phil coming home from work and giving him that smile every night.

 

“Welcome home,” Dan replied, putting out his arms so Phil would come over and give him a warm embrace. “Wait babe,” Dan put his hands out. “You’ll get your clothes all covered in flour,” he added with a chuckle. “I made a bit of a mess.”

 

Phil laughed and smiled. “I don’t care,” he replied, pulling Dan into his arms and kissing him. If he was allowed to pretend for just one moment that he was coming home to this person he cared so much about, he was going to cherish every second of it. 

 

Dan let himself melt into the kiss, dropping his guard. This was supposed to seem real so he was allowed to let his feelings show more than he normally did. Dan put his arms around Phil’s neck and deepened the soft kiss. “Missed you,” he mumbled out in-between kisses.

 

Phil separated their lips, pressing his forehead to Dan’s. “I missed you too,” he replied, looking into his eyes. Dan felt almost faint. They’d never been this close together, making eye contact and being soft, it made his mind blank. He wanted to stay in the feeling of this moment. “Baby? You okay?” Phil asked, pulling back a bit.

 

“Sorry,” Dan flushed. “Just got caught up in your eyes for a moment,” he replied, knowing how cheesy and fake it would sound despite it being the truth.

 

Phil chuckled and kissed him again.  “You’re so precious,” he replied, kissing his forehead. Dan wouldn’t admit that Phil cupping his face and kissing his forehead made him want to cry because he felt so secure. He covered his emotions by picking up one of the muffins and holding it up for Phil to take a bite of. “Mhhmm,” Phil hummed, chewing the sweet treat. “Damn baby, that’s almost as sweet as you,” he said with a wink.

 

“I doubt that,” Dan replied with a grin, taking a bite of the same muffin before putting it back down. He tipped his head back and forth like he was pondering. Truthfully the baked goods were incredible, Cynthia’s mom had a real talent, but he was playing it off. “I’m definitely sweater,” he confirmed.

 

Phil’s couldn’t deny that fact, his smile spreading across his face. “Care to prove it?” he asked, eyebrow raised in a challenge. Dan gripped his hands onto Phil’s open denim jacket and pulled him against him, kissing him deeply, his tongue sliding into Phil’s mouth. Dan was convinced that Phil was the sweetest thing in the room but he kept that to himself.

 

Phil kissed along Dan’s jaw and then down his neck, moving his hands down to under Dan’s hips. “Can I lift you onto the counter?” he asked, voice a whisper and face hidden by Dan’s shoulder so it wouldn’t be caught on camera. Dan let out a breathy moan that he knew Phil would understand as a yes. He felt himself be lifted and then the cold counter replaced Phil’s warm hands.

 

Dan buried his face in Phil’s shoulder now, switching their positions, he sucked a spot on Phil’s neck. “You taste like sugar,” he muttered, realizing it must have been from the food fight. He kissed and licked at the particles of sugar that had stuck to Phil’s skin.

 

“Guess you’re rubbing off on me,” Phil replied, bringing Dan’s face up again so they could kiss properly. Phil was pressed against the counter, his chest against Dan’s. Dan’s fingers gripped into his hair and kissed him like he was desperate, like he’d missed him, because he had. As much as this was a scene, Dan felt the feelings he was supposed to be faking, he felt the pull towards Phil, the longing to never part his side. He wrapped his legs around Phil’s hips to keep him as close as possible as they made out on the countertop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew... For some reason this chapter felt hard to write ^^; Anyway, I'm sorry I haven't updated this in like a week, I've had a lot of work and also just generally been stressed but I've realized I don't sleep well if I don't write for at least an hour before bed so I guess I'll have to try and keep that up haha. 
> 
> Thanks for your patience! <3


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ^^ After Dan's coming out video I wanted to take some time off from writing Phanfics and think about how I wanted to handle it. I obviously mean no harm with my work and it is clearly fiction not at all intended to reflect my views on either of them. I have decided that unless they ask us to stop writing about them I will at the very least finish this story because I enjoy it and it's brought a lot of good people into my life. 
> 
> These are words of follow Phanfic author and friend Spring_Haze. I wanted to share them as I agree with her statement.
> 
>  
> 
> "This is the first piece of writing that I have uploaded since Dan's video about his sexuality and his relationship with Phil. There has been a lot of controversy with regard to writing and reading fan fiction in the last week, and it is important to me to address the issue here with my work.
> 
> I have been writing about Dan and Phil for nearly two years, and I have always made it very clear that my works, while based on real people, are purely fictional. I do not write to cause harm or infer anything about the nature of their private relationship.
> 
> I have always been, and will remain, a protector of their personal relationship and their privacy, and I write for entertain purposes only. The rules remain the same.
> 
> Dan specifically addressed their shared desire to keep the details of their personal relationship and life together private, and I believe that it is more important than ever that we, as a community, respect their wishes.
> 
> Disrespect comes in many forms: asking inappropriate questions, requesting inappropriate poses during meet ups, recording and/or photographing them without their knowledge and consent, harassing their friends and/or family members for personal information, etc. All of these are examples of the types of things that I will personally report and discourage.
> 
> I recently tweeted the following:  
> "Please respect Dan and Phil's personal relationship. He made it clear that it is too special for consumption. This is not a free for all. The deserve privacy, love, and respect. Dan trusts us with this part of his life; don't make him sorry."
> 
> This tweet became very popular, and has been retweeted over a thousand times and liked nearly 4,500 times. It was even quoted in an article. While many people agree and support this sentiment, others argue that it is time for full disclosure.
> 
> It is my opinion that writing and enjoying fictional pieces inspired by Dan and Phil is acceptable and does not infringe upon their personal relationship. These fics are fictional by their very definition. Furthermore, Dan and Phil encourage creativity in all its forms, and this includes artwork. Therefore, writers and readers as well as artists and viewers, should continue to enjoy these creative mediums so long as we have permission to do so. In the event that Dan and Phil (or either man individually), states otherwise, I will be the first to delete my public works and honor their wishes.
> 
> So, I will continue to upload my finished pieces and works in progress for your enjoyment. Please don't let anyone make you feel ashamed or embarrassed for enjoying a good story or a beautiful piece of artwork.
> 
> Much love,  
> Spring_Haze"

The scene of them making out lasted a bit longer than planned, neither of them feeling the need to bring it to an end. Phil’s arms were wrapped tightly around Dan’s waist and their bodies were as close as possible as their mouths connected for long moments, pulling apart at times for air. They couldn’t help the small smiles that formed when they were mere inches apart from each other.

 

“Baby,” Phil spoke, pulling back enough to look at Dan without going cross eyed. God, he was so beautiful. Phil forgot what he was going to say when he saw the way Dan looked at him. His hair was a mess and his eyes were soft and wide. Dan tipped his head to the side with a questioning expression, urging Phil to keep talking. Phil noticed Dan’s hands gripping his own thighs as if he was having a hard time not grabbing at Phil. He smirked lightly, he loved that Dan got so worked up so fast, his tight jeans also not concealing his arousal. “I think we need to clean you up, wouldn’t you agree?” he asked, ruffling Dan’s hair and chuckling as the flour that he’d put in it earlier created a small puff of white.

 

Dan laughed. “I can clean myself up, it’s my mess,” he replied, hopping off the counter.

 

Phil stepped closer and trapped Dan between the marble and his body. “You sure about that?” he asked, smirk spreading across his face.

 

Dan gulped visibly and shook his head. “On second thought, I might need your help,” he agreed. Phil smiled, content with his answer and pulled him into a hug.

 

“Go turn the water on, I will pack these up,” Phil said, gesturing to the muffins. It was to allow a comfortable scene change and a gap to speak with Dan without it seeming awkward.

 

Dan leaned in and placed a soft kiss to Phil’s cheek. “Don’t make me wait too long,” he said breathily, nipping at Phil’s ear before walking out of the kitchen. Phil smiled and chuckled pretending to put the food away.

 

“Cut,” Phil called after a moment. He smiled at Dan who was waiting just outside the kitchenette area, out of shot. “That was fun,” he said with a grin.

 

Dan chuckled and walked back into the kitchen set. “Agreed,” he replied with a smile. “Are we actually going to go straight into the shower scene?” he asked, leaning against the counter. He looked so effortless and it made Phil drawn to him even more.

“I’ll go set up in the bathroom and give you guys a minute to talk,” PJ said, speaking up from the corner where he had mostly stayed, rarely moving to get shots. Phil nodded in thanks and PJ smiled back before packing up his equipment and leaving the room.  

 

Phil was thankful that PJ knew his process well enough to know exactly when Phil wanted to talk with Dan alone. “That’s up to you,” Phil said, replying to Dan’s earlier question. “How do you feel? Is there anything we need to discuss about what just happened or about the shower scene?” he asked. He grabbed a cloth from a drawer and wiped down the counter as they talked.

 

Dan tipped his head back and forth like he was thinking. Phil tried not to giggle at how cute he looked like that. “I would like to if you’re alright with it,” he answered. “If I’m supposed to be totally soft though I might need a minute or two,” he added with a chuckle, stepping away from the counter so Phil could clean it.

 

Phil laughed. “That’s fine,” he replied. “I don’t think it really matters either way,” he added. “If we are naked and touching in the shower I don’t think we will both be able to stay soft anyway.” Phil shrugged and Dan laughed, nodding in agreement.

 

“You’re seriously the best kisser,” Dan mused. “I’ve never had someone be able to get me so worked up with kissing alone.”

 

Phil grinned, not just because of the praise but also because of how comfortable Dan was with speaking his mind. “I think we just fit well together,” Phil replied. “Having someone the same height as me is rare,” he added with a chuckle.

 

“Don’t be modest, it’s not cute,” Dan replied with a playful groan. “You know you’re good at this, if not you wouldn’t have been doing it for so long.”

 

“I suppose that’s true,” Phil replied sheepishly. It was partially true, but he hadn’t been lying either, he and Dan fit together better than anyone he’d ever filmed with and it made everything easier and better.

 

“Not going to tell me I’m also good?” Dan questioned, eyebrow raised challengingly. The teasing energy they’d had since before the scene even started was still surging around them both, making them a bit flirtier than normal.

 

“Hmmmm…” Phil wondered allowed. “I think I may need a tad more research to give a proper answer,” he replied teasingly. He was about to tell Dan he was joking and that he was a fantastic kisser, but before he had the chance to reply Dan cupped his face in his big hands and kissed him, slow and deep, not for the camera, not for an audience, just for them. Phil felt his heart jump, sink, and flip, all at once, the air leaving his lungs and making him feel dizzy.

 

Dan stepped back and smirked. Phil could tell that Dan was able to read his face. “Guess I’m good,” Dan said with a grin and a wink.

 

Phil blushed. “Yes Daniel, you are indeed incredible,” he answered with a soft smile. He dropped the washcloth on the counter. “You ready to go film the next scene?” he asked, the sudden need to have his hands on Dan returning.

 

“For sure,” Dan replied. “I’m not sure where the bathroom set is, so you’ll need to lead the way,” he added, stepping aside and allowing Phil to step in front.

 

“Right this way,” Phil said with a warm smile, he reached out his hand and Dan took it without a second thought. Phil was glad he was in front so Dan couldn’t see the goofy grin on his face. Something about Dan made him feel like a child, giddy and overly excited about every small thing.

 

PJ was still adjusting the camera setting to account for the change in lighting when they entered, separating their hands at the door automatically. “You guys good to go?” PJ asked.

 

“Yes, we decided to keep filming,” Phil replied, looking around the set to make sure everything was in order.

 

“Okay. Do you want to start with you entering the bathroom and undressing and stuff?” PJ asked, looking to Dan. “Or are we going to start with Dan in the shower already and you joining?” He looked to Phil.

 

Dan realized Phil was looking at him for an answer and blushed a bit. “Can we start with you joining me? I’m not the most comfortable with the idea of being naked by myself with the camera,” Dan answered.

 

Phil smiled, glad that Dan was honest. “That’s perfect,” Phil replied. “Want me and PJ to leave while you undress?” he asked. Just cause he’d seen Dan naked a few times now didn’t mean he had automatic consent to see it again.

 

Dan laughed. “It’s fine, you’re going to be joining me in a second anyway,” he answered. Dan started undressing, pulling his shirt over his head and PJ turned away because he felt more comfortable that way.

 

Phil turned the shower on, testing the pressure and temperature. “That should be good,” he said pulling his hand out of the stream and drying it on a towel. “You can change it though, of course.” He turned back to Dan who was now standing there naked and Phil focused hard on keeping his eyes on his face.

 

“Thanks Phil,” Dan said with a smile, testing the water and finding it pleasantly warm.

 

“You ready to start?” Phil asked, putting a hand on Dan’s back. “I’ll join you as soon as we start okay?”

 

Dan nodded. “Guess we don’t need to kiss first since we just spent like twenty minutes making out,” he replied with a laugh. Phil chuckled, leaning over and kissed Dan’s cheek, watching the dimple appear when Dan smiled.

 

Phil left the room and Dan got under the stream of water. Phil was outside the door when he heard Dan say “Scene start” to signify to PJ to start filming. Phil waited for a brief moment before turning the bathroom doorknob and entering into the warm bathroom. He entered quietly, watching Dan for a moment. He knew Dan sensed him enter, this was all just for the camera.

 

“You look beautiful, babe,” Phil spoke, alerting Dan of his presence, or in this case letting Dan know he could acknowledge him. Dan turned to him and smiled, his hair looked much longer wet and Phil was mesmerized by how it fell around his face. He watched the water run down Dan’s body and he felt something he’d never felt before while filming. He felt a tinge of jealousy that someone else would get to see Dan this way.

 

“You gonna join me? Or just stand there watching me?” Dan asked with a chuckle, bringing Phil back into the scene. Phil pulled his clothes off, trying to make a bit of a show of it but not so much that it seemed unrealistic. He met eyes with Dan who was watching him undress and he felt his cheeks heat. Dan glanced down and winked with a cheeky smirk, clearly noticing Phil also wasn’t soft. “Guess watching’s fun too, huh?” Dan teased.

 

Phil liked this playful side of Dan, this version of him that was so much more like his actual self, just played up a bit for the camera. Phil opened the glass door to the large two headed shower, stepping in behind Dan and putting his arms around his waist and kissing Dan’s shoulder. He heard Dan let out a quiet moan that he knew wasn’t for the camera and he chuckled against his skin. “Why don’t you pass me the shampoo and I’ll wash your hair?” Phil said, running a hand down Dan’s side.

 

Dan reached for the bottle on the shelf, reading the labels since he didn’t know the brand. He passed the shampoo to Phil and turned around to face him. Their eyes met again and they both turned a shade redder. “You look really good,” Dan muttered, bringing his hand up to Phil’s face. “Stunning even,” he added, brushing Phil’s hair back and kissing his large forehead.

 

Phil felt all of his emotions hit him like a truck, he felt overwhelmed in every sense. He felt overheated and almost sick, his stomach tight and his heart fluttering. He tried to force his brain into auto pilot, he knew what he had planned for the scene and knew Dan would go along with it and that it would be easy. He took a deep breath and poured the shampoo out into his hand, putting the bottle back before bringing his hands to Dan’s soft hair. He felt the bubbles foam beneath his fingers, watched as Dan closed his eyes and let out a content sigh at the feeling.

 

It was too much. He couldn’t take it. “Cut,” Phil said suddenly, shocking Dan, PJ, and even himself. “I’m sorry I don’t feel well,” he added quickly, washing the soap off his hands and stepping out of the shower, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around his waist.

 

Dan washed the shampoo away enough to open his eyes and look at Phil, who had rushed out of the shower so quickly. “Are you okay?” he asked, clearly concerned. “You could have said something sooner,” he added, stepping out as well and grabbing a different towel.

 

PJ, who had turned off the camera was now standing up and looking Phil over. “Can I get you anything?” he asked, worried about his friend.

 

“I’m fine PJ,” Phil answered. “I just suddenly feel exhausted and ill, I think I need to lay down.”

 

Dan put his hand on Phil’s arm. “Can I help you get dressed?” he asked gently. “Or I can go if you need a minute,” he added.

 

“Yeah, can I have a minute to myself please?” Phil asked. Dan nodded and gave him a smile, grabbing his clothes and leaving the room.

 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” PJ asked, turning off the shower and wiping up the small puddle from when they’d stepped out with the water still on.

 

“Yes, I just need to calm down,” Phil answered, he knew that PJ was aware he had anxiety attacks on occasion, it wasn’t new or overly scary.

 

“Okay, I will wait outside in case you need anything,” PJ replied, heading for the door. “I’ll come back and pack that stuff up, don’t worry about it,” he added, gesturing to the camera equipment.

 

“Tell Dan I’m okay and I’m sorry,” Phil said. PJ nodded and Phil watched as he left the room, closing the door behind him. Phil sunk to the floor and took a deep breath, his whole body felt tight and he fought back tears, though he didn’t know why he felt like crying.”

 

  
Dan was sitting on the floor outside the bathroom set, now dressed. He was sat against the wall and was rocking slightly from nerves. “Is he okay?” he asked as soon as PJ stepped out.

 

PJ smiled. “Yes, he said he is sorry and that he’s alright,” he answered. “Phil gets anxiety attacks on occasion,” he explained. “It’s rare when filming but he’s never filmed something like this before.”

 

“He’s never filmed a shower scene?” Dan asked, he’d assumed with how long Phil had been in the industry surely he would have.

 

“Not one that wasn’t intended to end in sex,” PJ answered, taking a seat beside Dan. “This is his first time with a relationship contract as well. He’s worked with the same people a few times but never with a fluffy scene like what you were filming, I think he realized emotions are harder than sex.”

 

Dan nodded. “I suppose faking emotions would be a lot harder,” he agreed. He felt hurt that Phil was trying so hard to pretend there was feelings that he made himself sick. It was so easy for him to act like he had feelings for Phil, because as much as he tried to deny it he did have those feelings. He thought that Phil could just use their friendship and genuine care for each other and just play up those feelings, using different wording to make it seem romantic for the camera.

 

“I think you should go for the day,” PJ said. “I doubt he’ll be up for continuing to film once he calms down.” Dan fidgeted with his damp hair, pulling at the strands to make drops of water. “You’ll still get paid for the scene,” he added. “Though I know that’s not what you’re worried about.” Dan looked at him. “I will stay with him,” PJ said with a smile.

 

Dan smiled back, he knew PJ could tell he needed assurance. “Is it okay if I wait in his office?” he asked. “I’d like to at least see that he’s okay before I leave.”

 

PJ nodded, kind smile still on his face. “Of course, I will tell him to go see you before he leaves.”

 

“Thanks PJ,” Dan replied. “Thank you for being there for him,” he added gesturing to the door that Phil was behind. PJ gave a nod of acknowledgement and Dan headed off toward the office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said in the notes above I wasn't sure if I could in good faith keep writing about them because people were saying how much harm it has caused, but the truth is that (as far as I know) neither of them have actually expressed that opinion, so I will continue to work on my writing and improve while hopefully making new friends along the way :) Thank you for hearing me out and if you take issue with my work that is totally okay. 
> 
> Please be respectful of both Dan and Phil, I would never want to cause them harm or discomfort <3


	32. Chapter 32

   
Dan was sitting on the couch in Phil’s office deep in thought, worrying about what might be going on with Phil. He scanned through social media on his phone just because the habitual motion was comforting in a way. He heard a light knock and looked up, seeing Phil through the glass door. Dan smiled at him as Phil pushed the open door and came inside. He was in joggers and a t-shirt, his glasses replacing the contacts he’d had in before. “How are you feeling?” Dan asked as soon as the door opened. He sat up and put his phone away, all of his attention focused on Phil.  
   
   
“I’m alright,” Phil replied, his voice quiet. He sounded tired and emotionally drained, something Dan could relate to very easily. “I’m sorry I worried you,” he added, meeting Dan’s eyes only briefly before looking away.  
   
   
“It’s fine Phil,” Dan assured. “As long as you’re okay that’s all that matters,” he added, speaking gently and warm. He patted the seat beside him asking Phil to sit, which he did.  
   
   
“It was unprofessional of me to have a meltdown during a scene,” Phil muttered, more like he was talking to himself than to Dan.  
   
   
Dan snorted. “Are you telling me all this time there’s been a way to control when you have a meltdown and no one told me?” he teased, shoving Phil ever so lightly with his shoulder. “Seriously, it’s not a big deal at all. If the roles were reversed you’d be happy I asked to stop instead of pushing through it, right?”  
   
   
Phil sighed, he couldn’t argue with that logic and Dan knew it. “You’re right,” Phil agreed. “Thank you for understanding,” he said, looking to Dan with a kind smile.  
   
   
“Of course,” Dan replied. “You look really tired,” he mused, brushing the fringe that had fallen into Phil’s face back up into his quiff, though it didn’t stay since his hair dried this way. Dan felt the way Phil almost nuzzled into the touch, he must be even more tired than he’d thought.  
   
   
“I am,” Phil admitted. “I want to go home and sleep for a day,” he added with a chuckle.  
   
   
“Do it then,” Dan replied. “Take a day off work and go sleep, you deserve it more than anyone,” he said. “Well, besides Cynthia,” he added with a laugh. Phil laughed as well and Dan felt Phil’s comfort levels returning to normal. “Are you going to take a cab? I don’t think you should drive tonight.”  
   
   
“I don’t want to leave my car here so I will drive,” Phil answered. “I will be very careful, I promise,” he added.  
   
   
Dan considered the situation, looking at Phil again and seeing the bags under his eyes. “Nope, that’s going to work.” Dan decided. “I’ll drive you home and take a cab from your place.”  
   
   
“You can drive?” Phil asked, looking a bit surprised.  
   
   
“Yeah, just can’t afford a car,” Dan answered with a chuckle. “I’m a good driver though I assure you,” he added.  
   
   
Phil smiled. “Okay,” he replied. “Can you take me home, Dan?” he asked, his eyes so soft and inviting.  
   
   
“I’d love to,” Dan answered with a wide smile, putting his hand on Phil’s leg. “You ready to head out?” Phil nodded.  
   
   
Dan told Phil to pack up the things he needed to take home with him while he went to tell Cynthia and PJ that he was taking Phil home. Cynthia gave him a warm smile. “Take care of him, yeah?” she said, looking a mix of serious and playful.  
   
   
“You know I will,” Dan replied with a wink.  
   
   
Cynthia smirked and rolled her eyes. “Don’t wink at me Howell, it won’t work on me,” she replied. Dan chuckled. “You two can leave, I’ll lock up once PJ’s out,” she added.  
   
   
“Thanks Cynth,” Dan said, giving her a nod and a smile. He returned to Phil’s office and helped him grab his laptop bag and a few other things. “You ready to go?” he asked.  
   
   
“Beyond ready,” Phil answered. “I can already feel my bed,” he added with a laugh. Dan grinned and reached for Phil’s hand with the one that wasn’t holding things. Phil took it without question and they walked out of the building together.  
   
   
Phil was surprisingly calm while Dan drove his car, not seeming at all worried about Dan damaging the car in any way. They drove in comfortable silence, the radio set to a classical station playing low piano in the background. Phil stared out the window. Dan could see his reflection in the glass and noticed his eyes drifting shut. “Don’t fall asleep,” Dan said gently. “I can’t carry you up to your apartment,” he added with a chuckle.  
   
   
Phil turned to him, eyes half lidded. He looked so vulnerable and Dan felt this overwhelming sense of duty to protect him. “Thank you, Daniel,” Phil said, his voice soft.  
   
   
“It’s nothing,” Dan replied. “You’d drive me home if I was falling asleep at work.”  
   
   
“Not that,” Phil clarified, he smiled, the crinkles by his eyes accentuated by the low light and heavy shadows. “Thank you for…” he cut himself off, his eyes shutting again before he muttered out the rest. “Taking care of me.”  
   
   
Dan blushed, he didn’t feel like he could ever do for Phil what Phil had done for him, he’d given him so much and not asked for anything in return. Dan noticed Phil was asleep and chuckled. “You’re welcome, you absolute spoon.” It was only a short drive back to Phil’s place, even with the stop lights and evening traffic. Dan recognized the building and pulled into the parking spot he remembered as Phil’s.  
   
   
Dan turned off the car and looked over seeing Phil still asleep beside him. He watched his face as peaceful breaths escaped past parted lips. He resisted the urge to put his hand over Phil’s were it rested on the seat beside him. “Phil,” he said quietly, trying to wake him gently. “Phil, we’re here,” he added. He chuckled, pulling out his phone and snapping a picture of the sleeping man.  
   
   
Dan saw no signs of Phil waking up so he leaned in close and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. Phil’s eyes opened slowly and blinked up at him. “Saying your name wasn’t working,” he said, trying to justify his reasoning, though in reality he just wanted to kiss him again.  
   
   
Phil chuckled, his body waking up. He adjusted in his seat and stretched a bit. “Understandable,” he replied with a smile. “Sorry I fell asleep on you,” he added with a sheepish grin.  
   
   
“It’s fine, you clearly need it,” Dan replied. “Plus, I’ve never been opposed to an attractive man falling asleep on me,” he teased. Phil chuckled. “Are you going to be okay making it up to your apartment?” Dan asked, his voice more serious again.  
   
   
Phil laughed. “Yes, I’ll be fine,” he answered. “Thanks again for driving me.”  
   
   
“Anytime,” Dan replied with a smile. They both got out of the car and Dan gave Phil his keys back before pulling out his phone and getting an Uber.  
   
   
“Here,” Phil said, passing Dan a hundred dollars in 20’s.  
   
   
Dan took one of the bills and laughed. “This will cover it, thanks,” he said with a smile.  
   
   
“Take it,” Phil said, holding out the rest of the money. “Put it towards a piano,” he added.  
   
   
Dan’s eyes went wide, he forgot they’d even talked about Dan wanting to learn to play again. “I can’t believe you remember me mentioning that,” he said, meeting Phil’s eyes and feeling shy.  
   
   
“Of course I do,” Phil responded. “Every time I hear a piano I think of you,” he said, taking Dan’s hand. “It would be an honour if you’d let me hear you play some day.” Phil looked at him with such care and genuine interest that Dan felt almost weak.  
   
   
“I’m not that good,” Dan said. “But, if you want to hear it then I promise to play for you sometime,” he added with a smile, taking the money and putting it in his pocket. Phil’s face lit up and Dan flushed.

“Want to come up while you wait for the car?” Phil asked, looking almost hopefully Dan would say yes. Dan wanted to, but he was feeling too many things and wasn’t sure he’d be able to be alone with Phil without saying some of them out loud.  
   
   
Dan shook his head. “No, it will only be a minute,” he answered. “Go up and get some rest,” he added, putting a hand on Phil’s arm. Phil pulled him into a hug and rested his head on his shoulder, Dan doing the same. When they pulled apart they both smiled.  
   
   
“Can I call you tomorrow to discuss doing a reshoot?” Phil asked, still very close, definitely inside what Dan considered his personal space, but he didn’t mind when Phil stepped into his personal bubble.  
   
   
“Yeah,” Dan answered. “And text me when you make it inside so I know you didn’t fall asleep in the elevator,” he added with a laugh.  
   
   
Phil laughed and nodded. “I will do that,” he replied. “Have a good night, Dan.”  
   
   
“You too,” Dan replied, watching as Phil walked away and into his apartment building. Dan leaned against Phil’s car and waited for his Uber a ridiculous smile plastered on his face as he looked at the sleeping picture of Phil on his phone.  
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the support on the last chapter, I have plans for the next big chapter but I wanted to write an in between one that was just cute fluff haha. Thanks for reading <3


	33. Chapter 33

It was mid afternoon the next day when Dan heard from Phil again. He was sitting on his couch playing a video game when he heard his phone ring. He saw Phil’s name pop up and smiled. “Hey,” he answered casually. “Sleeping Beauty finally up?” he teased.  
   
   
Phil chuckled. “Give me more credit than that, Sleeping Beauty is the worst princess,” he replied. Dan could hear him puttering about, most likely making food based on the sounds.  
 

“True, true,” Dan agreed. “I guess you’re more Snow White anyway,” he added. He could almost hear Phil’s rolling his eyes through the phone. “So, how are you feeling today?” he asked, pausing the game and laying back on his couch, he muted the TV so he could hear all of Phil’s little noises as he cooked.  
   
   
“I’m feeling so much better,” Phil answered. “I think I’ve been working too hard lately and my body retaliated,” he added with a light laugh. “Thank you for last night.”  
   
   
“No thanks needed, Phil,” Dan replied. “I’m just glad you sound like yourself again. Can you do me a favour?”  
   
   
“Of course, what can I do for you?” Phil asked, sounding so genuine, like he was willing to do whatever was asked.  
   
   
“Take care of yourself, please,” Dan replied. “Take of yourself the way you’d take care of me,” he added, knowing Phil cared about others’ well being more than his own a lot of the time. He blushed at his request, thinking about Phil taking care of him.  
   
   
Phil let out a breathy sigh. “I promise,” he replied simply. “If you’ll do the same,” he added.  
   
   
Dan’s smile spread across his face. “Always,” he agreed.  
   
   
“You’re the best friend a person could ever ask for,” Phil said, sounding so fond.  
   
   
Dan felt happy and proud, but also a bit hurt, the word ‘friend’ a reminder that they weren’t anything more. “Takes one to know one,” Dan replied.  
   
   
Phil chuckled. “Thank you,” he said. “I should go eat and then shower, I might go back to bed and have a self care day.”  
   
   
“That sounds like a good idea,” Dan agreed. “Thanks for calling and letting me know you were okay,” he added.  
   
   
“What makes you think I did it for you? Maybe I just wanted to hear your voice,” Phil teased. Dan flushed, even knowing Phil was just kidding, his words still affected him. “I’ll call you tomorrow at work to make plans to film again.”  
   
   
“Just let me know when works for you, I can work around your schedule,” Dan replied, already looking forward to Phil’s next call.  
   
   
“Alright,” Phil responded. “Have a good day, Daniel.”  
   
   
Dan had never really liked anyone calling him Daniel, it reminded him of when he was in school but whenever Phil said it he felt warm, he now related the name to Phil, which made it so much better. “Thanks, you too,” he replied. They hung up and Dan dropped his phone on his chest, putting his arms around himself to mimic the feeling of Phil hugging him. He already missed his voice.  
   
   
He sighed. “You really went and fell in love with your boss, didn’t you?” he said to himself with a laugh. He went to Phil’s social media pages and looked at pictures of him, he did that more often than he wanted to admit. When he couldn’t be around Phil sometimes seeing his face was enough to feel close to him momentarily, he really was the most gorgeous man. Inside and out he was exactly what Dan would have dreamed of if his imagination was ever able to come up with someone so perfect. To think he’d meet the most amazing man in the world, he’d turn out be both gay and single and somehow Dan would get himself friend-zoned. That was exactly his luck.  
   
   
Dan put the phone away, not wanting to get too sucked into his emotions and end up in a dark pit. He got up, pouring himself a glass of wine before returning to his game.  
   
   
He tried to focus on the fighting on the screen in front of him but thoughts of Phil kept flooding his mind, he tried to push them aside but after an hour he gave up. He’d been aroused yesterday and never did anything about it and now he was even more sexually frustrated than normal. Flashes of scenes with Phil kept popping up and he remembered the feelings as if he was reliving the scenes. He could almost feel Phil’s breath against his ear as he whispered private words just for them. His skin tingled when he thought of Phil’s hands roaming his body.

 

He dropped the controller and groaned, he didn’t want to take care of it by himself and feel even more lonely and desperate than he already did. He reached for his phone again, he had downloaded a hook-up app before he met Phil and though he’d never felt the urge to use it he suddenly felt drawn to it, maybe because he was lonely or maybe because he was two glasses of wine deep. He opened the app and created a profile. He put his name and some pictures but didn’t bother with any personal information, he didn’t want to get to know these men, he just needed to fuck. He flipped through the men near him who were also looking for a one-time-thing.  
   
   
He scanned through a bunch of them, saying no to each and every one. He downed another glass of wine feeling himself getting tipsy. He laughed at himself as he realized he’d gone through almost 50 people and turned every one down. He’d never been that fussy before and some of the men he’d passed were good looking and seemed nice enough but they weren’t the person he wanted to be with. He gave up but continued to flip through profiles for entertainment, laughing at some of the badly written bios. He swiped no on a guy who was shirtless in his profile pic with his hand on his crotch, instantly turned off. But the man who popped up next was a different story.  
   
   
Dan gasped. “Hey, I’m Phil. I’m 27, 6’4, verse top, dom. Not looking for anything serious, I am married to my work.” Dan felt his heart race, this was definitely his Phil, no one else had those eyes. He stared at his phone for a good couple of minutes, he knew he couldn’t swipe yes, but that wasn’t the problem, the issue was that suddenly he felt almost heart broken. He’d never considered that Phil was hooking up with random guys, and although he knew it wasn’t his business he couldn’t help but feel hurt and jealous. If Phil was going to hook-up with some random guy, why couldn’t it be him?  
   
   
He knew himself well enough to know that it was the wine that tipped him over the edge. He quickly swiped no on Phil and then started saying yes to everyone else, he needed someone and he needed them now. It didn’t take long for people to start hitting him up, but most of them asked for pics right away and he lost interest. There was one guy though who he decided to give a proper shot. They talked for a couple minutes before Dan sent him the important message.  
   
   
“Are you home right now? And if so can I come by? I’m looking for a right now thing.” He said, being completely blunt and honest about what he was looking for. The guy responded quickly, sending Dan his address and telling him to come by. Dan shoved all his emotions aside and got ready as fast as he could, calling a taxi and going to the man's apartment.  
   
   
Dan felt a bit nervous as he knocked on the stranger’s door. He knew better than to go to someone’s house without ever meeting them, the guy could be anyone, all Dan had to go off of was a profile pic that might not even be of him. When the door opened Dan felt a sense of relief, at the very least he was the guy from the picture. He was tall, though a bit shorter than Dan, he had dark hair and glasses. The resemblance to Phil wasn’t lost on him but he chalked it up to him having a type, despite not having it before he’d met Phil.  
   
   
“Hey,” Dan said casually.

   
“Hey, man,” The guy replied. “Come inside,” he added, stepping aside to let Dan into the apartment. “I’m Lewis,” he said with a smile. He was American and lacked any strong accent, Dan had kind of hoped he’d sound enough like Phil that with his eyes closed he could pretend. He hated himself for feeling that way but he couldn’t help it.  
   
   
“Dan,” Dan replied. “I’m glad to see you’re the guy from your picture,” he added with an awkward laugh.  
   
   
Lewis chuckled. “I was thinking the same thing,” he replied. “I thought I might be getting catfished.”  
   
   
“If I was going to be a catfish I’d use a picture of a better looking person,” Dan responded, looking around the place. It looked like any other normal apartment. It didn’t have the same amount of personality as Phil’s did. He mentally scolded himself for comparing everything to Phil.  
   
   
Lewis chuckled and put a hand on Dan’s cheek. “I don’t know, you’re pretty gorgeous,” he said with a wide smile. Dan blushed at the compliment. “Can I get you anything to drink?” Lewis asked, stepping out of Dan’s personal space.  
   
   
Dan shook his head. “If I wanted coffee I would have gone to Starbucks, not gotten on a hook-up app,” he teased.  
   
   
“Right,” Lewis replied. “Makes sense,” he added. “In that case, want to come to my room?” he asked.  
   
   
“Or we can do it here, up to you,” Dan replied with a soft laugh. Lewis grinned and lead him down the hall and into his room.  
   
   
   
Phil ate and showered, then took a nap like he’d told Dan he would do. It was evening and he was sitting on his couch watching anime when he heard his phone ring. He reached for it, seeing Dan’s name and smiling wide. “Hey, Dan,” he answered.  
   
   
“Phil….” Dan sounded upset and Phil was instantly on alert. His mind racing with thoughts of what could be wrong.  
   
   
“Dan are you okay? What happened?” he rushed his words, the panic setting in.  
   
   
Phil heard the sounds of Dan sniffling. “Can you come pick me up, please?” Dan asked, his voice soft.  
   
   
“Of course, where are you?” Phil said, jumping up off his couch. He didn’t even turn off the TV, he just grabbed his keys, slipped on the closest shoes and ran out the door. He didn’t pause to lock it, nothing in there was as important as the person on the other end of the line.  
   
   
“I’ll send you the address,” Dan replied. “Are you coming now?” he asked, sounding anxious and a bit worried that Phil wouldn’t come.  
   
   
“I’m almost to the car, okay, Dan? I promise I will be there as soon as I can,” Phil answered. “Are you alright? Do I need to call 999?”  
   
   
Dan let out a sad chuckle. “No, Phil, I don’t need medical attention, I just need…” Dan’s voice trailed off. “I need a friend and maybe a hug.” Phil felt his heart break at the words.  
   
   
“I’m getting in my car,” Phil said. “Send me the address, I will put it in my GPS and call you right back,” he added. Dan said something that sounded like an okay before hanging up. Phil got the address and put it into his GPS, pulling out of the parking lot and taking the fastest route to Dan’s location. He set the phone up so he could safely talk and drive and called the other man back. “I’m on my way,” he said as Dan answered.  
   
   
“Thank you Phil,” Dan replied. “Drive safe, don’t rush,” he added. “If you’re on the line I can wait.”  
   
   
“I’m here Dan, I’m not going anywhere,” Phil assured. “Can I ask what happened?” he questioned.  
   
   
“Can we talk about that when you get here?” Dan asked. “I don’t want to talk here, there’s people around,” he added.  
   
   
“Okay,” Phil agreed. “I should be there in about twelve minutes,” he added.  
   
   
“What were you doing when I called,” Dan asked.  
   
   
“Nothing important, don’t worry about it,” Phil responded.  
   
   
“That’s not what I meant,” Dan replied. “I didn’t mean to imply I took you from something important, I just wanted you to talk to me,” he clarified.  
   
   
“I was watching this anime that made no sense,” Phil answered. “Want me to explain it to you?” he asked. If Dan wanted to listen to Phil ramble so that he knew he wasn’t alone, then Phil would ramble as long as he needed too.  
   
   
“Yes please,” Dan replied, his voice sounding less broken than before. Phil talked for the next twelve minutes with only small interjections from Dan at some of the weirdest parts of the plot. He only stopped talking when he saw Dan leaning against the wall of the apartment. “I see you,” Dan said into the phone before hanging up. Phil watched as Dan walked towards him and got into the car.  
   
   
The car made it awkward and a bit uncomfortable, but as soon as Dan climbed into the passenger seat Phil pulled him into his arms. “Please tell me you’re okay,” he said, holding him tightly.  
   
   
Dan held onto Phil, his arms around his upper back and his hands in his hair. “I’m am now,” he replied. “Thank you for coming to get me,” he added, letting Phil go from his embrace.  
   
   
Phil pulled back and looked at Dan’s face, he could see he’d been crying but he looked okay other than that. “Can you tell me what happened now?” he asked gently, brushing his hands through Dan’s messy hair.  
   
   
“Can you start driving? I want to leave here,” Dan replied. Phil did as he asked and pulled away from the building, heading off towards his place. He wasn’t going to bring Dan back to his empty apartment without knowing what happened and if he may be at risk. “I came here to meet with someone off one of those hook-up apps,” Dan said as the were headed back towards a familiar area.  
   
   
Phil felt his stomach flip. “Daniel?” he asked tentatively. “Did he hurt you?”  
   
   
Dan’s eyes went wide. “Oh no, shit, sorry Phil, it was nothing like that,” he replied quickly. “I should have been clear, I’m sorry I worried you,” he mumbled, pulling at his sleeves.  
   
   
“It’s okay,” Phil assured, putting a hand on Dan’s knee for a second. “I am just glad that’s not what happened.” He let out a breath that he felt like he’d been holding in since he got the phone call. “Can I ask what then?”  
   
   
Dan sighed. “We were in the middle and I just suddenly felt sick and awful and I needed to be anywhere but there,” he answered. “The guy was fine, he let me leave without any issue and didn’t seem all that angry. I just couldn’t handle being there,” Dan explained. “I probably should have just called a cab instead of bothering you. I just felt panicked, I couldn’t think and my fingers dialed you. Before I had the chance to say anything you were on the way.”  
   
   
“I am glad you called me,” Phil replied. “I want to be here for you,” he added. “I was going to take you back to my place, but I just realized with the circumstances as they are, you might not feel comfortable in another strange apartment.”  
   
   
Dan put his hand on Phil’s arm. “It’s not the same, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again you feel like safety.” Dan replied. “I’d rather go to your’s than mine.” Phil smiled at him, putting his hand over Dan’s and rubbing his thumb across Dan’s knuckles. 

 

“Do you want to stay over tonight?” Phil asked. “I have a spare room.”

 

“Yeah, if you don’t mind,” Dan answered. Taking his hand away from Phil’s arm and putting it back on his lap with the other. “Do you mind if I use your shower?”

 

“Not at all,” Phil replied with a smile. “Anything that’s mine in yours,” he added. “Well… whatever’s still there that is.” 

 

“What does that mean?” Dan asked, giving him a confused look.

 

Phil laughed. “I rushed to you so fast I didn’t stop to lock the door,” he answered. “I think I closed it though, but I’m honestly not sure.”

 

Dan snorted. “You’re something else, Lester,” he replied with a chuckle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to break this chapter up into two sections so it wouldn't be as big and also so I can get you guys a chapter quicker ^^ Thanks for being literally the best, most supportive readers. You guys (gals and nonbinary pals) are the best <3


	34. Chapter 34

By the time they reached Phil apartment Dan was calm again, that sick feeling he’d had was replaced by the warmth he felt from Phil’s presence. He let out a content sigh once Phil’s apartment door was closed behind them, feeling like he was back inside his safe bubble. “Looks like nothing’s missing,” Phil said with a chuckle, scanning the room quickly.

 

“I still can’t believe you did that,” Dan replied, looking around and seeing the valuable things in Phil’s apartment, he didn’t have a lot of expensive things but his TV, game systems and other electronics added up. 

 

Phil laughed and shrugged. “I wouldn’t have been that mad honestly,” he replied. “It’d be worth it.” Dan studied his face and saw no signs that he was exaggerating, he really wouldn’t mind losing stuff as long as Dan was safe. “Can I get you anything?” he added, smiling welcomingly at Dan.

 

Dan took a step forward and wrapped his arms around Phil’s waist, resting his head on his shoulder. Phil gasped slightly, clearly shocked, but he copied Dan’s movements, pulling the other man closer to him. “Can I stay like this for just a moment?” he asked, his voice quiet and soft, scared Phil would deny him.

 

Phil only held him tighter. “As long as you need,” he answered gently. Dan could hear the clock ticking on the wall but he lost sense of time, listening to Phil’s steady breathing and rhythmic heart beat. His mind wandered back to the first time he’d met Phil; he’d never have guessed that this person would so quickly become not only his best friend but also his comfort. He couldn’t remember ever feeling this protected and taken care of.

 

Eventually Dan willed himself to pull away, unaware that he’d been in Phil’s arms for almost ten minutes. “Sorry,” Dan muttered, looking down. 

 

“Don’t be,” Phil responded. “I think we could both use more affection in our lives,” he added, crinkles forming by his eyes as he smiled.

 

Dan looked up and smiled back, nodding softly. “Yeah,” he agreed. “I really can’t thank you enough, Phil, for everything.”

 

“No need,” Phil replied. “That’s what friends are for.” They fell into comfortable silence and Dan glanced around the apartment. “Oh right,” Phil said fallowing Dan’s eyes. “Why don’t you go take a shower and I’ll get the guest room set up?”

 

Dan laughed. “I just realized the only thing I have on me is my phone,” he said, remembering he hadn’t even taken a bag with him to the strangers’ place.

 

“You have everything you need,” Phil responded. Dan gave him a quizzical look. Phil gestured to the apartment. “Remember?” he asked. “Everything that’s mine is yours. We just went over this,” he laughed and shook his head.

 

“Did you really mean that?” Dan asked, assuming that Phil was just saying the expression, no one ever actually meant it.

 

“Of course, Dan,” Phil said with the sincerest expression. They walked down the small hallway and Phil opened the door on the left. “This is my room.” Dan looked inside the room and found it suited Phil perfectly, it was bright and colorful without being too childish, a sense of whimsy in the knickknacks showed off that part of Phil that seemed to always be in another world. “You can take whatever you need,” Phil said casually, like it was nothing. 

 

Dan waited for Phil to enter the bedroom and followed behind. Phil sat down on the bed and look up at him expectantly. “What?” Dan questioned.

 

“I thought you might want to ask me where things are,” Phil responded.

 

“Oh, right,” Dan replied, he felt his face flush, he normally just slept in boxers but that seemed like a weird thing to ask to borrow from a friend. “Just a t-shirt and some pants that aren’t jeans would be fine.”

 

Phil pointed. “That’s a drawer of sleep shirts, take whichever one you want,” he said, seeming unphased with Dan going through his clothes. Dan pulled out the drawer and was surprised that it was organized, Phil somehow seemed both put together and like a total disaster of a mess at the same time. 

 

Dan found an oversized black t-shirt and pulled it out. “Is this okay?” he asked, holding it up to Phil.

 

“Yeah, sure,” Phil replied. “Boxers are in the drawer below if you want a pair, up to you,” he added.

 

Dan blushed. “I do normally sleep in boxers but I thought it might we a weird thing to borrow,” he admitted. 

 

Phil laughed. “Have you forgotten what we do for work?” he questioned teasingly.

 

Dan chuckled, Phil was right, he was just being silly. He took out basic pair of blue boxer briefs from the drawer. “That should be good,” Dan said, pushing the drawers back in and getting up off the floor.

 

“Didn’t you say you wanted pants?” Phil questioned.

 

“I don’t normally sleep in pants. I was going to cause I thought it might be weird if we ran into each other in the hall or something,” Dan explained. “But then you just pointed out the obvious fact that we’ve seen each other naked, so I didn’t see the point in bothering.”

 

Phil chuckled. “Dan, don’t change the way you do things for me, okay?” he asked, sounding serious.

 

Dan was taken off guard but he nodded. “Okay, I will work on that,” he replied, knowing it was in his nature to change who he was to suit the people he was around. Phil smiled widely, and they walked out of the room together. 

 

“This is the guest room,” Phil said, opening the door across from his bedroom and letting Dan look inside. “I’ll make up the bed, while you shower.”

 

“You don’t have to do that, I can make my own bed Phil,” Dan teased.

 

Phil sighed. “You’re my guest, let me do things for you,” he said, putting his hand on Dan’s arm. Dan blushed and nodded. “I have clean towels and extra tooth brushes and everything in the cabinet in the bathroom,” Phil said, pointing Dan towards the bathroom. “Go shower.”

 

“Thank you, Phil,” Dan said, brushing shoulders with Phil when he walked past him. 

 

“Dan?” Phil questioned, making Dan turn and give Phil his attention again. “Can we talk when you get out?”

 

“Yeah, sure,” Dan replied with a smile before closing the bathroom door. The serious way Phil had asked made his heart beat faster, did Phil realize that Dan had feelings beyond friendship? Was he worried about Dan’s mental state? Did Dan cross a line or do something wrong? He tried to calm himself, he knew Phil wouldn’t wait if it was really important. 

 

He undressed and got into the shower, turning on the water and sighing happily when he felt the warm water run down his skin, washing away the scent of that stranger’s apartment. He was angry at himself for being so stupid, thinking some random hook-up could make a dent in his feelings for Phil. Thinking anyone else could compare or make him feel the way that Phil did. He’d been trying to keep himself composed, and now that he was alone in a place he felt safe he started full on sobbing in. Tears mixing with the water and disappearing. He was ashamed and disappointed in himself, he knew sex couldn’t cover feelings, knew you couldn’t just fake your way through while thinking of someone else. Not only that but he’d let Phil see him at his lowest point and he’d been so kind and understanding as if Dan hadn’t gotten himself into this mess. 

 

Phil was making the bed and humming quietly, listening to the sound of running water letting him know Dan was in the shower. He heard a noise and went silent, listening to see if Dan was calling his name. He heard what sounded like small sobbing sounds and he felt his heat break for the second time that evening. He hated that he couldn’t take away all Dan’s pain, he would take it all for himself if it meant Dan wouldn’t hurt anymore. Phil ignored the urge to go knock on the door and ask if Dan was okay, he knew if Dan wanted to talk about it he would. 

 

Dan stepped out of the shower and dried himself with one of Phil’s soft towels, he breathed in the scent of Phil and smiled into the thick fabric. He dried his hair, brushed his teeth and pulled on the clothes of Phil’s, they were soft and worn in and Dan imagined Phil wore them often, which made him love them even more. He made sure his eyes weren’t too red and that there were no obvious signs he’d been crying before he stepped out of the bathroom.

 

“Phil?” Dan called out softly.

 

“I’m in my room,” Phil called back. Dan poked his head around Phi’s bedroom door that was partially open. He saw Phil sitting with his back against his headboard, Phil looked up and smiled at him. “Come in,” he said gently, patting the bed beside him. 

 

Dan entered into the room shyly, feeling more naked than when he’d actually been naked with Phil in the past. He sat down at the end of the bed, across from Phil. He bit his lip nervously. “What did you want to talk about?” he asked, not sure he wanted the answer.

 

“Dan, are you okay?” Phil asked, leaning closer and giving Dan a concerned expression.

 

“Yes Phil, I told you nothing happened. I just made a mistake that’s all,” Dan answered.

 

“But why?” Phil asked gently. “Why would you go to some strangers’ house without telling anyone where you were going? Why would you hook-up with someone you have no feelings for when you’ve already said you don’t like that?” There was no judgement in his voice, no aggression, just genuine care and concern.

 

“I don’t know Phil, why do you do it?” Dan asked, his jealously adding a tone he hadn’t intended. “I’m sorry Phil, you don’t have to explain yourself,” he added, feeling instantly regretful.

“Did you find my profile?” Phil asked. Dan nodded. Phil pulled back and took in a breath. “I don’t know,” he answered calmly. “I don’t know why I did it when I knew I didn’t like the way it made me feel. But I’ve stopped, for the record, deleted the app.”

 

Dan sighed impressed by Phil’s openness. “I did it cause I was lonely,” he answered. “I thought this time would be different and maybe it would help.”

 

“This time?” Phil questioned, eyebrow raised in curiosity.

 

“Remember when we went to Kyler’s art show?” Dan asked. Phil nodded. “The hickey, the one Kyler pointed out…” Dan trailed off. 

 

“You don’t have to tell me Dan, this isn’t an interrogation,” Phil reminded, gently placing a hand on Dan’s knee.

 

“I’d tried to hook with Kyler before the art show,” Dan admitted with a blush. Phil took his hand back, looking a bit upset. “I realized I couldn’t and we just ended up talking.”

 

Phil paused for a moment, “The day you came over because I was bored, I had been intending to meet with a stranger at a hotel, that’s was the “friend” I was calling, I called to cancel.”

 

“So we both do hook-up’s even though we hate them?” Dan asked with a snort.

 

“It would seem so,” Phil replied, chuckling. The tension between them for the uncomfortable topics had faded and they were back to their normal chemistry.

 

“It wasn’t just that I was lonely,” Dan said quietly, scared of Phil’s judgement.

 

“Can I ask why then?” Phil questioned, moving a bit closer to Dan so their knees touched.

 

“I was jealous,” Dan admitted. “At first I was just lonely and horny but then I realized I didn’t like any of the guys on there and I gave up but then I saw your profile and….” He trailed off, letting Phil fill in the rest.

 

“You’re jealous that I was hooking up with other people?” Phil asked, tentatively.

 

Dan nodded. “I didn’t understand why,” he replied. “You told me you didn’t like meaningless sex, but your profile said that all you were looking for,” he added. “I didn’t understand why… why if it was going to be some stranger, why it couldn’t be me.” Dan sighed, looking. “We have chemistry, you said so yourself.”

 

Phil smiled softly and took Dan’s hands. “Daniel,” Phil said, making Dan looked up again. “It can’t be you because I can’t just have sex with you.”

 

Dan nodded. “Right, the contract I know,” he replied. “I understand it breaks the rules and-“

 

Phil cut him off. “It doesn’t break the rules,” he said calmly.

 

“Yes it does, you said we had to limit contact outside of filming,” Dan said, looking at Phil with a confused expression.

 

“It’s not that it breaks the rules, I have couple that work for me, it’s not about that,” Phil explained.

 

“Then why?” Dan asked calmly. “Why can’t you have sex with me?” he questioned. Phil hadn’t said he didn’t want to, he said he couldn’t, and that distinction made Dan need to know.

 

“I can’t just have sex with you,” Phil repeated. He sighed. “I can’t have meaningless sex with you because you’re not meaningless,” he answered. Dan took a deep breath feeling his heart swell but couldn’t find the words be needed to respond. “I care about you too much to just have sex and go our separate ways,” Phil explained, putting his hand over Dan’s own on the bed. 

 

Dan wanted to surge forward and kiss Phil, all the emotions inside of him bubbling over but he knew now wasn’t the time. This was a conversation they had to have and he had to keep himself grounded to properly have it. “What do you mean?” Dan asked, too afraid to say what he thought Phil was getting at in case he was wrong. He was terrified of messing up the most important friendship he’s ever had.

 

Phil smiled gently. “Dan, before I say this I want you to know I will drive you home or call you cab in if you change your mind about staying, okay?” he asked. Dan nodded his heart beating fast and loud in his chest. “The idea of having sex with you without being able to cuddle you afterwards, having to let you go and sleep alone, not being able to tell you how important you are to me. I can’t handle that.”

 

Dan felt his heart almost stop at Phil’s words and the pure expression on his face. “We could cuddle afterwards,” Dan said shyly, chewing his lip. He seen a hopeful glint in Phil’s eye. “I could spend the night, maybe make breakfast in the morning…” Dan trailed off not wanting to get his hopes up. 

 

Phil smiled and leaned closer kissing Dan’s cheek. “Dan,” he said sweetly, making Dan look at him. “My feelings for you are very strong, I don’t want friends with benefits,” he clarified, wanting to so sure they were on the same page.

 

“Phil,” Dan spoke, almost a whisper. “Are you saying you like me?” he asked, terrified of the answer but needing to hear the words to feel any sense of safety in this moment. He couldn’t stop that sickening feeling that he’d misread the whole situation unless he heard the words he’d been wanting to hear for months. 

 

“I’m saying ‘like’ might be a bit of an understatement,” Phil replied with a soft chuckle. 

 

Dan felt overwhelmed, he couldn’t speak or think properly, his body moving on it’s own. He leaned over and kissed Phil softly, their lips meeting in a sweet and gently kiss. Phil put his arms around Dan’s waist and guided him into his lap. Dan straddled him, arms around his neck, playing with the ends of his hair. This kiss wasn’t heated, it wasn’t rushed, it wasn’t even really a kiss. It was a conversation, it was all the emotions they’d never discussed, and the feeling’s they kept hidden, it was everything that needed to be said. Unlike any other kiss they’d shared this was personal and for only them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew... I had to go back and reread this entire story from the start because I felt disconnected from it and everything I wrote felt robotic and emotionless, but after rereading (and fixing inconsistencies throughout) the whole thing I feel like this actually back in the direction I had in mind originally haha. 
> 
> Anyway thanks for reading and for sticking with me through the longer wait times. I really can't thank you all enough. New readers, readers that have been here from the start, whatever you are I appreciate you so much! <3


	35. Chapter 35

Dan’s heart felt like it exploded when he fully registered what Phil had said. He felt alive and aware of every sensation in his body. Time was a construct he wasn’t able to grasp when their lips were pressed together. The outside world was a blur, all that he could feel, see, smell, taste and hear was himself and Phil and he had never felt more right. Dan felt Phil start to pull away and leaned forward, not wanting them to part just yet, he didn’t want to return to reality, he wanted to stay in this moment for just a little longer. Scared that when they parted it would all fall apart.  
   
   
Phil put his hand on Dan’s cheek, keeping just enough distance that their lips weren’t brushing. “Daniel,” he spoke softly, the most caring smile on his face.  
   
   
“Did I misread the situation?” Dan asked nervously, sitting back a bit so they weren’t chest to chest.  
   
   
Phil chuckled. “No, you mostly definitely did not,” he replied, pecking Dan’s lips again. “I just think we should sleep on it,” he added. “You’re emotional tonight and that’s perfectly fine but I want to be sure were on the same page. I wouldn’t want to take advantage of you while you're vulnerable,” he explained, his voice so warm Dan felt himself melt again.  
   
   
“Okay,” Dan agreed with a nod. He knew what he was feeling, he’d been feeling it way before the incident of today but Phil was being clear on what would make him more comfortable and Dan wasn’t going to push that.  
   
   
Dan went to climb off Phil’s lap but Phil tightened his arms around him again. “Can I hold you just a second longer?” he asked, looking small and almost timid.  
   
   
Dan smiled wide and readjusted on his lap. “Please do,” he replied. He nuzzled his face in the crook of Phil’s shoulder and enjoyed listening to the sounds of Phil’s gentle breathes. Phil rubbed his back in a comforting circle pattern and Dan felt at home, this is the feeling he’d been searching so long for, that sense of belonging, that this was where he was supposed to be. He felt tears in his eyes and wiped them with the hem of the t-shirt he was wearing.  
   
   
Phil noticed him lift the shirt and pulled back to look at Dan. “Are you okay?” he asked, taking Dan’s hand. He bent his head to try and see Dan’s face, their gaze met and Dan saw the concern in Phil’s beautiful blue eyes.  
   
   
Dan sniffled. “Yeah,” he replied. He wanted to tell Phil that he felt so safe and cared for that it made him emotional, but he wanted to respect Phil’s wish to sleep on it before going further. “I will tell you once we’ve slept on it,” he answered with a smile.  
   
   
Phil kissed Dan’s knuckle before putting his hand gently back on Dan’s leg. “Thank you,” Phil responded. He was glad Dan was taking his request seriously, he was pretty sure they were both feeling the same thing, you couldn’t fake a kiss like the one they’d just shared. But any kind of risk, no matter how small, wasn’t worth it. If Dan woke up and felt different now, Phil could live with that, but if they went too far and Dan regretted it he couldn’t have that on his conscience.  
   
   
Dan started to feel sleepy, his eyes closing on their own every few seconds before he had to force them back open. Of course Phil noticed, Phil noticed everything when it came to Dan. “Hey,” he said softly, getting Dan attention after many minutes of silence. “We should get you to bed, yeah?” he said with a chuckle at how drowsy Dan looked.  
   
   
Dan bit his lip and took a deep breath. “Can I sleep in here?” he asked, feeling just bold enough to ask, even though he immediately felt himself flush once the words left his mouth.  
   
   
Phil paused for a moment, thinking it over. He wanted Dan to stay, of course he did, that wasn’t even a question. Getting to sleep with Dan in his arms would be perfection, but again this was just a step farther then he felt ready for right now. “I think it’s better if we sleep separately,” Phil answered after he decided. “You can be honest though,” he reminded before continuing. “Do you need to sleep in here?” he asked softly.  
   
   
Dan wasn’t surprised by Phil’s answer, he assumed Phil would say to wait, but he hadn’t expected Phil to ask him so earnestly if he needed it. He thought for a second, Sure he wanted it, he really wanted it, the idea of sleeping wrapped in Phil’s embrace sounded like everything he ever wanted, but it was definitely a want and not a need. Staying in Phil’s apartment was a need, the distance wasn’t something he could think about right now, but a room right across from him was manageable. He could wait a little long to sleep in Phil’s arms if that’s what he wanted. “No, I don’t need it,” Dan answered after a moment. “Being close to you is enough for now.”  
   
   
Phil smiled. “Okay, then,” he replied. “Let’s get you settled in.” Dan climbed off him and up off the bed, Phil followed behind him and walked him to the guest room. As unnecessary as it was it made Dan happy. “I think I put everything you’ll need in here, but if you think of anything else you can come wake me up, okay?” Phil asked.  
   
   
“I’m sure I’ll be fine,” Dan replied laying out on the bed, it was soft and comfortable like the ones they’d filmed on. Dan felt his eyes shut again and had to try a couple times to force them back open.  
   
   
Phil laughed. “I’ll go get you a glass of water, get in the bed,” he said, leaving the room for a moment. Dan got under the covers and pulled them up around him with a contented sigh, this was such an upgrade from his own bed, the sheets were softer, the duvet fluffier and the mattress was incredible. Plus, everything smelled like Phil, it smelled warm and slightly sweet. He knew his own bed would feel awfully sad after this. Maybe he’d ask Phil if he could steal a set of sheets, he was sure Phil would let him.  
   
   
Phil returned and put the water glass beside the bed. He noticed Dan’s eyes were closed again and chuckled softly. He tucked the covers around Dan, careful not to jostle him, then placed a kiss on his forehead. “Goodnight sweetheart,” he whispered. Before he left, he turned on the nightlight he’d plugged into the wall just for Dan and then flicked off of standing lamp. He left Dan’s door open, as well as his own bedroom door so that Dan knew he was welcome to come in if he changed his mind about needing it.  
   
   
Dan was half asleep as Phil tucked him in and wished him goodnight, but he was awake enough to feel the love of the other man and it was that overwhelming kind of love. Dan still needed to hear Phil say that love was of the romantic kind for him to believe that. But he didn’t need words to assure him that Phil felt some version of love for him, his actions made that clear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter because I wanted to show the rest of that night before jumping into the next morning. That you all so much for your positive response to the last chapter, it meant lot! <3


	36. Chapter 36

Dan, having fallen asleep early and sleeping better than he could ever remember, was awake a little after the sun came up. He opened his eyes to the unfamiliar environment and felt a second of panic before he recognized where he was by the comforting scent of Phil and let out a relieved sigh. Part of him almost thought last night was a dream, that maybe he’d fallen asleep at the stranger’s apartment and never called Phil.  
   
   
He spent a couple minutes snuggled up in the sheets and feeling a bit giddy. He felt a small sense of childlike joy and laughed at himself, he was in so deep with his feelings, but for the first time it felt okay. Like maybe he wouldn’t mess this up.  
   
   
He rolled out of the warm comfy bed and carefully crept out of the room. He saw Phil’s half open bedroom door and peaked inside. Phil was still sleeping soundly, his hair a mess and his face relaxed with the softest smile. Dan wanted so badly to run his hands through that mess of black hair and kiss him awake. ‘Maybe someday’, he thought. He shut the door quietly and headed to the bathroom for his quick morning routine.  
   
   
He walked out into the main room of Phil’s apartment and checked the fridge and cupboards to see what was around. He wanted to make breakfast for Phil like he’d promised he would before. He found all the ingredients for American style pancakes and his face lit up. He remembered Phil mentioning his love of IHOP in the past and although he knew his wouldn’t be as good as those, he hoped he could show at least some of his appreciation through his cooking.  
   
   
Luckily for him he had his phone and Phil’s Wi-Fi set to automatically connect so he could search for a recipe online. He found one with a lot of good reviews and did his best to follow it exactly. It was a slow process, as he double and triple checked everything, but it was worth it when he poured a bit of the batter in the pan and was able to try it once it cooked. He grinned, proud of his baking accomplishment.  
   
   
He debated bringing Phil breakfast in bed, but decided that seemed a bit too forward, they’d agreed to talk before deciding anything and Dan wanted to respect that. Instead he put on a pot of coffee then went to Phil’s door again. Listening to see if he could hear any signs of him being awake. He heard a shuffling sound and took a guess that it was Phil getting out of bed. Dan rushed back to the kitchen and poured more batter into the pan, wanting the sweet smell to find it’s way to Phil’s nose.  
   
   
It didn’t take long for Dan to hear Phil’s bedroom door open. “Dan?” Phil called out softly.  
   
   
“I’m in here,” Dan called back, flipping the pancakes and heating up some syrup in a creamer. “Coffee’s almost ready,” he added with a sweet smile as he saw Phil enter into the room. His hair was still a mess, the quiff half falling over his face. His clothes were rumpled and consisted of a purple t-shirt and green and blue sleep pants. He looked adorable and again Dan wanted to kiss him.  
   
   
“Thanks,” Phil replied, smiling back. He walked over and put his head on Dan’s shoulder to see what he was making. Dan blushed, suddenly feeling exposed in only the boxers and Phil’s tee. “You made pancakes?” Phil asked.  
   
   
“Yeah,” Dan replied. “I remember you saying you liked them. I hope it’s okay that I used your kitchen.”  
   
   
“Of course,” Phil replied taking a step back from Dan and pouring a cup of coffee, he drank the steaming hot liquid instantly and Dan was both scared and a bit impressed. “I appreciate it,” he added. Dan gave him a small smile and returned his attention to the food. “How’d you sleep?” Phil asked, taking a seat at one of the two barstools on the other side of the small kitchen island.  
   
   
“Better than I have in years,” Dan answered honestly. He took three plates from the cupboard and put some pancakes on one, taking the syrup from the microwave and putting it all on the counter in front of Phil. “You?” he asked, pouring more batter in to cook while they ate the first batch.  
   
   
Phil was quiet for a moment. “I didn’t sleep the best,” he answered, reaching for a pancake and putting it on his plate to eat. Dan passed him a knife and a fork as he took a seat down beside him. “I was a bit nervous for today if I’m being honest.”  
   
   
“Why?” Dan asked, a bit concerned that Phil regretted what he said last night. “We were tired last night,” he added. “I understand if things were said that you didn’t mean.”  
  

Phil turned to him quickly. “No, that’s not it at all,” he said, rushing his words. He wanted to assure Dan and quick as possible. “I just was a bit nervous about the talk we need to have,” he said. “I’ve never been the best at saying the right things during important conversations.”  
   
   
Dan chuckled. “I disagree,” he replied. “You always seem to say just the right things,” he added with a smile. Phil smiled back. “Let’s eat for now and we can talk after, yeah?” He could put the conversation aside despite how badly he wanted to talk if it let Phil enjoy his breakfast without worry.  
   
   
Phil nodded. “That sounds good,” he agreed. “These are incredible by the way,” he added, having taken a bite of the pancakes.  
   
   
“Thank you,” Dan replied. “I doubt they’re anything like IHOP, but I tried my best.”  
   
   
Part of Phil’s brain wanted to say that they were better because they were made with love, but he wasn’t ready to use that word yet. “I would happily eat them for breakfast everyday,” he said instead. “Well… maybe just most days, I’d still miss cereal,” he added with a chuckle.  
   
   
“Of course you would,” Dan replied, rolling his eyes teasingly.  
   
   
They talked and laughed as the finished up breakfast and started on hand-washing the couple dishes, Dan felt as though Phil was purposely making things take longer, postponing the conversation as long as possible. Phil meticulously cleaned each dish and then Dan dried it before putting it away. Dan put the last dish in the cupboard and turned to Phil, looking at him expectantly, waiting for him to start talking.  
   
   
Phil gave him a smile and walked over to the couch, Dan following behind him and sitting across from him. Phil looked at him for a long moment, no words coming from his mouth. He chuckled and looked away. “I’m sorry, this is just so hard for me,” he admitted.  
   
   
“What is?” Dan asked, not sure exactly what this conversation was supposed to be about. Was it about them working together while having whatever kind of dynamic they currently had? Or was it about changing the relationship? He wasn’t sure yet.  
   
   
“Serious talks,” Phil replied. “I get really in my head and can’t find the words I want.”  
   
   
Dan leaned into Phil’s direct line of sight and their eyes met. “Phil, it’s just me. Say whatever you want to say,” he said gently. “I can start if you want,” he added. Phil turned back to look at him and Dan took that as a yes. Dan had been confident until that moment, he’d never had feelings for anyone the way he did for Phil, how did someone express those kinds of feelings? He laughed. “I’ve never done this,” he said.  
   
   
“Done what?” Phil asked, his uncomfortable expression changing to one of curiosity.  
   
   
“Had this kind of conversation,” Dan answered. “I’ve only dated a few people and it was never serious, I didn’t really have strong feelings to confess.”  
   
   
Phil’s eyes lit up behind his glasses. “Are you saying that’s different with me?” he questioned.  
   
   
Dan nodded. “Of course it is,” he replied.  
   
   
Phil smiled. “It’s different for me too,” he agreed. “I haven’t cared about someone the way I care about you in a long time, if ever.”  
 

Dan felt so full hearing Phil say that, knowing they felt the same way about each other. “The reason I cried in your arms last night is because I’ve never felt safe like I do when I’m with you. I’ve never felt like being truly myself was enough. Sometimes I don’t even think I know who I am because I’m so used to trying to fit into what people want me to be but it’s different with you,” Dan explained. Dan felt his face heat up. “I’m pretty sure I love you, Phil,” he said softly. “I mean, I know I care strongly for you, but I’m also pretty sure I want to be with you,” he added. “Romantically,” he clarified, not wanting to be vague in any way.  
 

Phil looked calm and took one of Dan’s hands. “Do you feel like I’ve pressured you at all? Or like working together has made you feel this way?” he asked. Dan gave a confused look and Phil continued. “There is that built in power imbalance of me technically being your boss and I want to make sure that has nothing to do with this.”

 

Dan stared for a moment then laughed. “It’s not about work or about you being my boss,” he answered. “It’s about who you are and how you treat people especially how you treat me. You’re so kind, comforting, understanding and incredible, you make me feel important and cared for in a way I haven’t felt in a very long time,” he said, blushing a bit.  
 

Phil’s face changed instantly, his smile so wide Dan assumed it must hurt. He wrapped his arms around Dan’s torso, just under his arms and held him as close as physically possible, pulling him onto his lap. Dan felt a bit choked by the tight grip but he barely noticed, wrapping his arms around Phil’s neck and adjusting so he was sitting comfortably on Phil’s folded legs. “God, Dan, I love you so much,” Phil said, his lips moving near Dan’s neck and sending a shiver down his spine.  
   
   
Dan was completely overwhelmed to the point where he was silent and unmoving. He wanted to cry, to scream, to jump around and to kiss the life out of Phil, but instead he remained still, his whole body wrapped up in Phil’s.   
   
   
“I think about you far more than I should and whenever something even mildly interesting happens I want to tell you. I get excited whenever I know I’ll be seeing you and working with you has been some of the best experiences of my life,” Phil talked and talked, but Dan only heard the first part, he couldn’t take it all in at once. He felt tears sting his eyes and he gripped his fingers in Phil’s shirt.  
   
   
Phil noticed the change in Dan’s behavior and stopped talking, pulling back to look at him. “What’s wrong?” Phil asked gently, wiping Dan’s tears with his thumb. “Overwhelmed?”  
   
   
Dan nodded, he was so overwhelmed but he didn’t want it to stop. “I’ve wanted this since we met,” Dan replied. “I never thought I’d get to have this, ever. Not with anyone, but definitely not with you.”  
   
   
Phil kissed his cheek and smiled sweetly. “I’ve wanted this since we met, too,” he replied. “I never thought I’d find someone who understands me the way you do. Someone who I share such a genuine connection with. I’ve never met anyone like you, you’re so special and perfect.”  
   
   
Dan sniffled and leaned back to look into Phil’s stunning blue eyes. He kissed him softly, the slow glide of their lips comforting him and bringing him back. “Is it weird to go from being friends to suddenly confessing everything in under 12 hours?” he asked when they pulled apart.  
   
   
“Normally I would say yes, but we didn’t start our friendship in the normal way so why bother trying to be normal now?” Phil answered with a chuckle. “We can take a step back and slow down, whatever you want,” he assured with a smile.  
   
   
Dan cupped Phil’s face kissing him deeply. “I don’t want to take a step back,” Dan said. “I love you.” He laughed lightly. “I love you,” he said again, smiling. “God, Phil, I love you.” Now that he could finally say it he wanted nothing more than to keep repeating it, to assure himself this was real. Phil kissed him back, the kiss quickly turning heated, mostly by Dan’s influence. “Do we still need to talk more before I’m allowed to join you in bed?” Dan asked when their lips parted.  
   
   
“I think we’ve pretty well worked it out,” Phil responded. “Any questions or concerns?” he asked, wanting to make sure they didn’t rush things.  
   
   
Dan grinned and kissed Phil's neck, biting lightly, maybe just a bit too excited. “Nothing that we can’t discuss later,” he answered.  
   
   
“Woah, eager,” Phil teased.  
   
   
Dan flushed. “It’s not that I’m eager, it’s that I’ve been patiently waiting for months and I’d very much like to be with you; without the lights, cameras and expectations. Just us,” he replied. “Obviously though, I’ll keep waiting if you’re not ready,” he added quickly, realizing Phil might feel pressured.  
 

Phil pouted for a second. “I would love nothing more than to make love to you,” he said with a sad sigh. “But, I took yesterday off and I really can’t miss another day of work,” he explained, giving Dan a guilty expression.

 

Dan’s eyes widened. “Oh shit, Phil, I totally forgot about work,” he said quickly, his desires being put on the back burner. “What time is it?” he reached for his phone to check the time, looking panicked.

 

Phil chuckled and covered Dan’s hand, blocking the phone screen. “Don’t worry about it,” he replied, kissing Dan’s cheek. “I’m the boss, I’m allowed to be a bit late,” he added.

 

“But not late enough for us to have sex?” Dan asked teasingly.

 

“I wouldn’t have enough time to treat you right for our first time off camera,” Phil responded. “I’d like to take time to properly ravish you if you’ll let me.”

 

Dan flushed and hid his face his Phil’s shoulder. “God,” he muttered out, feeling aroused at Phil’s words. “I will definitely let you.”

 

Phil smiled and and pushed Dan away from him just enough to kiss him softly. “I really do need to get ready for work,” he said, sounding sad.

 

“Don’t be sad, Philly,” Dan said, brushing their noses together. “I can come to work with you if you want?” he added with a sweet smile.

 

“Really?” Phil asked, his eyes wide with excitement.

 

Dan laughed, feeling so incredible that Phil wanted him about that much. “Of course, I’ll hang out in your office and we can talk when you’re not busy. Maybe I can even help Cynthia out a bit.”

 

Phil smiled. “That sounds perfect,” he said. 

 

“Great, then let’s go get ready, we don’t want to go into work together and be late,” Dan said with a chuckle. He jumped up off Phil’s lap. “Can I borrow some clothes?” he asked.

 

“Can’t borrow thing’s that are already yours,” Phil replied.

 

Dan gave him a weird look. “Oh right, your stuff is my stuff, I forgot. That works perfectly though cause I am totally stealing a set of your sheets.”

 

Phil snorted and grinned. “Why don’t we talk more about that at work? I may have a better idea.”

 

Dan nodded in agreement, excited to know but also knowing they were already going to be late. They both went to get ready together, realizing very quickly that everything took much longer when they were together because they couldn’t stop the silly banter or soft touches. They didn’t mind though, they’d gladly wake up earlier or accept be late if it meant they got to be in each others presence and make each other smile and laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told myself I wouldn't apologize for chapters taking awhile, so I'm not going to do that. But, I do want to say that though I may sometimes get way too in my head to write (due to either stress or depression) I am always so thankful for all of you who read this and support me. Thank you all so much <3

**Author's Note:**

> As always, I am making no claims about the real people Daniel James Howell and Phillip Micheal Lester. I don't know their relationship status or sexual preferences this is just a work of fiction. They have given us consent in the past to write whatever we like but if that changes and they revoke the consent, I will respect that completely and take this story down, as well as any others I have posted with their names.


End file.
